At what age is it no longer appropriate for kids to be pantless when company is over?

[BLAZEY]

I thought you were going to say he was bare bummed.

What would you have said if he was wearing a speedo bathing suit?

We have a pants rule at our house (we’re also adults lol) but a five year old in his undies wouldn’t have phased me one bit.

If it had been a pool party where everyone else is in a swimsuit, not an issue. Formal Sunday dinner, we ate outside as it was a nice evening.

 

[mamamary]

While I think it's odd for a 5 year old to run around with underwear on while others are there, I agree with others who say that it's really not your place to tell your nephew to put clothes on.

This

 

[BLAZEY]

Well, I am not a parent, so as per DIS rules, I probably am wrong or do not have a right to an opinion, lol!

For the record, I tend to be a rule follower. Does 5 seem a bit old to not wear pants? Perhaps. But the way the OP started the story, I was thinking the kid had NOTHING on, not even underwear. I mean if he was sitting at the table in a shirt with only his underwear, I would find it a bit odd. However, not sure I would have taken it upon myself to tell the kid what to do. I probably would have asked one of the parents about it, more from being a bit curious about it perspective.

OP, it is clear from the follow up posts that you have something going on with your sister in law and this pants issue is definitely related to that.

Its my sister, and brother in law. Brother in law has mentioned numerous time before at previous sunday dinners for HIS Son to go put pant or shorts on.

 

[BLAZEY]

So the yard didn't come with 1/2 the house, ok
Still should have went to the parents first.

Oh I have spoken with my sister about this. She had issues with my daughter in undies while we were potty training her years ago. NOW her son in now well past the same age but it ok for HIM to be without pants at Sunday dinner?

 

[morgan98]

Its my sister, and brother in law. Brother in law has mentioned numerous time before at previous sunday dinners for HIS Son to go put pant or shorts on.

Okay, sister, sister-in-law, whatever. You it seems you still have a problem with the way she is raising her children.

You mention it being a formal Sunday dinner? Was everyone else is dresses and suits?

 

[BLAZEY]

Okay, sister, sister-in-law, whatever. You it seems you still have a problem with the way she is raising her children.

You mention it being a formal Sunday dinner? Was everyone else is dresses and suits?

Everyone else was in dressier clothes, yes. Dress pants and button shirts, and blouse, the girls (DD & DNiece) were in dresses,

 

[gotomu212]

Ehh in my family up until school age it wasn’t completely unusual for kids to be underdressed, especially around family.

 

[Hikergirl]

Oh I have spoken with my sister about this. She had issues with my daughter in undies while we were potty training her years ago. NOW her son in now well past the same age but it ok for HIM to be without pants at Sunday dinner?

Look I agree with you that a 5 year old should have pants on for dinner, but in your situation I would not have told the child myself, it is not my place.

 

[mjkacmom]

Sitting by the pool this summer, my sister told dd15 and dd17 to cover up more. I told them they looked fine, and privately told my sister I don’t appreciate her criticizing my kids, especially since I was obviously fine with the bathing suits, heck I paid for them. She lives in the Midwest, we live in the northeast, fashion trends differ. Im their mother, I decide whats appropriate. BTW my girls are really skinny with nothing going on top wise, but have runners booties.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Oh I have spoken with my sister about this. She had issues with my daughter in undies while we were potty training her years ago. NOW her son in now well past the same age but it ok for HIM to be without pants at Sunday dinner?

Sounds like sour grapes. Unless the child is going to get hurt or hurt someone else, MYOB.

 

[wenrob]

I’ll probably regret this but here goes.

In our family the Aunties and Uncles are allowed to correct each other’s children. In particular my sister and I (and our spouses.) I babysat my nephew every weekend and every Wednesday for the first several years of his life. DN and DD are more like brother and sister rather than cousins. Our kids spent a LOT of time in each of our houses. I would have thought nothing of saying, “Dude, go put on some pants” and would have thought nothing of repeating it if he didn’t comply. My sister would’ve totally backed me up. It all depends on the family dynamic and it sounds like the OP might have one similar to mine.

As for pants at dinner, once past young toddler stage everyone should wear them.

 

[Sabeking]

I think pants should probably be worn at the table at that age. As far as you telling him to put them on, I truly think it depends on your relationship with the family. With some of my siblings kids I would not have said anything. With my one niece, she stays here a lot in my care, I would have no problem saying something to her. I think it depends on relationships, etc...

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Never in a million years would I think it was my place to set the rules for someone else’s child at their home. And yes, if they were having a meal outside the “granny shack” that sits in their yard the kid would understandably feel like he was at home.

