Help DIS Homeschoolers Help me convince my DH

[busymomma123]

My DH and I are having a little trouble seeing eye to eye on Homeschooling our DS6 and our DD5. We both agree the quality of education is better. However he still needs lots of convincing about the socialization. There are a lot of homeschoolers (I'm told) in the area with lots of programs for them. (music, art and gym classes at the Y) However he still worries that they wont know how to handle themselves with other children and will become the unknown child in social settings. Please help with any advice you can give. You guys have given awesome advice in the past. Thanks so much!!!

I have even tried to tell him it will make our Disney trips even easier, but he's just not buying it.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Have you done a search on Yahoo groups for homeschooling? I'm sure there are other groups too, but that's a start. Anyway, I'm a member of several groups. Some are local, some aren't. The local ones have get togethers, play groups, clubs, field trips. Lots of opportunities to develop and maintain friendships.

There's boy scouts, girl scouts, swim team, county/recreation sports teams that are all great for interaction too.

I have to chuckle when I hear about school and "socialization". When I was in school, all I ever heard was, "You are not here to socialize." LOL. I know it happens sheerly because you are part of a large body of people. But from my experience it wasn't encouraged! LOL.

 

[busymomma123]

I forgot about hearing the not here to socialize.

 

[busymomma123]

I forgot about hearing the not here to socialize line.
Thanks for the yahoo group info.

 

[Familyofsix]

In today's schools they are not allowed to socialize. It's sit still and no talking and those that are ahead of the class are bored to tears. I was one that wondered the same thing and found out how wrong I was. My children are so socialized that sometimes I think I am the one that needs an appointment to spend some time with them. Between Girl Scouts, ballet, all-star cheerleading, art classes, cooking school, ect ect there is plenty of socialization.

 

[sara74]

I'd love to homeschool and have started testing the waters with DH. I can see that he would be all for it if it wasn't still so rare. I can tell that he wonders what people will think (esp his sister who is a public school teacher for 20 years now!) I just keep talking about all the wasted time that there is in school with one teacher to so many kids and how they need to teach to the lowest level in the class and the chance that our child is the lowest level is pretty slim, which means she will be sitting there bored much of her day...

Good luck, if you find something that convinces your DH, would you email it to mine?

 

[razamataz]

Although I am not a homeschooler, 3 of my sisters are either currently or have homeschooled their children in the past. I would definitely agree with there being some socialization issues. (I have seen this in my own family.)

2 of them homeschooled because of their personal religious convictions. One of them homeschooled because of her husband's job schedule. All three of them have truly enjoyed the experience, but admit that there are times when it is/has been really difficult.

I would agree that having a good support group could alleviate some of these socialization issues.

There is a website where they go to get moral support from other homeschooling moms. It is for any homeschooling mom, but overall, it has a Christian religious viewpoint.

Please feel free to PM me, if you want more detail about this website.

Hope this helps.

 

[KJMAX1]

We have four children and are homeschoolers. We started two years ago and its been great. We joined a homeschool co-op and for 20.00 per month my oldest daughter who is 7 had several classes once a week. Our co-op has over 500 kids attending. Its HUGE....However, I love it because you get to know other parents who are experienced and can tell you when and when not to worry about schooling it makes you feel "okay". Also other kids who can be friends to your children and make them feel "normal". Homeschooling in WA state is not abnormal. In fact many school disctricts here have programs just for homeschoolers to take, like math or science. These are not in regular classrooms but schools just for homeschoolers all state paid. The state has also started offering public education ONLINE free of charge. George Lucas homeschools his children, and believes all kids should go to this system in order to create better teaching and learning. My kids are also involved in a scouts type of program, a homeschool field trip group, swim lessons, parks department programs, soccer, rock climbing, Sunday School, and not to mention all the friends they have over. Personally for my husband and I, we do not care for our school district. Even though they rank on the top ten list in WA state, they are horrible. Frankly, I dont want my kids learning what most of those kids up at the local school learn or teach each other . I have realized that my daughters style of learning would NEVER work out in a school room. She would end up being bored. She likes to experience things and going to a museum, to really see things first hand makes a much greater impact than looking in a book at a desk.

