Thanks, I Hate It - Disney by non-Disney Fans (DUN)

[dreamer17555]

I am sympathetic to the SIL in that regard, but it sounds like she was pretty nasty to the OP on at least one occasion. I mean, sure, be disappointed that your BIL drank your last Bud Light Lime that you were planning on having, but you don't have to actually scream at him, especially in front of both your families.

Personally I don't think it is okay to help yourself to something that someone else bought and the bare minimum would be replacing it if you didn't ask if it was okay in the first place.

 

[Pmccarthy]

So, on your Universal day, you had to cut the day short so your mom could give them all a ride to the airport?

Basically, yes.

 

[Pmccarthy]

Personally I don't think it is okay to help yourself to something that someone else bought and the bare minimum would be replacing it if you didn't ask if it was okay in the first place.

We weren't aware that it was hers. It was the only beer in the fridge, so we assumed that it was for everyone. I can understand her frustration (she probably needed the booze as much as we did), but it was an honest mistake.

 

[Tatum20]

Personally I don't think it is okay to help yourself to something that someone else bought and the bare minimum would be replacing it if you didn't ask if it was okay in the first place.

He did, and screaming at your family member over beer seems a pretty extreme overreaction to me. Since there were three families staying at the house, they probably considered the fridge community property.

 

[disneyseniors]

I totally agree with your assessment of Universal. We hadn't been for a while and went for one day while at disney. Wow, the difference made us go back for more days each trip. Now with the changes at disney, we are also not going back! We are going to Universal from now on. It is so fun to do what you want when you want and even ride attractions back to back if you want - it's all included in your park fee. You can eat where and when you want to. I love the attractions and haven't seen them all yet. Universal is the way a vacation should be, IMO, just relaxed and fun! Hope you have a great time at Universal next trip.

 

[dreamer17555]

He did, and screaming at your family member over beer seems a pretty extreme overreaction to me. Since there were three families staying at the house, they probably considered the fridge community property.

Replacing only after a confrontation is not the same as replacing before. If you have ever lived with roommates you know the rule is if you didn’t buy it- ask before taking.

 

[Tatum20]

Replacing only after a confrontation is not the same as replacing before. If you have ever lived with roommates you know the rule is if you didn’t buy it- ask before taking.

As he already explained, the parents had treated for the trip and he assumed they had bought groceries for the house, to be consumed by everyone. And screaming at someone is never advised.

 

[Pmccarthy]

Replacing only after a confrontation is not the same as replacing before. If you have ever lived with roommates you know the rule is if you didn’t buy it- ask before taking.

As he already explained, the parents had treated for the trip and he assumed they had bought groceries for the house, to be consumed by everyone. And screaming at someone is never advised.

Alright you two, enough about the beer incident. Let's just agree that everybody sucked in that moment and move on.

 

[VandVsmama]

Traveling with large groups be tricky at best!

So lessons learned we all learned from your epic trip report:

• don't ever travel with OP's SIL, especially when it's her 1st time to WDW.
• get separate sleeping accommodations from OP's SIL.
• don't ever use Tammy as your travel agent ever again.
• make sure before a Disney or Universal trip that you have your park tickets loaded into the appropriate apps on your phone ahead of time and linked to your own Disney/Universal account.
• don't ever use Tammy as your travel agent. EVER!
• count your blessings that you didn't get the stomach flu from them at the beginning of the trip!
• Maybe travel with Grandma, but not your brother's family, to WDW or Universal.
• Your ability to improvise & adapt saved at least part of your trip.
• Time outs from cranky & problematic family members is helpful. Even adults need a 'time out' sometimes.

 

[AnnabelleTheTalkingTree]

After reading (and loving!) your whole trip report, I just feel the need to say that while your SIL definitely sounds like a bit much, I honestly can relate a little. I'm the planner for my extended family vacation and it's A LOT of work, and A LOT of pressure. Disney does require planning and when you're the one to figure it all out, it can feel like everyone's good time rests on your shoulders. Add in the challenges of Genie+, and crowds, and unpredictable kiddos, and I can imagine that she would have been testy/stressed. Especially considering it was her first trip, too. It sounds to me that you probably have pre-existing issues with her anyway which might have colored your perception of the situation, but I can't help but feel some sympathy for her, knowing how much work she would have put in only to have it turn out so terribly.

