OT: Send kids to daycare while you are home?

[ChristmasEveTwins]

"Everyone" knows that story because it was a court case a few years ago that got a lot of press (though I think in the court case the kid was younger - seven (?).)

I'm saying I know someone who was breastfed until he was fourteen (!) with the relationship becoming incestuous at eight or nine - negating your statement that breastfeeding is NEVER sexual. It is only sexual in really screwed up situations, but there are those really screwed up situations out there.

(And I have nothing against extended breastfeeding, my girlfriends have overwhelmingly breastfed past a year - and some until three or four).

Again, the pp that I was referring to correlated bfing a 2- or 3-year old to sex. You bringing up extreme examples of bfing teenagers is ridiculous. In that case, it's not even bfing. I seriously doubt a mother abusing her child in that way is even producing milk.

 

[jennifer293]

This thread has gotten SOOOOOOOOOOOOO OFF TOPIC!!!!

 

[rt2dz]

Again, the pp that I was referring to correlated bfing a 2- or 3-year old to sex. You bringing up extreme examples of bfing teenagers is ridiculous. In that case, it's not even bfing. I seriously doubt a mother abusing her child in that way is even producing milk.

Actually, that is not exactly true. If you go back and read that post, which was a copy of an article written by someone else, you will see that the author was saying that you can't compare those things to actual abuse. Because, yes, some people do say extended nursing isn't necessary is for the mothers "pleasure"--right or wrong, not debating it, but that is what some people do say. Which is what I believe Ilovefozzie was trying to point out, any of those things only correlate in the most extreme circumstances.

 

[KTSMOM]

This thread has gotten SOOOOOOOOOOOOO OFF TOPIC!!!!

I'll put it back on topic for you. I work a FT job and so does my DH. My DD, who is now 6 and in school, went to a preschool. There were a couple of days a year I would have off of work and her preschool was open. I did take her to preschool on some of thoes off days for me. I would take her late and pick her up early, but she did go. I think it's important to have some free time for yourself. I feel I am a better parent for having some free time from both work and being a mom. I may be a mom, a wife, and an employee, but I am me too...and it's important to remember that.

 

[rt2dz]

I apologize, I did miss you stating "around here" in the beginning of your paragraph. Trust me, that is not the norm. Daycare centers in IN has to have lesson plans in order to be licensed. As a home daycare, I do not have to have lesson plans but I choose to do learning activities. There are differences in licensing here as well. Preschools do not have the same requirements that daycares do. But the state of IN says I have a licensed home daycare not an in-home preschool.

No apology necessary, I was just confused. I have a few posts on here, and I am in no way against daycare (if it is what makes the rest of your life managable, go for it), but for some people there is a difference. Which is why as a pp put it daycare=bad & preschool=good. That particulary post was in response to general posts on why that is. When people post they tend to be a bit egocentric. They forget that this is a virtual community and things may be greatly different in different parts of the world which is why some people have the views they do.

When it comes to kids, nothing is done in a few hours. Or a few days. Generally, a child lives under your roof for 18-19 years minimum. That is why in another post I said raising a child is a lifetime of work--and no way anyone but the primary caregiver can do that. It's a 24 hour/7 day a week/52 weeks per year job and sometimes, like in all jobs, delegation is necessary to complete the task in the overall best way possible. Even us SAHM (& dads!) take advantage of that.

 

[crisi]

Again, the pp that I was referring to correlated bfing a 2- or 3-year old to sex. You bringing up extreme examples of bfing teenagers is ridiculous. In that case, it's not even bfing. I seriously doubt a mother abusing her child in that way is even producing milk.

AND people correlating formula feeding to hunger is ridiculous AND people correlating "reasonable" CIO to abuse is ridiculous. Or do you think that formula feeding actually does correlate to hunger and CIO does correlate to abuse? Because that is what you said. And all I'm saying is that the correlation between ANY of these is ridiculous - you can get to it in all these cases, but those are the BAD mothers.

