Do You Consider Yourself a Feminist?

[Searc]

Both are a life. There are extreme circumstances in everything.

Didn't you say more than once earlier in the thread you didn't want to discuss extremes?

 

[Searc]

I know we've all had our heartstrings tugged by some of the experiences and stories shared in this thread. However, they are the exception and not the rule. The average person is just that - average. He/She goes through life just trying to make it through each day, hopefully finding someone to share this life journey with, and generally just trying to be a decent person. Yet there seems to be this skewed "reality" : that huge swaths of the population are trying to oppress other persons / classes / sexes. To those people, here's a truth bomb for you - you're not that important. Most people are so busy just living their day-to-day life that they don't have the time, inclination, or effort to care whether they lift you up or put you down. As a decent person I will try to help those that need and ask for help, show kindness and respect to all, and try in my small ways to leave the world maybe a little better after I am gone. I will treat you as fairly as you treat me.

Regarding the bolded ~ as a woman, it is not perception. It is OUR reality. Not yours, as a man. WOMEN'S REALITY. You mansplaining it, well, that makes you look even more condescending than you not believing reality.

 

[Searc]

Actually, that was my point. Honestly, I couldn't care less about Ted Bundy's mother's feelings. My point was you can't cry, "life begins a conception! All lives are valuable! All lives should be saved! and then say, "oh, except for...." (though I am anti-death penalty, TBH) It is ridiculous. Either life begins at conception and you don't have the right to take it, or it doesn't.

I am very familiar with the 3rd world and Sharia law. Although, with the climate of this particular website, and the fallout I will, probably receive, I will admit that I am married to a Middle Eastern, Muslim man. I understand, very well, the subjugation of women in these countries and their lack of choice over their own lives and their bodies, which is why I choose to set the American bar way above Sharia law.

The funny thing is, there are many people who will cry and damn Sharia law and it's treatment of women based on a theocracy (as well they should) but when those same laws are now being applied in the United States they back them wholeheartedly. Abortion ban is based on religious beliefs. It isn't scientific. Life begins at conception is a religious belief, not a scientific one.

My point here, is that people are using personal anecdotes that are extreme outliers instead of actual statistics and the statistics they are trying to use are half-truths. If you want to include outliers such as the 1 in I-don't know-how-many cases where the doctor was completely wrong to justify the overturning of a law, there are just as many on the other side, such as people wrongly convicted of crimes.

We, as a world, are woefully overpopulated. We, as a nation, have too many children already, who were unwanted and who had parents who were or are unwilling or unable to care for them. It is a huge burden on our society in many ways. Unfortunately, these issues are cyclical, so the children born of theses parents never learn parenting skills and, in turn, grow up to become the exact, same thing.

I work in the mental health field. I have for many years. Though, I personally, only work with adults, many of these adults end up in the system (which is, also, woefully broken, but that;s a whole new topic) They also end up in the criminal justice system. (also, horribly broken)

My belief is that we make birth control free and easy to get, particularly long term and permanent forms such as IUD, Nexplanon, tubal ligation, and vasectomies. If we educate people and make reproductive health easy to access and affordable then we will reduce the overall number of unwanted pregnancies.

Women who are mentally ill, addicted, who are transient, and, probably not thinking clearly aren't going to buy condoms, or pills or remember to take them or use them. So many studies have shown that when people are educated early on and given access without judgment to birth control and reproductive health and education the rate of unwanted pregnancy and abortion drops. Unfortunately, the people who are banning women's access to abortion are also banning their access to affordable health care. Some states have only 1 or very few Planned Parenthood or free clinics where women can access healthcare. This is because there has been a push by certain interest groups to portray these providers as abortion factories, where, in truth, abortions count for less than 3% of the services provided.

If a woman cannot afford to buy birth control, she cannot afford to travel 3 hours to get it for free. If she is uninsured and can't afford and annual exam, she, probably, also, can't afford to travel for hours to get it. Same with prenatal care. Because of the restricted access to quality, affordable health care for women the maternal death rate in the United States is rising. It is the highest of any developed nation on the globe, and in some states it is higher than in some 3rd world countries.


There has been an attitude that, "If it isn't my experience, it didn't happen."

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but this seems like the right thread to tell this story again.

I do very poorly when my hormones are messed with and learned the hard way — suicidal visions along with a whole host of other symptoms — that I cannot tolerate hormonal birth control. It is just NOT an option for me and is not a risk I’m willing to take. As such, I had an IUD for many years. When my OB/GYN found out about it (it had been placed by another doctor), he told me “I wouldn’t have placed an IUD for you because you’re in your prime childbearing years.” Which is the exact bleeping reason I needed and wanted it in the first place!

