What stresses you out the most during the holidays?

[foodiddiedoo]

Oh bless you! That is stressful!

I have a friend whose daughter’s birthday is the 23rd. Not sure what they did when the child was younger but when she was older, they picked a day between Thanksgiving and Christmas to have a party. All birthday, all day. Christmas decorations didn’t go up until after the party. Not sure if that would work for you with the grandparents but it worked well for them. I think she still did something on the child’s birthday, like open one Christmas gift and a cake.

Funnily enough, the kiddo is the one who wanted the Christmas decorations up the DAY after Thanksgiving. As soon as we got home from our family she asked when we were getting the tree out of the basement. I was actually thinking that when she's old enough to have friend parties we can do them as early as the beginning of December so it's not too close to the holidays and no one will show up. She probably won't mind the Christmas decorations being part of that if it's at home.

 

[luvsJack]

Funnily enough, the kiddo is the one who wanted the Christmas decorations up the DAY after Thanksgiving. As soon as we got home from our family she asked when we were getting the tree out of the basement. I was actually thinking that when she's old enough to have friend parties we can do them as early as the beginning of December so it's not too close to the holidays and no one will show up. She probably won't mind the Christmas decorations being part of that if it's at home.

LOL She likes the Christmas decorations!

Yeah, the friends party was one reason my friend celebrated her child's birthday the way she did. Too many people out of town and having other things going on once it gets too close to Christmas day. and she always said, that way she didn't have to deal with some parts of her family on continuous days! They had the early party and then she had a couple of weeks at least until they had to meet again!

 

[VandVsmama]

What's the thing that usually stresses me out the most during the holidays?

My MIL. It's....

- her expectations that everything be just perfect. Well, nothing is perfect, so she's always disappointed.
- her affected sighing and saying that everything's fine when clearly it's not, but she doesn't have the guts to come out and say it. She keeps everyone guessing. I've chosen to only pay attention now to WHAT she says, not HOW she says it, and I respond in my Suzy Sunshine voice...as a result, much less stress for me. I'm not responsible for her happiness
- her intermittent attention to "manners." Don't put your elbows on the table & only cut your meat a certain way, but it's ok for your other grandchildren to literally lick their plates at the holiday table.
- her all out refusal to call people directly and instead play the game of telephone where her message gets relayed from 1 person to the next. I've stopped participating in that, so that makes things much easier.

And last but not least, the food. On the holidays in which she celebrates w/us instead of travelling to SIL's, DH & I do the cooking because it's too much nowadays for her. But her fretting over the food is really over the top...

• calls both of us starting 3-4 weeks ahead of time asking what time are we going to eat, what are we going to eat, etc.
• wants to know what the meal time is going to be for each meal. Well, breakfast is serve yourself & we have plenty of good options in the kitchen for everyone.
• if Celiac Disease Relative is coming, MIL frets over what CD Relative will eat. Really over the top worrying. Even when MIL is not going to be doing any of the cooking. All that despite our assurances that we know exactly what foods to prepare and what NOT to prepare in order to ensure that CD Relative gets to enjoy a luscious holiday meal that won't make her sick. We handle this buy speaking to CD Relative directly and getting her advice. We now have had practice making meals for people with celiac disease, so we know how not to poison our guests. Yet still MIL frets about it as if SHE is the one hosting.
• attention-seeking behavior about what MIL can't eat since she's diabetic. We always make sure that there are a LOT of diabetic-friendly sides for her and everyone else who is health-conscious. We are not the food police at a holiday meal. It's more about spending time with each other than paying attention to what this person or that person is or is not eating. Yet many many times, MIL goes on and on with her histrionics of "Oh I'm SO sorry I can't have this or that. it's my diabetes!" We really DO NOT CARE if she doesn't eat the potatoes or the stuffing. But the way she carries on about it, you'd think that she was insulting the Queen of England or something.

