Thanks, I Hate It - Disney by non-Disney Fans (DUN)

Pmccarthy said:
(we're back home...)

DAY 3: UNIVERSAL

I'm the first one in the house to wake. The child launches into a meltdown because the pool is too cold. My wife says that her ankle has seized up and she's not sure if she'll be able to walk. It's too early for this crap. There's orange juice in the fridge, but no vodka. I dare not touch the Bud Light Lime, more for my personal wellbeing than because it tastes like cockatiel urine.

My brother's family are flying out later, so they're going to enjoy a pool day. I didn't even know such a thing was in my SIL's vocabulary. My mother will be joining us, probably to get a break from the drill sergeant.

A lovely 1.5 hour drive along scenic I-4 and we reach Universal.

Our (non-Dreams) travel agent booked the tickets for us, so we head to will call. We can't find our order number, and after much consternation the employee is able to find the reservation. One tiny problem though; the tickets were dated for yesterday. Great, another detour to Guest Services. When we reach the counter, the poor woman says that she can't find our tickets in the system. Then what the hell was I holding in my hand a few seconds ago?!

Two and a half hours after leaving the house, we finally enter Islands of Adventure.

A pox upon everyone woman in this world named Tammy. Your innocence matters not.

The child comes alive at the sight of Seuss Landing. The books we've read to her countless times have physically manifested before her. But I'm distracted by something else; Green Eggs and Ham Cafe is open. THIS IS NOT A DRILL; GREEN EGGS AND HAM IS OFFICIALLY OPEN!! I warmly suggest that the rest of the group go explore the Seuss maze, but in truth I just want to buy myself some time to acquire Who Hash. I also grab some pizza tots for the rest of the group to enjoy. The child is torn between rides and tots, but the sweet siren's song of crispy potatoes smothered in cheese wins out. No paternity test required, she's definitely mine.

The wife comes alive at the sight of Hogsmeade. She's a MASSIVE Harry Potter fan, and the HP stuff was under construction when we were here for our honeymoon. I hold back a tear for the demise of Jaws. The lines for Butter Beer stretch well beyond the confines of the space. I do enjoy my food, but don't like butterscotch to that extent. We stumble upon a kiosk for wands. The child has never seen nor read Harry Potter, so her first instinct is to grab the Voldemort bone. Again, no paternity test needed. We manage to coax her toward choosing Hermione.

It's at this point that we notice the enemy to all mankind; the sun. We hail from a land of ice and snow. The burning ball in the sky is foreign to us. Our excursion quickly devolves into scampering between meager spots of shade and drink kiosks. Lady Dasani is making a killing small fortune off us today.

We want to experience the Hogwarts express, so we double back. A sixty minute wait? Fine, I'm too broken to argue. But what's this? Shade? Fans? MIST?! Oh, you sweet magnificent bastards! And there's free wifi?! Universal, you filthy girl.

They cram us into the tiny train cabin. The strangers with us are either trying to entertain the child, or they're just as ignorant about Harry Potter as she is. Could go either way.

We disembark and head into Diagon Alley. We told the child to expect a dragon on top of the building. What I wasn't expecting was that it would be enveloping the whole building. My mother makes it halfway up the street before she notices. Okay, maybe we need a paternity test for this one. Our group somehow misses every opportunity to catch the lizard breathing fire.

My mother reminds us that they need to leave soon. The brother's family are heading to the airport and don't want to check the car seats, so guess who gets to cart the safety harnesses back to Ohio? Even when she's not here, my SIL still finds ways to sabotage my enjoyment. But we don't mind; we have a dinner reservation. Yes, I booked MY OWN reservation months ago. See Tammy, is that so hard?

Wife and I sit down for a meal at Toothsome. The walk-about characters are upon us before our drinks arrive. They riff about digital cryptography, which lifts what little remains of my engineering spirit. The food is forgettable, but the cost of the meal is well worth the opportunity to relax and rehydrate.

The two of us head back into the park with full intentions to close it down for the night. Our competitive natures won't allow us to skip Men in Black. The ride breaks down just as we exit the faux elevator. I don't even know why I try anymore. We agree to wander the parks and take in the sights, but the day star has beaten us. Every body part below my nipples screeches in agony.

We head back to the house early. Tomorrow we leave, and we can put this trip behind us.
Click to expand...
Wait, no Hagrids???? That's by far the best ride at Universal!

