Are the perks really worth it?
Only you can answer that one. Most people who'll reply here will say, "Yep, the perks are worth it (at least for me)." If you posted the exact same thing to the Orlando Resorts board, most people who'll reply will say, "Nope, not worth it to me."
Personally, I wouldn't stay offsite without checking the Orlando Resorts board on the particular offsite place I was considering. There are plenty of places offsite that are just as pretty and clean as anything you'll find onsite, and places nicer than anything onsite (at least in terms of the usual amenities -- Disney theming can't be beat, IMHO), but then there are those few places you want to avoid.
You need to ask yourself what the benefits and costs are
for you. For example, do you mind driving? We like driving and I hate public transportation while on vacation, so the buses are not an onsite advantage for me.
Would you use EMH? I like hitting the parks at rope drop, but some times of the year morning EMH is much earlier than I want to get up! I'm not convinced evening EMH is a big advantage, so that's generally off my radar. Other times, I'd rather be there as early in the morning and late at night as possible, because most of the day is too hot for me; those times of year, being onsite is more appealing than when the weather is more moderate.
Would you use the dining plan? For us, the DDP is a poor fit, so that's not a benefit.
How important is theming to you, and how much of it is there? I love the theming of the Disney resorts as a whole; some of the rooms are brilliantly themed (the Royal rooms at Riverside), while some of them, the room theming is pretty negligible (DVC units tend generic). Some offsite condos are Disney themed (or have Disney themed bedrooms for the kids), some have another theme (Bonnet Creek is vaguely Spanish Mediterranean).
Do you spend most of your time in the parks, or do you like to kick back some days or afternoons at the resorts? Do the kids like pool slides (Disney has plenty, as do many offsite resorts) or lazy rivers (Disney falls pretty short on that front) or onsite activities like canoeing or crafts?
Does bedsize matter? Unit size? The ability to close a door so some people can sleep while others are awake? Would you use a kitchen and dining room if you had it? Lot easier for quick breakfasts, even if you don't do much cooking. We like having one area to talk and two different areas for the TV watchers (since the TV watchers never all want to watch the same thing
), meaning we much prefer a 2 BR condo to two hotel rooms.
Going from one onsite room to two is often the point where offsite is by far the better deal, financially, but on vacation, cost is not the only consideration. But it's still pertinent, especially when you can get so much more offsite for so much less. For some people, the magic is so important onsite is still worth it; for others, adding in the price of that second room is where the balance shifts to offsite. Some of them then discover offsite is worth it even when you only need one room. Others value both, for different reasons.
I would not stay offsite without a car. But if you get a car anyhow, and especially since it sounds like your hubby wants to try offsite, might be worth giving it a try.