This is us..

[wenrob]

I feel hugely let down. I kept waiting for something to happen when really it was just an extension of the last episode.

I found this episode pretty boring. I actually much prefer the present day scenes to the ones in the past. And there was way too much hype over this one, nothing really happened except they had a fight & decided to take a break. I thought what he said to her in the fight was awful...." A 40 year old singing cover tunes is ridiculous". So mean!!! I just would have headed back out on tour if I was her.

I saw Mandy Moore saying this episode was something that had never been seen on TV before. Totally don't get that comment?? What do u think she was referring to?

That was SO out of line for him to say. Low blow. I'm usually in Jack's corner but that was something I'm sure she'll never forget him saying.

Maybe the realism of the one take fight scene? It was pretty good.

I will give the episode that. I actually flinched a couple of times. I've lived that scene. Stuff bottled up too long and things said that can never be taken back. Painful to watch.

I agree that she was being ungrateful not to appreciate all Jack did for their family, and that she could have stood up for herself and her dreams at any point, but I don't think Jack was husband of the year in this episode either, to show up drunk to her show and punch the other guy, then blame Rebecca for his drinking and then basically call her career a joke.

I thought it was a very honest episode about how people in a marriage sometimes communicate very badly, and blame each other for unfulfilled dreams instead of seeing how the marriage and the kids *are* a dream come true for many people. So I thought it was good in that way, but a sad and depressing show for the season finale

I like that they're showing Jack's faults, it makes him more human. Good people have flaws. I agree it was a very honest episode.

 

[wenrob]

Oh, I really liked that they played the Van Morrison album and that you could hear the scratches. I forgot what that sounded like.

 

[buzzrelly]

Super boring episode. And I don't think they've depicted enough of a crumbling marriage at this point to have him moving out. I find it too unbelievable. You don't have one or two fights and then decide to leave your marriage and your three kids. Ridiculous.

 

[kimblebee]

Super boring episode. And I don't think they've depicted enough of a crumbling marriage at this point to have him moving out. I find it too unbelievable. You don't have one or two fights and then decide to leave your marriage and your three kids. Ridiculous.

I don't think Jack leaving makes it a separation..I think they're just taking a few days to think about the fight and kind of reset things. I know I've been involved in fights where afterwards we didn't speak for a day or two, just to cool off.

I really like that they are showing the real, gritty, messy side of marriage. Too many shows have the problem solved in an hour and THATS unbelievable.

 

[fab1976]

No one has mentioned that this is the first time it came out that Jack was in Vietnam. I think that will become a topic to explore a lot more in the next couple of seasons!

 

[wenrob]

Super boring episode. And I don't think they've depicted enough of a crumbling marriage at this point to have him moving out. I find it too unbelievable. You don't have one or two fights and then decide to leave your marriage and your three kids. Ridiculous.

They've been building on issues throughout the whole season. We're on the outside looking in, we haven't seen it all. How many times have you known that 'perfect' couple and were then knocked off your feet when they suddenly announce they're getting divorced? This episode gave us a glimpse into the very flawed, human side of marriage. You can love someone with every fiber of your being and still resent the hell out of them at times. That said, I agree with kimblebee, he's not leaving his family, they're just getting out of each other's faces for a bit. Some really nasty things were said. I imagine they both feel emotionally beat up.

 

[cabanafrau]

Personally enjoyed the episode tremendously. Jack's plan to take back his poker winnings was very surprising to me. Not only does it seem out of character for the person we've been watching all season to think of attempting something like that, but we've also seen him be pretty intelligent and resourceful in tight situations. I just can't understand that he wouldn't have realized after they got the beatdown and robbed after the game that they were out of their league and should stay away.

It actually wouldn't surprise me if the thoughts upthread that we watched Rebecca's last look at Jack as he walked out the door are correct. I suspect he is likely to succumb to a cardiac episode during the separation.

Here's my issue with Rebecca's choices. She knew her singing several nights a week was putting strain on an already chaotic household. She knew when she was single she was having no luck forming relationships because her lifestyle wasn't conducive to it. She knew Jack had sacrificed a lot of his personal dreams for their family life and was stressed and not really loving his job either, but he did it because he had no choice. She either is paying no attention to the strain Jack has been under or she simply decided to go forward anyway, consequences or no. IMO that's not how married people work things out. She's simply been nursing her wounds from whatever is wrong with her relationship with her own parents and having not succeeded in her single years to make a singing career happen and now she wants to lay all of the blame elsewhere that she hasn't gotten what she wanted. Nope, choices she made derailed her continuing with singing in her younger years. Nobody forced her to make those choices.

 

[cabanafrau]

I'm excited to see if Randal and Beth do adopt. She didn't seem to excited about the idea

I don't think we can judge her excitement level or lack thereof until we allow her a moment to absorb the idea from out of the blue.

