Parenting is hard..

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

This just triggered my memory. I’m not changing my story, just remembering something else. After she got the ink delivered she did get a delivery of needles. I don’t remember what kind, just that they were what she was using. I’m 99% sure she isn’t reusing needles. For the ink, you pour it into a little container and dump out what isn’t used. So, as far as that goes there isn’t cross contamination.

Having said that, I’m only assuming that she is swabbing her skin before starting. When I see her today I’ll be asking more questions.

That's a good start but there is also just the knowledge that comes with the experience such as where in the skin to place the ink etc... Again... I think it's worth exploring with her if she's interested. But I wouldn't be letting my daughter do home tattoos.

 

[cruiser21]

I don’t pull the ‘my house, my rules’ routine. She knows I’m the parent but she also knows she can talk to me about anything, no matter what or when. I don’t want to have the relationship where she sees me as nothing more than the rule maker who she has to fear. Honestly, if this is the worst thing she does (and it’s barely needing the label ‘worst’), I will count that as a huge success.

Having said that, if that style works for you, have at it.

You started a thread asking for opinions. I didn't.
Why ask for opinions then get all defensive when you don't like the opinion. Just rad it and move on.

 

[JediBonas]

That is a tough one for a parent. I sympathize, OP!

I got my first tattoo at 18, and my parents were furious. I was a super straight-laced kid, but it was something that was important to me to "express myself." Now, as a parent, I completely understand what I couldn't as a teenager: that I will change/grow/evolve so much over the next decades that it's frightening putting a permanent artistic expression on your body.

You want to encourage them to be themselves without them doing something they'll later regret.

^^ This 100000%. I got my first tattoo at 21 (my parents said if I got one while in college they wouldn't pay), my mom was still pretty mad about it (even now, at 39 with 10 tattoos she gets mad when she sees I got a new one). I am so happy I waited until I was a little older, the tattoo I would have picked at 17/18 is something I wouldn't like now. I love tattoos, am working on a sleeve, but I also kinda hope neither of my kids gets tattoos, and I think that this is the reason is scares me.

 

[ronandannette]

^^ This 100000%. I got my first tattoo at 21 (my parents said if I got one while in college they wouldn't pay), my mom was still pretty mad about it (even now, at 39 with 10 tattoos she gets mad when she sees I got a new one). I am so happy I waited until I was a little older, the tattoo I would have picked at 17/18 is something I wouldn't like now. I love tattoos, am working on a sleeve, but I also kinda hope neither of my kids gets tattoos, and I think that this is the reason is scares me.

That’s such a curious statement; what’s your thinking behind it?

 

[cabanafrau]

No matter what anybody thinks about tattoos or aesthetics or changing opinions over time, the bottom line is this is a health and liability risk. Being a hypochondriac offers zero protections.

 

[wenrob]

That’s such a curious statement; what’s your thinking behind it?

I can’t speak for this poster but I can kind of give my thoughts on it. I’ve always known DD would be one to get tattoos. She’s very artsy and big on self expression. It wasn’t a surprise to me when she decided to get her first one. What *was* a surprise was my visceral reaction to it - my baby is permanently changed. It was not a reaction I thought I would have considering I have tattoos and I’m all about my kids making their own choices on all the important things. I had a similar reaction the first time she burned herself at work bad enough to leave a scar even though I knew it would eventually happen and there will (and have been) many more to come. I think it’s almost an instinctual thing. I can’t really explain it anymore than that. I got over the feeling pretty quick and the subsequent scars and next tat didn’t bother me at all.

 

[JediBonas]

That’s such a curious statement; what’s your thinking behind it?

Honestly, I do not have a reason for my feelings on it. I think like another poster said, it's a visceral reaction to a permanent change on them. Now, my kids are only 6, so quite young to be thinking about this, but then I see 13/14 year olds getting tattooed by some scraper and it's scary. Or that they'll end up with something they hate and then have to get an even bigger one as a cover up. I do feel like a hypocrite not wanted them to get tattoos but I feel the way I feel. Of course, when they are older and if they want one I hope they will come to me so we can research and talk about it so they are spared any future regret.

 

[kimblebee]

You started a thread asking for opinions. I didn't.
Why ask for opinions then get all defensive when you don't like the opinion. Just rad it and move on.

