Has anyone lied to their kid's school about being sick for Disney?

[jaybirdsmommy]

Wouldn't make a difference in our district, all absences are unexcused unless you have a DR's note. Miss too many days and you start getting warning letters. It's been this way since my oldest (now 20) was in kindergarten. Ours re-set every semester.

With that said, they're your kids. We're getting ready to have our youngest (13) join us on a job site for 3 days due to sitter issues. I'm not going to tell the teachers anything. They all keep their assignments online, he can keep up remotely. I'll write him a note when we get back saying sorry he couldn't be there, they can contact me if they have any issues.

 

[pindecisive]

I generally think that prior to middle school, public school is mostly daycare and primarily there for socialization.

Most public school policies prevent students from doing classwork ahead of time and generally aren't working with high achievers to have them test out. Many students could graduate early, but public schools get funding per child so it's not in their best interest to have students learn quickly and leave.

A lot of parents don't consider this, but many children can test out of high school and graduate early. Another great option is continuation high school, which usually fast tracks graduation and tends to work directly with the child with their specific learning needs.

Grades and attendance prior to high school hold no weight whatsoever unless you're trying to get into a posh private school. Most public schools will still pass your child into high school even if they epically fail middle school.

There's no reason to feel bad taking them on educational trips or vacations. This is time with them you will never get back, so I'd take the trip and ignore the note.

 

[Anna131517]

Check your state law on truancy. Also check if you have to provide a medical note after a certain number of sick days. That letter you got may just be automatically generated, or they could really mean business. It just depends on where you live. We do take our kids out of school for a weeklong vacation every year but our school / state doesn’t have a problem with that and my kids all do fine in school. They do have to do schoolwork while they’re gone though.

 

[Yarbogash]

During the summer, the HS principal sends out emails. He kept saying that a new, stricter attendance policy was coming. My daughters HS attendance policy has always been strict in my opinion but they have managed to make it even more strict. But this doesn't come from the HS level, it's the county/state level. Policy for us is if there are 10 unexcused absences, you'll be directed to the school social worker. She will work with parents and students to "get you back on track." If this doesn't work or problem still exists, it goes to the court. If my daughter misses 3 or more days of school due to illness, a doctor's note is required. If I bring her to school late or take her out early for a doctor's appointment, a doctor's note is required. If note not given, all unexcused absences. One of the new rules is if my daughter is out of school for the day, sickness/family emergency....something that will be an excused absence, she must contact all her teachers that she is out and ask what did she miss and make it up. A friend of mine took her 2 boys (pre K and second grade) out of school a couple of days early before Thanksgiving because of long road trip. She received a letter from the school and she had to show up at the school board. In saying all this I'd just say to make sure your school's (county/state) policy. We haven't taken our daughter out of school for vacations. But especially now in HS, just not happening. Even my daughter has said "no vacations when I'm in school." She's afraid of missing too much, making up what she missed and catching up. And she's a straight A student.

Wow. I would move.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Wow. I would move.

Thankfully this is her senior year. Just received email about graduation fee. $160. Ouch. I'm so over this.

 

[HopperFan]

A lot of parents don't consider this, but many children can test out of high school and graduate early. Another great option is continuation high school, which usually fast tracks graduation and tends to work directly with the child with their specific learning needs.

My DD graduated high school at 16. She was the first person to do it in a decade and they were sure it wasn't possible. It was an extremely heavy load during the day plus online plus spending a summer 6-8 hours a day in front of a computer for 7 weeks. 4 semesters in 7 weeks. Touring college at 15 is interesting for sure. My only issue with this is sometimes one is prepared to do this academically but they are no where near mature enough. It was great for DD, but not for everyone because once you graduate you are in a whole new world.

There's no reason to feel bad taking them on educational trips or vacations. This is time with them you will never get back, so I'd take the trip and ignore the note.

I don't think most care about a note but the problem is for some of us that note leads to a truancy charge which can lead to children's services getting involved, social workers etc. Sometimes one has to consider the consequences. Around here it can also mean all zeros, no makeup work and even being unregistered from school.

