Genuinely curious about wanting a private table

[rootheday]

I am delighted to see all the posts from other introverts on this thread. Society would have us believe that there were not so many of us, and that we are the odd ones for needing quiet time. I am also one of those people who would feel anxiety during the entire dinner if I was seated with someone that I didn't know. I often feel on edge to begin with, and the presence of someone that I didn't know and had to try to make small talk with, would make me want to skip dinner every night. Vacation is the one time that I want to be able to relax, and what is relaxing to some people isn't relaxing for me at all.

I wonder if cruise ships will start to re-think the whole assigning strangers with other strangers in the dining rooms, I don't think it's the preference of most people. It seems to be an outdated custom.

 

[kaseyC]

Maybe it would be a good idea to not be specific about where you work?

You're kidding, right? Why should he have to hide where he works to enjoy a peaceful dinner?

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I am delighted to see all the posts from other introverts on this thread. Society would have us believe that there were not so many of us, and that we are the odd ones for needing quiet time. I am also one of those people who would feel anxiety during the entire dinner if I was seated with someone that I didn't know. I often feel on edge to begin with, and the presence of someone that I didn't know and had to try to make small talk with, would make me want to skip dinner every night. Vacation is the one time that I want to be able to relax, and what is relaxing to some people isn't relaxing for me at all.

I wonder if cruise ships will start to re-think the whole assigning strangers with other strangers in the dining rooms, I don't think it's the preference of most people. It seems to be an outdated custom.

Well, when leisure cruising started that's how dining was - large tables and you were assigned to dine with others. Sometimes even assigned to the Captain's table. It's only in recent years that people have developed into "I want my own table" people.

As noted, dining rooms onboard ships are a finite space, and the more smaller tables you have the less space between them. There are cruise lines that let you select the table size you want when you make your reservation. DCL just doesn't do it as a matter of routine.

 

[RedSox68]

I know you said "other than Cabanas" but that's what Cabanas is for dinner. Not a buffet, a sit down table service, dinner only venue.

Maybe it would be a good idea to not be specific about where you work?

It's been a while -- didn't know they had sit down still at Cabanas. Thanks.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

You're kidding, right? Why should he have to hide where he works to enjoy a peaceful dinner?

We've dined with plenty of people who were not specific about WHERE they worked, but did mention what kind of work they did. I don't think it's off putting if someone decides not to give me that information.

A simple "I don't like to think about work when on vacation" suffices.

 

[2015Cruiser]

Why is it that extroverts are always trying to convert or convince introverts to change? There's nothing wrong with being either..

"and it's fun to hear NEW experiences, new ideas, and deal with new personalities" not for me

"Isn't it also a great opportunity to meet new people though? To learn about others?" no thanks

Like many have said, if you feel like making new friends or chatting up strangers with small talk, there's about a million opportunities to do that all around the ship.. I'd prefer having a meal with my family.

 

[2golftoday]

We're going on our first cruise in June 2018. How many people are usually assigned to a table? Also, how do you request a table for your family? There are 5 of us.

 

[rootheday]

Well, when leisure cruising started that's how dining was - large tables and you were assigned to dine with others. Sometimes even assigned to the Captain's table. It's only in recent years that people have developed into "I want my own table" people.

As noted, dining rooms onboard ships are a finite space, and the more smaller tables you have the less space between them. There are cruise lines that let you select the table size you want when you make your reservation. DCL just doesn't do it as a matter of routine.

I agree that it is a more recent trend, people wanting the smaller tables for just their families. Some of it may have to do with introversion, but it also sounds like much of it is just the pace of life today, and people's schedules are so crammed, not to mention that they are always connected online at work and at home. People seem to have extra demands on them that might not have existed with our parents generations, who had more defined boundaries between work and home life. For me personally it's about my own anxiety and feeling like I'm performing and analyzing everything I say when I talk to strangers. But I sense others may just feel they have too many demands on their time and their resources.

I also notice many people don't seem to mind if a restaurant uses small tables that are relatively close together. I think that if they feel they have their own personal space, and have the choice whether or not to speak to people at a nearby table, they may engage on their own without feeling the pressure to do so.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

We're going on our first cruise in June 2018. How many people are usually assigned to a table? Also, how do you request a table for your family? There are 5 of us.

Each serving team serves a 4 top, a 6 top and an 8 top. As a party of 5 your chances of being assigned to your own table are fairly good. But, you can call DCL and have the request to be seated alone placed on your reservation.

 

[because]

There are cruise lines that let you select the table size you want when you make your reservation. DCL just doesn't do it as a matter of routine.

And that is the main reason we prefer the other cruise lines that make it easier to dine as you please. It is that important to us.

We've dined with plenty of people who were not specific about WHERE they worked, but did mention what kind of work they did. I don't think it's off putting if someone decides not to give me that information.

A simple "I don't like to think about work when on vacation" suffices.

Maybe you don't think it is off putting if someone is vague about their personal life but you would be the exception. More often than not, you get labeled as being rude for being vague and preventing the strangers at your table the opportunity to "learn about new places and people" or to be friends. Many times the strangers also see it as a challenge then to dig out the information which gets tiresome.

We are extroverts. We love people and talking with people. That is why we feel there are plenty of situations to meet others throughout the day. But we want it on our terms, not forced by an artificial situation. Our meal time is family time, period.

