Genuinely curious about wanting a private table

[cadien]

Asking someone who you will be sharing dinner with for a week where they live and what kind of work they do is not being nosey.

What kind of work they do and the name of their employer are two very different things.

 

[MUN]

See, this has to be a personality preference... these words made me shudder a bit. I don't want to have to have dinner with anyone for a week except my family. It's just an individual choice. No choice is more right or wrong than another. Reading all these above responses where people at shared tables suddenly are left with no tablemates makes me think those people may have chosen another option where they could dine alone. And that's okay too.

I agree with you. If you don't want to sit at a table with strangers for your cruise, you should request a table for just your family. Our experience is that DCL is accommodating.

 

[cadien]

I didn't say most people. I said some. Based on my personal experience after 30+ cruises and a number of high end escorted family tours, some people are extremely nosey and don't respect boundaries.

Oh absolutely. It just doesn't bother me to tell them no.

 

[dvcdisney]

For my family, it's quite simple. It's a family vacation and we didn't go on the cruise to spend time with other people. However, like every cruise we've had, we have only eaten one meal together per day. Everyone is doing their own thing all day during sea days so it's important for us to reconnect at dinner each night.

The only times we spend time together as a family on a cruise is dinner, excursions and when we sleep...even sleeping is all that different times. I like to wake up early and have breakfast in the dining rooms and, on our last cruise (12nights British Isles), I had breakfast with my husband twice, my daughter once and my son always sleeps in - so not once with him. For lunch, I ate with my husband 4 times and didn't eat with either by daughter or son. They spend the sea days with their friends. As soon as we're back from the excursion, the go off with their friends and eat with them.

So as you can imagine, I would like to see my family once in a while and that's for dinner. We discuss what we did and what we may be doing tomorrow. It's the best way to have everyone together and I don't really want that time taken up by someone else.

 

[DitkaFan]

This thread was a great reminder to call DCL and ensure I had remembered to request private tables for both of my upcoming Disney Cruises

 

[Rabb it]

How "intimate" was it? The tables in the dining rooms are thisclose to each other. Many times only 6" or so apart.

More intimate than other families you don't know sitting at the exact same table as you, taking part in conversations, and sharing condiments with one another..

There was only ever one table next to us too.. In Lumiere's we were a table next to the dance floor/entrance way, we had a pillar behind us and to our right there was a pathway. So only one table neighbor about two feet away.

In Carioca's again we were the table at the end of the center walkway floor, the only table close to us was directly behind us and a pathway on either side of us.

And lastly in Animator's Palate, we were basically in the same spot at Lumiere's with a pillar behind us and a pathway to our right, entrance/center walkway in front of us and one single table a couple feet to our left with another couple at it.

Honestly there were more tables near us at Palo during brunch, there we had a table on either side of us with families/couples at them.

 

[Pens Fan]

More intimate than other families you don't know sitting at the exact same table as you, taking part in conversations, and sharing condiments with one another..

There was only ever one table next to us too.. In Lumiere's we were a table next to the dance floor/entrance way, we had a pillar behind us and to our right there was a pathway. So only one table neighbor about two feet away.

In Carioca's again we were the table at the end of the center walkway floor, the only table close to us was directly behind us and a pathway on either side of us.

And lastly in Animator's Palate, we were basically in the same spot at Lumiere's with a pillar behind us and a pathway to our right, entrance/center walkway in front of us and one single table a couple feet to our left with another couple at it.

Honestly there were more tables near us at Palo during brunch, there we had a table on either side of us with families/couples at them.

I agree with completely. I've never really bought into the theory that the tables are so close you might as well sit together. Like you, I don't recall ever having a table "6 inches apart" from me. There often is a pillar, a serving station, something there. Even if there isn't it's not as if the tables are so close we ever felt compelled to make conversations with the people at the next table throughout the meal. Maybe a polite word or two as you're settling in, but that's it. It's nothing at all like being at the same table where it is expected for everyone to make polite conversation every night. I just have no desire to do that. It's not why we cruise. When we go to a restaurant on land they don't seat us with others (well, for the most part anyway - I know there are some family style restaurants that do). Why would we want to do that on a cruise?

More and more cruise lines are getting away from this with the Freestyle/My Time/Any Time/(insert your fancy dining term here) dining plans. I mentioned this earlier in this thread, but I'll say it again. Disney offers it's concierge customers the "perk" of having their own table. Supposedly you have to actually request to be seated with others if that's your preference. To me that's Disney acknowledging that the majority of their customers prefer this. Otherwise why offer it as a bonus for staying in concierge?

