Leaving one kid at home and bringing other on cruise? Would you?

[xavier2001]

I don't think toddlers even need vacation. They thrive from routine & loving care. When I see babies & toddlers on trips, I know those trips are really about the older siblings & parents (whether the parents realize this or not). They're so busy discovering the ordinary world around them, they don't need a ton of novelty. In this case, the toddler doesn't need to be dragged along, so don't. Both you and she will be happier.

THIS!! When our twins were toddlers we called them family TRIPS, now that they are older they are truly VACATIONS. I wouldn't feel bad about leaving her home but I would maybe consider another cruise line IF Disney would make you miss her more and not be able to relax and have a baby moon.

 

[TrySomethingNew]

Our oldest DD also thrived on a set schedule (until she was pretty old, actually) and was very difficult when off her high-sleep-needs/ can't-handle-hunger schedule so I can totally get wanting a more relaxed trip. A 2.5 yo isn't going to know anything you don't tell or show her and her sibling won't tell her either! Have fun!!

 

[tlprice]

I would leave her home. At that age, she really won't know. If someday she sees pictures or something and asks about it, you can always tell her that she had her trip on the cruise alone with Mommy and Daddy and this trip was her sibling's turn. I left my daughter home with my mom when she was 2 when I went to Europe. She didn't care at all. She doesn't even remember it. I think my mom cared though. When I called to ask her to come and take care of my daughter, she thought I was calling to ask her to go to Europe with me. Oops!

 

[perditax]

It sounds like you already know what you need to do. I hope you won't let anyone shame you about it.

 

[AgentMama]

I'm one of those parents who doesn't feel like my children are entitled to come on every trip I take. I'm allowed to have a relationship with my husband outside my kids (and that does not make me a bad mom). You're leaving your DD in capable, loving hands, you're an adult, you do not have to justify your decision to your child. Have a great trip!

 

[Lorajo]

We left our 13 month old while we took or 4&8 year old across the country to the Rockies for a week.

Baby was happy with grandparents and the older kids got to have some exciting adventures. It was so nice. No regrets.

A Disney cruise is more oriented for young kids so I might miss a toddler more, but I suppose if you changed cruise lines you'd lose the nursery....

 

[kamik86]

With kids this age I don't see it being a problem.

If you were talking about taking a 7 year old and leaving the 9 year old home... when the 9 year old was old enough to understand what they missed and the 7 year old was old enough to talk and gloat about what they got to do it could be an issue.

However in this case both the kids are young enough that honestly the older one may prefer to be with the grandparents and the baby isn't going to be able to rub anything in the older ones face.

 

[ELSA711]

I wouldn't do it. But don't feel guilty. Many parents do this.
We preach family first and I couldn't take one and not the other two or vice versa. That's just me. My kids would totally debunk my family first speeches.
If it was an adults only trip that is a different story.

Enjoy your time with the baby. It will be the only time that he/she will be the 'only child' and that is special.

 

[Winston Wolf]

We took our kids on their first cruise last year at 7 and 9. Personally, I couldn't imagine cruising with kids younger than that, but I know most do.

 

[bumbershoot]

A recent tragedy in my circle leaves me with this question for my activities. If I die while doing this, was it worth it? If something happens, do you have a will? Will the grandparents have to legally fight to get guardianship? Will the aftermath be OK?

You're assuming your memories of infancy are right and you're assuming this baby will be easier.

I remember this infant phase= being much easier for the plane and travel, being that we don't have to worry too much about food and it can still breastfeed.... AND THE NURSERY!

The two year old still gets the nursery, and hey, you could still have the ease of nursing the toddler. Sure made my life easier, knowing that even as he ate like a toddler (picky and not much) he was still getting loads of nutrition.

 

[tinkerone]

We often traveled without taking the children but it can be hard for them to understand how long you will be gone and when you will be back. Time is not one of their strong points as I'm sure you are aware.

What I did was get a bag of chocolate Kisses. I sat down with each child and explained that mommy and daddy were going on a trip and would be back in x number of days. I would count out x number of kisses with the child and then would actually kiss the bottom of each one in front of them. I explained that each night the child could eat one just before bed and since mommy would not be their to kiss them personally they should think of this as mommys kiss good night. I explained that if they did as I said and only had one kiss each night when they ate the last one they would know when they woke up, that would be the day mommy and daddy were coming home.
Its just a good way for them to be able to understand when you will be back and that you did not dessert them. Its a treat for them to look forward to each night and not forget that they are loved.

Just a silly thing I did but I have suggested it to several friends who used it as well. Thought I would mention it.

 

[jenc842]

We often traveled without taking the children but it can be hard for them to understand how long you will be gone and when you will be back. Time is not one of their strong points as I'm sure you are aware.

What I did was get a bag of chocolate Kisses. I sat down with each child and explained that mommy and daddy were going on a trip and would be back in x number of days. I would count out x number of kisses with the child and then would actually kiss the bottom of each one in front of them. I explained that each night the child could eat one just before bed and since mommy would not be their to kiss them personally they should think of this as mommys kiss good night. I explained that if they did as I said and only had one kiss each night when they ate the last one they would know when they woke up, that would be the day mommy and daddy were coming home.
Its just a good way for them to be able to understand when you will be back and that you did not dessert them. Its a treat for them to look forward to each night and not forget that they are loved.

