How to say no when someone does not hear me the traditional way

[Wendy1985]

Asking on here against my better judgment but when someone keeps asking for your help but don’t hear when you say no I need ideas on how to say no to someone who does not hear it I want to be nice about it if possible

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Asking on here against my better judgment but when someone keeps asking for your help but don’t hear when you say no I need ideas on how to say no to someone who does not hear it I want to be nice about it if possible

Sadly, there are people who you just have to keep repeating yourself to.

Maybe form it into a bigger statement than just "no". For example:

"I appreciate that you want my help, but I just can't do it."
"I'm sorry, I don't have time to help you currently."
"I'm sure you can handle it on your own, good luck."

 

[Marrila]

I'm sorry, but I can't help with that.

 

[ronandannette]

You don't need new ways to say no - you just need to hold to your own boundaries. Keep calm and kind, if possible and just continue to decline if you're asked to do something you can't or won't do. It's not necessarily realistic to expect the other party to change their behaviour UNLESS you are ready and willing to say to them very clearly "Do not ask me for help again because I am not able to give it and your persistence is making me uncomfortable, which may start to damage our relationship". That might be a step beyond where you want to go.

 

[Wendy1985]

I told her I am booked every day I will update you guys

ETA I got a response she wants me to do it at night I told her I go to bed early

 

[Disney.Dreamin.Dee]

If you've politely said you can't and they keep asking then you need to be very direct.

A family friend started asking my parents, my sisters, and myself for money with various excuses like her daughter hid her wallet or her daughter would not be able to go on a field trip if she didn't have a jacket that zipped etc.
We gave her money a couple times but then started to suspect things were not as she said.
For example the daughter that needed the jacket had just been seen in a FB post 3 days prior with a perfectly fine jacket.
So we directly told her to no longer ask us for money.
Unfortunately my parents can't even visit her parents anymore when they go on vacation because they asked my parents for money the last 3 times they decided to stop over.
My parents would have taken them out to eat or to the store or whatever but straight up asking for cash just because you know my parents could afford to give you some is disrespectful and my parents have plenty of bills to pay themselves.

 

[Wendy1985]

I blackmailed not proud of it but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do

 

[Disney.Dreamin.Dee]

I told her I am booked every day I will update you guys

ETA I got a response she wants me to do it at night I told her I go to bed early

Be direct.
Don't skirt around that fact that kyou do not want to help.

 

[diznygirl]

“No, that won’t work for me. As I mentioned already I cannot help”

Some people just think No is a challenge.

 

[sonnyjane]

Be direct.
Don't skirt around that fact that kyou do not want to help.

This. Sounds like they're not hearing "no" because you're not saying "no". You're giving excuses that are causing them to come up with alternatives. You need to say you're not interested.

 

[Wendy1985]

This. Sounds like they're not hearing "no" because you're not saying "no". You're giving excuses that are causing them to come up with alternatives. You need to say you're not interested.

you are right no is a complete sentence I need to remember that

 

[Hisgirl]

Keep saying the exact same thing.
You do not need to set yourself on fire to keep anyone warm.

No means no.

Just say "I cannot do it, but I'm sure you'll find someone."

She pushes, say it again, exactly. Keep repeating it.

 

[bgirldeb]

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Just stick with “no, sorry I can’t.”

 

[ronandannette]

I blackmailed not proud of it but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do

What?!?

 

[Wendy1985]

What?!?

I told her if she kept asking me to help I would not give her money she has been talking about how she is having a hard time having money for food and stuff I would not be heartless I know of plenty of food banks

 

[Silver saucer]

No, Im sorry.
No I'm sorry
No I'm sorry
No I'm sorry
No' Im sorry
Etc, etc, etc.
Do not give an explanation why not or it will just open dialog. You can be nice but literally just repeat No I'm sorry. Even it it's 10 times, or 20 times or more.

If asked "why not" just repeat
No, I'm sorry
No I'm sorry
etc
Just be calm
This does work. I learned this at a work seminar years ago.
Best of luck to you.

 

[FigmentSpark]

I guess if "no" doesn't work, you could always say "yes" and then not show up. Not nice, but if you disappoint them enough times, they won't rely on you again.

 

[prairie_girl]

I told her if she kept asking me to help I would not give her money she has been talking about how she is having a hard time having money for food and stuff I would not be heartless I know of plenty of food banks

Sounds like she’s taking advantage of you. Would she still be your friend if you weren’t giving her money? Maybe you need to find out.

 

[Skippy918]

Just say no. If this person needs help with food, rent, etc, they can call 211 in the US and see what resources are available. Give this person a list of food banks or non profits that help people in their situation.

 

[Wendy1985]

For those asking if we would still be friends no we would not I don’t blame her but something about her reminds me of High school and by far I am not proud of who I was then that is why I tried so hard to change and grow up she is only 2 years younger then me and she has not changed and she can’t afford the tools I used it is not her fault like I said I am very blessed

I used therapy still use it and I joined a gym and that helped but it was not your typical gym it was more like a club we would work out together as well as hang out together