 

[rt2dz]

AND people correlating formula feeding to hunger is ridiculous AND people correlating "reasonable" CIO to abuse is ridiculous. Or do you think that formula feeding actually does correlate to hunger and CIO does correlate to abuse? Because that is what you said. And all I'm saying is that the correlation between ANY of these is ridiculous - you can get to it in all these cases, but those are the BAD mothers.

Ok, ok, ok. I get what you are trying to say, but let's not go there.

I believe that ChristmasEveTwins did not read the post with the article very well and missed the point(s) and spirit of the post. She got sidetracked by personal beliefs and her hot button.

******************************

While I do believe the majority of the posts on this thread have been fairly non-attacking, even when people disagree & defend their position, let's review here.

The OP had 5 days off. On 2 of those days, she sent her children to daycare. If they go to daycare during the school day, we can pretty safely assume that they are under the age of 5. She needed to get some stuff done and so did her DH. Did it matter if they needed to paint or do yard work or run errands (whether grocery shopping or looking for a new couch) or iron or vaccume or just reconnect as a married couple?

By doing these things in a faster manner (ever try running errands when your 3 year old just wants to get out and play or is in desperate need of a nap) and in a safer manner (trying to iron while a 17 month old baby is trying to pull on everything simply isn't safe) without putting all their attention on the child who might not be able to carry on his/her side of the conversation could actually lead to more (quanity & quality) time with the kids.

I mean, she probably already paid for her daycare with safe, nurturing, loving adults. But some think on the weekend or in the evening she should instead hire a teenager, paying even more money, who may or may not be CPR/first aid trained (which I'm sure the daycare people are), and probably not as experienced, so the kids could be alone v. having time with their peers learning by default (as kids learn from just being with other kids) just so she and her DH could have a meal and conversation together. I don't get it.

 

[ChristmasEveTwins]

AND people correlating formula feeding to hunger is ridiculous AND people correlating "reasonable" CIO to abuse is ridiculous. Or do you think that formula feeding actually does correlate to hunger and CIO does correlate to abuse? Because that is what you said. And all I'm saying is that the correlation between ANY of these is ridiculous - you can get to it in all these cases, but those are the BAD mothers.

Again, you misunderstand me. Of course I don't equate ffing to starving a baby. Please do not put words in my mouth. Let me break my argument down for you in the simplest terms and definitions. Formula is food. Hunger is the absence of food. "Hunger" and "food," therefore "hunger" and "formula" have a direct relationship. So, while I never said that formula feeding is starving a baby, (which doesn't even make sense, btw), I did say that there is a correlation (read: relationship) between the two.

OTOH, breastfeeding DOES NOT correlate to sex. Breastfeeding is NOT sexual. Again, you can bring up extreme examples of sick and twisted mothers sexually abusing their teenage sons, but a breastfeeding relationship between a mother and her infant or toddler (which the pp was referring to) is NOT sexual.

The pp I am referring to made a correlation between hunger and formula, CIO and abuse, and bfing and sex. My argument is that the "bfing and sex" comparison should not have been included because no correlation can be drawn between the two. (Your abused teenager example excluded, that is.)

I really don't think I can explain this any more. Either you understand my point, or you will twist what I say into something completely different. If you want to argue for the sake of arguing, that's fine, but nothing I have said should have been taken as offensive. I am the one who was initially offended that the correlation between bfing a 2-year-old and sexual abuse was even drawn.