Of course, Disney isn't for everyone. It's not a trip where I bank on getting alone time with my husband or tons of down time in general. If you ever gather the courage to go again, I'd suggest not going as part of a large group, or at least getting a completely separate room from the rest of the group. I'd suggest staying on property if at all possible, and I'd suggest staying a few extra days so you'd have some days to dedicate to just relaxing at the pool.

 

[CaptainAmerica]

Personally I don't think it is okay to help yourself to something that someone else bought and the bare minimum would be replacing it if you didn't ask if it was okay in the first place.

Fridge beer is for everyone.

 

[Ohiostatefan606]

Fridge beer is for everyone.

I do love that we are all obsessed with the beer situation.

 

[Pmccarthy]

I do love that we are all obsessed with the beer situation.

I like the priorities around here.

 

[Tatum20]

It sounds to me that you probably have pre-existing issues with her anyway which might have colored your perception of the situation, but I can't help but feel some sympathy for her, knowing how much work she would have put in only to have it turn out so terribly.

Yeah, I was just thinking about that. I agree with the Disney vets who say it's best to just plan a few things (like 3 max, maybe 2) per day so you're not running your family ragged or super disappointed and frustrated when your carefully made plans fall apart because a ride broke down or you did not get the Genie + that you wanted or your kids had a meltdown and wouldn't get in the car and threw your times off- but then again- for someone who isn't going to Disney with any regularity, who might feel that have ONE shot to get everything in, that may be a difficult philosophy to embrace. I mean, I could totally see feeling cheated that you spent $8K (just to throw a number out there) and you didn't even get to ride some of the headliners and you're not going back any time soon, if ever. There really is no easy solution as long as it costs over $100 per person, per day (and if you have a shorter stay park hopper, more like $200 per person per day) just to walk in the door.

I do feel sorry for anyone who spent all that time planning and strategizing just for everyone to unanimously decide the trip wasn't that great. Maybe it's more of a know your audience thing. Those were ambitious plans for anyone, let alone someone traveling with toddlers and extended family.

 

[Turksmom]

Fridge beer is for everyone.

Right- the beer you don't want to share stays in the cooler or mini fridge in the bedroom

 

[Carol_]

Screaming is caring in my family. Nobody takes it personally. It’s a cultural difference.
Sorry, let me access that bloodline for a moment:
IT’S A CULTURAL DIFFERENCE!

 

[disney-inspired]

I feel your pain, OP.

~ 3-4 yr ago, we took Grandma (my MIL) to Disneyland. She hadn't been in about 40 years. Had a bucket list item to eat at the Blue Bayou. We drove from AZ to Anaheim and chauffeured Grandma the whole way. Like you, we learned a lot on that trip...stuff like:

• Going to Disney parks with certain people, especially certain family members can be a hassle like you've never experienced before.
• If you're too blind to be able to legally drive a car anymore, you also shouldn't rent a scooter.
• Grandma will ride right over my kids' feet multiple times and laugh about it.
• Grandma refused for years to get hearing aids (she finally reneged this past year and declared, "Oh! I can finally hear everybody now!"), so you'll spend the entire trip shouting at her. There were times when we'd shout the instructions at her, tell her where we were all headed next, she'd nod, and then take off in the blessed scooter at break neck speed in the opposite direction. She went so fast that my kids had to SPRINT to catch up to her.
• Grandma will shop for herself & her friends, but not once buy even a popcorn or a Mickey ice cream bar for my kids.
• Grandma won't chip in $20 for gas.
• Grandma won't treat anybody to a meal for putting up with the nonsense for 4 days. Perfectly happy to eat her blessed lunch at the Blue Bayou with just my DH (we didn't have the budget to pay for the 4 of us in our immediate family to eat there on that trip).
• Grandma will accidentally steal somebody else's scooter after the blessed Blue Bayou meal (she rented it from Deckert's...they're great, btw, will deliver to hotel), then when Deckert's called DH and explained what was going on and they then met up with the other disabled person whose scooter she stole (an elderly woman who was beside herself, in tears, thinking that she'd be charged thousands of $$ for the stolen scooter), Grandma laughed at the woman.
• Grandma will lose her ID months before the trip, but won't say anything about it until the day before we all leave for the trip and then panic because she can't check into her hotel room without a legal ID (and no, a temporary one from the DMV wouldn't work...we called the hotel and checked).