We aren't introverts, far from it! We entertain frequently (though we control who sits at our table - not some random person assigned by a cruise line ), but while on vacation we cherish the time we spend together as a family. We meet people throughout our trips along the way and throughly enjoy that if it happens naturally during the coarse of the trip, but we don't want if forced down our throat. I'm glad it works out for some people. That's great! Really. But it's certainly no character flaw if you simply want to hang out with your family at dinner on vacation and not be forced to make small talk with strangers.

 

[Jillpie]

This whole thread is fascinating to me, and revealing. So I wonder if there are others like me. I happen to be an extrovert, very much so. Because I love to talk to people, I can pretty much talk to anyone and love it. Now, my husband and I are going on a 7 day this Spring, and I'm so petrified we'd get "duds" to sit with us, I called DCL today and asked to sit by ourselves. But a big part of me says I'm making a huge mistake because our past cruises, were so much fun at dinners (granted our kids were with us, which made it a great time every night, my sister and also fellow Disers), but this time we're by ourselves. I'm so torn!

 

[RedSox68]

In all our cruises, including 10 on Disney, I don't ever remember dining room tables being closer than maybe a couple of feet, if that. Always enough room for the servers to move around, but not close enough that we felt like we were sitting with them.

 

[Disney_Princess83]

Wow, I'm just shocked at the negativity here. Never once has anyone at our table pried into our private lives and if they did, I'd politely deflect and change the subject. You're on a ship with thousands of people and you don't want anyone to talk to you or your children? I'm not saying that you have to constantly converse with your tablemates or become life long friends. I view travel as a way of exposing yourself to people of all different cultures.

I love talking to people, I made a career out of it. I love meeting people from all around the world. I've met people on the cruises that I have become friends with (at least on social media). However at dinner, I find it frustrating to make small talk with people when usually all I want to do is eat and leave. I usually end up with people wanting free advice or they start giving me their life stories. I've also had people actually uncomfortable because they think I'm analysing them (and yes I've literally had people ask me if I'm sitting there analysing them -I'm not) While I'm happy to chat to people about where I'm from and what I do, I'm not offering people free psychological or medical advice given that I barely know them and it could quite likely be wrong given this isn't a proper session and/or assessment.

 

[RedSox68]

We are very social around the ship, making small talk with crew and passengers, etc. But as many PPs have said, when our dinner comes around, we just like it to be family. Sitting and socializing at dinner should never be a "part of the experience" or "required" -- it should be an individual choice. I don't think that's negative thinking at all.

If socializing at dinner with a table of other passengers is all part of your travel experience and something you desire, then it will certainly be a positive experience for you. To the others who do not feel that that experience enhances the cruise experience in any way, then that is their desired choice. It's your vacation, it's family time, you paid for it, no one should judge you for wanting a certain criteria at dinner.

 

[carolina_yankee]

I'm introvert (but a socialized extrovert because of my job) so I understand the discomfort with shared tables. It's a reason I don't like to dine at Oktoberfest in Germany at Epcot. I see a cruise a bit differently, though. There's a camaraderie that emerges from being in a closed social system for a week, and I expect to get to know people a bit more. Then again, I also have European parents for whom sitting at shared tables outside the home is not unusual, and I go on retreats where I share meals with strangers, so I have a default social setting that kicks in. We're all Disney fans on the ship, so it's easy to find common ground and carry a social conversation. No deep sharing needed or expected.

Where I'm much more aligned with those who want private tables is anxiety over how we would be matched up. As a childless gay couple, we are quite used to being on the "fifth wheel" when seated with families and would not want that experience for a cruise. Seated with other adults of a similar age would be fine.

Ironically, we've never been paired with strangers on a Disney cruise. On our first cruise, we meet a couple online here on the DIS. Bonded over where to find good wine in S. Martin. We decided to link our table seating and it was done. Now, there was some residual anxiety. Turns out he was former military working for the police. Yikes! What did we as a gay couple get into with a likely conservative?! She was former Baptist turned Wiccan. Yikes, she thought. What did my husband do to me by putting us with two Christian clergy?! We all met on the night before the cruise and have been good Disney friends for 11 years, meeting up most times we go down to Disney (they lived in FL).

Second cruise, an online couple I knew happened to book the same cruise we were on, so we linked dining reservations and finally met in person. Have been friends ever since. Last cruise, we arranged with college friends, so we all knew each other fairly well. Next cruise, linked with friends from 2nd cruise we only see online and very rarely in person.