So, even if a woman has the means of getting to a doctor, there’s still no guarantee she’ll be able to access the birth control she needs.

 

[kaytieeldr]

You must be referring to me since you quoted me and that would make your assumptions wrong again.

But it is interesting how many anti life people do not support the death penalty.

It appears there are still people who do not understand the concept or reality of things' opposites and words' antonyms.
Again,

• The opposite of pro-choice is anti-choice, or else pro-you don't have any say.
• The opposite of pro-life is anti-life, or else pro-death.
• Pro-choice isn't - simply cannot be - the opposite of anti-life.
• Common sense and simple definitions.

 

[LSUmiss]

Do many women get IVF and choose abortion? And not for the health of the mother or child, we have been over that.

No but many women who do IVF have embryos that may need to be destroyed.

 

[LSUmiss]

Also the case that extra frozen embryos after a successful implantation can be destroyed with no oversight.

For now, some of these states maybe working on limiting these rights too.

 

[Bianca and Bernard]

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but this seems like the right thread to tell this story again.

I do very poorly when my hormones are messed with and learned the hard way — suicidal visions along with a whole host of other symptoms — that I cannot tolerate hormonal birth control. It is just NOT an option for me and is not a risk I’m willing to take. As such, I had an IUD for many years. When my OB/GYN found out about it (it had been placed by another doctor), he told me “I wouldn’t have placed an IUD for you because you’re in your prime childbearing years.” Which is the exact bleeping reason I needed and wanted it in the first place!

So, even if a woman has the means of getting to a doctor, there’s still no guarantee she’ll be able to access the birth control she needs.

Oh, that makes me angry!

DD#2 was on BCP and had a very bad time with them. They moved her onto the arm thing and she was ok except she gained a ton of weight (like went up 3 sizes in a month). Got that removed, and she went back down a size in about a month. (Which is great because she was very underweight prior). But oh, did she have to fight the doctor on changing things. After they had DGS, SoIL went and got a vas; they decided they were one and done.

Not all birth control works for all people. Both my girls were 'pill babies'; I blame the ER doc and the pharmacist for DD#1...I had a severe ear infection, strep and....jeez, something else that I just can't remember...and the doc put me on antibiotics. Both had my records and saw I was on BCP; neither mentioned that sometimes those things don't work right with antibiotics! DD#2 was just a total fail, IDK what happened. I was on time every single day, within 30 minutes. /sigh The Norplant thing worked great for me, though!

 

[kaytieeldr]

They are working towards a male "pill"

It's taken almost SIXTY YEARS and it's still i trial.

If/when a viable Male birth control is found, should it also be free and available to all ?

Absolutely.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Both had my records and saw I was on BCP; neither mentioned that sometimes those things don't work right with antibiotics! DD#2 was just a total fail, IDK what happened. I was on time every single day, within 30 minutes. /sigh The Norplant thing worked great for me, though!

Well that's crappy of them not to disclose anything.

When I first got on the pill (though I'm not on it now) I was 16 and did it to help regulate my period and ease the symptoms (by that time I was missing school every now and then because of my periods). Anywho that was one of the main things they cautioned on--if using antibiotics to use backup protection (i.e. condoms) as the antibiotics interact with the birth contol and can make it less effective.

And everytime I've been to the doctos (including urgent care) they asked/ask if I'm on any medication which at that time I would advise birth control pill and allergy medicine (though at that time I was taking OTC rather than prescription allergy medicine I took when I was a younger kid).

 

[luvmy2boyzz]

Registering for the draft? Not sure if that is what it is still called...but I sure as hell didn't have to do it "because I am a woman".

Would love for it to be mandatory across the board, or volunteer-only. Why are only men "forced"?

It is called selective service now and both my boys had to register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. They still only require males to register.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Sounds as if you blame all men for legislation you don’t like?

Most legislators are men. Women make up only 26% or less of a combination of US and state legislations. Women represent 0% of United States Presidents historically. Four oc 113 Supreme Court Justices have been female.

 

[kimblebee]

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but this seems like the right thread to tell this story again.

I do very poorly when my hormones are messed with and learned the hard way — suicidal visions along with a whole host of other symptoms — that I cannot tolerate hormonal birth control. It is just NOT an option for me and is not a risk I’m willing to take. As such, I had an IUD for many years. When my OB/GYN found out about it (it had been placed by another doctor), he told me “I wouldn’t have placed an IUD for you because you’re in your prime childbearing years.” Which is the exact bleeping reason I needed and wanted it in the first place!

So, even if a woman has the means of getting to a doctor, there’s still no guarantee she’ll be able to access the birth control she needs.

