This year will be my first Christmas without my mom and my first Christmas with no parents. My dad died in 2009 and my mom just about a month and a half ago. I don’t know what to do this year. I’ve always lived with my mom and my dad when he was alive I have never been on my own. I did decorate my house and I have Christmas plans. I have Aunts, Uncles and cousins to spend it with but it won’t be the same.
Anyone have any words of wisdom or maybe some traditions that they have done? None of my friends have been through this and while they try and help, it is hard because they have no idea what I am going through.
Thanks
It will never be "the same." You have to accept that. Remember the good times with your parents, be thankful for the time you had with them.
My Dad passed away in 2008 (Alzheimer's) and that first Christmas without him was hard. My Mom died this past July. In my experience it was hard to lose my Dad, but so much harder to lose my Mom. All the "firsts" are hard, it's true. But I'm 60 years old, and just so thankful for the TIME I did have with my parents. Many people don't get the time with their parents that I had with mine. Many aren't close to their parents like I was with mine, so for those things I am truly thankful.
Yes, it will be hard as our family Christmas is this Sunday, at our house as it always is. Mom won't be here in body, but I know she will be in spirit. She was very ill when she passed away, and I wouldn't wish her back the way she was. All I can do is be thankful for our time together and that we were close. We took many trips (Disney, a Caribbean cruise, rented cabins, short 2-night hotel stays for her birthday each year in the destination of her choice, etc.) together and I am so glad I took the time to do that with her. Wonderful memories.
The last couple of years we took my Mom to a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Day, as we always have our family celebration before or after Christmas. I didn't want Mom to be alone on Christmas Day. This year it will be different. DH suggested we still go to the same restaurant, I would rather not as it just wouldn't be "the same."
We have to do something different, create new traditions, make new memories. I think I'm going to get a pre-made dinner from Bob Evans or Cracker Barrel, and we'll stay indoors and watch Christmas movies in our PJ's all day.
I don't have any siblings, but I'm focusing my attention on our adult children, grandchildren and our new great-granddaughter who was born in September.
I'm glad you have aunts, uncles and cousins to spend Christmas with. Focus on what you DO have, not on what you DON'T have anymore.
Hugs to you!