 

[wenrob]

Personally enjoyed the episode tremendously. Jack's plan to take back his poker winnings was very surprising to me. Not only does it seem out of character for the person we've been watching all season to think of attempting something like that, but we've also seen him be pretty intelligent and resourceful in tight situations. I just can't understand that he wouldn't have realized after they got the beatdown and robbed after the game that they were out of their league and should stay away.

It actually wouldn't surprise me if the thoughts upthread that we watched Rebecca's last look at Jack as he walked out the door are correct. I suspect he is likely to succumb to a cardiac episode during the separation.

Here's my issue with Rebecca's choices. She knew her singing several nights a week was putting strain on an already chaotic household. She knew when she was single she was having no luck forming relationships because her lifestyle wasn't conducive to it. She knew Jack had sacrificed a lot of his personal dreams for their family life and was stressed and not really loving his job either, but he did it because he had no choice. She either is paying no attention to the strain Jack has been under or she simply decided to go forward anyway, consequences or no. IMO that's not how married people work things out. She's simply been nursing her wounds from whatever is wrong with her relationship with her own parents and having not succeeded in her single years to make a singing career happen and now she wants to lay all of the blame elsewhere that she hasn't gotten what she wanted. Nope, choices she made derailed her continuing with singing in her younger years. Nobody forced her to make those choices.

You know, I really identified with her when she said she felt like a shadow roaming through the house. I have felt that way and what I figured out is that sometimes you have to do for you in order to do for everyone else. Where she went wrong IMO is not recognizing that the same was happening with Jack and went all in without considering that it would put more pressure on him. She was dishonest with Jack about having a previous relationship with the other guy and then put it on Jack. That was a huge sticking point for me. They both stop communicating but it feels like Jack did it to spare her feelings while she did it to get the freedom she desperately needed. Not that there's anything wrong with 'doing for you' I just feel she went about it the wrong way.

On Jack getting drunk and stupid and attacking that guy. I think we all to some degree spend some energy trying not to be like the people who came before us. In Jack's case, his dad's lean towards violence. Rebecca lied about her previous relationship with the guy and then the guy confirms he tried to kiss her. Having doubt in his head (his wife lied to him) and being drunk snapped that tight leash he had on not being his dad. Not excusing the behavior, it was stupid, irrational and childish but I can see how it happened.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I don't think we can judge her excitement level or lack thereof until we allow her a moment to absorb the idea from out of the blue.

maybe you can't. I can I guess it depends on what side of the fence you are on.

 

[cabanafrau]

maybe you can't. I can I guess it depends on what side of the fence you are on.

Well I didn't even realize there was a fence, so maybe I am missing something.

 

[KristiMc]

I can see where Rebecca is coming from. She gave up her career and became a mom to triplets but now the kids are teens and they don't need her as much anymore (mom to 2 teens currently - so I know where she is coming from). She tries to get back into her singing and Jack is not giving her any support - just the guilt act.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I think Jack was supportive until she omitted the fact she used to date the guy.

 

[wenrob]

Oh, I wanted to say about the poker game, Jack was 28 at the time, had been in Vietnam was he really that naive? C'mon, you're the new guy, get dealt three queens and win big. That didn't send up any huge flags? I could see if he'd been 18 and still shiny and new but at 28 especially in that time frame and having been to war I find it hard to believe he had no clue they were setting him up.

 

[wenrob]

I can see where Rebecca is coming from. She gave up her career and became a mom to triplets but now the kids are teens and they don't need her as much anymore (mom to 2 teens currently - so I know where she is coming from). She tries to get back into her singing and Jack is not giving her any support - just the guilt act.

I felt her too but I disagree with the rest. He was 100% behind her until he found out she lied to him. He may have been a butthead about it but really, how are you supposed to react when you discover your spouse lied to you?

I think Jack was supportive until she omitted the fact she used to date the guy.

Yep.

 

[cabanafrau]

You know, I really identified with her when she said she felt like a shadow roaming through the house. I have felt that way and what I figured out is that sometimes you have to do for you in order to do for everyone else. Where she went wrong IMO is not recognizing that the same was happening with Jack and went all in without considering that it would put more pressure on him. She was dishonest with Jack about having a previous relationship with the other guy and then put it on Jack. That was a huge sticking point for me. They both stop communicating but it feels like Jack did it to spare her feelings while she did it to get the freedom she desperately needed. Not that there's anything wrong with 'doing for you' I just feel she went about it the wrong way.

On Jack getting drunk and stupid and attacking that guy. I think we all to some degree spend some energy trying not to be like the people who came before us. In Jack's case, his dad's lean towards violence. Rebecca lied about her previous relationship with the guy and then the guy confirms he tried to kiss her. Having doubt in his head (his wife lied to him) and being drunk snapped that tight leash he had on not being his dad. Not excusing the behavior, it was stupid, irrational and childish but I can see how it happened.

