OT: DS turns 5 end of July so Kindergarten or no Kindergarten

[llori7]

My son will turn 5 the end of July. He went to preschool 2 days a week at 3 and 3 days a week at 4. Both for 1/2 day. I am trying to decide if I should send him to kindergarten in 2008 or wait a year. Academically, he is ready. He knows colors, shapes, how to write his name, counting, letters, sounds. However, he is still immature and doesn't have good self control. I am wondering if waiting that extra year will make a difference or not. I know if I send him now, there will be kids in his class that are a whole year older than him.

Anyone have a similiar experience?? Did you send him or wait?? I know I wont' regret waiting, but I don't want him to be bored if I do.

Any thoughts or suggestions....

 

[crisi]

What state are you in? That will make some difference.

Our son made the cutoff by three days - we elected to hold him back. He is the oldest kid in the class, there weren't any other parents in his age range (Suburban St. Paul Minnesota) that held their kids back who had late summer birthdays. Now, I'm fine with him being the oldest - someone needs to be. And I think he's really benefitted from the extra year, but we have a September one cutoff - I wouldn't have made the same decision with a July birthday.

My daughter is among the oldest in her class - she MISSED the cutoff by twenty days and turned six the first month of kindergarten. Only one kid is older than she is, and his parents held him back by a lot - like half a year.

I understand that in other states its more common to pull kids back for a year

A lot of kindergartners - even first and second graders - don't have a lot of self control. And while he'll get some over the next year, there is no guarentee he'll be really in control yet.

 

[llori7]

What state are you in? That will make some difference.

Our son made the cutoff by three days - we elected to hold him back. He is the oldest kid in the class, there weren't any other parents in his age range (Suburban St. Paul Minnesota) that held their kids back who had late summer birthdays. Now, I'm fine with him being the oldest - someone needs to be. And I think he's really benefitted from the extra year, but we have a September one cutoff - I wouldn't have made the same decision with a July birthday.

My daughter is among the oldest in her class - she MISSED the cutoff by twenty days and turned six the first month of kindergarten. Only one kid is older than she is, and his parents held him back by a lot - like half a year.

I understand that in other states its more common to pull kids back for a year

A lot of kindergartners - even first and second graders - don't have a lot of self control. And while he'll get some over the next year, there is no guarentee he'll be really in control yet.

We are in Ohio. The cutoff is Sept 1. He is July 25. I am just so confused on what to do. So I wanted to see what other people have done and if they were happy with their decision. Thank you!!

 

[PlutoPony]

Do you have half day or full day kindergarten?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I would send him. JMHO.

 

[llori7]

Do you have half day or full day kindergarten?

Full Day

 

[SarahKate]

Only you can make this decision, you're his mommy and you have a feeling as to if he's really ready. With that being said....

Boys can lag behind girls in the maturity department at this age. My DD's friend from preschool is going to start K this next year because his mom felt he wasn't mature enough last fall even though he met the cutoff date.

That year being held back can make a huge difference. And it's not so much the intellectual part of it - if he's not emotionally or socially ready, that can create some hardships for him, your family AND his teacher.

My DD's teacher has been totally overwhelmed this year. She has a whole LOT of kids in class who have behavioral problems and just don't listen. And just an observation on my part, but most of them are boys! My DD has had some problems but luckily she holds it together at school and shows her true colors at home....frustrating for us, but we'd rather have it that way then her act up at school.

Do what you feel will benefit your son in the long run.....the age thing really doesn't matter, so don't let that bother you. Best of luck!!!

 

[ehstrojette]

I would send him also. He knows about what my DD did when she started and now she knows alot of sight words and is almost reading simple books, learning money and math ect... repeat him if he doesn;t do well but he may surprise you

 

[2thfairy]

We are in the same position you are. My ds will turn 5 July 9th. We are going to hold him one more year. He has been in preschool since the age of 3 and I think academically he is ready but not emotionally. He is also on the smaller size for his age. He is an emotional child and I think one more year to mature will help him. Our next ds has an aug b-day and i'm going to hold him. I had an aug b-day and wish my parents would have waited to send me. I think i would have been more mature. I hated being the youngest in my class. It getting pretty common where we live to wait to send kids...especially boys from what I have been told. I have asked teachers and other parents and nobody I have talked to regrets holding their kids back only regret sending them to early. It is deffinately a personal decision but thought I would share our thoughts with you. I figure it can't hurt him to send him when he is older...i hope he will be more confident and love school that way. Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

[NHBelle]

This is so hard. I am facing a similar decision. My son's BDay is July 1st. I sent him to preschool and Kindergarten before he was really ready because I felt pressured to do what everyone else does. He struggled, but he made it through. We had good days and bad days and now he is in 2nd grade and I am wondering if I should keep him back this year. I really wish I would have done 2 years of preschool or even held off on preschool for a year. He is a small kid, he's a young 7 and struggling with reading and writing and I really can't imagine him being able to keep up in 3rd grade. The decision gets a lot harder once they are already in school and have made friends. If I could go back I would. Of course, every situation is different and I don't know if waiting is the right thing for you to do or not. I will say that you should go with your gut. I wish I had.