I get that families have family dining time and it's important to them, and vacation may well be the only time they dine as a family. There are also people who like the social aspect of cruising, or at least understand that good can come from it (i'm in the latter category). Disney needs to accommodate both. Even as an introvert, I would feel very isolated if it was just my partner and I on the ship with no meaningful interaction with somebody else. For us, that would be meal times as we don't club. It's just part of being a group, which I see a cruise to be.

Dirk

 

[cadien]

We're all Disney fans on the ship, so it's easy to find common ground and carry a social conversation. No deep sharing needed or expected.

Well... some of us are just parents or grandparents of Disney fans. Hopefully that won't be held against us by our tablemates!

 

[Pooh2]

I love talking to people, I made a career out of it. I love meeting people from all around the world. I've met people on the cruises that I have become friends with (at least on social media). However at dinner, I find it frustrating to make small talk with people when usually all I want to do is eat and leave. I usually end up with people wanting free advice or they start giving me their life stories. I've also had people actually uncomfortable because they think I'm analysing them (and yes I've literally had people ask me if I'm sitting there analysing them -I'm not) While I'm happy to chat to people about where I'm from and what I do, I'm not offering people free psychological or medical advice given that I barely know them and it could quite likely be wrong given this isn't a proper session and/or assessment.

My daughter is a Physical Therapist and without fail at parties is asked for diagnoses and exercise programs! Now when asked what she does for a living, she will give a vague "I am a consultant in the medical field".

 

[Aerin75]

This whole thread is fascinating to me, and revealing. So I wonder if there are others like me. I happen to be an extrovert, very much so. Because I love to talk to people, I can pretty much talk to anyone and love it. Now, my husband and I are going on a 7 day this Spring, and I'm so petrified we'd get "duds" to sit with us, I called DCL today and asked to sit by ourselves. But a big part of me says I'm making a huge mistake because our past cruises, were so much fun at dinners (granted our kids were with us, which made it a great time every night, my sister and also fellow Disers), but this time we're by ourselves. I'm so torn!

I'm finding the different perspectives fascinating as well. I haven't cruised before, so it's all a new experience. I am also an introvert, but one of the things that drew me to Disney cruises, aside from being a Disney fan, is the classic dining experience. So I'm a little apprehensive of being seated with strangers and having a bad experience, but I'm excited by the possibility of having good experience.

 

[kaseyC]

You're on a ship with thousands of people and you don't want anyone to talk to you or your children?

Oh, please. No one on this thread stated that. Some people just prefer to dine with their family. There is nothing wrong with it. You're on a ship with thousands of people and there are plenty of opportunities to socialize besides dinner.

 

[RedStars]

This thread reminded me to call and ask for private table. Biergarten was my own personal hell.

 

[little_orange_bird]

This thread reminded me to call and ask for private table. Biergarten was my own personal hell.

I had to chuckle at this because I'm sure my reaction would be exactly the same. Our last cruise we had a private table, and this cruise we requested one as well. I am an introvert and the thought of having to make small talk at meals on vacation is more than I can bear. I talk to people 7 hours a day five days a week. Having to be extroverted on a cruise would not be a vacation- it would be draining and exhausting!

 

[carolina_yankee]

I'm finding the different perspectives fascinating as well. I haven't cruised before, so it's all a new experience. I am also an introvert, but one of the things that drew me to Disney cruises, aside from being a Disney fan, is the classic dining experience. So I'm a little apprehensive of being seated with strangers and having a bad experience, but I'm excited by the possibility of having good experience.

If you do find yourself at a table where you're not comfortable, you can ask the head waiter to re-assign you. It's not always possible, but they will try their best. Disney can be very flexible if it makes a difference to a guest.

Another thing to remember is that you do not have to dine with your table mates every night. On our first cruise, we each had our own separate Palo nights, and the 2nd, Remy (though we did combine Palo nights because we had become friends at that point). So, we got a couple nights off from each other on those cruises.

I think the way American culture has changed since WWII, concepts like classic dining are fading away. We try to get away from people, not connect more deeply - even at a social level. Ironic considering how we're all strangers chatting on the internet.

Dirk

 

[Amandine]

I think the way American culture has changed since WWII, concepts like classic dining are fading away. We try to get away from people, not connect more deeply - even at a social level. Ironic considering how we're all strangers chatting on the internet.

Dirk

I actually prefer a private table with my family *because* I want to connect more deeply. This will be our first ever vacation with extended family from both sides -- all 5 kids plus both sets of grandparents. It's especially precious to me because we nearly lost my dad to a heart attack and we're celebrating still having him with us. We'll often split up during the days, I'm sure, but come together in the evenings for meals. It is a blessing beyond measure and I very much look forward to it.