just curious dont want this to get out of control bathroom use

[Lord Manhammer]

It makes me feel uncomfortable if I’m in the bathroom with my pants around my knees taking care of things and the person next to me looks like a girl but is physically a male

Not only might you not know but who cares what plumbing they have? If they are in a stall doing their business, how does that affect you in any way?

 

[fly girl]

I have to agree with you on this. New Orleans is a very rough town and is also the only time I have been traveling where I felt a little trepidation for the safety situation.

A few years ago when I was at De Gaulle Airport in Paris, I walked into a bathroom and it was mixed gender. And you know what? It was just a bunch of humans doing what all humans need to do every so often. No issues. No awkwardness. I did what I had to do, washed my hands and walked out.

Personally, I don't think it would bother me. Can't deny and say it would be a tad awkward at first, but I think I would grow used to it.

And in reality, probably less likely for inappropriate situations to occur because the perpetrator would know men can come in.

 

[Genie+]

It doesn’t bother me as a lady in the restroom. I’m in a private stall and everyone I don’t know there is a stranger, no matter how they identify. We come out, wash our hands and leave. Tinkles are tinkles. Nothing out of the ordinary there. I guess somebody stripping down by the sink area would be awkward but I’ve never seen anyone ever do that.

Could be different for guys/urinals. I can’t say.

 

[Disneychick13]

If the bathroom stalls (regardless of gender intention) would actually be full stalls with no gaps on all sides that would be a step in the right direction.

In a perfect gender neutral bathroom scenario- Have bathrooms with 2 sides— a smaller side with just urinals, another side with stalls (no gaps!) and sinks and mirrors in a central common area.

To the OP- acting courteously within your comfort zone is always appropriate. If you felt more comfortable waiting then I can’t see any problem with that.

 

[anniemae]

I am seeing more and more individual bathrooms which I think is a good idea to solve the issue of people being uncomfortable. I don't mind either way as long as the bathroom had privacy. I have been in ladies rooms where the gaps are so big the stall door may as well be open. Makes me uncomfortable no matter who looks in, even though it's usually not someone being creepy, usually it's just someone trying to find an empty stall. I love when I go into a bathroom and there is a sturdy door that actually locks and has no gaps.

 

[leebee]

I flew through BWI yesterday and saw that they are re-doing the bathrooms. Yes, they are still separated by gender, but in the women's room the stalls weren't stalls. They had walls from the floor to the ceiling, and actual doors. I think this is so overdue! I don't know how American bathrooms came about, but they are definitely stalls, and all those cracks around the door? Anybody who tries can see into the stall. How many times have you looked under the door to see if there was anyone in the stall? Sure, you don't stick your whole head under there... but you could, or you could look through the cracks (I see kids do this all the time). I think that if there were more privacy with the way bathroom "stalls" were constructed, it'd go a long way to calming people's fears about sharing the bathroom.

 

[BrianL]

They are starting to get rid of the gendered bathrooms in the Pacific Northwest. They just have individual bathrooms that anyone can use with locking doors and the sinks are out in the hallway. Much better for everyone.

This is actually the solution and would make EVERYONE more comfortable, right? I mean, who likes having to go with an 18 inch gap from the bottom of the door to the floor and cracks between the panels? If all bathrooms were single user and gender-neutral, there would be no issues.

 

[Party.Of.4-NY>>>FL]

That is why I don't think it is fair to tell someone that if they feel that sixth sense it is wrong. Like OP with the three in her story. She didn't feel comfortable, I can't tell her she is wrong to feel that way. It isn't fair. And she wasn't unfair to the situation, she didn't create a whole scene over them using the ladies room. She just quietly waited until they were out.

I got a similar impression from OP’s first post. I’m not sure why her daughter was upset with her. It seems it’s not enough that her mother chooses to tolerate, accept, and possibly even celebrate. It sounds like she is expected to also participate. At a bare minimum a woman should have the right choose, without ridicule, to silently decline following three men in to a women’s restroom if she feels uncomfortable doing so.

 

[MillauFr]

This is actually the solution and would make EVERYONE more comfortable, right? I mean, who likes having to go with an 18 inch gap from the bottom of the door to the floor and cracks between the panels? If all bathrooms were single user and gender-neutral, there would be no issues.

They had problems at the Minneapolis airport in the past. They started patrolling it and ended up arresting a high level politician.

 

[mousefan73]

Interesting thoughts on this. What I would like to explain further is if the bathrooms were basically like the family bathrooms that wouldn’t be an issue. Just put up rows of family bathrooms sinks inside each little room or not in the middle woukd not be an issue

Where the issues I see is keeping the bathrooms the way they are now but basically anyone can use either bathroom if that makes any sense

It makes me feel uncomfortable if I’m in the bathroom with my pants around my knees taking care of things and the person next to me looks like a girl but is physically a male

Like what happened at the restaurant

The issue here is the lack of privacy the way bathroom stalls are made in the US. I have an issue have anyone see my underwear because the stalls offer no privacy- both male and female being next to me. This is why I use the handicap stalls simply because they offer more privacy.

I never noticed this until I moved overseas. everytime I go home I cringe at using public bathrooms. the height or lack of stall dividers and worse the gaps simply offer no privavcy. simply make stalls completly private and no issues. Anyone having issues washing hands next to people of the opposite sex need to deal with that IMO

 

[Bad Pink Tink 2.0]

I know a trans person. I knew them before their transition, when they were using their dead name. I know them after their transition, and I can see such a difference in them, how living their true life has given them such confidence and just changed everything for the better.

