The DIS Book Club Discussion Group: Round 3 - House Rules - CHAT JUNE 8 @ 8 P.M.

[kramer222]

Jacob's ability to understand that he is different and even refer to terms like autism and Asperger's surprises me. All of my students are somewhat young (fiffth grade), so I never had the experience of working with a child who knew he had this disorder. I find it refreshing and strange all at the same time.

Nikki:

I was caught off guard by this level of understanding, also. I guess at SOME point kids become aware of their condition. But Jacob's level of understanding was unnerving. Interesting.

 

[disneydreamgirl]

I also like Emma very much and while certainly her way of mothering Theo has affected him greatly, I wonder if I would have made the same choices. I'm a big fan of "everybody turns out okay in the end" for children who are going through adversity. I will say that I'm not sure about Theo's future at the point I have reached in the book, though. Back to Emma, though...her life is very difficult, constantly jumping from one emotion to another and never knowing what or when the next crisis will be. It must be so tough to just be praying for a "normal" day. While I agree that she could be held together by a thread, her actions suggest she copes unbelievably well and makes decisions that others would not have made so quickly and assuredly (such as calling Rich again once she has seen the TV report).

As for the writing style, I'm enjoying it. Giving the perspective of these characters is helpful for character development and for telling the story itself however it keeps my interest because I'm always looking for my questions to be answered and I have some after every "check-in" with each character. It adds to the suspense for me and makes me wonder what each character isn't revealing, relating not only to the story but also to their own feelings.

 

[peanut1967]

Nikki:

I was caught off guard by this level of understanding, also. I guess at SOME point kids become aware of their condition. But Jacob's level of understanding was unnerving. Interesting.

I remember many moons ago ( showing my age) I worked with young adults with all sorts of disabilities. One day I walked into a room where a group of young ladies were talking about how there disabiltie affects them, a young downs syndrome girl was going into great detail how it effects her life....it caught me off gaurd back then I was only17 at the time, bt it did wake me up and respect a little more.

When I met my dd ex boyfriend ( I talked about him in previous post) who has aspergers, I did ask him what he need us to do. He made a quite rude (as in sexual) comment at one point, and I had to tell him that was not appropraite, at that point I asked him how he would like me to deal with inapproiprate comments would he like me to tell him there and then or pull him aside, he wanted to be told there and then. And for those parents who have children with Aspergers Kudos to you I found it difficult when dd ex boyfriend was here in my home to remember to 'say it how it is'....I remember my mum saying to him 'do you have ants in your pants' you can image his face...that was something else to explain.

Angie

 

[Royster83]

Ok so I bought the book last Thursday and I've finished it last night I thought it was fantastic. Gonna start a few of the discussion points tomorrow (it's my day off.) I'm going to be really interested to hear the point of view from people who are directly affected by Aspergers.

Roy

 

[hmonkeyruns]

I was going to skip this round of book club but sombody at my office just gave me the book.

If I can find time to read it around the hockey playoffs (Go Flyers!) then I'll be sure to chime in soon.

JP is not my favorite author, but I have to admit that her books are always real page-turners so I think I'll probably finish it up quickly.

 

[disneydreamgirl]

Can't wait to hear opinions of events later in the book...having a hard time pacing myself. Great story and very emotional as I can't help but think about my nephew at times while reading. Normally I pass books on to my sister (it's a reciprocal library ) but I can't help but think this would be an extremely tough read for her.

Interesting how impressions of characters can change...I won't expand on this as I don't want to reveal any details. I'd hate to rob anyone of the important moments.

Discussion Point: The author has presented cases throughout the book...what are the reasons for this and how do you feel the case relates (if you feel it does) to the following cycle? For example: Case 1 is about a woman who appears to be something she is absolutely not...can we infer that a first impression of Emma, Theo, Jacob and/or Rich may be questioned later on?

I've just finished case 5 and it got me thinking...

 

[minie_meese]

I have the audio book and there are no Cases in it so it's really difficult to participate in any discussions on them without reading the full case - it's difficult but it won't stop me. I'm guessing the author has them in the book for discussion starters. It's unfortunate they're not in the audio book. From the short statement about people being something different from what they appeared, the only characters that I felt were significantly different than they appeared were intentionally hiding things - Theo with his breaking and entering homes and Jess who hid that she appeared to be a beaten woman. For both of them, the things they hid allowed them to experience a feeling of intimacy that they really needed, but with the hiding came consequences. For each of them there was pain associated with what they hid too. They were each able to avoid the pain but allowed it to continue.

I've been doing a lot of driving so I finished the book. The audio files are almost 20 hours.

Elaine

 

[peanut1967]

Well sadly I have finished the book, if theres one thing I will do with the next read is buy it instead of going to the library...I can highlight things then.

Looking forward to discussing some more.

Angie

 

[tmli]

I am almost finished the book and there has been more than one time where I thought I can't continue.

There were times where it was so emotional for me as a mom of an Aspie that I wasn't sure I could continue. Some of the things that happen in the book really are my biggest nightmares!

My son, at 14, does have an awareness of his condition and how it affects him and his relationships. I do think it is a fine line in helping him understand and giving him a crutch...I never want him to use his condition as an excuse to not try something or to not set goals for himself.

Aspergers is a spectrum and if Jacon was a 10 on that spectrum, my son would be a 5. That being said, I am especially enjoying reading Jacobs point of view. There have been a few times that reading his explanation in his voice as given me a better understanding of a characteristic I see in my son. Usually not to the same degree but the same none the less.