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

Oh Lord...I am laughing so hard!! Hon, we all lie about that fudge - seriously, who would enjoy it as much if they knew it only took 3 minutes? If they press you any further just have them read this article and tell them making fudge is waaaay to hard for regular people. http://bigbaketheory.com/2011/12/22/the-science-of-fudge/

Now I can just see it. I need to memorize part of that article. When they ask, I will start in...”Glucose and fructose molecules get in the way of sucrose crystallization. If enough glucose and fructose molecules are present, they surround the sucrose molecules, preventing too many sucrose molecules from joining up to make a big crystal. ” I can probably make someone else jump in and change the conversation quickly!!

 

[NYCgrrl]

Waiting for Hanna Andersson's customer reps to stop being busy with other people and answer my last minute" finally all the parents decided what pjs will work best for their children so that Grand Aunt/Grandmother NYCgrrl can move along with her get out of town for the holidays' life" call. Last day of the sale and I'm sure they are earning their pay today.

The kiddos in OZ need short pjs because it's their summer; the NC grandnephew's first choice pjs are already sold out thus his mother and grandmother took forevah to pick a 2nd choice. Thank goodness newest member of that generation is too young (6 months old) to have an opinion. DGD refuses to wear the elf pjs I bought earlier in the year (my oops; 13 y/os do not necessarily wear "baby clothing" until they are old enough to drink their way through Epcot) and I really need to go back in to how hide gifts school. Thankfully, HA has a generous return policy.

The object of all this obsession is an annual holiday Photoshopped pic that makes alll the newest generation appear they are together in locale since upbringing, love and an ability to be sarcastic goes w/o saying.
Guess the "agra" is worth it.

 

[MrsDuck]

Buying gifts that people will actually like!

 

[disneyeveryyear]

Been there, done that. Sending you good wishes.

Before I forget, I want to thank you for the fudge recipe you shared last Christmas. My DH’s extended family freaked! ( you know how to make FUDGE? How do you make fudge? Did you see— she BROUGHT FUDGE! It’s HOMEMADE? OMG I Haven’t ever known anyone who could make fudge. Well, since great grandma so and so.) you would’ve thought I brought bars of gold! So when they asked me how to make it, I kinda fibbed...( I FLATOUT LIED)
“oh, a dear friend from Canada... it’s her family’s secret recipe. She gave it to me but I promised I’d never give it out.”
So again this year, I will make your family’s “secret recipe” and add walnuts to the top. My DH’s Family will gush over it and I will be thinking of you!

OOh, I would love to have the recipe. My mom always made fudge, and I really miss it now that she is gone.

 

[dyna]

Wondering if my body will hold up to make all the Christmas goodies I have bought supplies for.

Just DH an I here. We get out the Charlie Brown tree set it on mantle. I lay garland around mantle. Set Mickey an Minnie on the heath with a couple flower arrangements on the earth with Mickey an Minnie an we are done.

Send out Christmas cards to friends an family who live away....the list is shrinking as I loose one or town relatives a yr it seems

Send DD's an GK's their money.

I don't do much shopping I do have 3 grade schoolers to buy for an
11 month old baby...Got the older kids Old Maid, Crazy 8's an Go Fish and will hide a 10.00 in their cards ...tape it to inside of box see how long it takes them to find it.

My 2 best friends are getting a pecan pie baked fresh by ME other friends an neighbors are getting a box of homemade cookies an fudge.

OH an the 11 month old baby is getting a ball.

1 of my friends is having us over for Christmas eve I think it has been requested that I bring potato salad which is an easy fix for me an yes I do make my own.

Christmas day DH an I will have fried rolled oysters....same dinner we have had for Christmas for 42 yrs

 

[ronandannette]

OOh, I would love to have the recipe. My mom always made fudge, and I really miss it now that she is gone.