I guess I don't understand how it is different if YOU check your SIL's carseats vs. if they do, except that you will have the privilege of paying for them because you won't have enough kids with you. Also if they were too busy to pick you guys up from the airport why did she expect you to drop everything to pick up their *carseats*??? She really does seem like a piece of work.

We have an extended family trip coming up this fall and I must say, reading your trip report is making me nervous!
 
DAY 4: DISNEY SPRINGS/TRAVEL #2

We waste no time packing the car. My mother informs us that my brother's flight was delayed three hours. I have no sympathy to spare.

Our flight doesn't leave until the evening, so we need to find some way to waste more time. We head to Disney Springs to meet up with my wife's lifelong friend. Somehow we didn't know until now that she's a Disney cast member. I offer my apologies, for what little they matter. But more importantly, we have a Disney expert in our group. I can shut down my brain and wait for the caffeine to kick in. Somebody besides my SIL can take point for a while.

We head to World of Disney to pick out souvenirs. I'm little more than a walking shopping cart. The child wants her own Minnie ears? Sure. A puzzle of the stretching room from Haunted Mansion? Fine. A Zero shoulder buddy? Cute. The umpteenth stuffie from this trip? Whatevs. The trinkets keep manifesting in my hands, I do not know from where. It's not until checkout that something is amiss. Wait, how many digits in the total? WARNING! WARNING! GET THAT BRAIN BOOTED BACK UP, STAT!

My wallet lighter but my hands heavier, we grab a bite to eat from Chicken Guy. It's good. Way more subdued than anything I'd expect from Guy "FLAVORTOWN!!!!" Fieri.

The child begins to whine about her feet. Me too offspring, but we must press on. Time will not kill itself, but I wish it could.

The complaints from the little one continue to build. I offer to buy a milkshake to calm her. My daughter eagerly asks for strawberry, and I quickly remind that she always asks for strawberry even though she HATES strawberry. She settles on chocolate. Two sips later and she decides she doesn't like chocolate either. My smile masks the screaming on the inside.

We head to the Dole Whip stand. They should have vanilla, and the pineapple will sate my fury. The cast member tells us they're out of lemon. I inquire if they have vanilla. She happily confirms that yes, they do indeed offer the most inoffensive flavor. We reach the counter. The vanilla soft serve machine is broken. The cast member's betrayal stings deeper than my sunburn.

Is this hell? I'm convinced that I died at some point on this trip, and I'll be trapped in Walt's legacy for the rest of eternity. Did I smack my head on the hill for Pirates? If that's the case, I can only hope my corpse defecated all over the bench before they hauled it away.

We've all reached our limit. We head to the airport. We've arrived too early, and we need to wait nine minutes before we can check our bag. The nexus of suffering refuses to let us escape.

The flight is a welcome moment of calm. I spend it watching Mad Max: Fury Road, a grim reminder of the trip that I've just completed.

We reach our destination. Six flights must all share a single baggage claim. They graciously open a second, but can't decide which flights will be dumped on the belt. A hundred tired travelers groan in unison with each announcement. The shared disappointment makes me feel as though I'm not alone in this world.

As theme park veterans, we were vigilant about taking photos of our parking spots throughout this trip. Unfortunately, we forgot to take ONE. I run around in the rain, pounding the car alarm button praying to hear a honk. If my little hatchback is buried underneath some lifted pickup truck, it would be the cherry on top of this turd sundae.

The drive home is uneventful. The gas station is uneventful. The gas station hot dogs, while a poor life decision, are also uneventful. Uneventful is good. Uneventful can't hurt me.

I let out an audible grunt when I crash on the couch.

It's finally over.

FINAL THOUGHTS
 
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I still can't get over how your SIL, with 3 children in car seats, made you & your crew check her car seats as your own luggage for the flight home.

Were you flying on Southwest whereas she might have flown on a flight where you have to pay to check luggage?

Like your SIL, I, too, am an uber Disney trip planner, but oh my gosh, the entitlement is strong with that one! Given the other nonsense she did earlier in the trip, there would be a snowball's chance in you know where that I would go on an extended family trip with her ever again!

You, your wife, and The Child totally need a Do Over trip. A trip that does not involve any extended family. A trip where you can preferably stay on site instead of in a shared AirBNB house off site. And a trip where you use a Dreams Unlimited Travel agent instead of Terrible Tammy!
 
Small point of clarification;

My mother drove to Florida, and subsequently drove back home with the car seats in tow. Nobody had to check them for a flight. My SIL is still the worst, just *slightly* less so in this case.

