What are your rules on parenting?

[Spinneret]

for example no relationships before 21

 

[BrianL]

My number one rule has been to not become a parent. I like to keep it simple.

 

[martikus]

At 15 it’s no phone in room at bedtime.

If he dated it would be don’t make me a grandma.

It changes as he gets older. Just hoping I’m making a nice, productive citizen.

 

[brockash]

At 15 it’s no phone in room at bedtime.

If he dated it would be don’t make me a grandma.

It changes as he gets older. Just hoping I’m making a nice, productive citizen.

Huh...my 15 year old is convinced I'm the only parent that doesn't allow her to keep her phone all night. Lol...but yes, kind, productive citizen is what I'm aiming for.

 

[DLgal]

for example no relationships before 21

21????

 

[DLgal]

We don't have any rules. Honestly. My kids self regulate on everything from appropriate portion sizes of food to their time using electroncs to bedtime with no input from me. One of the benefits of autism, I guess. They learned what is expected along the way and act appropriately, no arguments. They are good kids. Haven't given me any grief. My 18 year old won't even take a sip of alcohol when we offer. "I have to wait until I'm 21," he says. My younger one won't eat more than 2 Oreos at a time "the serving size is 2 cookies." They don't even look at girls and have no interest in dating (whew!) They don't want to hang out with friends outside of school. They are happy at home in their rooms, so they don't need a curfew. They have never fought with each other or anyone else. They are the easiest teenagers ever.

Before I was a parent, I had a list of the rules we would have in our house. I haven't needed any of them.

 

[prairie_girl]

I didn’t really have any hard and fast rules. I found that allowing her some freedom to make her own decisions (with me watching from the background), she made the right ones.

Now, she’s about to turn 22 next week, has been on her own for over a year now (broke up with long term boyfriend last summer), is responsible, intelligent, wicked sense of humour, and was made manager of her store a month or two ago.

Ok, brag over

 

[mjkacmom]

No tattoos until 18 (on #4 and #5’s 18th birthday the 5 of them got sibling tattoos, they’re close). Birth control, birth control, birth control. I was a bit of a tiger mom with school, but so were they, so it worked out. Summer jobs were a must. Honestly they were pretty easy and respectful.

 

[Mysterian]

21????

I agree, way too soon. Needs to be 30.

 

[GreatLakes]

We have a few house rules that apply to our son since he is part of the family. No screens in the bedroom, no locked doors that aren't a bathroom, stuff like that. How strict we have to be with other things will depend on his personality as he grows.

 

[mrodgers]

I grew up with a mother who had kids I think just to have other people to control. So when I had my own, I didn't parent in any way like she did. There were no "rules". I also had their mother, then my wife, that we didn't see eye to eye with on many aspects of life including what the kids should be doing and not doing.

My girls also grew up completely different than I did living out in the middle of nowhere with no one around. I grew up in suburbia where I had a whole neighborhood and 3 other neighborhoods full of kids to hang out with and of course get in trouble with.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

My kids are now out of the house, but at the time:

No dating before 13.
We would prefer if you don't drink underage, but if you do, call for a ride!
Your job is to work hard in school, so don't get a part time job.
No cellphone use at the table.

 

[amylevan]

Never say never?

We find that rules change as the kids grow and that different situations call for different measures.

Right now, no devices at the dinner table and they must charge in the kitchen overnight.

 

[slo]

No miscellaneous & unnecessary spending on our credit card (DD19 has her own card with our account). I like the Southwest points and all….but still no - LOL!

 

[BroadwayHermione5]

My kids are now out of the house, but at the time:

No dating before 13.
We would prefer if you don't drink underage, but if you do, call for a ride!
Your job is to work hard in school, so don't get a part time job.
No cellphone use at the table.

One of my summer theatre directors always said to us “I don’t care where or when, but if you are afraid to call your parents and are drunk or in trouble, call me. I don’t care if you’re 2 Hours away. I will come get you”. That stuck with me even though my parents were also the “call for a ride” type.

I can’t tell you how many of my friends they helped. And sometimes it was as simple as “I am not waiting for a train and want to be home asap”. No questions asked.

 

[jdb in AZ]

for example no relationships before 21

What teen (16 or older) is going to go along with that rule?

 

[tvguy]

No cell phone until they are 16 AND are driving.
No tattoos or piercings until 18, and then at your expense.
No concerts on school nights.
If you find yourself in a situation (drinking, etc) we will come pick you up with no questions asked.

My son is 35 now, didn't have any issues with him with these rules. We did tell him in College not to get a job, that we would cover all his expenses. His Junior year, under pressure from his girlfriend, he got a job. His grades fell forcing him to stay in College an additional year at a cost of about $50,000 in tuition and room and board. How much did he make in his job? $7,000! But it was a life lesson. And his girlfriend has been his wife for 6 years now, so it worked itself out, just with a price.

My daughter is 31 now, the no concerts on school nights were an issue for her at the time. She recently brought it up and said that in hindsight half of her wonders why we had the rule, and the other half of her wonders why she wanted to go to those concerts. She wanted tattoos and piercings, but two friends got them and one had an allergic reaction to the ink, and the other got an infection and she lost interest in that. She did get her ears pierced at 18. I think the holes have closed because she never wears earrings.

 

[NJlauren]

My kids are young, but no lying if you tel the truth we can figure it out together if you lie I can’t help you. Be nice and kind to others.

Those are my main rules, but also at the moment snacking as gotten out of control so we are putting in some general moderation rules are candy and tv.

 

[aprilgail]

Only "rule" I had was if you are going to drink or are anywhere and feel unsafe call or text me right away and I will be right there! Otherwise bedtime was up to her from the time she was little- she learned quickly that if you stay up to late you are still getting up for school and you will feel like crap all day. Same with what to wear- want to go out in 30 degree weather with just a sweatshirt- have at it but don't complain to me that you are cold, only took one time of that until she made sure to put on a coat if it was cold.

 

[Mysterian]

1. Never too early to find work as a chimney sweep.

2. No Crocs.

3. Polygraph sessions every two weeks.