leebee
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Sep 14, 1999
Hard question... change is hard.
Two years ago, DD/SIL and his young son (now 7.5) moved in with us. It's been a challenging adjustment for me (actually, for all of us). I've learned some stuff about myself that I wouldn't otherwise have recognized and changed. I think I am less authoritarian (?Not sure this is the word I want?), less "my home/my way of doing things" I guess is what I mean to say. I realized recently how much I like having them here, helping raise The Boy to take some of the stress off them, having the help around the house and their company. I realize that when they finally move out, it's going to be yet another hard change in my life. I love having them here.
I'm glad I am more relaxed about money. I grew up in a family of 4 kids. My dad died when we were all young, my mom had no idea of how to manage finances, and blew through the life insurance quickly. We were pretty broke most of the time, and it's warped my perception on spending. Why buy something that is bigger or better, when less will suffice? I am not saying to be wasteful, but for example, when we moved into this house, the fridge was already 20 years old, with a broken shelf and drawers that didn't stay on the runners. We kept it for another 20 years, because it worked and I wasn't willing to spend the money on a new fridge. We had the money, I just didn't see the need to replace the fridge. We finally replaced it a year ago, and I can't tell you how happy my new fridge makes me, and how much easier life is when you have an intact appliance that is big enough for use. That's just an example, but I've finally learned that it IS OK to spend some money, within reason of course, to upgrade things or to buy what you want (I'll buy something in an ugly color instead of the color I like, to save $1). This is a big change for me.
Won't go into detail, but DH and I made some changes to our personal/relationship outlook a few years ago. It's made it easier on both of us. Sometimes relationships don't change over the years, even though the people and circumstances do. Even though it was a hard conversation at the time, it was time for a change. We are both happier and more peaceful with our new understanding and view of our lives together, and our path forward through our senior years.
Two years ago, DD/SIL and his young son (now 7.5) moved in with us. It's been a challenging adjustment for me (actually, for all of us). I've learned some stuff about myself that I wouldn't otherwise have recognized and changed. I think I am less authoritarian (?Not sure this is the word I want?), less "my home/my way of doing things" I guess is what I mean to say. I realized recently how much I like having them here, helping raise The Boy to take some of the stress off them, having the help around the house and their company. I realize that when they finally move out, it's going to be yet another hard change in my life. I love having them here.
I'm glad I am more relaxed about money. I grew up in a family of 4 kids. My dad died when we were all young, my mom had no idea of how to manage finances, and blew through the life insurance quickly. We were pretty broke most of the time, and it's warped my perception on spending. Why buy something that is bigger or better, when less will suffice? I am not saying to be wasteful, but for example, when we moved into this house, the fridge was already 20 years old, with a broken shelf and drawers that didn't stay on the runners. We kept it for another 20 years, because it worked and I wasn't willing to spend the money on a new fridge. We had the money, I just didn't see the need to replace the fridge. We finally replaced it a year ago, and I can't tell you how happy my new fridge makes me, and how much easier life is when you have an intact appliance that is big enough for use. That's just an example, but I've finally learned that it IS OK to spend some money, within reason of course, to upgrade things or to buy what you want (I'll buy something in an ugly color instead of the color I like, to save $1). This is a big change for me.
Won't go into detail, but DH and I made some changes to our personal/relationship outlook a few years ago. It's made it easier on both of us. Sometimes relationships don't change over the years, even though the people and circumstances do. Even though it was a hard conversation at the time, it was time for a change. We are both happier and more peaceful with our new understanding and view of our lives together, and our path forward through our senior years.
I have feelings too it’s not all about you - a lot of people no longer will be sitting at my table - although this makes me sad what makes me sadder as the fact that they felt that they could treat me this way and it was OK nope! 
for another cute lamp I can place somewhere can’t hurt I’m getting old never enough light to see things 
I also am blessed with at least two other Disboard friend whose first name starts witj an L.