 

[srgibbs]

I think whatever you decide works best for you and your family is your decision. I'm a SAHM with a 5yo in 1/2 day Christian K-5 and a 2YO who goes to morning preschool 2 days a week for 4 hours. I don't really have anyone to help me out and my 2 you needs socialization so I send her to preschool. She has a wonderful loving Christian teacher at the Baptist preschool and 7 little friends in her class. Some people cannot work it out to be a SAHM or choose not to and I do not judge them. We are very blessed financially and my husband supports me being at home with the kids. It makes his life much easier that I take care of everything and he just has to go to work. Just because I'm at home doesn't mean I'm a better or wiser mom. It saddens me that everyone has to push their opinions on everyone else and especially make working moms feel guilty. I do think a lot of working moms would LOVE to be at home and it makes their heart ache everday that it doesn't work out for them. We should not make them feel guilty, but support them. If you have things to get done and your kids love their daycare and are well adjusted and that is what you want to do then don't worry what others think. At the end of the day it is your family.

 

[belle&beast]

Ok, ok, ok. I get what you are trying to say, but let's not go there.

I believe that ChristmasEveTwins did not read the post with the article very well and missed the point(s) and spirit of the post. She got sidetracked by personal beliefs and her hot button.

Thank you. I posted that ARTICLE (not my own words) to help everyone see that there are different parenting styles and we should all accept and support each other's differences.

OP, You are doing what is right for your family and that is all that matters. I am done with this thread- you all can argue all you want, but the truth is we are all doing what we feel is best for our children.

 

[crisi]

So, your whole point is that there is no relationship between breastfeeding and sex....

http://sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresponse/a/orgasm_breastfe.htm

I'd say you are wrong about that lack of correlation.

 

[bzzymom]

I sometimes send my DD to her sitter when I am home. I have to pay for the day, wheather she is there or not. On the occasional day where I don't have to work, I still send her so that I can get stuff done. She doesn't go in as early, or stay as late as usual. She loves her sitter.

 

[mom2my3kids]

My youngest goes to a church daycare 2 days a week. There have been a few occasions I have paid for a extra day when there was something I needed to do, like taking my mom to a doctors appt that lasted 4 hours. Don't worry about it, if you kids love daycare as much as mine does then you have no problem..Trust your instinct its your children so don't worry what others say..

 

[ChristmasEveTwins]

So, your whole point is that there is no relationship between breastfeeding and sex....

http://sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresponse/a/orgasm_breastfe.htm

I'd say you are wrong about that lack of correlation.

Stretching a bit, aren't we? Besides, I took issue with correlating breastfeeding to sexual abuse, not some physiological response that a woman has no control over. Get back to me when you can prove that bfing a toddler is abusive and we'll talk . . .

 

[DISNEYLOVER70]

Way off topic and obviously the whole breastfeeding argument is going no where.

Back to the topic of THIS thread...

I think if your child is content, safe, happy, etc with going to daycare/pre-school, and you are not going to work, it is your choice as a parent. Honestly, who cares what other people think??? I wouldn't even ask for their opinion. I do what is best for MY children, just like any good parent.

 

[girlegirl7101]

Hey you should ask dr laura what she thinks, 1-800 Dr laura. I would love to hear what she has to say!!

 

[crisi]

Stretching a bit, aren't we? Besides, I took issue with correlating breastfeeding to sexual abuse, not some physiological response that a woman has no control over. Get back to me when you can prove that bfing a toddler is abusive and we'll talk . . .

You are saying correlating formula feeding with hunger is a valid correlation, I don't think this is any more of a stretch. You can just say that none of these are valid correlations, and I'll drop the whole thing.

 

[dfarner]

WHOLLY MOLEY!! 2 DAYS AGO I LOOKED ON THIS THREAD AND IT WAS ABOUT DAYCARE. TODAY I LOOKED AND IT HAS TURNED INTO BREASTFEEDING, SEX, ORGASMS, AND DID I SEE SOMETHING ABOUT HUNGRY CHILDREN ON FORMULA? OH MY GOSH

 

[TikiGoddess2006]

I started this topic.... any chance I can get it closed?

Mods?

Please?


TikiG

 

[RachaelRol]

Bendito, Tiki Goddess!!! BTW, bendito means, poor thing in Spanish. Sorry your thread turned to this. At least you got a few responses!