I'm sorry to be dumping here. I just need it out of my brain and heart.
I'm struggling trying to stay positive and resilient. Frankly, I'm feeling heart broken and scared. I have been pretty sick for almost a year and have tried off and on to pursue what the heck was going on but would be told everything is okay and I'd go about my day thinking just must be me.
Finally I hit a wall of pain and sickness and exhaustion and I spoke up at my annual women's exam. She took some blood word and was quite surprised to see I had enough estrogen flowing for two ovaries, which is surprising when I have none. Off to get a CT scan done and I have large pelvic mass growing and likely more endometriosis growing as result of the free flowing estrogen from the mass. I am just a hot mess of emotion right now. This will be the 5th surgery in 4 years for all this mess. I wake up every time from surgery in tears wanting it to be the last time and being told it would be the last time. It never is. And now we have big fear the mass is likely more than just weird leftover ovary but possibly developing into more. Just lot to process and trying to say oh it's fine. It's always fine, right...
Maybe send up prayer or good thoughts. We can use it.