I was a SAHM for a point in my life. I absolutely understand feeling like a shadow self with nothing in your life being about you and needing to take steps to address that. The reality is that it does take planning and must be addressed in steps at that point. Barring an absolutely dire situation, which is not at all Rebecca's case, she needed to find a way to balance her responsibilities to her family with what she needed to do to address her own situation. IMO she chose to pursue what she wanted the way she wanted because she felt she was owed her chance. In a marriage or as a parent you can't simply look at it that way. It would be the same if Jack decided he'd waited long enough to achieve his dream of owning a garage and decided he was going to use the family savings or place a second mortgage on the house to do so now because he's so miserable in his job and feels unfulfilled. They've both made the choices that has created the life they're living. They're a married couple living within a family unit. You don't get to simply decide to make a unilateral change that impacts everyone and increases someone else's burdens -- and expect them to cheer you on while accepting you're entitled to whatever you decide you want.

 

[katie111]

I feel like because her career choice is being a singer, she is somehow being selfish. Like if she went back to her career as a nurse or a doctor or whatever career that she would have to work nights, people would be fine with it, but because it is a career in entertainment, it is somehow more of just a selfish hobby. She takes care of the kids before and after school, and he takes acre of them at night, not sure how that is unfair to Jack? They are both going to work, she just happens to have found a job that she loves.

I gave up my career 14 years ago to stay home with the kids. I haven't gone back because my Dh is in sales, works crazy hours, and travels a lot for work. Trying to juggle his career, our 3 kids, and my potential work schedule just seems impossible. Luckily we can financially afford it, but I totally get how Rebecca is feeling. My kids need me, but often now it's just for rides, running errands, or to make dinner. It's hard to feel really needed. And yet if I went back to work, it would put a huge strain on my DH and his career so I stay home. Not at all complaining, but I can totally relate to how Rebecca feels.

 

[anniemae]

I was very bored. I think they incorrectly hyped up this episode. All the actors kept saying how amazing the finale is and how there is a big shocker, and "not what you expect" it to be, and the twists and turns will be unbelievable, and people would be shocked etc. I think we were all waiting for something huge to happen, but nothing really happened.

 

[cabanafrau]

I was very bored. I think they incorrectly hyped up this episode. All the actors kept saying how amazing the finale is and how there is a big shocker, and "not what you expect" it to be, and the twists and turns will be unbelievable, and people would be shocked etc. I think we were all waiting for something huge to happen, but nothing really happened.

To me it was huge that this couple who we know were so much in love and have overcome a lot of obstacles together have decided to take a break. In my life, in my marriage, that would be very significant, seismic even. I suspect going forward we will see it was indeed significant for the Pearson family.

 

[wenrob]

I was a SAHM for a point in my life. I absolutely understand feeling like a shadow self with nothing in your life being about you and needing to take steps to address that. The reality is that it does take planning and must be addressed in steps at that point. Barring an absolutely dire situation, which is not at all Rebecca's case, she needed to find a way to balance her responsibilities to her family with what she needed to do to address her own situation. IMO she chose to pursue what she wanted the way she wanted because she felt she was owed her chance. In a marriage or as a parent you can't simply look at it that way. It would be the same if Jack decided he'd waited long enough to achieve his dream of owning a garage and decided he was going to use the family savings or place a second mortgage on the house to do so now because he's so miserable in his job and feels unfulfilled. They've both made the choices that has created the life they're living. They're a married couple living within a family unit. You don't get to simply decide to make a unilateral change that impacts everyone and increases someone else's burdens -- and expect them to cheer you on while accepting you're entitled to whatever you decide you want.

Oh, I 100% agree.

I feel like because her career choice is being a singer, she is somehow being selfish. Like if she went back to her career as a nurse or a doctor or whatever career that she would have to work nights, people would be fine with it, but because it is a career in entertainment, it is somehow more of just a selfish hobby. She takes care of the kids before and after school, and he takes acre of them at night, not sure how that is unfair to Jack? They are both going to work, she just happens to have found a job that she loves.

I gave up my career 14 years ago to stay home with the kids. I haven't gone back because my Dh is in sales, works crazy hours, and travels a lot for work. Trying to juggle his career, our 3 kids, and my potential work schedule just seems impossible. Luckily we can financially afford it, but I totally get how Rebecca is feeling. My kids need me, but often now it's just for rides, running errands, or to make dinner. It's hard to feel really needed. And yet if I went back to work, it would put a huge strain on my DH and his career so I stay home. Not at all complaining, but I can totally relate to how Rebecca feels.

For me, it's not about the career choice. It's the way she went about it. She was dishonest with Jack in order to do it. That's where it becomes selfish IMO. Her reason for it (he'd go "all off the rails Jack") doesn't fly with me. If you feel you need to lie to your spouse in order to get what you want there's a problem on both sides. So in that sense she put her career above her marriage.