How to say no when someone does not hear me the traditional way

[DisneyOma]

And if they ask again: I'm sorry, I said no before, what part of no did you not understand? The N or the O?

This is what I say to the kids at school! I've actually never seen/heard it anywhere else until right now, and I've been saying it for decades.

OP - ask her why she keeps asking you when you've told her no many times. Perhaps you are not being clear enough for her, or she is trying to wear you down. Either way, when she has answered, just tell her that you don't want to do it, and please stop asking.

 

[barkley]

i've had to tell people in the past 'no, and if you ask me again or bring up the subject i will end the conversation immediately'-and i've done so by saying 'i've told you i won't talk about this-goodbye' and hanging up the phone or walking out/away.

 

[Wendy1985]

This is what I say to the kids at school! I've actually never seen/heard it anywhere else until right now, and I've been saying it for decades.

OP - ask her why she keeps asking you when you've told her no many times. Perhaps you are not being clear enough for her, or she is trying to wear you down. Either way, when she has answered, just tell her that you don't want to do it, and please stop asking.

Because she does not know how despite me being two years older she does not know how to use technology I on the other hand depend on it from my health to entertainment

 

[lifesavacation]

If someone has the nerve to ask you twice and push for a yes, you shouldn't worry about hurting their feelings. I'd go with a simple, no, please don't bring it up again. And if she's rude enough to ask a 3rd time, well then I'd respond with something equally as rude.

 

[JimMIA]

If someone has the nerve to ask you twice and push for a yes, you shouldn't worry about hurting their feelings. I'd go with a simple, no, please don't bring it up again. And if she's rude enough to ask a 3rd time, well then I'd respond with something equally as rude.

Yeah, I think I'd approach it like this:

1. No.
2. NO.
3. What part of NO do you not understand?

 

[disykat]

The less words, the better. In her mind, every word past "no" means you are still considering it.

 

[Wendy1985]

The less words, the better. In her mind, every word past "no" means you are still considering it.

that was s probably why no is a complete sentence

 

[JimMIA]

The less words, the better. In her mind, every word past "no" means you are still considering it.

Exactly. The problem here is that this person is trying to bully you into saying yes, so saying, "No, because..." just encourages her to keep trying.

You have to be blunt, and then just stop answering altogether. If she asks again, just walk away or hang up on her.

 

[ronandannette]

that was s probably why no is a complete sentence

Is this friend a special-needs person who is used to relying on others for everything?

 

[little tess]

Say: "No, I'm not going to post pictues and prices for you. Please don't ask me again". Repeat each time she asks until she stops.

Be clear, take responsibility for your feelings (which are perfectly legitimate) and say exactly what you mean.

 

[Wendy1985]

Is this friend a special-needs person who is used to relying on others for everything?

yes

 

[barkley]

Is this friend a special-needs person who is used to relying on others for everything?

yes

then you may need to use the technique i use with my special needs son-

each time he asks again for something i've told him 'no' to previously i say 'what did i say the last time you asked?'. i listen to what he says and remind him 'my answer was no, it's still no'.

 

[ronandannette]

yes

Then it might be of benefit to both of you to let her caregiver or primary support person know what this need is so they can redirect and guide her towards other resources for the help she’s looking for. And I would urge you to resist using some of the snarkier suggestions you’ve received. You likely already know those would not be processed by her in the way a healthier person could and would just end up seeming hurtful and unkind. That said, you still DO NOT have to do something you’re not able or willing to do so don’t take that part of it on.

 

[Wendy1985]

Then it might be of benefit to both of you to let her caregiver or primary support person know what this need is so they can redirect and guide her towards other resources for the help she’s looking for. And I would urge you to resist using some of the snarkier suggestions you’ve received. You likely already know those would not be processed by her in the way a healthier person could and would just end up seeming hurtful and unkind. That said, you still DO NOT have to do something you’re not able or willing to do so don’t take that part of it on.

I wish her younger brother would help her learn how to use technology it is a big piece of the puzzle of my independence

example one

I can use it to order a car service if my doctor needs to see me in person

example two

the Apple Watch so I can have the dignity to shower with out a traditional baby sitter when I am having a bad day with my vertigo