FTR, a five year old in his underwear at an outdoor summer family gathering on his own property wouldn’t faze me. If he showed up at my dining room table like that I might blurt out “Where’d your pants go?” before wishing I’d kept my mouth shut as it occurred to me that they were probably out of commission due to a bathroom accident. In all cases, I’d leave the pants-wearing scolding up to his parents.

 

[dakotix]

A little off topic but not by much. My husband (2 dads) and I have a 3yo. We go swimming every Sunday. It's at our local gym and we go to the locker room and change into our swim suits and then off we go. Two weeks ago another family was at the pool (father, grandfather, 2 young boys and a 4-5 yo girl) and we finished around the same time. My son and i went to the locker room and the other family came in not too long after us. This is a MENS locker room. I was shocked to see that they brought the 5 yo girl into the locker room. They had her undress in the common area (where all the other men were undressing)which i thought was pretty inappropriate given the fact this is an adult gym, not the YMCA -- so not family orientated. Thoughts? Am I the only one who thinks that was a bizarre move on their part?

 

[Hikergirl]

I’ll probably regret this but here goes.

In our family the Aunties and Uncles are allowed to correct each other’s children. In particular my sister and I (and our spouses.) I babysat my nephew every weekend and every Wednesday for the first several years of his life. DN and DD are more like brother and sister rather than cousins. Our kids spent a LOT of time in each of our houses. I would have thought nothing of saying, “Dude, go put on some pants” and would have thought nothing of repeating it if he didn’t comply. My sister would’ve totally backed me up. It all depends on the family dynamic and it sounds like the OP might have one similar to mine.

As for pants at dinner, once past young toddler stage everyone should wear them.

I have no problem with any of my kid's aunts or uncles correcting my children when they are in their care, or when they witness something that needs obvious discipline. I don't consider my rules on dinner attire for my kids in my own home anything that needs to be corrected by someone else.

 

[Klayfish]

I never wear the pants in my family...I know my place.

 

[BLAZEY]

I’ll probably regret this but here goes.

In our family the Aunties and Uncles are allowed to correct each other’s children. In particular my sister and I (and our spouses.) I babysat my nephew every weekend and every Wednesday for the first several years of his life. DN and DD are more like brother and sister rather than cousins. Our kids spent a LOT of time in each of our houses. I would have thought nothing of saying, “Dude, go put on some pants” and would have thought nothing of repeating it if he didn’t comply. My sister would’ve totally backed me up. It all depends on the family dynamic and it sounds like the OP might have one similar to mine.

As for pants at dinner, once past young toddler stage everyone should wear them.

\This is what it has been like up until this point. I had no issue with my sister asking my daughter not to do/or talk about something around her kids as the is a big age gap (some topics are fine at 9 and not at 3). And that's how it started Dh said "Nephew time for pants buddy, dinner's almost ready."

 

[mjkacmom]

A little off topic but not by much. My husband (2 dads) and I have a 3yo. We go swimming every Sunday. It's at our local gym and we go to the locker room and change into our swim suits and then off we go. Two weeks ago another family was at the pool (father, grandfather, 2 young boys and a 4-5 yo girl) and we finished around the same time. My son and i went to the locker room and the other family came in not too long after us. This is a MENS locker room. I was shocked to see that they brought the 5 yo girl into the locker room. They had her undress in the common area (where all the other men were undressing)which i thought was pretty inappropriate given the fact this is an adult gym, not the YMCA -- so not family orientated. Thoughts? Am I the only one who thinks that was a bizarre move on their part?

Where should they have taken her? If I was at the gym with my 4/5 year old son, I wouldn’t send him into the men’s locker room alone to change. Were there private areas?

 

[CarolAnn856]

I’ll probably regret this but here goes.

In our family the Aunties and Uncles are allowed to correct each other’s children. In particular my sister and I (and our spouses.) I babysat my nephew every weekend and every Wednesday for the first several years of his life. DN and DD are more like brother and sister rather than cousins. Our kids spent a LOT of time in each of our houses. I would have thought nothing of saying, “Dude, go put on some pants” and would have thought nothing of repeating it if he didn’t comply. My sister would’ve totally backed me up. It all depends on the family dynamic and it sounds like the OP might have one similar to mine.

As for pants at dinner, once past young toddler stage everyone should wear them.

That's how it was/is in my family, too. But I have a feeling that the dynamic is not identical to the OP's family.

 

[BLAZEY]

I think pants should probably be worn at the table at that age. As far as you telling him to put them on, I truly think it depends on your relationship with the family. With some of my siblings kids I would not have said anything. With my one niece, she stays here a lot in my care, I would have no problem saying something to her. I think it depends on relationships, etc...

This is how is has been up until this point, my sister's reaction to this has not been the same to past correcting of behaviour.