 

[tinkandpan]

There is a great post not too far down the line that has this exact same topic. Check it out for some helpful responses.
As for us- my ds turned 5 on sept 3 and the cutoff was Oct 1. We held him the year. Now this year he started K right on his 6th bday and it was the best decision we could have made. He is not the oldest in the class- there is one other but by now almost half the class is already 6 so he is only 5 mths older. He was academically ready in knowledge, but not in the control of sitting down to learn. This year the amount of work and responsibility they put on full day K kids is huge and I know there is no way he could have handled that last year. K is no longer about colors and sharing- but they have to be reading and writing by the time they leave. He might have been fine in K- but first grade I think would have been a struggle. I didn't want him to struggle, and I didn't want things to be too easy either and that's not the case. He's smack in the middle of the class in academics at this point and has great confidence and self esteem (which he was lacking the one year he was the youngest boy in the class by almost a year)

 

[juliana_sd]

What do his preschool teachers have to say about it? I would probably lean toward waiting. My parents had a similar decision with my brother (end of May birthday) and he did great all through school. They were concerned because he was big for his age. There were several kids in his class who were also held back a year. It's better to do it before he starts K than later on, you know?

 

[BelleEdenMom]

I say listen to your gut, my dd turns 5 aug 3, she will be one of the youngest if not the youngest (our cutoff is Sept 3) , but having been in preschool 2 yrs, I think she would be bored out of her head to wait a year. She knows colors, shapes and abc's but not how to write her name

 

[disneymomto5]

Just my experience, as many others have said you have to trust your own gut, my son has a 31 July birthday and we sent him to kindergarten as soon as he was able to go...he really wanted to go, his brother was in school and we really didn't have the money at that time to send him to another year of preschool. He did fine throughout elementary and middle, but come time to go to high school we had a problem...he was tiny for his age. Now in my family that is the norm we're late bloomers so that might not matter to you, but I just couldn't send this tiny boy to high school, I was worried about what would happen to him, he was also very immature for his age and naive, so at that point we pulled him out of public school and sent him to private school for a year. What a difference that year made! He's now in 11th grade and he grew 5 inches that second year of 8th grade, he's much more mature and more in proportion to his peers. Looking back I really wish we had held him back in the beginning, it would've been much easier (and cheaper). That's why my 4 year old daughter (who will turn 5 beginning of Sept), is not going to kindergarten this year, we'll be patient and wait. They're only little once!

 

[tmatthews]

trust your instincts and ask preschool teacher...as for me (DS born in June-he is NOT going!)

 

[Vickibean]

DS7 just missed the cutoff by 6 days, so I did not have the same problem. I read that keeping children back a year, or "redshirting" them can cause problems because they are at a point when they may not be academically ready, but they need the structure and discipline that kindergarten provides.

 

[AlohaAnnie]

I was facing the same situation last year with Kindergarten our DD6 and is in 1st grade. Our Cut off is August 1st and her birthday is July 24. I was so nervous sending her but her Pre-K4 teacher said she was doing great. I decided to send her despite my nerves. I figured if anything else she would be held back a year and since I send her to public school, It would be free and I would not have to pay for Pre-K4 for another year.

More Money for Disney

So I sent her and I had nothing to worry about. She is usually the youngest in her class and she is at the top of her class.

So I had nothing to worry about.

Please send him. I will be ok, I am so glad that I did not hold her back because of my fear of her failing.

Tina

 

[luvmy2sams]

DS4 will turn 5 on July 21st. He'll be going to full-day kindergarten in July. I'd actually prefer that he only go for half-days, but the school we want him in only offers full-day.

Only you can make that choice for your son. Make an appointment with the kindergarten teacher and principal to see what they recommend, if that would help your decision process.

 

[wen774]

We decided to hold my son back. His birthday is late June. The K is a very academic private school, so when they tested him they said they felt like he could use another year, and we were leaning in that direction as well. His Pre-K teacher said he has made great progress this year and will be more than ready to start K next fall. He is still one of the smallest in his class, so that was a factor too.

We had the same situation with DD(late Aug Bday) and we went ahead and sent her. She is doing well, but I think that in retrospect that another year would have been great for her. But, hey, what can you do?

 

[mlraabe]

I have some experience on this in a couple of ways. First, I teach K3 in our public school and was a Reading Specialist before that. Also, our DD turned 5 the first day of K the year she started. I am so glad I sent her. She would have been bored out of her mind if we would have held her. She is one of 4 in a class of over 100 in the gifted program. Socially, she has many friends and the teachers in the building have told me she is one of the more popular 4th graders. So, I think it worked for her.

Our youngest DS will turn 5 in July, too. I have been going back and forth on sending him. I think he will go to K next year though. Reasons: he has been in our Pre K system for 2 years and this year goes to the full day K4 program. He is starting to read and doing very well academically. I think he would be bored if we waited a year. DS 6 and DS 4 are best friends and have the same circle of friends. I think a year of school between them would take that away. Reasons not to: He is very tiny. This year there are 2 boys in his class that are a year older than him and are just nasty. Not just to him but to everyone in the class and this class will loop to K together next year. I wonder if I just keep him out because of that.

I have had many kids in our remedial reading program who could have benefitted by being held back a year. You know if you think he is mature enough to attend. Trust your instincts.