I was around 32 when I started asking my ob/gyn for a hysterectomy because I was having debilitating periods and knew I was done having kids. My dr told me no because ‘you might change your mind’. Knowing what I know now, I wish I would have been more insistent instead of letting the dr tell me no for that reason.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Oh, that makes me angry!

DD#2 was on BCP and had a very bad time with them. They moved her onto the arm thing and she was ok except she gained a ton of weight (like went up 3 sizes in a month). Got that removed, and she went back down a size in about a month. (Which is great because she was very underweight prior). But oh, did she have to fight the doctor on changing things. After they had DGS, SoIL went and got a vas; they decided they were one and done.

Not all birth control works for all people. Both my girls were 'pill babies'; I blame the ER doc and the pharmacist for DD#1...I had a severe ear infection, strep and....jeez, something else that I just can't remember...and the doc put me on antibiotics. Both had my records and saw I was on BCP; neither mentioned that sometimes those things don't work right with antibiotics! DD#2 was just a total fail, IDK what happened. I was on time every single day, within 30 minutes. /sigh The Norplant thing worked great for me, though!

One of my close friends got pregnant in high school because her doctor didn’t warn her about the antibiotics with her birth control.

I also worked with a woman who, in her early twenties, was so riddled with and debilitated by endometriosis that she was missing more work than she was able to attend and was begging doctors for a hysterectomy. She had no desire to ever have children, let alone the fact that her uterus was so damaged it would probably never allow for that anyway, and she just desperately wanted to be able to live a normal, pain-free life again. Not a single doctor would agree to the hysterectomy because they felt she was too young to make that decision for herself. One did offer, however, to sever the nerves around her uterus so she couldn’t feel the pain while the disease continued to rage, although there was a chance that could leave her incontinent for the rest of her life. Ultimately, she quit her job before there was any resolution so I don’t know how it turned out.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

I was around 32 when I started asking my ob/gyn for a hysterectomy because I was having debilitating periods and knew I was done having kids. My dr told me no because ‘you might change your mind’. Knowing what I know now, I wish I would have been more insistent instead of letting the dr tell me no for that reason.

Sorry you had to deal with that. I was posting a similar story at the same time as you.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

Fortunately, this is not how the world works and agencies would screen people who think this way out after one conversation.

I'm not talking about prospective adoptive parents. I'm referring to an unfit biological mother or biological father who wants to be a single parent out of emotion, but feels that the only way to accomplish that is by dragging their former sex partner into forced paternity/maternity...thereby inevitably dragging the child (as she/he grows older) into that dysfunctional mess, as well.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

I’m operating under the model that biological differences mean things won’t always be perfectly equal or “fair” for men or women when it comes to reproductive issues. For men, that might mean not having equal or final say in whether their embryo/fetus is carried to term. Since, you know, they have to rely on someone else to carry it.

I have zero sympathy for other men who want to dictate what happens to a woman's body when she becomes pregnant.

My greater focus is what happens *after* a child is born, to ALL parties involved.

 

[SantaDuffy]

I'm not talking about prospective adoptive parents. I'm referring to an unfit biological mother or biological father who wants to be a single parent out of emotion, but feels that the only way to accomplish that is by dragging their former sex partner into forced paternity/maternity...thereby inevitably dragging the child (as she/he grows older) into that dysfunctional mess, as well.

You are going to get your rear end handed to you for this one, so I don’t need to say much.

Single parents are not inherently dysfunctional. The expectation of financial support from the child’s non-custodial mother or father is not dysfunctional. A child should not be taken from their biological parent and “reassigned” to another family if the mother or father is single.

I will let others take care of the rest.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

It is called selective service now and both my boys had to register within 30 days of their 18th birthday. They still only require males to register.

There should be no draft for anyone, not even on paper as a formality.

In our current culture, the only way the military will work is if it's exclusively composed of men and women who proactively enlist.

 

[Prince_Hawkins]

You are going to get your rear end handed to you for this one, so I don’t need to say much.

Single parents are not inherently dysfunctional. The expectation of financial support from the child’s non-custodial mother or father is not dysfunctional. A child should not be taken from their biological parent and “reassigned” to another family if the mother or father is single.

I will let others take care of the rest.

Did I say ALL single parents are dysfunctional? No, I didn't. You are trying to incite a dogpile against me.

If two single parents of a child don't want to get married and/or share their lives, that doesn't prevent them from being great parents to their child(ren).

However, if one of the biological parents is forcing the other one into that situation, it will only lead to a damaged life for the child-in-question.

This is why EVERYONE should stop and think before they potentially make a baby. But, once the baby is conceived and (at the woman's discretion) born/delivered, family planning doesn't end there. There still needs to be a window of time where a recourse is available to both biological parents equally.