It's located here:
Cheapest easiest christmas goodies

 

[disneyeveryyear]

It's located here:
Cheapest easiest christmas goodies

Thanks. I am going to try it and the crock-pot cinnamon pecans

 

[DLgal]

Having house guests for prolonged periods of time. Every year since my kids have been born (so 14 years now), we have had a grandparent/grandparents stay with us for 2 weeks at Christmas. We live across the country from both of them. I hate having house guests because I always feel responsible for making sure they aren't bored, are fed at every meal (which is a huge burden, as our little family typically is very low maintenance about meals...we will do sandwiches, smoothies, or breakfast for dinner routinely, while the grandparents expect a solid 3 hot meals a day). I feel like I am always in the kitchen cooking meals, and we spend a FORTUNE on groceries. I am over it, but I cannot think of a way to stop this practice without a LOT of hurt feelings. My MIL is a widow and my husband is her only child that is married with kids (the other two kids are huge losers, TBH). So, if she doesn't come here, she stays home alone. She comes every other year. My parents come every other year, but when they come, it's even more stressful, because I just don't have a great relationship with them. There is always drama. I at least have 2 sisters who have kids, so my parents rotate who they go to for Christmas, but one sister lives very close by, so we see them every year regardless. For a long time, I was the only one with a guest room, so they always stay with us, while my sisters would at least have the luxury of them staying in a hotel when they visit.

I am seriously considering just announcing that this will be the last year I will host people for the holidays. I am over it. I would be fine if they want to visit starting on the 26th and stay through New Year's, but I would just like to have Christmas be a nuclear family deal from now on.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Having house guests for prolonged periods of time. Every year since my kids have been born (so 14 years now), we have had a grandparent/grandparents stay with us for 2 weeks at Christmas. We live across the country from both of them. I hate having house guests because I always feel responsible for making sure they aren't bored, are fed at every meal (which is a huge burden, as our little family typically is very low maintenance about meals...we will do sandwiches, smoothies, or breakfast for dinner routinely, while the grandparents expect a solid 3 hot meals a day). I feel like I am always in the kitchen cooking meals, and we spend a FORTUNE on groceries. I am over it, but I cannot think of a way to stop this practice without a LOT of hurt feelings. My MIL is a widow and my husband is her only child that is married with kids (the other two kids are huge losers, TBH). So, if she doesn't come here, she stays home alone. She comes every other year. My parents come every other year, but when they come, it's even more stressful, because I just don't have a great relationship with them. There is always drama. I at least have 2 sisters who have kids, so my parents rotate who they go to for Christmas, but one sister lives very close by, so we see them every year regardless. For a long time, I was the only one with a guest room, so they always stay with us, while my sisters would at least have the luxury of them staying in a hotel when they visit.

I am seriously considering just announcing that this will be the last year I will host people for the holidays. I am over it. I would be fine if they want to visit starting on the 26th and stay through New Year's, but I would just like to have Christmas be a nuclear family deal from now on.

2 weeks is a long time for house guests. It's nice they get to be there for that long to spend time with you all but at the same time that's quite a while spent at a person's home.

 

[DLgal]

2 weeks is a long time for house guests. It's nice they get to be there for that long to spend time with you all but at the same time that's quite a while spent at a person's home.

Tell me about it...

We only see them once or twice a year, so they don't like to fly so far for less than 2 weeks. Sigh.

 

[Cubbiecakes]

Having house guests for prolonged periods of time. Every year since my kids have been born (so 14 years now), we have had a grandparent/grandparents stay with us for 2 weeks at Christmas. We live across the country from both of them. I hate having house guests because I always feel responsible for making sure they aren't bored, are fed at every meal (which is a huge burden, as our little family typically is very low maintenance about meals...we will do sandwiches, smoothies, or breakfast for dinner routinely, while the grandparents expect a solid 3 hot meals a day). I feel like I am always in the kitchen cooking meals, and we spend a FORTUNE on groceries. I am over it, but I cannot think of a way to stop this practice without a LOT of hurt feelings. My MIL is a widow and my husband is her only child that is married with kids (the other two kids are huge losers, TBH). So, if she doesn't come here, she stays home alone. She comes every other year. My parents come every other year, but when they come, it's even more stressful, because I just don't have a great relationship with them. There is always drama. I at least have 2 sisters who have kids, so my parents rotate who they go to for Christmas, but one sister lives very close by, so we see them every year regardless. For a long time, I was the only one with a guest room, so they always stay with us, while my sisters would at least have the luxury of them staying in a hotel when they visit.