I've updated the original post to make this more clear.
 
And this is why I won’t do a major trip with my whole family on either side. I plan a pretty good trip. Just got back yesterday with my family plus my parents. The thought of going with my brothers and their wives and kids makes me want to hurl. I’ll do a beach vacation where planning isn’t a requirement with them, but something this organized requires smaller groups.
 
Mac, so sorry that your family trip turned out to be a problem.
We took one family trip with my daughter, soninlaw, 2 young boys (daughter was 6 months pregnant!), my son and his daughter. We all got together in the am in the resort dining room and decided where we were going at disney that day. Amazingly, we all stayed together at the parks and had a blast! That was before the new regime with their reservation system. Ugh! We had absolutely no problems and it is one of my favorite disney trip memories. I just wanted to give a good report about a big family trip, LOL.
I hope your next trip is just the 3 of you so you don't have to deal with all the drama.
 
If you've made it this far, thank you. I only hope that you got a good chuckle from my misfortune.

YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW IS THE WORST

I could have told you that WELL before the cursed words "family Disney vacation" were ever muttered.

Here's the thing though; SHE WAS MISERABLE. She told us as much our first morning in Orlando, completely unprompted.

I thought that she'd been to WDW before and was doing all this for her kids. I was wrong; this was also HER first visit. She was doing all of this for herself, and the family was along for the ride. She was hell bent on squeezing every memory and ounce of value out of this trip by planning out every minute of every day, but at what cost? All this "magic" turned her into a miserable husk of a human being (well, more than usual). And she wasn't alone. By 1pm every family that I saw in matching t-shirts were reduced to scowling zombies, shambling from one ride to the next no matter how large the group. "Once in a lifetime" is a condemnation.

My brother put it best when he explicitly called this a "trip," not a "vacation." They didn't fly halfway across the country to relax. And that's just... sad.

She didn't have to be such a *****, but then again something about glass houses. I dunno, I'm not an architect.

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD

Outside of just being exhausted at the end of each day, our daughter thought that this was the best trip ever. Her highlights tended to change every time we asked, but top four were generally:
- Swimming in the pool
- The Little Mermaid Ride
- The Gorilla trail at Animal Kingdom
- Hanging out with family

Two of those didn't require Disney, one is akin to a trip the zoo. As for the last one, I could probably pay a local actress to dress up in a tail and clamshell bikini and talk to the child for half an hour to the same effect. Said actress would probably think I was a massive pervert based on the request, but that's beside the point.

Our daughter would have been satisfied with any trip that involved a pool and family. We didn't have to drop ~$400/day per person for tickets/room/board for her to be happy.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I've been struggling with how much of this disastrous trip was due to family, how much was just plain old rotten luck, and how much was because Disney just isn't fun anymore. As an outside party, you're free to point the blame at whichever culprit you see fit.

I have been fortunate enough to visit Disney World about once per decade. Not a lot of people can say that much. And I have some great memories from those trips. But those memories are starting to tarnish.

Every time we were on Disney property it felt like the company was creating artificial barriers to our enjoyment. I get it; the lines are designed to eat people and increase capacity. But when the lines are starting to hit one to two hours long, even just to grab lunch, when do you stop? There's nothing to do at Disney besides food and rides! Genie+ is a bandaid to the problem that just so happens to help Disney's bottom line. So do you head back to the hotel for an overpriced pool day, and make a mental note to do that thing "next time?" What happens when next time is ten years away at best?

By contrast, Universal was fun, and that's not just because my SIL was out of the picture. It was just a better place to BE. I had more fun looking at all the details for the marquee to Kong than anything on offer at the Magic Kingdom. I didn't feel pressured at UO to jump on any rides just to make the experience worthwhile. THAT'S my idea of a vacation; be in the moment, and be spontaneous. That's something I feel WDW doesn't even attempt to offer anymore.

People in this thread have been commenting that we need a do-over. You'll be happy to know that the wife and I are already talking about another trip, just the three of us, in a few years... to Universal. We're done with Disney. And we'll be sure to use a Dreams Unlimited agent this time.

-Mac

(My wife has been following along with many of you reading this thread, even though she experienced it all right there beside me. I think she wants to add her own thoughts, so keep an eye out for that)
 
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theMoreDisneytheBetter said:
Wait, no Hagrids???? That's by far the best ride at Universal!

