She doesn’t she want to give this up because she does not want to loose her access to use DVC. She still wants some control over something. When the relationship dissolved she got the much shorter end of the stick. I understand that but the past is the past. Her holding on to her entitlement of DVC is all she has left as far as any financial ties between us which now, 10 years later and I have a family and there really shouldn't be any further legal ties between me and my ex. It is also causing strain on my current marriage.
The relationship ended a long time ago I just brought this up to her recently because I want to buy and resell contract and just found out that if the name is not identical then I will have to have a separate membership which I do not want. Obviously I don’t want to put her on a third contract when I’m not with her anymore. Not to mention my wife would kill me. Haha!
I guess it really depends upon how you look at it. I use the membership a lot more than she does. (Let’s say 80% me and 20% her) Simply because she doesn’t have the funds to go on vacations that often which I feel bad and somewhat responsible for since we broke up 10 years ago. So the fact that I pay all of the membership dues and she does not I justify in my head because I use the membership a lot more than she does.
Have I really been GIVING her the vacations? Not really. She did pay for half of the animal kingdom contract through us having a joint account and she would definitely argue that I am not giving her anything based the short end of the stick that she got. When we went our own separate ways she basically surrendered everything so I think this is the last bit of something left that she does not want to surrender because then she would be left with nothing out of the relationship. She also has the most amount of pride I have ever seen in someone so I think there is a matter of principle here as well. I believe her exact words were “they will make an ice-skating ring out of hell before I take my name off the deed“ LOL!
You said that they are selling around the same price per point as what? As what they originally sold for?
I love these does boards because of people like you and the great advice so many people have! This specific threat it is starting to turn into a counseling session which is fine because at this point I obviously need it LOL!
I don’t think I would go this far because as she always reminds me she got the shorter end of the stick. This would definitely be a jerk move on my part if I went this far. She already has A lot of pain and anger towards me and this would just intensify it. I’m trying to be the nice and sensible guy here (unlike 10 years ago when the relationship dissolved).
OP, I apologize in advance if this sounds too harsh, and if I am reading too much into your personal life. Really, I want you to be able to enjoy your DVC and your new family, and I think the best way for you to do that will be to find a way to cut this tie with your ex completely... I don’t know your situation, but it sounds awful, and will probably only get worse until you take steps to address it. You said the past is in the past, but it’s haunting you now, and that’s partly because you’re letting it. It sounds like you feel a lot of guilt and obligation to your ex. My gut reaction is that you are both adults and should not be responsible for each others’ choices/actions anymore (like worrying about how she will pay for the annual dues).
Maybe what you need to do now is make amends for her getting the short end of the stick back then. Like I said though, I don’t know your specific situation.
Do you still have a joint bank account now? How did you split that money up?
Do you have any children with your ex?
You said your ex has used the points about 20% of the time. When was the last time she did? Does she really still want to use DVC for vacations, or is this more for spite?
What did she and you agree to when you split up - how did you two decide to handle your DVC points?
Options:
- Consult a lawyer or mediator to learn about your specific options. Will any offer a free consultation?
- Keep your contracts as is and add a 3rd under a new membership number - and deal with that hassle, as well as the continuing stress of your ex and the strain on your marriage and family, as well as the future complications for your heirs.
- Split the contracts so your ex has one in her name only and you have one in your name only. You could even offer to continue giving her money for the annual dues if you want.
- Sell both contracts and split the proceeds with your ex. Use your part to buy a larger contract in your own name.
- Pay her a sum for her portion of the contracts so she takes her name off the deeds and you keep both.
No matter what, I think you will have to pay something, and probably more than you want. But even if you keep everything as is, that is still costing you something, so you have to decide what that is worth.