What stresses you out the most during the holidays?

[powellrj]

The weather and not knowing everyone’s schedule. I want to make plans early in the month instead of people waiting until a couple days before and having to get everything together at the last minute. I didn’t know what we were doing for Thanksgiving until the day before and I hate it.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I mostly love it!

Too many decorations used to stress me out (both from the cluttered feeling and the time taken up decorating and undecorating) but I've done what I feel is a really good job reducing that this year.

I still need to work on Christmas cards, though. I used to really enjoy it - but over the years, my address book has become a mess (Every summer, I say I'm going to redo it, but I don't. ) so it's gotten to be more of a "task".

 

[DisneyHardin]

I still need to work on Christmas cards, though. I used to really enjoy it - but over the years, my address book has become a mess (Every summer, I say I'm going to redo it, but I don't. ) so it's gotten to be more of a "task".

A tip for when you do have a chance to re-do your address book - write the new one totally in pencil, that way when someone moves, it is easy to just erase the address and correct it and it keeps the book so much neater. I did this the last time I had to re-do mine and it has been so great. I keep an mechanical pencil clipped to it and so making changes is a breeze.

 

[PollyannaMom]

A tip for when you do have a chance to re-do your address book - write the new one totally in pencil, that way when someone moves, it is easy to just erase the address and correct it and it keeps the book so much neater. I did this the last time I had to re-do mine and it has been so great. I keep an mechanical pencil clipped to it and so making changes is a breeze.

Years and years ago, I typed mine into a spreadsheet on the computer. I printed it out and put it in a 3-ring binder with a bunch of other information. For a long time, I was good about updating it, and reprinting occasionally. (I even had a column for "Christmas card list" and could sort and print just those to make it easy!) But as life got busier and busier, I started just crossing out and writing in new addresses. Eventually, we had hard drive issues and lost a lot of old files - that one included...and instead of re-doing it on the new computer, I just kept tucking in slips of paper, adding on the backs of pages, etc. - until now, most of the pages aren't even really attached. I definitely need to follow your advice!

 

[aprilchem]

Having to visit the ILs over the holidays. It's the most stressful part of the whole season.

 

[MissManda]

Honestly for me, I think that shopping for gifts is the most stressful part. I really like to put thought into what I"m getting each person so that its more meaningful. I really hate giving gift cards and money (and even if I do that, I will try and put a small gift with it). It just seems like picking out gifts gets harder and harder each year.

It also stresses me out having to fit in time with all of the family so that no one feels slighted. My husbands family always expect us to come to them. His brother has even said that they aren't going anywhere on Christmas so that their child can be home and enjoy her presents. Our child is only 9 months older. We want him to be able to enjoy his presents as well, but they have never been willing to swap years back and forth. So, if we want to see any of that side of the family (including the grandparents) on Christmas we have to pack up and head to their house because that is where they all are. Then if we say no, we can't make it, they act all offended. We've tried having them over on Christmas Eve, etc but that never works out either for one reason or another. There is always an excuse. And we always look like the bad people in their eyes (even though I know we aren't). Basically, we have decided every other Christmas we will go to their house and the next year we stay home. Its seems more than fair and it is on them to come see us. I'm tired of making all the effort.

Oh..and this year, I'm cooking Christmas Eve Eve dinner for about 13 people for my family- I don't normally cook for that many, so I'm sure that will be stressful. But I'm looking forward too it.

 

[ronandannette]

This year it’s money. We haven’t been in a position of having to watch our pennies so closely for a long, long time and I’m out of practise.

 

[GreatLakes]

Years and years ago, I typed mine into a spreadsheet on the computer. I printed it out and put it in a 3-ring binder with a bunch of other information. For a long time, I was good about updating it, and reprinting occasionally. (I even had a column for "Christmas card list" and could sort and print just those to make it easy!) But as life got busier and busier, I started just crossing out and writing in new addresses. Eventually, we had hard drive issues and lost a lot of old files - that one included...and instead of re-doing it on the new computer, I just kept tucking in slips of paper, adding on the backs of pages, etc. - until now, most of the pages aren't even really attached. I definitely need to follow your advice!

If you have a spreadsheet just create a mail merge with some labels and you can print them off all in one sitting. That is what we do for our labels. No manual writing of addresses at all and corrections/changes are easy.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

All the stuff I have to do.

 

[mrodgers]

1. People in public. I miss living in the middle of nowhere. How many miles it was to the store is how long it was going to take. In general, we were 30 miles from anywhere and took 30 minutes to get anywhere and had 3 other areas to go to instead of the big town where I work and now live. Now I'm 3-5 miles and had to run to the store to get a valve for the kitchen faucet I was working to replace. 30 minute drive to go 5 miles to Ace Hardware.

2. Ex-wife and the kids. It's a battle every year to see my kids on the holiday (Eve or Christmas). We don't have a custody agreement and there's no family on my side for the kids, so I let her decide what she is doing with family and I'll have the girls the other day. Nope, it's a battle even with letting her pick which of the 2 days she wants.

3. Family, mother in particular. It's only my mother and brother in the near area. He doesn't have a car and of course I am volunteered to drive an hour to pick him up and an hour to get him. I wish I could leave her out of the situation and just get together for a few days with my brother.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

All the stuff I have to do.