We go every June to our State Homeschooling convention held at our state fair grounds. Its 10.00 to get in and you can pour through hundreds of vendors tables, with all sorts of books and tools. I found my DD needed a potpourri of sorts for learning. I couldnt use just one set of curriculum with my DD. I also went to the lectures offered at the convention and learned about various issues that might arise such as how she would learn, how to handle record keeping, special needs teaching....etc. You might want to see if you have a state homeschooling group. From there I found local chapters as well. It never hurts to join even if you dont do it the first year of schooling. I have a friend who's son just completed Kindergarten and she is now homeschooling him next year. He was labeled very quickly and is being "punished" a lot by the teacher. Its not the teacher's fault, but its exactly like she says...She doesnt have time to be redirecting them, because she has to get X amount of school work in to test them. Its kind of sad what has happened to schools. I remember all the fun cool things about school that we just loved . Most of that has been stripped away now because of political correctness, or because they simply dont have time. Email me if you want me to help you find some local support groups.

 

[Jon99]

I have taught in public schools for 17 years and have coached youth football for 16.. In my time, we have had 4 home schooled kids play youth football and their social skills were just awful, had a hard time even saying hi to the other kids. I just cringe when I even hear people mention home schooling as a solution.

Won't even get into the educational factors as these kids head into junior high and high school...

 

[katyjeka]

This is our 3rd year homeschooling our oldest DD. We also plan on hs'ing our 2 younger DD's. When I decided I wanted to do this my husband was somewhat hesitant. I visited 2 local colleges and actually met with counselors. They informed me they welcome homeschooled children, and that the kids do very well. This was my DH's biggest fear. Our situation was a little different, as our DD went to public school for 3 yrs. and had made alot of friends. To this day, she remains close to many of them. She also belongs to a swim team(this will be her 3rd year), and competes almost weekly. She attends our local college for science and reading labs and is already learning Latin. All classes offered by the college for homeschooled children. Her public school friends think it's so "cool" that she is going to college.(Girls at 11 can be sooooo funny!) Our DD is confident, well educated, good mannered, and her social skills are better than alot of children that are public educated. Homeschooling is NOT easy and must be taken seriously. We travel quite a bit, not only to WDW. She spent 3 days in Belize(this past Dec.), one of which was spent in a classroom, and had no problem communicating with the children. She is by no means shy. I do agree with the above poster. I've seen many homeschooled children who are shy and seemed somewhat confused by "life". I also have met many children enrolled in school who are the same way. This will not work for everyone, but it DOES and CAN work. Social skills are taught at home from when a child is first born. We make sure our DD's are exposed to life and all things that come with it.Good luck in your decision. I remember how hard it was for us to decide. Not that it makes a difference, but we now laugh about how worried we were. To the above poster, I believe you have a right to your opinion, and it is respected. I would however, love for you to meet our DD. She would shock the "heck" out of you and show you that not all homeschooled children behave in that manner. Her swimteam, which practices at our local highschool, had a problem keeping male swimmers.(It just was not considered cool with the boys) She came up with the idea to "challenge" the highschool football team to a relay event. We had a great time and the money raised was donated to the American Cancer Society. Needless to say, the fb players were quite surprised by the endurance and strength of our swimmers, girls included. We actually have a few who joined to stay in shape for football and track in the off season.(We've had alot of fun with the "jocks" who have joined and look forward to the rematch this coming year.)This idea was our daughters, not ours, and she was very involved in the planning. She is a leader, not a follower, and often too outspoken! Something we are trying to work on. I did not mean to offend anyone, we love football, honest!, I just hate to see homeschooled children grouped together as a whole. They too, are as different, as children at the local school. I have yet to see two who behave alike. Janice

 

[noodleknitter]

Have him spend a wee bit of time around a group of PS 10 year old boys and a group of HS 10 year old boys. That will convince him. It is the difference between being taught "socialization" by an ignorant peer group or by adults who know how to interact.

 

[noodleknitter]

Won't even get into the educational factors as these kids head into junior high and high school...


Luckily the colleges don't agree...

 

[Hannathy]

No offense but asking a homeschooler if their children are socialized is the same as asking a parent who's kid is spoiled if they are spoiled. Of course the homeschoolers are going to defend what they are doing if they didn't they shouldn't be doing it.

However there is more to socialization than getting along with friends. There is also learning to deal with different styles of managment and expectations that happens with different teachers which carries over to adulthood and the work environment. Many times in life we have to do something the way it is done at that company or bosses way and it can't be adapted to my personal learning or work style and I wonder what will happen to those who have always had things done to fit into their personal comfort zone.

 

[noodleknitter]

Hmmmm. Comfort zones. You don' think that sitting in the same sorts of classrooms day in and day out for 12 years create a comfort zone? Too many kids can only function in that artificial situation. Most have not learned any skills that partain to "real-life" rather than school. That is why so many have such a difficult time coping with bosses, and their co-workers who are not a same-age peer led group. Let alone being unable to write a basic memo or make change without a cash register telling them how.