 

[popy]

i would not Lie, but i wound not mention it , only if i was questioned, use family business,
then if that was question, who cares unless they are paying your bills. then go to I DONT KNOW!,
who Knows? I DONT KNOW!

 

[Mirabell Rose]

I was faced with this dilemma once for taking my one child out of high school for one extra day before a school break began. He got sick on the late night plane ride to WDW and spent the morning in bed at the resort. Problem solved, he was sick.

I get the whole ‘don’t want to lie’ argument, and the one time other than that one day when the kids missed a week we did the whole advance notice thing. Even though the school policy was teachers didn’t have to let them make up work, they all did. But it was just too hard for them to miss much school with the competition for grades and college acceptance.

When our youngest (much younger than the older ones) came along with a significant disability, we realized grades would never matter for her so we started a week a year out of school. It was a tremendous help for our mental well being.

So I’m of a different mindset about ‘sick days’. If it gives your family a mental well being refresh that you feel keeps you well, I say go for it and do what you need to do to make it happen. Most schools are just dealing with rules set forth by state legislatures, and we all know they have a ton of days off.

 

[PAsFab5]

I was a child who was made to lie to teachers and classmates very often, because my parents never planned anything and if they decided they wanted to go someplace we were going and mom called us in sick, often for a week at a time.

It was overwhelming to keep these lies straight to my teachers and classmates.

More importantly, lying became part of my lifestyle because my parents taught me to do it from a very young age, for their benefit. It was incredibly difficult to break the habit.

I have 3 kids, 2 of which graduated from public school and youngest attends high school through cyber charter.

I took my kids out whenever needed and was honest about it. I did receive a few letters with threats but nothing was ever done.

These are your children, not the states and not the schools. You do what you know and feel is best for them, while setting a good example about being honest. I promise you the example of honesty is more important to your kids than any threat from the school.

 

[Karin1984]

Thankfully this is her senior year. Just received email about graduation fee. $160. Ouch. I'm so over this.

Wow, never heard of this. Not a custom in my country. They really charge you an additional fee for graduating?

Is there anyway around it?

 

[CamillaF]

What state are you in? Many school districts do this in my State of Washington. They send the letters to scare the parents as they have to have so many days in school to get funding from the state. If you take them out of school for vacations and then also get sick they might not have enough school hours to get funding. However the state law is very clear that schools can only turn you into the state for unexcused absences. The state cleanly says that sickness, absence's that are approved of before and religious and or cultural abbesses are always excused. I am sure I can find something in there to allow for a Disney trip. Read the exact law..... I am sure it is not as strict as the school wants you to believe. Then follow it. Don't have your kids lie. Just show them that sometimes people including schools only let you know about the part of the policy they want.

 

[SandyinMonterey]

Wow, never heard of this. Not a custom in my country. They really charge you an additional fee for graduating?

Is there anyway around it?

Yep, And if not paid by October 31st, it goes up to $175. It continues to increase as it gets closer to graduation.

 

[lanejudy]

Wow, never heard of this. Not a custom in my country. They really charge you an additional fee for graduating?

Is there anyway around it?

I can't speak to the OP's specific charge, but it's typical to have additional charges to cover various aspects associated with graduation: cap & gown, announcements, yearbook, class party or other events, etc. Some schools bundle it all together and charge a flat fee for all of it, other schools (like mine) allow the family to choose which items they want. Though some are require to participate in certain events (no cap & gown = no grad ceremony).

ETA: you are still graduated from the school if you don't participate, but if any fees are mandatory they will likely hold the official diploma and transcript until paid.

 

[Rich M]

This was about 10 years ago now but I would tell me son's school we were taking him out and for how long. The teachers would give him his work before he left and he would have to do 2 hours of school work everyday while we were on our trip. Most times he did a bunch on the flight and ended up getting it done prior to the trip. Some teachers made him do a photo diary of the trip.

