Do you take pictures of the deceased laying in the coffin?

[sjsjbrook]

I would never take a photo. I like others have issues with open caskets as well.

I couldn't imagine how it would feel to have someone snap a photo at a time when you are already emotionally fragile and then to have a photo arrive to your house years later. Your poor children.

I did have a friend when I was 9, who showed me photos of her fathers funeral and him in the casket. They were the only photos she had and he had died when she was a baby. I remember thinking then how wierd that was.

 

[figment3258]

For me personally i could never do that. Its a memory that I would not want to remember. My dad died when I was 14 and I remember how different he looked and that scared me I knew it was no longer him.

 

[TIGGERmetoo]

Both my Mom and Dad's side of the family do this. (both from Missouri-maybe a regional thing) I thought it was very strange the 1st time I saw this (I think I was in high school then). Since then I have taken pictures of my mother and father and mother-in-law at their funerals.

 

[LMO429]

I have to go back and read this thread. I just saw the thread topic and the poll.

But I have never even heard of this until now.

to each their own but this is a huge no thank you for me. i respect how each individual deals with grief but taking a picture personally would seriously upset me.

 

[dalt01]

eewww!?!?!

 

[Sarabi's Cubs]

My grandmother had the funeral director take pictures of my grandfather in the coffin. I found them disturbing, not the way I wanted to remember him, but it was important to her. Everyone grieves in their own way.

 

[nexttripdisney]

Wow, I have a black and white from 1928 of my grandmother (age 19) lying in an open coffin on the sidewalk in front of the church.

All of the attendees (including my 17 month old father being held by his own father) are behind the coffin.

Although it is morbid, I feel strongly that it is family history.

I would NEVER take a photo like that today.

I think the one I have is acceptable because it was traditional at the time.

 

[Quicklabs]

I couldn't do it, but this is a huge part of the South Side Chicago Polish culture. At my aunt's funeral, people even posed with her. The first time I saw that, I was unnerved by it, but again, it's a common cultural practice where I was raised.

 

[mrzrich]

I believe it is a common practice in some other cultures. My roommate in college was from Poland. Her Dad died when she was 3. On her desk she kept a framed picture of her (3 years old) standing next to her Dad in his coffin. I thought the fact that she kept the picture out on her desk 17 years later pretty creepy, but I guess it was important to her.

I couldn't do it, but this is a huge part of the South Side Chicago Polish culture. At my aunt's funeral, people even posed with her. The first time I saw that, I was unnerved by it, but again, it's a common cultural practice where I was raised.

Ok, so this jives with my previous post. My roommate was from Poland.

 

[hmonkeyruns]

This is not at all common in my family (unheard of, really) with one exception. Nearly 20 years ago my brother & wife had a full term stillborn daughter. She was their first child. It was one of the most awful experiences I've ever encountered.

After the delivery, the nurses encouraged everyone there to see and hold the baby. They also said it was important to dress her in the outfit they brought to the hospital for her to wear and to take a few photos. We were all shocked but they said it would be important for them to have as part of their grieving and healing - to see her as a baby and love her as a real being not just as the idea of her.

They took the photos, and I've never looked at them after that day, but I'm pretty sure that my brother and his wife did.

 

[mefordis]

It is an old southern tradition. Probably not practiced much today.

NO!

And it is not a southern thing, I live in GA and I have never seen it done...... Sounds super wierd to me.

 

[safetymom]

In my case we lived up North and none of the family had ever lived in the South.

 

[TSWJan78]

I agree with many of you.. to each their own but not for me. Kathy, I would be rather upset if someone came and started snapping photos at the funeral and did not ask me if it was OK if it was my husband, parent or child.

We were at a memorial service once where there was no coffin just an urn of a girl in her early 20’s. She had a son who was under 1 and they decided to video tape the service so he could see what people said about his mom as he got older. It was mainly friends and family telling stories and her mom and a pastor leading people in prayer type events. I will say it was the oddest service I have ever been to but who am I to define how people grieve and remember.

 

[PeterPan09]

I am asking because when my husband died 2 family members took pictures of him in the casket. We were standing right there when they did it. It upset my kids at the time. I wish they had asked or waited until we left the room.

Fast forward to recently. We received a gift from the funeral we should have gotten years ago. In the Bible were pictures of my late husband. My daughter opened the box and saw them. She was upset to see them.

I haven't looked at them since I prefer to remember him as he was in life. The pictures weren't taken to show someone that wasn't there, bring closure for anyone that I know of.

That would have made me FURIOUS and that camera probably would have ended up somewhere the sun doesn't shine.

I'm sorry someone did that to you and your family and I'm really sorry they felt the need to send those pictures to you. I would have been very upset to see something like that. I also want to remember my loved ones as they were in the best parts of their lives.

I remember seeing pictures like that in my grandmother's attic when I was a kid but I didn't know anyone still did it.

 

[Royal Duke of Epcot]

Hell no. If it happened at a funeral of someone I was closer to than the photographer, fists would fly.

If I were not in position to argue, i'd still think its very disturbing.

I've been to more funerals than I care to remember, and not even once for one millisecond did i think the body looked "beautiful" or "peaceful" like some people are mentioning. i think the person in the casket would cry if they saw how nasty and "un-like" themselves they look...its bad enough to see it in person, why on earth would you want to document that?

 

[Jennygt]

I agree that this is a little creepy, I have however have seen it done here in the North (nj) but is was done by people from other cultures, Phillipino. I even remember a video camera and people posing with the body. I work in an ICU and I have seen people take pictures of the body in the hospital bed. It is still very strange to me and I would not want to ever see such a picture of my family. I think it is a cultural thing.

 

[IWISHFORDISNEY]

No not us. Only once have we done this. My neice(4) was killed by a drunk driver and the psychologist told us to take one of the baby so my SIL would beleive she had passed. She herself was in a coma in critical condition and could not attend the funeral. Otherwise we would have never done it.

 

[crazy4stitch]

Umm... No

 

[knewton64]

should speak for themselves on this question.



T.T.F.N.

 

[Dian-er]

I can't imagine doing that. Never saw done,ever, but I guess it's a matter of custom. Be hard to do now that many are cremated.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, know how it would have upset me, especially to get the pictures later like that. Ick!!!!