just curious dont want this to get out of control bathroom use

[hertamaniac]

I flew through BWI yesterday and saw that they are re-doing the bathrooms. Yes, they are still separated by gender, but in the women's room the stalls weren't stalls. They had walls from the floor to the ceiling, and actual doors. I think this is so overdue! I don't know how American bathrooms came about, but they are definitely stalls, and all those cracks around the door? Anybody who tries can see into the stall. How many times have you looked under the door to see if there was anyone in the stall? Sure, you don't stick your whole head under there... but you could, or you could look through the cracks (I see kids do this all the time). I think that if there were more privacy with the way bathroom "stalls" were constructed, it'd go a long way to calming people's fears about sharing the bathroom.

This sort of reminds me of Buc-ee's and their claim as cleanest restrooms in America. The one I've been to at Daytona Beach has full length doors, a complete wall on 3 sides and, perhaps most importantly, a dedicated exhaust fan.

 

[BrianL]

All this talk about gaps in the stalls......Last disney trip I was in the restroom, ummm sitting and a toddler crawled under the door. He started to stand, I said Hi honey, he looked at me and crawled out again.

That had to be something. I was at the Tangled restrooms once late at night and a poor CM was dealing with some kids/teenagers who had locked a bunch of stalls and then crawled out so they were inaccessible. He was failing at using a hook-thing, so he was about to crawl under himself.

 

[Disneylover99]

All this talk about gaps in the stalls......Last disney trip I was in the restroom, ummm sitting and a toddler crawled under the door. He started to stand, I said Hi honey, he looked at me and crawled out again.

That’s funny!
And yet scary for you at the same time. All you need is for the mother to notice her child is missing and then to realize they’re in the stall with you. Yikes!

 

[mjkacmom]

Our schools here allow students to use bathrooms and locker rooms that they feel comfortable using, I had kids in the system for over 20 years, no issues. One of my daughters had gender neutral hall bathrooms in her freshman dorm, it was great, sinks out in the open, private rooms with a sink, toilet and shower. Most dorms these days are co-ed with men and women in rooms next to each other.

 

[jo-jo]

That’s funny!
And yet scary for you at the same time. All you need is for the mother to notice her child is missing and then to realize they’re in the stall with you. Yikes!

Yes. I can see that. I bet it was a case of couple of adults and a few kids, everyone thought the other was watching the kids.

 

[disneychrista]

Trans folk are no more likely to assault you then sis-gender folks, which I assume is the issue. We all gotta use the restroom in public. Women use the men’s room as a hack when the men’s rooms line is shorter.

 

[Turn the Page]

I got a similar impression from OP’s first post. I’m not sure why her daughter was upset with her. It seems it’s not enough that her mother chooses to tolerate, accept, and possibly even celebrate. It sounds like she is expected to also participate. At a bare minimum a woman should have the right choose, without ridicule, to silently decline following three men in to a women’s restroom if she feels uncomfortable doing so.

My impression is she made an obvious issue of it. The daughter manages the restaurant and I am guessing she got upset because the mother said something about an issue I'm sure she has heard others complain about many times in the past. If it's a legal issue or she is getting direction from higher up there is really nothing she can do about it.

If she prefers to wait until the people that made her uncomfortable leave that is totally fine. But how did she wait. Did she stand outside the door huffing and grumbling or did she just wait at her table and then go in after the others left?

You can wait until you're comfortable to go in, of course. But you don't get to make a point of expressing your displeasure with the situation.

 

[kdonnel]

I think people worrying about stuff happening in the bathroom are worried about something that is very, very unlikely to happen. When it happens it is big news and gets lots of views but when the number of negative incidents are compared to the number of times people use public restrooms without incident, it is a very tiny number.

To me it is very similar to parents worrying about their child being abducted by a stranger. It happens but so very rarely it should not be a concern.

The bathroom threads on here always make me think of this classic book....

 

[Turn the Page]

I know a trans person. I knew them before their transition, when they were using their dead name. I know them after their transition, and I can see such a difference in them, how living their true life has given them such confidence and just changed everything for the better.

