At what age is it no longer appropriate for kids to be pantless when company is over?

[CdnCarrie]

A little off topic but not by much. My husband (2 dads) and I have a 3yo. We go swimming every Sunday. It's at our local gym and we go to the locker room and change into our swim suits and then off we go. Two weeks ago another family was at the pool (father, grandfather, 2 young boys and a 4-5 yo girl) and we finished around the same time. My son and i went to the locker room and the other family came in not too long after us. This is a MENS locker room. I was shocked to see that they brought the 5 yo girl into the locker room. They had her undress in the common area (where all the other men were undressing)which i thought was pretty inappropriate given the fact this is an adult gym, not the YMCA -- so not family orientated. Thoughts? Am I the only one who thinks that was a bizarre move on their part?

Meh. Our public pools have a opposite sex under 7 rule.

 

[VandVsmama]

For a 5 yr old, when there's company over, the kid should wear something on his or her butt other than just underwear. Shorts or pants or SOMETHING.

 

[CarolAnn856]

\This is what it has been like up until this point. I had no issue with my sister asking my daughter not to do/or talk about something around her kids as the is a big age gap (some topics are fine at 9 and not at 3). And that's how it started Dh said "Nephew time for pants buddy, dinner's almost ready."

Then if that's the case, once your nephew's parents got involved is where you should have stepped back.

 

[dakotix]

Where should they have taken her? If I was at the gym with my 4/5 year old son, I wouldn’t send him into the men’s locker room alone to change. Were there private areas?

There were plenty of private areas to take her, even within the Men's locker room. There is a sauna room (which is warm but not hot at all..and very private), bathroom stall, shower stall, a private nook of lockers is also available. Anywhere but where they had her in full display of a locker room full of naked old men.

 

[BLAZEY]

Then if that's the case, once your nephew's parents got involved is where you should have stepped back.

Meh. Our public pools have a opposite sex under 7 rule.

Ours is 6 and under, but all ours now have family/ companion change rooms with private change area and shower for each family.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Other than babies left partially undressed because they're going to be given something really messy to eat, I think everyone ought to be dressed in regular clothes to eat with company.

And when we used to do Sunday dinners at my in-law's, we absolutely expected the kids to listen to the nearest adult - parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle, didn't matter. I would have supported you reminding my kid to put his pants on.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Background: My mother hosted Sunday dinner last night. We ate outside, Mum now lives in a "Grannie Suite" attached to the main house my sister and I grew up in. DSIS and DBIL have bought 1/2 the house from DMUM. Attendees were DMUM, myself, DH, DD9, DAunt, DSIS, DBIL, DNephew5, DNiece3. We were carrying food out to the table and DH notices DNephew had a shirt, and sweatshirt on but no pants or shorts (he was wearing undies) DH asks him to go put shorts on as dinner will be ready soon. He says No, I don't have to. I reply "Your uncle has asked that you go put some shorts or pants on for dinner please go do it." This time DBIL overheard us saying the he needed to put pants on. DBIL agreed and told his son to put pants or shorts on for dinner. He goes upstairs. Comes down 5 minute later, no pants/shorts one. I tell him again, my DSIS is here now and says "he doesn't need to." My reply is DBIL told DNephew to put pants/shorts on." DSIS was a little huffy and said OK. DBIL backed me up and said if they "were at someone else's house he would have to have bottoms on. DSIS said "We're at home." DBIL replied "And there is company over. He is 5 and entering kindergarten in 3 weeks. He needs to learn new things as he's growing up." DSIS is still a bit upset that we (myself,DH, DMUM, DBIL) think that it's not appropriate for DNephew to be pantless at the table.

For the record I don't care what the rules are when it's just the 4 of them, but when company is over, the rules change. DD9 hasn't be less than fully clothed at the table since she was potty fully trained. DNeice 3 was fully clothed.

EDITED: DBIL (The child's father) has at previous occasions told said child to put pants on. EVERYONE else was in dressier clothes (button up shirts, khakis, or dresses)

You and your husband's behaviour was inappropriate. Not your home, not your child. You had no right trying to enforce your values in the situation.

 

[BLAZEY]

You and your husband's behaviour was inappropriate. Not your home, not your child. You had no right trying to enforce your values in the situation.

Not enforcing OUR values, HIS FATHER also told him to put pants on at previous Formal Sunday dinners hosted by DMUM.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

No we went to my mother's house.

This is ridiculous. You were a guest in another's home. It appears to be based on the need for you to have control over what's left of your mother's share of the property.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Not enforcing OUR values, HIS FATHER also told him to put pants on at previous Formal Sunday dinners hosted by DMUM.

His father only told him after you and your husband told him. MYOB.

 

[Allison]

Not enforcing OUR values, HIS FATHER also told him to put pants on at previous Formal Sunday dinners hosted by DMUM.

Then his father could have handled it this time. You and your husband didn't need to step in.

 

[Disneylovingmomof2]

Wow who cares. It’s not like he was peeing right where people were eating or something crazy.

 

[BLAZEY]

Then his father could have handled it this time. You and your husband didn't need to step in.

His father had no issue me correcting, only my sister. He overruled her.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Kids should have pants on for any company IMO, in my house we like to have pants on outside of one's bedroom (I honestly don't judge other people who don't though).

I also have no issue addressing my nieces and I wouldn't have an issue with my inlaws speaking directly to MY children either. I understand that not everyone's families have those types of relationships.

 

[BLAZEY]

Wow who cares. It’s not like he was peeing right where people were eating or something crazy.

That was last month (flower pot 5 feet from the table) Dsis was OK with that too! DBIL WAS Not hence the request at subsequent dinners for pants.

 

[Disneylovingmomof2]

That was last month (flower pot 5 feet from the table) Dsis was OK with that too! DBIL WAS Not hence the request at subsequent dinners for pants.

Sounds like you should stop accepting their dinner invitations.

 

[BLAZEY]

Kids should have pants on for any company IMO, in my house we like to have pants on outside of one's bedroom (I honestly don't judge other people who don't though).

I also have no issue addressing my nieces and I wouldn't have an issue with my inlaws speaking directly to MY children either. I understand that not everyone's families have those types of relationships.

This is how it has been up until this point in our family. Dsis has had a change of heart. I think it may have to do with him having issues at preschool/daycare.

 

[OhDannyBoy]

Who puts pants on?

 

[BLAZEY]

Sounds like you should stop accepting their dinner invitations.

It was DMUM's invite and she has had thought about uninviting them. But its hard to when its on the other side of a 3 foot high fence.

 

[Disneylovingmomof2]

Who puts pants on?

Pants are so overrated