I guess I don't understand how it is different if YOU check your SIL's carseats vs. if they do, except that you will have the privilege of paying for them because you won't have enough kids with you. Also if they were too busy to pick you guys up from the airport why did she expect you to drop everything to pick up their *carseats*??? She really does seem like a piece of work.

We have an extended family trip coming up this fall and I must say, reading your trip report is making me nervous!
Click to expand...
Be afraid, be very afraid 😳
 
Pmccarthy said:
If you've made it this far, thank you. I only hope that you got a good chuckle from my misfortune.

YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW IS THE WORST

I could have told you that WELL before the cursed words "family Disney vacation" were ever muttered.

Here's the thing though; SHE WAS MISERABLE. She told us as much our first morning in Orlando, completely unprompted.

I thought that she'd been to WDW before and was doing all this for her kids. I was wrong; this was also HER first visit. She was doing all of this for herself, and the family was along for the ride. She was hell bent on squeezing every memory and ounce of value out of this trip by planning out every minute of every day, but at what cost? All this "magic" turned her into a miserable husk of a human being (well, more than usual). And she wasn't alone. By 1pm every family that I saw in matching t-shirts were reduced to scowling zombies, shambling from one ride to the next no matter how large the group. "Once in a lifetime" is a condemnation.

My brother put it best when he explicitly called this a "trip," not a "vacation." They didn't fly halfway across the country to relax. And that's just... sad.

She didn't have to be such a *****, but then again something about glass houses. I dunno, I'm not an architect.

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD

Outside of just being exhausted at the end of each day, our daughter thought that this was the best trip ever. Her highlights tended to change every time we asked, but top four were generally:
- Swimming in the pool
- The Little Mermaid Ride
- The Gorilla trail at Animal Kingdom
- Hanging out with family

Two of those didn't require Disney, one is akin to a trip the zoo. As for the last one, I could probably pay a local actress to dress up in a tail and clamshell bikini and talk to the child for half an hour to the same effect. Said actress would probably think I was a massive pervert based on the request, but that's beside the point.

Our daughter would have been satisfied with any trip that involved a pool and family. We didn't have to drop ~$400/day per person for tickets/room/board for her to be happy.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I've been struggling with how much of this disastrous trip was due to family, how much was just plain old rotten luck, and how much was because Disney just isn't fun anymore. As an outside party, you're free to point the blame at whichever culprit you see fit.

I have been fortunate enough to visit Disney World about once per decade. Not a lot of people can say that much. And I have some great memories from those trips. But those memories are starting to tarnish.

Every time we were on Disney property it felt like the company was creating artificial barriers to our enjoyment. I get it; the lines are designed to eat people and increase capacity. But when the lines are starting to hit one to two hours long, even just to grab lunch, when do you stop? There's nothing to do at Disney besides food and rides! Genie+ is a bandaid to the problem that just so happens to help Disney's bottom line. So do you head back to the hotel for an overpriced pool day, and make a mental note to do that thing "next time?" What happens when next time is ten years away at best?

By contrast, Universal was fun, and that's not just because my SIL was out of the picture. It was just a better place to BE. I had more fun looking at all the details for the marquee to Kong than anything on offer at the Magic Kingdom. I didn't feel pressured at UO to jump on any rides just to make the experience worthwhile. THAT'S my idea of a vacation; be in the moment, and be spontaneous. That's something I feel WDW doesn't even attempt to offer anymore.

People in this thread have been commenting that we need a do-over. You'll be happy to know that the wife and I are already talking about another trip, just the three of us, in a few years... to Universal. We're done with Disney. And we'll be sure to use a Dreams Unlimited agent this time.

-Mac

(My wife has been following along with many of you reading this thread, even though she experienced it all right there beside me. I think she wants to add her own thoughts, so keep an eye out for that)
Click to expand...
You did great - you made it to the end. The one and only time we did a similar trip, I was trying to book a ticket home halfway through the trip. And had Southwest had any available seats out of Orlando, I would have been outta there!
 
Pmccarthy said:
Two of those didn't require Disney, one is akin to a trip the zoo. As for the last one, I could probably pay a local actress to dress up in a tail and clamshell bikini and talk to the child for half an hour to the same effect. Said actress would probably think I was a massive pervert based on the request, but that's beside the point.
Click to expand...