Just a silly thing I did but I have suggested it to several friends who used it as well. Thought I would mention it.

THAT. IS. GENIUS.

 

[ELSA711]

A recent tragedy in my circle leaves me with this question for my activities. If I die while doing this, was it worth it? If something happens, do you have a will? Will the grandparents have to legally fight to get guardianship? Will the aftermath be OK?

You're assuming your memories of infancy are right and you're assuming this baby will be easier.



The two year old still gets the nursery, and hey, you could still have the ease of nursing the toddler. Sure made my life easier, knowing that even as he ate like a toddler (picky and not much) he was still getting loads of nutrition.

If roles were reversed and I were to do this with my first 2 , I would regret taking the infant and wished I had the 2yr old on the cruise.
My 2nd infant was oh so exhausting. Nothing like my memories of the first infant.

 

[jenc842]

A recent tragedy in my circle leaves me with this question for my activities. If I die while doing this, was it worth it? If something happens, do you have a will? Will the grandparents have to legally fight to get guardianship? Will the aftermath be OK?

You're assuming your memories of infancy are right and you're assuming this baby will be easier.

The two year old still gets the nursery, and hey, you could still have the ease of nursing the toddler. Sure made my life easier, knowing that even as he ate like a toddler (picky and not much) he was still getting loads of nutrition.

Oh, absolutely. Definitely not guaranteeing this second babe will be a dream. I'm planning to reassess next spring before the PIF date - can always add my other kid if she becomes a dreamboat traveler, or cancel the trip altogether if baby is really difficult!

 

[BigredNole]

At 2.5 it won't phase her at all. She will never remember it any way. She may remember the time with her grandparents. The hardest part will be you not feeling guilty.

 

[klug_bug2010]

We are in a similar situation. We have 3 kids- DDs 9 and 5, DS 1.5. We had originally planned on taking all 3, but my dad and stepmom offered to keep DS while we vacationed with the 2 older girls. While I do feel a little guilty, I know for a fact that it will be much smoother and more fun for our girls with just the 4 of us. DS won't remember anything about a trip like this at 1.5 yrs old. Another positive is that we'll be one on one with the girls, as in one parent to one child. This doesn't much happen anymore, and this is a way for us to be more attentive to them for once, instead of their brother.

 

[JJZMgailey]

Hi friends y'all have been so super helpful so far in anything kid related. Need your expertise.

We have cruised once on the Disney Dream with our then 1.5 year old. Oh boy, it was a gorgeous cruise but boy was it rough. She has a rather strong willed/needier personality though, so that contributed heavily to the changes in schedule and dining dilemmas.

Baby number two is on the way and we are thinking of cruising alone with only the 7 month old next year. We want some semblance of a couples getaway, and this is the only solution we can think of. I remember this infant phase= being much easier for the plane and travel, being that we don't have to worry too much about food and it can still breastfeed.... AND THE NURSERY!

But I AM FEELING SO. SO. GUILTY for not bringing the 2.5 year old with. She is hard to travel with though and thrives by routine, and the grandparents have offered to watch her while we cruise and they would spend time with her. (And no, we can't leave the infant at home too because she'll be breastfeeding and grandparents are not comfortable with infant care unfortunately!)

Have any of you done this, or have experience with cruising with a much younger baby (6-7 months)? Do you think we should do it? Or are we crazy beans for thinking this will be somewhat more relaxing than just staying home with 2 kids?

Thanks for asking this question! Your thread was picked to be featured on today's edition of the DIS Daily Fix where Oliver adds some advice of his own for you!

 

[FigmentSpark]

Oh, absolutely. Definitely not guaranteeing this second babe will be a dream. I'm planning to reassess next spring before the PIF date - can always add my other kid if she becomes a dreamboat traveler, or cancel the trip altogether if baby is really difficult!

I think you're better off adding your 2.5 year old now and cancelling her if you decide not to take her. If you get to your PIF date and try to add her, there's a chance you won't be able to do it. If the muster station for your room is full, they won't let you add another person to your room, even though there's a bed for another person.

 

[ahain]

if you are not going to take her, i would plan something specail to do with her -

but think of this - will you feel bad the whole trip, knowing she would have enjoyed X or she would have loved meeting Y princess?

When I was young, staying with grandma WAS something special! I encourage you to go ahead and leave child #1 with grandma, and when you tell her about it, make it sound like a really fun thing for HER. No saying "I'm sorry you can't come on the cruise...." I believe that young kids will usually pick up on & follow the emotion you set forth, so make it sound like it's going to be wonderful and special for her. It's like when a toddler has a minor fall...they usually look at you before they start to cry. If you rush over and dote on them, saying "oh my goodness, are you OK?" then they get the idea that maybe they AREN'T ok if you think there's an problem, so they start to cry. But, when they look at you, if you kind of pass if off as no big deal (say "bonk!" and giggle a little), then they get the message that everything is fine. YEMV

 

[Mickeyhugger]

You asked "would you?" My answer is no. I think ahead to 15-20 years from now, and wonder "will I regret this?" I would. It doesn't matter how much my parents or DH's parents would love to babysit. I would feel guilt, especially if I took along a younger sibling, regardless that they're an infant.