Monie--While I'm sorry to hear that your DH was ill, it seems to me that there were other issues that you possibly brought on yourselves. First, the insurance. Regardless of the expense, when weighed against the alternatives, you should have taken it. You chose not to, and that was your decision. But IMHO
DCL is not responsible for reimbursing you. Period. As the saying goes "Penny wise is Pound foolish" The issue should be with your TA, not DCL. I would see if there is something the TA is willing to do for you (Although I wouldn't count on it.)
As far as not getting the room cleaned, perhaps there was a misunderstanding between you and your steward. Most of them are ESL, and it's possible that she didn't understand your telling her to come by even though the do not disturb was out.
As far as the luggage, it sounds like perhaps you really overpacked. Last I knew DCL was teling people that they had to store their luggage in their own cabins. IMHO that should be the case across the boards. At any rate, is it possible that by the time you asked for your luggage to be stored, any available storage space was already full? At that point what would you like the staeward to do? Remove someone elses luggage to store yours? And I'm sure this won't be popular, but IMHO the higher the Category, the higher the service should be, including perks like luggage storage. Most people realize that there is a limited amount of storage and bring luggage that can nest inside itself, or that will fit under the bed.
Again, I'm sorry that your DH was ill, and I hope you'll choose to cruise again, but next time you'll be better prepared for the "what if's".
Anne