My kids have testified before the State Legislature about a specific concern. One did a 6 month apprenticeship with a cabinet maker, another worked at the Humane Society, they have preformed in the theatre, and the Symphony. They are obtaining degrees, and one is studying abroad. They have had their own businesses, and learned first-hand the responsibilities involved. They have volunteered in nursing homes, the Red Cross, and tutored children having difficulty in school. A much more varied life-style than 12 years of classroom time.

 

[katyjeka]

As I mentioned above, social skills are taught from day one. My children do understand and adapt well to directions given to them by adults other than their parents. I have yet to meet a teenager, or for that matter any child who like following orders. My DD is aware that she must do so. For everyone who does not homeschool, our days are NOT spent staying home, hiding in our house, and shielding our children from the "outside" world. My DD is very responsible, outgoing, and can hold a conversation with most adults. She will be more than ready to hold a job and function in the society without "mommy and daddy". In response to your comment, ask a parent or person who knows nothing about homeschooling to address the subject. One will always get a answer such as yours. We are teaching our children to be open minded, and to not judge a situation until you are aware of all the facts. As stated in my previous post, it may not be the answer for everyone, but given responsible parents, it can work. By the way, I drop my daughter off at the campus, she enters alone, walks to her class, is responsible for her own material, and actually functions without me. She takes "orders", follows directions, and does wonderful. She has just turned 11, how are we not preparing her for the future? Janice

 

[noodleknitter]

No offense but asking a homeschooler if their children are socialized is the same as asking a parent who's kid is spoiled if they are spoiled. Of course the homeschoolers are going to defend what they are doing if they didn't they shouldn't be doing it.


So, the same would go for PS parents, I suppose... Since a parent obviously cannot see outside of their own perspective?

 

[Jon99]

I am a high school math teacher, I would not want to teach my children biology, chemistry, English or a foriegn language.. How is it possible that a parent can accomplish this when teachers can't?? I think its irresponsible for people here to suggest that homeschooling is a good thing without knowing the situation.. For every "well adjusted" homeschooled kid, how many are out there that are socially retarded?

 

[Hannathy]

And my DD has done the same volunteer activities and gone to school. Many of you are comparing average classrooms to your home school environment. I agree many of the poorly run schools are not preparing the average child well but compare it to a charter school or a program for the gifted, you will find they do many of the same things. What I was pointing out was who grades your children other than the college classes? Do they have to deal with different teachers who grade very differently? Do they need to adapt their writing styles to please a different CA teacher? Do they need to learn to deal with a teacher who just doesn't like boys and grades them harder? Or another student who gives them a hard time for no good reason. What about competition in the classroom- when do they find out there are many kids just as smart,curious and well behaved and many are smarter. I'm glad you enjoy homeschooling and your DD is thriving but it is possible to be just as advanced and independent in a well run in-school program. There are pros and cons to both sides but it seems that the homeschoolers IMO always get much more defensive of their oppinion. Homeschool if you want, and I'll use the school, we live in an excellent school district and my DD is exposed to more subjects and taught at a level that no one person could ever do and is thriving.

 

[katyjeka]

I believe you may have misunderstood me. We also live in a excellent school district and many of the children who attend are thriving. Of course, public, private or homeschool, you will always have children who do better than others. Our district actually started computer only classes.(Which is a great idea!)I have a couple of good friends who teach in our district. They are excellent teachers, and care greatly for their students.(Sadly, some of the teachers care more than the parents)Yes, my DD is thriving, but she does understand she is not the smartest child alive. In my first post I did state that homeschooling does work but not for everyone. I would never suggest it to anyone, it is to big of a decision to be made by strangers. I'm happy that your DD is also thriving in public school. (I am not anti-public school, if that makes sense?)As I stated above, I respect you and your opinion. Thankfully we live in a country that also thrives on different opinions. Have a great day. Janice

 

[busymomma123]

Wow! I didn't intend to start such a debate. The socialization issue does not worry me. My DS could make friends with a wall. He is a very social person, just like his dad. My DD is shy just like me. I attended PS and still turned out shy and backwards.

She attends our local college for science and reading labs and is already learning Latin.

I love that. That seems like such a better socialization experience than most 11 year olds have. How exactly did you find out about this type of program?
You all have sparked more excitement about this with me. Thanks so much!!!