She has chosen her new name, which totally suits her new life. I havent seen her for a few years, we don't live in the same area but if we did meet up and go to lunch and had to use the toilets, then it would be just the same as with any other female I know. Girls go to the toilet together, thats just what we do.

The issue with trans people in general, I think, comes from the fact that not every trans person can pass or wants to pass. There are trans people on YouTube , on TV etc and you would never know they are trans, and if you saw them in using female toilets, there would be no issues.

Its only when a trans person who does not pass , for whatever reason, that it becomes an issue.

Since when did it become ok to have so much interest in other peoples genatalia?

Good for your friend for making the right choice for their life and a successful transition. That's awesome.

But do they really refer to their old name as a "dead" name? I hadn't heard that before, not that I have ever been close to someone before and after their transition, but that does seem a little morbid though I suppose after thinking about it for a minute it does make sense.

 

[Bad Pink Tink 2.0]

But do they really refer to their old name as a "dead" name? I hadn't heard that before, not that I have ever been close to someone before and after their transition, but that does seem a little morbid though I suppose after thinking about it for a minute it does make sense.

Yes in the Trans community, Dead Name is the correct term for the name their parents assigned them at birth. It is offensive to refer to a person by the Dead Name when they have transitioned or are in the process of transitioning and have specifically stated they want to be called a new name.

 

[JLTraveling]

I don't get it. At all. I've spent my entire life using the men's room if the ladies' room line is long. I've lived in coed dorms with gender neutral hall bathrooms. One of my favorite bars (now closed) had gender neutral bathrooms with curtains instead of proper stall doors.

But then, I've also spent my entire life in the theater, where people change costumes in the wings, in front of everyone, if they have a quick change. When I was 11 I was a dresser, helping guys a few years older than me with their quick changes. They're just human bodies. We all have one. Who cares???

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't get it. At all. I've spent my entire life using the men's room if the ladies' room line is long. I've lived in coed dorms with gender neutral hall bathrooms. One of my favorite bars (now closed) had gender neutral bathrooms with curtains instead of proper stall doors.

But then, I've also spent my entire life in the theater, where people change costumes in the wings, in front of everyone, if they have a quick change. When I was 11 I was a dresser, helping guys a few years older than me with their quick changes. They're just human bodies. We all have one. Who cares???

I was involved in theater in college, 2 of my kids were involved in theater starting around 10 in community theater, all through HS, another did all of the HS shows. My kids were also involved in varsity/club sports and dance. At this point they don’t have a modest bone in their bodies, they’ve changed in front of many, many people, backstage, vehicles, dance studios, parking lots… One of my stage hand jobs was to literally dress and undress others.

 

[BrianL]

I don't get it. At all. I've spent my entire life using the men's room if the ladies' room line is long. I've lived in coed dorms with gender neutral hall bathrooms. One of my favorite bars (now closed) had gender neutral bathrooms with curtains instead of proper stall doors.

But then, I've also spent my entire life in the theater, where people change costumes in the wings, in front of everyone, if they have a quick change. When I was 11 I was a dresser, helping guys a few years older than me with their quick changes. They're just human bodies. We all have one. Who cares???

I do get what your saying, and it makes sense, but not everyone is that comfortable about it. I mean, I can, you know, use a stall, but I certainly don't prefer it. I think everyone would be more comfortable if they just enclosed them a bit more. I know it would cost more to build, but I doubt anyone would complain about it once done.

 

[sam_gordon]

One of my stage hand jobs was to literally dress and undress others.

I'm still a teenage boy at heart. I had to read the bolded twice to figure out where the emphasis went.

 

[ShelbyWagon]

I went to a brewery recently that had a single, gender neutral area for the bathrooms. There were probably 15 stalls in a semi-circle with floor to ceiling walls and doors and a group of sinks in the middle. It was the most efficient bathroom experience I've ever had at a brewery! It also looked like it took up less space than having two completely separate bathrooms. I wish more places would use that kind of bathroom setup.

