Thanks, I Hate It - Disney by non-Disney Fans (DUN)

[VandVsmama]

I feel your pain, OP.

~ 3-4 yr ago, we took Grandma (my MIL) to Disneyland. She hadn't been in about 40 years. Had a bucket list item to eat at the Blue Bayou. We drove from AZ to Anaheim and chauffeured Grandma the whole way. Like you, we learned a lot on that trip...stuff like:

• Going to Disney parks with certain people, especially certain family members can be a hassle like you've never experienced before.
• If you're too blind to be able to legally drive a car anymore, you also shouldn't rent a scooter.
• Grandma will ride right over my kids' feet multiple times and laugh about it.
• Grandma refused for years to get hearing aids (she finally reneged this past year and declared, "Oh! I can finally hear everybody now!"), so you'll spend the entire trip shouting at her. There were times when we'd shout the instructions at her, tell her where we were all headed next, she'd nod, and then take off in the blessed scooter at break neck speed in the opposite direction. She went so fast that my kids had to SPRINT to catch up to her.
• Grandma will shop for herself & her friends, but not once buy even a popcorn or a Mickey ice cream bar for my kids.
• Grandma won't chip in $20 for gas.
• Grandma won't treat anybody to a meal for putting up with the nonsense for 4 days. Perfectly happy to eat her blessed lunch at the Blue Bayou with just my DH (we didn't have the budget to pay for the 4 of us in our immediate family to eat there on that trip).
• Grandma will accidentally steal somebody else's scooter after the blessed Blue Bayou meal (she rented it from Deckert's...they're great, btw, will deliver to hotel), then when Deckert's called DH and explained what was going on and they then met up with the other disabled person whose scooter she stole (an elderly woman who was beside herself, in tears, thinking that she'd be charged thousands of $$ for the stolen scooter), Grandma laughed at the woman.
• Grandma will lose her ID months before the trip, but won't say anything about it until the day before we all leave for the trip and then panic because she can't check into her hotel room without a legal ID (and no, a temporary one from the DMV wouldn't work...we called the hotel and checked).

And you know what? About 45 min into the drive home, my DH stupidly blurts out, "Hey Mom, do you want to go again next year?"

The kids & I were, inside our heads, shouting out 'NOOOOO!!!!!'

Even my SIL (DH's sister) won't go to a Disney park with her mother. So I told DH that he can do it again if he wants to, but the kids and I aren't going. LOL!

And no, he hasn't taken Grandma-Runs-Over-People-With-Her-Scooter back to Disneyland since then.

May the Force be with you on the rest of your trip! I read some of your trip report out loud to my DH. We were both in stitches over it!

 

[Ohiostatefan606]

I feel your pain, OP.

~ 3-4 yr ago, we took Grandma (my MIL) to Disneyland.

• If you're too blind to be able to legally drive a car anymore, you also shouldn't rent a scooter.
• Grandma will accidentally steal somebody else's scooter after the blessed Blue Bayou meal

☝ OMG, I'm dying

 

[AliceNDinah]

Just an interruption to say how much I'm LOVING this thread---especially on a FRIDAY, ha---loved the story from VandVsmama above and I literally can't wait for the next installment of our saga. I wonder what is happening right now. Insert evil laugh here, bwahahahahahaha.......

 

[SuperPreparo]

Loving this trip report!! Can’t wait for the next installment!

 

[MinnieFan4ever]

Can’t wait to see how your night at Epcot went.

 

[Hockeytchr]

 

[Pmccarthy]

BONUS DAY 2: EPCOT

Finally, time for the wife and I to partake in something that this trip has been desperately lacking; alone time. We're still weary from getting dragged and slagged across the Magic Kingdom, so we focus our attention on Future World. Or whatever parts of it aren't blocked by construction barricades. We never left World Showcase during our honeymoon, so this is all new to us. Plus, it's right there when you walk in. Kinda hard to miss.

The SIL recommended Nemo & Friends, so we swing by there first. Ten minute wait, although those ten minutes are spent speeding around empty switchbacks. Whiplash, courtesy of Disney.

Next up is Living with the Land. Twenty minute wait. Better yet, I don't feel obligated to spend that time glued to my phone planning our next move. I can be in the moment. Leave the apps and spreadsheets to the SIL and her small army of adorable 3' hooligans.

This is the Disney of my honeymoon. I don't need to wrack my rage-addled brain analyzing opportunity costs. I wanna do something in the parks? Hell yeah son, this is your party; you do that thing!

I'm finally having fun.

Oh, but we can't overlook the festival food. Our diet is no longer shackled by a woman who thinks a "adventurous pallete" stops at ordering the spicy nuggets from Wendy's. Spoon bread, pork belly, chorizo, rich and decadent mole sauce. I get to imbibe a alcoholic beverage that doesn't taste like it was brewed for Jimmy Buffet cover bands!

We want more, but I can feel the concrete vibrating further past my ankles with each step. Not that we mind. For the first time on this trip we got to experience the Disney that we remember.