And you know what? About 45 min into the drive home, my DH stupidly blurts out, "Hey Mom, do you want to go again next year?"

The kids & I were, inside our heads, shouting out 'NOOOOO!!!!!'

Even my SIL (DH's sister) won't go to a Disney park with her mother. So I told DH that he can do it again if he wants to, but the kids and I aren't going. LOL!

And no, he hasn't taken Grandma-Runs-Over-People-With-Her-Scooter back to Disneyland since then.

May the Force be with you on the rest of your trip! I read some of your trip report out loud to my DH. We were both in stitches over it!

That sounds like a nightmare. omg.

BONUS DAY 2: EPCOT

Finally, time for the wife and I to partake in something that this trip has been desperately lacking; alone time. We're still weary from getting dragged and slagged across the Magic Kingdom, so we focus our attention on Future World. Or whatever parts of it aren't blocked by construction barricades. We never left World Showcase during our honeymoon, so this is all new to us. Plus, it's right there when you walk in. Kinda hard to miss.

The SIL recommended Nemo & Friends, so we swing by there first. Ten minute wait, although those ten minutes are spent speeding around empty switchbacks. Whiplash, courtesy of Disney.

Next up is Living with the Land. Twenty minute wait. Better yet, I don't feel obligated to spend that time glued to my phone planning our next move. I can be in the moment. Leave the apps and spreadsheets to the SIL and her small army of adorable 3' hooligans.

This is the Disney of my honeymoon. I don't need to wrack my rage-addled brain analyzing opportunity costs. I wanna do something in the parks? Hell yeah son, this is your party; you do that thing!

I'm finally having fun.

Oh, but we can't overlook the festival food. Our diet is no longer shackled by a woman who thinks a "adventurous pallete" stops at ordering the spicy nuggets from Wendy's. Spoon bread, pork belly, chorizo, rich and decadent mole sauce. I get to imbibe a alcoholic beverage that doesn't taste like it was brewed for Jimmy Buffet cover bands!

We want more, but I can feel the concrete vibrating further past my ankles with each step. Not that we mind. For the first time on this trip we got to experience the Disney that we remember.

DAY 3: UNIVERSAL

I def felt the different vibes at Universal. I think we're going to prioritize that in our next family vacation.
Hope you and the wife get a do over couples trip.

 

[disney-inspired]

What a wild ride but so very entertaining.

I planned a trip for 9 of us (ages varying between 15 months to 61) and we went in January. Thankfully it wasn't my first time and I kept the planning to a minimum - basically which parks and what days and 1 sit down meal. Other than that it was very much vaya con Dios planning. Let me just say - I rarely saw my parents on that trip - mostly because the decided to do their own thing.

I have trip with friends planned for next year but there will only be 3 of us and we're all adults - I'm VERY much looking forward to it.

 

[serenitynow]

We weren't aware that it was hers. It was the only beer in the fridge, so we assumed that it was for everyone. I can understand her frustration (she probably needed the booze as much as we did), but it was an honest mistake.

I disagree. If you are on a group trip, everything in the kitchen, food & drink, condiments and the like belongs to the group. If you need a particular beverage either buy a ton of it to share, or keep it in a cooler in your room. There is no “my” on essentials for a group vacation, it’s “ours”. Just my opinion and family rules.

I included “condiments” because I once attended a family reunion where someone lost their mind because the kids were using the fancy German mustard they had brought on their hot dogs. Some family spirit to exhibit to the little ones.

 

[disney-inspired]

I disagree. If you are on a group trip, everything in the kitchen, food & drink, condiments and the like belongs to the group. If you need a particular beverage either buy a ton of it to share, or keep it in a cooler in your room. There is no “my” on essentials for a group vacation, it’s “ours”. Just my opinion and family rules.

I included “condiments” because I once attended a family reunion where someone lost their mind because the kids were using the fancy German mustard they had brought on their hot dogs. Some family spirit to exhibit to the little ones.

I agree - especially with family. It's not like they're just acquaintances.