She has chosen her new name, which totally suits her new life. I havent seen her for a few years, we don't live in the same area but if we did meet up and go to lunch and had to use the toilets, then it would be just the same as with any other female I know. Girls go to the toilet together, thats just what we do.

The issue with trans people in general, I think, comes from the fact that not every trans person can pass or wants to pass. There are trans people on YouTube , on TV etc and you would never know they are trans, and if you saw them in using female toilets, there would be no issues.

Its only when a trans person who does not pass , for whatever reason, that it becomes an issue.

Since when did it become ok to have so much interest in other peoples genatalia?

 

[DisneyOma]

I was just reading about a walk out at a high school over gender bathrooms and transgender students--
the females are afraid of using the bathrooms at school since transgender they/them (sorry but Im not sure of the correct word here)
walking in

I had an incident happen serveral years ago
we went to a restrauant that our DD was a manager
there were 3 guys in there dressed as women
I needed to use the bathroom but they walked into the ladies room ahead of me
I thought Id wait till they came out
our daughter actually got an attidude over the fact that I wouldnt go in there while there were 3 guys
was I in the wrong here

just wondering what others thought of the walk out which I think was in PA
and what happened to me

I work in a small high school that has at least a half dozen transgender students, and one transgender staff member. They are accepted as they are. No walk-outs, no fuss. We have open door bathrooms for those who identify as male or female, and a couple gender neutral single user bathrooms that anyone can use. End of story.

Do you have a link to your article?

 

[sam_gordon]

I don

This is actually the solution and would make EVERYONE more comfortable, right? I mean, who likes having to go with an 18 inch gap from the bottom of the door to the floor and cracks between the panels? If all bathrooms were single user and gender-neutral, there would be no issues.

If all bathrooms were single user and gender-neutral, depending on location, you'd have a BIG issue... time. Imagine a stadium or airport only having bathrooms that can service one person at a time. As opposed to the multi-stall/urinal that can handle dozens simultaneously.

Yes, at smaller establishments, single user would be just fine, but not everywhere.

My understanding about the gaps at the bottom of stalls is to make it easier to mop the floors.

 

[sam_gordon]

I work in a small high school that has at least a half dozen transgender students, and one transgender staff member. They are accepted as they are. No walk-outs, no fuss. We have open door bathrooms for those who identify as male or female, and a couple gender neutral single user bathrooms that anyone can use. End of story.

Do you have a link to your article?

Not sure if this is one the one the OP read, but here you go... https://news.yahoo.com/walkout-elida-high-school-protests-003100580.html

 

[BrianL]

I don

If all bathrooms were single user and gender-neutral, depending on location, you'd have a BIG issue... time. Imagine a stadium or airport only having bathrooms that can service one person at a time. As opposed to the multi-stall/urinal that can handle dozens simultaneously.

Yes, at smaller establishments, single user would be just fine, but not everywhere.

My understanding about the gaps at the bottom of stalls is to make it easier to mop the floors.

It can be done though with several stalls. I've been in hotel srecently where the public restroom in the lobby is off of a hallway in like a "U" shape and there were about 8 individual rooms each with a toilet and sink. They were small. For stadiums, etc. it would basically be a large rooms with the same stalls. it's just that the stalls would have floor to ceiling walls and doors. The sink area could still just be out in the open. It really wouldn't be that thard to just seal up each toilet into a small room.

 

[la79al]

Honestly, considering how many of the bathrooms in our high school are closed because of all the kids vaping in them, high school bathrooms in general need a complete rehaul.

 

[sam_gordon]

It can be done though with several stalls. I've been in hotel srecently where the public restroom in the lobby is off of a hallway in like a "U" shape and there were about 8 individual rooms each with a toilet and sink. They were small. For stadiums, etc. it would basically be a large rooms with the same stalls. it's just that the stalls would have floor to ceiling walls and doors. The sink area could still just be out in the open. It really wouldn't be that thard to just seal up each toilet into a small room.

I agree all that really needs to be done is increase the height of the partitions (down to the floor and say at least 10' off the ground... high enough that someone couldn't stand on a toilet and look over). If you put one of the locks on that indicates whether it's occupied (red/green display on the outside), no one would need to look under to see if there's feet there.

 

[mousefan73]

I don

If all bathrooms were single user and gender-neutral, depending on location, you'd have a BIG issue... time. Imagine a stadium or airport only having bathrooms that can service one person at a time. As opposed to the multi-stall/urinal that can handle dozens simultaneously.

Yes, at smaller establishments, single user would be just fine, but not everywhere.

My understanding about the gaps at the bottom of stalls is to make it easier to mop the floors.

Then for large event places simply make a urinal area... Like at festivals.. you have port o pots and then in an off area, standing urinals. have men with penises use those. Trans men use the stalls ( seeing that the number of men men are significantly higher, problem solved)

 

[jo-jo]

All this talk about gaps in the stalls......Last disney trip I was in the restroom, ummm sitting and a toddler crawled under the door. He started to stand, I said Hi honey, he looked at me and crawled out again.

 

[holden]

When I was a teen we used to use the men's room at the Spectrum in Philadelphia (concert venue) when the women's room line was too long. We didn't give it a second thought.

DD20's high school had gender neutral bathrooms. No door to the bathroom, just to the stalls.