cabanafrau
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- May 10, 2006
I feel like because her career choice is being a singer, she is somehow being selfish. Like if she went back to her career as a nurse or a doctor or whatever career that she would have to work nights, people would be fine with it, but because it is a career in entertainment, it is somehow more of just a selfish hobby. She takes care of the kids before and after school, and he takes acre of them at night, not sure how that is unfair to Jack? They are both going to work, she just happens to have found a job that she loves.
I gave up my career 14 years ago to stay home with the kids. I haven't gone back because my Dh is in sales, works crazy hours, and travels a lot for work. Trying to juggle his career, our 3 kids, and my potential work schedule just seems impossible. Luckily we can financially afford it, but I totally get how Rebecca is feeling. My kids need me, but often now it's just for rides, running errands, or to make dinner. It's hard to feel really needed. And yet if I went back to work, it would put a huge strain on my DH and his career so I stay home. Not at all complaining, but I can totally relate to how Rebecca feels.
What's significant is that all of those other career options would have changed the financial picture of the family for the better. The bottom line is, her choice to pursue singing is of negligible value to her family's finances, and puts more strain on her husband. She is the only one with any upside to her choices.
I get how hard it is for a woman to rejoin the work world after stepping out to stay at home. I get it's more challenging when your spouse works a lot of and irregular hours. Those things were significant obstacles for me to return to work and I had to reinvent myself in the process. It's turned out reasonably well, but there are still things I would change more than a decade later if I was only considering myself. Our daughters are in college now and require very little of me in a lot of ways.
Since my husband still has the lion's share of earning power he actually returned to school to pursue a graduate degree in his late 40s and we are finally about to see that chapter end this year now that we're both in our 50s. He has received the opportunity for a full ride to pursue his doctorate and decided to turn it down because he is tired of the grind of full-time career and part-time schooling we've been living for too many years now. Even with our daughters grown the fact he is in school and has a busy career has meant I shoulder an extra load and I decided against pursuing a degree with an eye towards reinventing myself yet again at my age. I'll probably always have a little bit of regrets about that and wonder what if. It's not just about me and I have to weigh those feelings and potential regrets against what I do have, what we have. I made decisions long ago that meant it's not just all about me anymore. There was a time in my life I could have made these decisions based on what I want/need, the same as Rebecca when she was pursing singing as a single woman, with no success and apparently not a lot of happiness in her life.