Buc-ee's has a similar setup and they can handle massive crowds. I've seen a line for their restroom snake back towards the front door and I was still in and out in under 10 minutes. They had an attendant stationed at the entrance of the restroom that directed people to open stalls. It can absolutely be done, we just have to stop accepting the cost and corner cutting from our builders/building owners in lieu of our privacy.

 

[ronandannette]

I think people worrying about stuff happening in the bathroom are worried about something that is very, very unlikely to happen. When it happens it is big news and gets lots of views but when the number of negative incidents are compared to the number of times people use public restrooms without incident, it is a very tiny number.

To me it is very similar to parents worrying about their child being abducted by a stranger. It happens but so very rarely it should not be a concern.

The bathroom threads on here always make me think of this classic book....

I agree this is generally true, out in the wider world with people of all descriptions coming and going. I've been wondering though, if the setting here (a high school) might have something to do with this particular situation. Let's not deny the very real possibility that KIDS, regardless of their identification, may be getting up to all sorts of shenanigans in these washrooms and that an unrestricted "self-identification" policy could be abused by some young jack asses (of any gender) to pull some truly troubling stunts. The article doesn't specify their exact complaints, but knowing what we do about the general decline in school discipline, in all regards, I'd say the protesting students may have real cause, in their particular school.

 

[BrianL]

I went to a brewery recently that had a single, gender neutral area for the bathrooms. There were probably 15 stalls in a semi-circle with floor to ceiling walls and doors and a group of sinks in the middle. It was the most efficient bathroom experience I've ever had at a brewery! It also looked like it took up less space than having two completely separate bathrooms. I wish more places would use that kind of bathroom setup.

Buc-ee's has a similar setup and they can handle massive crowds. I've seen a line for their restroom snake back towards the front door and I was still in and out in under 10 minutes. They had an attendant stationed at the entrance of the restroom that directed people to open stalls. It can absolutely be done, we just have to stop accepting the cost and corner cutting from our builders/building owners in lieu of our privacy.

I like how some airports now have signs showing if there are vacant stalls right at the door. They had soemthing similar at Tokyo Disney Resort where there were lights indicating availability. That can be helpful in busy areas.

 

[john7994]

I'm still a teenage boy at heart. I had to read the bolded twice to figure out where the emphasis went.

I am pretty sure you can be older and immature - no need to insult the mature teenagers

 

[monsterkitty]

Schools are swimming in money here for several reasons.
1) Enrollment had dropped. 5% down since 2019.
2) Property tax funding has remained the same despite having fewer students to educate.
3) Voters have approved multiple school bond measures for new construction.
4) Schools have been closed and the land sold off due to the declining enrollment

The district I live in, most of the schools were built in the 1950s. They are over half way through a project to replace every school building. So to your point, almost every bathroom will be new, from the ground up, and in the next few years they all will be.

Schools are not swimming in money. Schools are funded per pupil so if enrollment has declined, so has funding.

If a school once had 1000 student's they were funded for 1000 students. If that same school now only has 800 students, it is only funded for 800 students. However, the school still has to pay for the utilities for the school that once held 1000 students but only with the funds for 800 students.

The increase in operational costs alone with decreased funding takes money from actual classroom instruction.

 

[AppleDumpling]

Honestly, considering how many of the bathrooms in our high school are closed because of all the kids vaping in them, high school bathrooms in general need a complete rehaul.

LOL, back in my high school days, smoking in the bathrooms was a problem too. I avoided going in there as much as possible, and would usually use the bathroom in the girls’ gym locker room, which was cleaner and smoke-free. Another issue for girls was modesty while on their period. The school supplied feminine hygiene products to use in the locker room and in the nurse’s office. (Many states now have laws that require this, especially in low-income areas.)

Transgender is a different issue, but really a small percentage of the population. As a woman, I generally wouldn’t notice nor care if a transgender woman was in a public restroom with me. I’d also be okay with gender-neutral bathrooms if the stall doors offered adequate privacy. I think it would help in public places where lines to the women’s room are typically much longer than for the men’s. (As pp mentioned, there have been times I’ve used men’s rooms in dire situations.)