Someone up thread said that their tablemates were rude people because they made no effort to interact with them. We would be that family. We are not rude, it is just not our responsibility to engage you just because you are sitting at the same table. It is better for you (global you) that we request a private table since we probably would not meet the expectations of people who do enjoy sharing a table. It has to be a mutually enjoyed experience. If one family does not enjoy dining with strangers, both families will suffer.

You seem convinced that everyone should love shared dining. We do not as apparently many don't as evidenced by this thread.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

And that is the main reason we prefer the other cruise lines that make it easier to dine as you please. It is that important to us.

Maybe you don't think it is off putting if someone is vague about their personal life but you would be the exception. More often than not, you get labeled as being rude for being vague and preventing the strangers at your table the opportunity to "learn about new places and people" or to be friends. Many times the strangers also see it as a challenge then to dig out the information which gets tiresome.

We are extroverts. We love people and talking with people. That is why we feel there are plenty of situations to meet others throughout the day. But we want it on our terms, not forced by an artificial situation. Our meal time is family time, period.

Someone up thread said that their tablemates were rude people because they made no effort to interact with them. We would be that family. We are not rude, it is just not our responsibility to engage you just because you are sitting at the same table. It is better for you (global you) that we request a private table since we probably would not meet the expectations of people who do enjoy sharing a table. It has to be a mutually enjoyed experience. If one family does not enjoy dining with strangers, both families will suffer.

You seem convinced that everyone should love shared dining. We do not as apparently many don't as evidenced by this thread.

That's a wrong assumption. I just put my view on the subject out there. I totally agree that everyone should do as feels comfortable to them.

I also believe it's possible to have conversations with people that don't involve "personal information".

Mealtimes have long been set forth as social gatherings. Whether you want your "social group" to be only those you already know or new people, that's up to you.

 

[kaseyC]

We've dined with plenty of people who were not specific about WHERE they worked, but did mention what kind of work they did. I don't think it's off putting if someone decides not to give me that information.

A simple "I don't like to think about work when on vacation" suffices.

I'm glad to hear that works for YOU. Not everyone has the same experience. Some people will find it off putting and rude if you don't share WHAT you do and WHERE you work. Some find dining with only family works for them while leaving the socializing for other places through out the ship. And that's fine too.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

I'm glad to hear that works for YOU. Not everyone has the same experience. Some people will find it off putting and rude if you don't share WHAT you do and WHERE you work. Some find dining with only family works for them while leaving the socializing for other places through out the ship. And that's fine too.

I find it uncomfortable to approach other (new) people randomly. Like in bars/lounges, I don't seek out to sit with others. Or on deck, I'm not likely to start up conversations with the person sitting in the lounge chair next to me. But at dinnertime, with assigned tablemates, it works.

As I say - to each their own. If someone asks whether to ask for tables for just their party, or "take a chance" on tablemates, I just put my experience/opinion on here. Not saying my experience is the only/best choice.

 

[MUN]

Maybe it would be a good idea to not be specific about where you work?

When people ask me what I do, I just say "a little of this, a little of that".

MUN

 

[2golftoday]

Each serving team serves a 4 top, a 6 top and an 8 top. As a party of 5 your chances of being assigned to your own table are fairly good. But, you can call DCL and have the request to be seated alone placed on your reservation.

Thank you!

 

[tink1970]

DH and I are both physicians and we avoid mentioning what we do (or in my case did) when we are around new people. Happily I no longer practice and he is retired military so we can both honestly say "retired" which is sort of boring to most people If pressed I say "spend my husband's money" which is so obnoxious there usually isn't a reply to that!

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

I think a lot of people do enjoy sitting with others, but we would rather not. DH spends a lot of time taking clients to meals for work and he wants a break from that. He doesn't want to have to "be on" during dinner. Our kids spend a lot of time in the kids club so we really want to visit and goof off with them during the meal. We just want to spend time with each other while we are on vacation.

 

[keaster]

We are a family of three. We have been put together with another family of three on 2 out of our 7 DCL cruises and have had no issues. In fact on one of them, the other family only dined in the dining room maybe 3 nights (on a seven night cruise). The other times we've ended up with our own table without requesting it.

We did a Princess cruise years ago (just DH and I) and were put at a table with two other couples. Turned out we were all from Canada and had great conversations every night! Also one of the couples was super into all the activities and we looked forward to dinner every night as the husband would show up with a new medal he won at the pool...and at the end of the cruise he wore all his medals like an Olympic champ

 

[Kervisk]

I know you said "other than Cabanas" but that's what Cabanas is for dinner. Not a buffet, a sit down table service, dinner only venue.

Maybe it would be a good idea to not be specific about where you work?

I usually am not but when the server says oh you work for Disney "noted on the ressie" or the table mates see me in the store buying something with my discount the cats out of the bag.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

Some interesting points of view here. I certainly understand the desire for some family time. Isn't it also a great opportunity to meet new people though? To learn about others?

Sure, if that is what you want to do. But not everyone wants to do the same thing. If you don't drink alcohol, then a wine tasting is not what you want to do on the cruise even though it is great opportunity to learn about different wines. If you don't like hiking, then an excursion involving a long hike is a bad idea even though it is a great opportunity to see something historically significant. You don't have to take advantage of every opportunity on a vacation.

I can see why some people really enjoy sharing a table, especially if the match is good. It's just not what my family enjoys on vacation. I think it's OK that we're like this. We do understand that the request for a separate table can't always be accommodated, and we're OK with that too.