I am seriously considering just announcing that this will be the last year I will host people for the holidays. I am over it. I would be fine if they want to visit starting on the 26th and stay through New Year's, but I would just like to have Christmas be a nuclear family deal from now on.

Create an "event" that you and your family will be doing over the Xmas break. Go on a cruise, get out of state, anything. Use that as the reason you're "not having anyone over this Xmas."

Repeat as necessary.

 

[DLgal]

Create an "event" that you and your family will be doing over the Xmas break. Go on a cruise, get out of state, anything. Use that as the reason you're "not having anyone over this Xmas."

Repeat as necessary.

Traveling at Christmas is not an option. My kids are autistic and we have certain Christmas traditions that we need to be home to do. Plus, it costs a fortune to travel at that time. Not happening.

 

[Cubbiecakes]

It doesn't have to be elaborate. Go to the next town over for a day or two.

 

[dosekies]

Pretty much the same thing as OP but from the young adult's perspective. Trying to find time to spend with both my family and his family while making both sides happy. It is no easy task!

 

[dyna]

Wondering if my body will hold up to make all the Christmas goodies I have bought supplies for.

Just DH an I here. We get out the Charlie Brown tree set it on mantle. I lay garland around mantle. Set Mickey an Minnie on the heath with a couple flower arrangements on the earth with Mickey an Minnie an we are done.

Send out Christmas cards to friends an family who live away....the list is shrinking as I loose one or town relatives a yr it seems

Send DD's an GK's their money.

I don't do much shopping I do have 3 grade schoolers to buy for an
11 month old baby...Got the older kids Old Maid, Crazy 8's an Go Fish and will hide a 10.00 in their cards ...tape it to inside of box see how long it takes them to find it.

My 2 best friends are getting a pecan pie baked fresh by ME other friends an neighbors are getting a box of homemade cookies an fudge.

OH an the 11 month old baby is getting a ball.

1 of my friends is having us over for Christmas eve I think it has been requested that I bring potato salad which is an easy fix for me an yes I do make my own.

Christmas day DH an I will have fried rolled oysters....same dinner we have had for Christmas for 42 yrs

dyna, Yesterday at 4:09 PM Edit Report


Well EVERYTHING I said yesterday is out the window.

DH is now in hospital with a bowel blockage maybe a hernia (sp) I have lost track of how many hospital stays he has had in the last 2 yrs. Everytime something different. I'm tired stressed maybe I need to go join the I want to sleep thru Christmas thread.

 

[Kitty 34]

Wondering if my body will hold up to make all the Christmas goodies I have bought supplies for.

Just DH an I here. We get out the Charlie Brown tree set it on mantle. I lay garland around mantle. Set Mickey an Minnie on the heath with a couple flower arrangements on the earth with Mickey an Minnie an we are done.

Send out Christmas cards to friends an family who live away....the list is shrinking as I loose one or town relatives a yr it seems

Send DD's an GK's their money.

I don't do much shopping I do have 3 grade schoolers to buy for an
11 month old baby...Got the older kids Old Maid, Crazy 8's an Go Fish and will hide a 10.00 in their cards ...tape it to inside of box see how long it takes them to find it.

My 2 best friends are getting a pecan pie baked fresh by ME other friends an neighbors are getting a box of homemade cookies an fudge.

OH an the 11 month old baby is getting a ball.

1 of my friends is having us over for Christmas eve I think it has been requested that I bring potato salad which is an easy fix for me an yes I do make my own.

Christmas day DH an I will have fried rolled oysters....same dinner we have had for Christmas for 42 yrs

dyna, Yesterday at 4:09 PM Edit Report


Well EVERYTHING I said yesterday is out the window.

DH is now in hospital with a bowel blockage maybe a hernia (sp) I have lost track of how many hospital stays he has had in the last 2 yrs. Everytime something different. I'm tired stressed maybe I need to go join the I want to sleep thru Christmas thread.

So sorry about your husband.

 

[DLgal]

It doesn't have to be elaborate. Go to the next town over for a day or two.

LOL, the family would be like "we'll just come before/after your trip."

Plus, we live in Southern CA. Every town touches every other town. I can drive through 5 cities in 20 minutes.