My 8 year old daughter and I did the tour and dessert party on Monday.
We both enjoyed it, but I wouldn't do either again. I think they are good one off things to experience if you can afford it, but not unmissable experiences.
We originally booked just the dessert party, but once I added in the cost of a breakfast ADR to secure the Jedi training spot, it made more sense to do the tour (obviously that's now changed!)
Our guides were great, but there was a lot of walking over the 7 hour period (crossing the park because of rain and shifting the schedule), plus a fair amount of hanging about and waiting as well. They did a valiant job of spouting trivia to pass the time, but I wouldn't say it was riveting all the time!
We had rain which meant the March of the 1st order was cancelled, so we did a toy story fast pass (!) but we did get to do this later on thankfully.
My daughter loved the jedi training and fighting Darth Vader. Most tour kids were in that group, but not all. I saw an earlier group of Jedi training fight Kylo Ren...
We weren't let into the dessert party any earlier than people attending the party only - although they did start the dessert party slightly early and let both sets of guests in.
However I did notice that tour guests were allowed to cut straight to the front of the meet Chewie and Kylor Ren lines, but dessert party lanyard holders had to wait with park guests in line (bb8 had just one line for all).
The dessert party itself was a bit of a flop for me. Alcoholic drinks were just too sugary sweet. The bread pudding and frozen Nutella were ok. Cupcakes etc were pretty low quality I thought. The reserved area for the show didn't seem any better than elsewhere (maybe it wasn't that busy, but it was Labor Day so it was meant to be?)
My son (who was too young to attend) loves the tie fighter. No idea how I'm getting the damn things home though!