I’m not being defensive at all.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

My daughter is 17, 18 in October. She’s very quirky and artistic and that’s what I love most about her. About two months ago, she got a package delivery and the customs label said it was tattoo ink. When she got home from school, I asked her why she bought it. She then confessed that she had given herself a stick and poke tattoo and had done them for a few friends. My daughter is a major hypochondriac so if she says she’s doing it safely, I believe her. It is small and is near her ankle and is actually very subtle. It’s of a butterfly. I wasn’t super happy about it but I let it drop.


Just now, she came home from work and was sitting on the couch catching me up on her day. I looked over at her and noticed a black splotch by her knee. I said ‘what is th......is that another tattoo’? She said yeah.
..

I just wonder why she doesn't feel like she can talk to you about these tattoos prior to getting them? It seems very sneaky. I would be very upset if my teenager did not feel comfortable talking to me about making permanent changes to their body. After that second tattoo, I think I would have had to reiterate some rules. At the very least, discuss why she doesn't feel like she can talk to you about these things.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

She's 17. You're paying the bills. Tell her no tats while she's in your house. Parenting is easier if you remember you're the parent not the friend.

I have to agree on this. There are certain steadfast rules every parent should have with their child. No sneaking around and getting tattoos as a teenager would be one of those rules. Giving permanent tattoos to other teenagers would also be a rule that would need to be followed. But to be honest with you, I think most kids know that is not acceptable.

 

[cruiser21]

The two company's I work for don't allow visible tatoos. I know many company's have this policy. Ive always told my kids tattoos may change the way you have to dress and limit your job opportunities. They also look really bad on 75 year old skin.

 

[cabanafrau]

Can you possibly explain the thinking behind the hypochondriac factor making this safer?

 

[BLAZEY]

I don't have a teenager yet, nor do I have any tattoos, however, my BFF has a now 19 year old daughter. For her 18th birthday BFF took her daughter to her tattoo artist and paid for her to get her first tattoo as her birthday gift. Here the legal drinking age is 19, so this year BFF took her DD19 out to the bar to celebrate.

 

[kimblebee]

Can you possibly explain the thinking behind the hypochondriac factor making this safer?

Because she isn’t going to do anything risky like reuse needles or use old ink. I did confirm both with her. And yes, I do believe her.

 

[cabanafrau]

Because she isn’t going to do anything risky like reuse needles or use old ink. I did confirm both with her. And yes, I do believe her.

That's great. Of course that's not the extent of the risk factors.

In the reverse, would you accept that reassurance from another parent for your kid?

 

[wenrob]

Because she isn’t going to do anything risky like reuse needles or use old ink. I did confirm both with her. And yes, I do believe her.

The thing is she IS doing a risky thing. She can be as safe as she can be but that’s never going to be as safe as going to a reputable, certified tattoo artist who will not only use top notch sanitary standards but will also advise you on how to take care of it and keep it clean. She cannot provide that standard no matter how safe she thinks she’s being.

 

[cvjw]

My kids were given strict rules about behavior while living in our house and at college if they wanted to stay on the payroll. No tattoos is one of those rules. You just never know what profession you will have when you are that young and some professions don’t work well with tattoos.

 

[mamamary]

My kids were given strict rules about behavior while living in our house and at college if they wanted to stay on the payroll. No tattoos is one of those rules. You just never know what profession you will have when you are that young and some professions don’t work well with tattoos.

My daughter is volunteering in our local hospital over the summer and it doesn’t matter in her case but you cannot even volunteer with any visible tattoos.

 

[kimblebee]

The thing is she IS doing a risky thing. She can be as safe as she can be but that’s never going to be as safe as going to a reputable, certified tattoo artist who will not only use top notch sanitary standards but will also advise you on how to take care of it and keep it clean. She cannot provide that standard no matter how safe she thinks she’s being.

Oh, I totally agree. I’m not trying to say what she’s doing is 100% safe. I’m just saying that it’s not like she’s doing it in the bathroom of a biker bar or something.

 

[kimblebee]

My kids were given strict rules about behavior while living in our house and at college if they wanted to stay on the payroll. No tattoos is one of those rules. You just never know what profession you will have when you are that young and some professions don’t work well with tattoos.

I agree. Society, as a whole, has relaxed its views on tattoos but for some professions it is better to not have tattoos. Both of hers are easily covered with pants so at least she got that right.

She plans on going into horticulture so I’m not sure the no tattoo rule will apply. Who knows though.