Hee, several years ago my family was in line to meet Rapunzel at MK and another family was right behind us- two middle aged parents and their school aged children. Dad pulls a camera out when it's their turn, and I think he is either going to take a picture of his wife and kids with Rapunzel or maybe draft another guest to take the picture so it includes of all of them. Nope, Dad hands the camera to his wife and has a picture taken of just him and Rapunzel. Niiice.

Pmccarthy said:
She was hell bent on squeezing every memory and ounce of value out of this trip by planning out every minute of every day, but at what cost? All this "magic" turned her into a miserable husk of a human being (well, more than usual). And she wasn't alone. By 1pm every family that I saw in matching t-shirts were reduced to scowling zombies, shambling from one ride to the next no matter how large the group. "Once in a lifetime" is a condemnation
Click to expand...

You know, if she hadn't yelled at you over the Bud Light Limes and just been unpleasant to you in general, I would actually feel really sorry for her. She clearly felt like the trip would be squandered if she didn't maximize every opportunity, and she set herself up for failure going during one of the peak times of the year and dragging her young children along, who probably would have much preferred a resort pool and Mickey bars over jumping on every blessed attraction in four different parks.

I still think Disney is fun, but it definitely isn't for everyone, and those that do go should definitely either travel with like minded people, or just figure out maybe 2-3 must dos for the day. I would have no problem being a park commando and planning a minute by minute itinerary of the day, but I would not try this with my kids or husband, and certainly not with my inlaws.
 
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I just came back from WDW in February 2022. I visited both WDW and Universal. I had been to both multiple times. It was crowded, but not spring break crowded. all my family HATED Universal. CM there are rude for the most part, could not care less about customer service. Rides are bad to mediocre, with half rides being just simulators. their food is trash, specially QS.

I will not go back to Universal until they open super Nintendo world.

My advice is: go to WDW during "low season". I would never go to WDW during peak months. just not worth it IMHO. Sorry you had a bad experience.
 
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Your SIL sounds like a "treat" but Disney does alot to a person when they are the "planner". I had to book a 6 person vacation. My dad and his wife used a bad travel agent. Idk if the name was Tammy or not :p. And I booked the rest for my Mom,DS,DH and me. Both my mom and sons first times.

I booked all the fast passes and made one table service reservation for all 6 daily. If people wanted to go do there own thing we just met up at dinner or our fast passes.

This trip ate me alive my hudband got sick , my mother snored like she was one step from death and having my mom and dad on the same vacation was interesting. They are good friends and amazing even after divorce. But my dad's wife was not a happy camper with all the old stories and such (my parents met in highschool so alot of stories).

Mother didn't realize how big Disney was and ended up renting a scooter day 2. This was also July and in the middle of hell scape weather. She almost passed out from heat exhaustion day one.

Needless to say I tried my best to have the first timers have a great time and it ended up being legit a nightmare for me and everyone else. I cried on the daily and to this day I don't know why we have gone back. But here we are 3 trips later and we learned so much on how to travel and enjoy Disney. And definitely NO MORE multi family trips.
 
I see you mentioned that you dropped 400 per person per day. I thought this trip was a gift from your parents. Did you still have to pay for your portion? Man if I was “forced” to go on a multigenerational trip and had to pay OOP for it I would be highly irked.
 
snikki said:
I see you mentioned that you dropped 400 per person per day. I thought this trip was a gift from your parents. Did you still have to pay for your portion? Man if I was “forced” to go on a multigenerational trip and had to pay OOP for it I would be highly irked.
Click to expand...
I was wondering this too! Maybe the poster just means the cost wasn't worth it, regardless of who actually paid it?
 
Pmccarthy said:
I thought that she'd been to WDW before and was doing all this for her kids. I was wrong; this was also HER first visit. She was doing all of this for herself, and the family was along for the ride. She was hell bent on squeezing every memory and ounce of value out of this trip by planning out every minute of every day, but at what cost? All this "magic" turned her into a miserable husk of a human being (well, more than usual). And she wasn't alone. By 1pm every family that I saw in matching t-shirts were reduced to scowling zombies, shambling from one ride to the next no matter how large the group. "Once in a lifetime" is a condemnation.
Click to expand...
If I were advising her, which I note I'm not, I would say that her plan was doomed from the beginning. If you're trying to do an "accomplish everything" Disney vacation, you need at least 7 nights (probably more), you need to stay on property, and you need to be willing to wake up in time for rope drop every single day. You guys were 0/3.

Short trips are fun, but short trips are "hit a few things and chill," not "go insane trying to check every box."
 
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