DAY 3: UNIVERSAL

 

[tigerlilly]

Epcot really is the best. Trips without extended family are the best trips lol. You will get to do them again someday. Glad second half of the day brought some magic.

 

[2xcited2sleep]

I have not laughed this hard in quite a while. Much needed. So sorry your trip is cursed but it's our gain. Looking forward to more.

 

[AussieFan8]

We want more, but I can feel the concrete vibrating further past my ankles with each step.

This description is perfect! Love this trip report and glad you got to have at least a little fun.

 

[Frozen fractals]

I just laughed so hard I scared the dog. Thanks for your report and for embracing your misfortunes with humor, and sharing!

 

[AgentMama]

One of my favorite trip reports! Can't wait to
read the rest

 

[nw6675]

How was the spoon bread? That was the one item at the festival I hate I will miss!

 

[kingearl]

'Snackrifice' = the word of the day

 

[cccory]

This is the true Disney. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Buddyex]

I guess the moral of the story so far is never travel with the 'Bro-fam'

 

[Pmccarthy]

How was the spoon bread? That was the one item at the festival I hate I will miss!

It was good. Think savory corn pudding, but crispy edges all the way around.

 

[Ensusieasm]

Cant wait to hear all the rest!

 

[Pmccarthy]

(we're back home...)

DAY 3: UNIVERSAL

I'm the first one in the house to wake. The child launches into a meltdown because the pool is too cold. My wife says that her ankle has seized up and she's not sure if she'll be able to walk. It's too early for this crap. There's orange juice in the fridge, but no vodka. I dare not touch the Bud Light Lime, more for my personal wellbeing than because it tastes like cockatiel urine.

My brother's family are flying out later, so they're going to enjoy a pool day. I didn't even know such a thing was in my SIL's vocabulary. My mother will be joining us, probably to get a break from the drill sergeant.

A lovely 1.5 hour drive along scenic I-4 and we reach Universal.

Our (non-Dreams) travel agent booked the tickets for us, so we head to will call. We can't find our order number, and after much consternation the employee is able to find the reservation. One tiny problem though; the tickets were dated for yesterday. Great, another detour to Guest Services. When we reach the counter, the poor woman says that she can't find our tickets in the system. Then what the hell was I holding in my hand a few seconds ago?!

Two and a half hours after leaving the house, we finally enter Islands of Adventure.

A pox upon everyone woman in this world named Tammy. Your innocence matters not.

The child comes alive at the sight of Seuss Landing. The books we've read to her countless times have physically manifested before her. But I'm distracted by something else; Green Eggs and Ham Cafe is open. THIS IS NOT A DRILL; GREEN EGGS AND HAM IS OFFICIALLY OPEN!! I warmly suggest that the rest of the group go explore the Seuss maze, but in truth I just want to buy myself some time to acquire Who Hash. I also grab some pizza tots for the rest of the group to enjoy. The child is torn between rides and tots, but the sweet siren's song of crispy potatoes smothered in cheese wins out. No paternity test required, she's definitely mine.

The wife comes alive at the sight of Hogsmeade. She's a MASSIVE Harry Potter fan, and the HP stuff was under construction when we were here for our honeymoon. I hold back a tear for the demise of Jaws. The lines for Butter Beer stretch well beyond the confines of the space. I do enjoy my food, but don't like butterscotch to that extent. We stumble upon a kiosk for wands. The child has never seen nor read Harry Potter, so her first instinct is to grab the Voldemort bone. Again, no paternity test needed. We manage to coax her toward choosing Hermione.

It's at this point that we notice the enemy to all mankind; the sun. We hail from a land of ice and snow. The burning ball in the sky is foreign to us. Our excursion quickly devolves into scampering between meager spots of shade and drink kiosks. Lady Dasani is making a small fortune off us today.

We want to experience the Hogwarts express, so we double back. A sixty minute wait? Fine, I'm too broken to argue. But what's this? Shade? Fans? MIST?! Oh, you sweet magnificent bastards! And there's free wifi?! Universal, you filthy girl.

They cram us into the tiny train cabin. The strangers with us are either trying to entertain the child, or they're just as ignorant about Harry Potter as she is. Could go either way.

We disembark and head into Diagon Alley. We told the child to expect a dragon on top of the building. What I wasn't expecting was that it would be enveloping the whole building. My mother makes it halfway up the street before she notices. Okay, maybe we need a paternity test for this one. Our group somehow misses every opportunity to catch the lizard breathing fire.

My mother reminds us that they need to leave soon. The brother's family are heading to the airport and don't want to check the car seats, so guess who gets to cart the safety harnesses on her drive back to Ohio? Yep, my poor mother will be taking the car seats with her when she drives back home. Even when she's not here, my SIL still finds ways to sabotage my enjoyment. But we don't mind; we have a dinner reservation. Yes, I booked MY OWN reservation months ago. See Tammy, is that so hard?

Wife and I sit down for a meal at Toothsome. The walk-about characters are upon us before our drinks arrive. They riff about digital cryptography, which lifts what little remains of my engineering spirit. The food is forgettable, but the cost of the meal is well worth the opportunity to relax and rehydrate.