We have nieces who have two different concerts, both of which happen at the same time as church bell choir rehearsal. Our daughter has extra choir rehearsals for the church choir. My wife is running a play at her school this week. We have to get our son from college next week.

Just finished a craft fair/dinner/karaoke night at church on Saturday.

We finished decorating the inside of our house (but still no tree) at 12:30 am last night. Haven't done any Christmas shopping. And the car needs an oil change.

 

[luvsJack]

Well, I used to think it was getting to all the grandparent's homes at some point. Now, I go to MIL's still on Christmas Eve but other than that, its at my house and my kids all come there sometime Christmas Day.

But, trying to find a time! Oh goodness! One will probably have to go in to work at some point. The other two have to have time with their other family and no one wants to say "yes, that's the best time". Seems like no matter what time I say, its not right for someone. Last year, I decided to make Christmas night our tradition. The children still have time at their home in the mornings, everyone can have dinner with their other family, etc. But now I keep getting different times thrown at me. All except by wonderful DIL who just says "tell me when to be there". Anyway, so I have just set a time and I told them they were more than welcome to come early and if they were a little late it was ok. Its just a guideline not a rule.

 

[jaybirdsmommy]

Everything.

My parents lost my older brother in an accident on Dec 19, 1972. I was 2. Growing up I never did understand why Christmas in our house wasn't the happy time that it was for everyone else. In my house, it was sad. I never knew how my Mother was going to cope that year and my Father usually looked for someone to blame when things didn't go right. Usually, that was me. I grew up thinking that if I could just make the holiday perfect - find the perfect presents, decorate perfectly, make the best cookies, etc that I could change things. It wasn't until I moved away that I realized that there wasn't anything I could do and by trying so hard I was just making myself an easy target.

Unfortunately, the behavior pattern is pretty well set after 46 years. I find myself trying to make everyone else's holiday perfect and no one really cares. The kids and my husband want the decorations up this year and are a little miffed that it hasn't happened, but no one will clean up the living room and I can't stand the idea of adding more clutter. My husbands family won't give up the gift exchange (we are all adults, no one needs anything) and doesn't understand that we can't spend hundreds on them. Their lists are insane - fit bits, MLB season tickets, $$$ collectibles, things from little local stores that don't do online or over the phone sales (we live 12 hours away). Then they buy our kids way too much stuff, none of which is age appropriate or having anything to do with what they are interested in. They are really careful not to say anything to DH. They catch me when he's not around to complain or make snide remarks.

 

[soccerdad72]

Coming up with gift lists for the grandmothers - seems like it's a chore every year and now that our kids are older, it's even worse, especially when they really don't need much (yeah, I know, first world problems )

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Trying to please all the family in ensuring enough time is spent with them--

~My mom (then extended family for actual holiday)
~My mother-in-law and step-father-in-law
~My father-in-law and now new step-mother-in-law (we don't really identify her as a stepmother though, she's usually referred to as my father-in-law's wife).

During the holidays we also make a trip to STL for a weekend to visit my husband's grandmother so it's squeezing in that (though if we really have to we can push it off to January or February).

The two siblings of my husband we just usually see when we get together with family. One of them lives with her husband with mother-in-law and step-father-in-law and the other one is normally too busy with work and other committments to see outside of getting together with family.

 

[OhMari]

Want to hear this scenario?

I invited my parents and my inlaws to our church to watch a "Live Nativity Scene" play.
I told my parents I would pick them up, we would either have lunch before or supper after and then I would take them back home. They live 15 minutes away.
They cancelled on me.
My MIL asked if she could have the tickets for her sister and husband, which is my husbands aunt and uncle.
I said ok, since the show was sold out --. their nephew and his wife and baby were playing Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus.

My Mother-in-law called me yesterday, the day of the play and told me they were going out to eat after with her sister and husband after the show.
She told me we would do supper another time.
I was confused and wondered why we all could not go along.

My dh knew right away when it comes to his mom's sister-we would get ditched.

Luckily my dd and her husband and my sister and brother -in-law attended the play and we all went out for supper after.

My parents and in-laws just confuse me. They tell us to spend time with them and do things with them, because they do not need anything.

I planned this well in advance, nothing was last minute.

This was suppose to be our Christmas present to both set of parents-am I stressed out-yes-because now I have to come up with another idea,
which will probably mean, me making a special meal and supper for both of them.

I know I should be grateful for my parents and my in-laws-but I am tired, trying to make them happy, they "ditched me".

 

[marcyleecorgan]

I like the decorations.
I hate all the expectations.

 

[marthachick]

This year, DS works Christmas Eve (paramedic). FDIL decided she wants for her, DS, her dad, her sister and her grandmother to go out to eat Chinese Food on Christmas night. They used to do this when her mom was alive. They are going to her grandfather's house for lunch. So that leaves breakfast at my house. I told DS that I didn't want them to just come over for an hour and then leave. He assured me they wouldn't but they probably will. And they'll probably expect me to cook the day after Christmas. I'm trying really hard to not have hurt feelings over this, but it's not working too good. I know there are worse things, but I really am upset by this.

 

[shh]

I like the decorations.
I hate all the expectations.

Can I vote this one the best of the thread? Pretty much sums it up.

 

[snapppyd]

Trying to come up with a gift for my best friend.

Spending time with family. I love them, but don't always want to be with them.