 

[robind]

I have the audio book and there are no Cases in it so it's really difficult to participate in any discussions on them without reading the full case - it's difficult but it won't stop me. I'm guessing the author has them in the book for discussion starters. It's unfortunate they're not in the audio book. From the short statement about people being something different from what they appeared, the only characters that I felt were significantly different than they appeared were intentionally hiding things - Theo with his breaking and entering homes and Jess who hid that she appeared to be a beaten woman. For both of them, the things they hid allowed them to experience a feeling of intimacy that they really needed, but with the hiding came consequences. For each of them there was pain associated with what they hid too. They were each able to avoid the pain but allowed it to continue.

I've been doing a lot of driving so I finished the book. The audio files are almost 20 hours.

Elaine

That's odd, my audio version has the cases.

This is the second JP book I've read, the first was My Sister's Keeper. I find that in both books the mothers are very similar in that they give all their support and care to the child with that has special needs to the detriment of her other child. This turns me off towards those characters.

 

[Tinkerkell123]

Finally got a copy today! First JP book and it grabbed me right away! Note to self, buy more of her books. I am afraid the DH is going to be somewhat ignored this weekend...

I am almost at the end of case #2...

Emma: Can not imagine her life as a single mom. As my DH lost his job a year ago I have been single mommy while he works out of town. That was hard enough with just regular old kids. Emma's whole life revolves around keeping Jacob on an even keel. I feel like she treats Theo more as another caregiver (peer?) than a son. Obviously, he feels that his real home is not a true HOME and is searching for that. I think Emma tries to do some family bonding stuff, like reading the letters out loud, but it isn't all that successful.

Jacob: I just love this guy! As a mom, I so want him to be normal for his sake, but he is who he is. I think he wants to have a relationship with Theo, but doesn't know how. Not knowing anyone with asperger's I wonder if his self awareness is usual for someone with that. Would I mind or be bothered if my DD or DS brought home a friend or girl/boyfriend with aspergers? No.

I do think someone with asperger's might be the only person who would tell me if I really do look fat in these jeans... Goodness knows, you ask any DH and they just say, you look fine!

Theo: Wow! I kind of feel like he grew up without a dad or mom. I know Emma loves him, but he seems to kind of get left out in the cold a lot. Has to change everything for Jacob and as I said above, his mom seems to see him more as an assistant caregiver. I think he had to grow up VERY fast and missed out on a lot of "mommy time" that kids just need... My heart hurts for him.

I think I am going to like Oliver...

It just steams me to no end when Emma talks about all the meds & supplements Jacob has to take that (naturally) insurance won't pay a dime for. I am not surprised but I know it's like that in real life too and it is just not right...

going to go read more and try not to stay up all night doing so!!

Kelli

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I really don't understand the entire sandwiching of sections with these case descriptions. I was actually going to ask about that in a future discussion topic, but let's do that now. Any thoughts on why they are included? I can't really find any connection between them and the major developments in the chapters they come before. What is their purpose? Do they have any meaning in terms of plot development?

 

[Tinkerkell123]

I really don't understand the entire sandwiching of sections with these case descriptions. I was actually going to ask about that in a future discussion topic, but let's do that now. Any thoughts on why they are included? I can't really find any connection between them and the major developments in the chapters they come before. What is their purpose? Do they have any meaning in terms of plot development?

I have only read 3 so far, but it seems to me like the people who have been murdered in those case studies have been murdered by someone they should have been able to trust. That's all I have figured so far. And, of course, that stuff is Jacob's main interest. It can't just be that though...

 

[peanut1967]

I really don't understand the entire sandwiching of sections with these case descriptions. I was actually going to ask about that in a future discussion topic, but let's do that now. Any thoughts on why they are included? I can't really find any connection between them and the major developments in the chapters they come before. What is their purpose? Do they have any meaning in terms of plot development?

It falls into place at the end of the book...I wont go into detail.
Angie

 

[kramer222]

It falls into place at the end of the book...I wont go into detail.
Angie

I'll have to take your word for it. I can't find any huge connection either, other than this is Jacob's main interest and his devotion to Crimebusters is... well, I should stop as we aren't to Section 2 yet.

I find these small case studies very interesting. What they have to do with the storytelling, however, I do not know.

 

[kramer222]

Also, has anyone watched this Parenthood show on NBC? Peter Krause's child has Asperger's Syndrome and in a recent episode there was some talk about how to tell a child they are different, when children grasp that fact, etc. Kind of interesting (and somewhat relevant to our book discussion). The rest of the show is pretty good, too. Check it out if you get a chance.

 

[eeyorelvr09]

I love that show! I saw this weeks show and how the father subtly gave their award in honor of Max. I think that kids know when they are "different" in respects to the autism spectrum. In relation to the book, I feel that Jacob is embracing it.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I have never seen that show, but vaguely remember hearing about it. I'll have to be on the lookout for it!

 

[disneydreamgirl]

Tried to pace myself, but finished the book this morning. Had a great discussion with DH afterward and look forward to discussions with all of you.

I am hooked on Parenthood...great show (have a not so secret crush on Peter Krause, he's great in everything I've ever seen him in). Anyone who wants to start watching it, I'm betting you could watch back episodes on line or they'll replay in the summer...one of our networks in Canada has them available on its website. I can relate to their close-knit, sometimes mired in conflict, family and the funny moments have me bursting out laughing.

 

[eeyorelvr09]

I have never seen that show, but vaguely remember hearing about it. I'll have to be on the lookout for it!

It's on Tuesdays at 10 on NBC. This week is the season finale. I have no doubt that you can get it on the Internet.