The two of us head back into the park with full intentions to close it down for the night. Our competitive natures won't allow us to skip Men in Black. The ride breaks down just as we exit the faux elevator. I don't even know why I try anymore. We agree to wander the parks and take in the sights, but the day star has beaten us. Every body part below my nipples screeches in agony.

We head back to the house early. Tomorrow we leave, and we can put this trip behind us.

DAY 4: DISNEY SPRINGS/TRAVEL #2

 

[VandVsmama]

(we're back home...)

DAY 3: UNIVERSAL

I'm the first one in the house to wake. The child launches into a meltdown because the pool is too cold. My wife says that her ankle has seized up and she's not sure if she'll be able to walk. It's too early for this crap. There's orange juice in the fridge, but no vodka. I dare not touch the Bud Light Lime, more for my personal wellbeing than because it tastes like cockatiel urine.

My brother's family are flying out later, so they're going to enjoy a pool day. I didn't even know such a thing was in my SIL's vocabulary. My mother will be joining us, probably to get a break from the drill sergeant.

A lovely 1.5 hour drive along scenic I-4 and we reach Universal.

Our (non-Dreams) travel agent booked the tickets for us, so we head to will call. We can't find our order number, and after much consternation the employee is able to find the reservation. One tiny problem though; the tickets were dated for yesterday. Great, another detour to Guest Services. When we reach the counter, the poor woman says that she can't find our tickets in the system. Then what the hell was I holding in my hand a few seconds ago?!

Two and a half hours after leaving the house, we finally enter Islands of Adventure.

A pox upon everyone woman in this world named Tammy. Your innocence matters not.

The child comes alive at the sight of Seuss Landing. The books we've read to her countless times have physically manifested before her. But I'm distracted by something else; Green Eggs and Ham Cafe is open. THIS IS NOT A DRILL; GREEN EGGS AND HAM IS OFFICIALLY OPEN!! I warmly suggest that the rest of the group go explore the Seuss maze, but in truth I just want to buy myself some time to acquire Who Hash. I also grab some pizza tots for the rest of the group to enjoy. The child is torn between rides and tots, but the sweet siren's song of crispy potatoes smothered in cheese wins out. No paternity test required, she's definitely mine.

The wife comes alive at the sight of Hogsmeade. She's a MASSIVE Harry Potter fan, and the HP stuff was under construction when we were here for our honeymoon. I hold back a tear for the demise of Jaws. The lines for Butter Beer stretch well beyond the confines of the space. I do enjoy my food, but don't like butterscotch to that extent. We stumble upon a kiosk for wands. The child has never seen nor read Harry Potter, so her first instinct is to grab the Voldemort bone. Again, no paternity test needed. We manage to coax her toward choosing Hermione.

It's at this point that we notice the enemy to all mankind; the sun. We hail from a land of ice and snow. The burning ball in the sky is foreign to us. Our excursion quickly devolves into scampering between meager spots of shade and drink kiosks. Lady Dasani is making a killing small fortune off us today.

We want to experience the Hogwarts express, so we double back. A sixty minute wait? Fine, I'm too broken to argue. But what's this? Shade? Fans? MIST?! Oh, you sweet magnificent bastards! And there's free wifi?! Universal, you filthy girl.

They cram us into the tiny train cabin. The strangers with us are either trying to entertain the child, or they're just as ignorant about Harry Potter as she is. Could go either way.

We disembark and head into Diagon Alley. We told the child to expect a dragon on top of the building. What I wasn't expecting was that it would be enveloping the whole building. My mother makes it halfway up the street before she notices. Okay, maybe we need a paternity test for this one. Our group somehow misses every opportunity to catch the lizard breathing fire.

My mother reminds us that they need to leave soon. The brother's family are heading to the airport and don't want to check the car seats, so guess who gets to cart the safety harnesses back to Ohio? Even when she's not here, my SIL still finds ways to sabotage my enjoyment. But we don't mind; we have a dinner reservation. Yes, I booked MY OWN reservation months ago. See Tammy, is that so hard?

Wife and I sit down for a meal at Toothsome. The walk-about characters are upon us before our drinks arrive. They riff about digital cryptography, which lifts what little remains of my engineering spirit. The food is forgettable, but the cost of the meal is well worth the opportunity to relax and rehydrate.

The two of us head back into the park with full intentions to close it down for the night. Our competitive natures won't allow us to skip Men in Black. The ride breaks down just as we exit the faux elevator. I don't even know why I try anymore. We agree to wander the parks and take in the sights, but the day star has beaten us. Every body part below my nipples screeches in agony.

We head back to the house early. Tomorrow we leave, and we can put this trip behind us.

So wait...you had to leave Universal in order to drive all the way back to the VRBO/AirBNB house just because your SIL didn't want to have to check her kids' carseats as luggage at the airport?

OH GOOD GRIEF!

Seriously, your SIL has somehow found a way to make some of the simplest things very complicated.

Madame Leota's crystal ball predicts that your next WDW trip will be sans SIL.