 

[katyjeka]

Wouldn't make a difference in our district, all absences are unexcused unless you have a DR's note. Miss too many days and you start getting warning letters. It's been this way since my oldest (now 20) was in kindergarten. Ours re-set every semester.

With that said, they're your kids. We're getting ready to have our youngest (13) join us on a job site for 3 days due to sitter issues. I'm not going to tell the teachers anything. They all keep their assignments online, he can keep up remotely. I'll write him a note when we get back saying sorry he couldn't be there, they can contact me if they have any issues.

Our district is the same, no one is excused without a DR's note. I used to ask for DR's note on the job from employees who repeatedly called off. It wasn't until I overheard a conversation between a couple of them discussing how to print one for free online that I quit asking!! We are not allowed to call the doctor to verify the slip so it was just a waste of time. I can understand a school asking for it if your child misses an extended period of time but I never understood for a couple days. Kids get sick and not every sickness warrants a trip to the doctor.

 

[brockash]

First let me clarify that we do value education and don't pull our kids out of school for just any reason.

Last year I had to travel to Orlando for work and took my kid to Disney with us for a week. I was honest with the teacher ahead of time and was told not a problem have a great time.

Well then weeks later we get a letter saying we are in violation of attendance policy and could be prosecuted. The school district does not allow vacations and travel.

So now this year I have to go the same trip again and rather than being honest about it with the school I was just going to mark my kid sick. I feel so guilty though because I'm a terrible liar and I'm afraid the teacher will judge us and worse my child. However the whole family is really looking forward to this week and an extra day of family time and we really cherish the memories that we will make.

Any opinions?

I would not worry about the letter. They. are automatic letters that are generated once a kid hits usually, 5, 10, 15, and 20 days. They mean NOTHING. No public school is going to do anything with them. Trust me we have a very difficult time getting CPS or outside agencies het involved when students are missing 40+ dsys and failing everything. I'm a school counselor and there have been years that my kids have gotten the letters. As long as your kid isn't missing TONS of days AND failing classes; I would not worry about it in the slightest. I'd be honest with them, give the teacher a heads up and throw the letter promptly in the trash if you get it. Enjoy your vacation!

 

[greeneyedchick]

Yes, because in our district, vacation isn’t an excused absence. If it’s not excused then the teachers have to give you zeros in missed work. I don’t want to ruin my kid’s grades. I’m not normally one for lying but I see no harm in taking kids out of school if they are not struggling and haven’t missed an excessive amount of school that year. Until high school AP classes, a huge amount of my kids’ time was wasted in school. As others have said, the state doesn’t own them. They are not prisoners. What I say is that my child was not feeling well. Legally they can’t ask for more details. I feel that my kids suffer from stress and burnout and need some mental health days just like adults. That’s what I tell my kids. I’m not teaching them to lie because I do feel that mental health is important and vacations are a way to recharge and my kids are stressed.

 

[slo]

We took our girls out of school every year until my oldest was in 8th grade. The only reason why we stopped, is because the makeup work for her was to much and she felt overwhelmed when we returned home.

I always told the school the truth and asked her teacher(s) if they could give my girls some school work to do while we were gone. We ALWAYS got a threatening letter and I just ignored it.

IMO....family time is very important and if that family time happens during the school year, than it is what it is.

 

[pineapplepalms]

No public school is going to do anything with them.

It depends on the school. Our public school has a very long waiting list, and they actively disenroll kids who exceed the number of allowed days. They will move them to another school in the district. Since our school is generally the one in the district people are trying to go to, it’s a pretty big incentive to not have your kids miss too many days. We missed one day for vacation this year and don’t plan on missing any more. We’re taking plenty of trips, but they’re planned for school breaks.

 

[brockash]

It depends on the school. Our public school has a very long waiting list, and they actively disenroll kids who exceed the number of allowed days. They will move them to another school in the district. Since our school is generally the one in the district people are trying to go to, it’s a pretty big incentive to not have your kids miss too many days. We missed one day for vacation this year and don’t plan on missing any more. We’re taking plenty of trips, but they’re planned for school breaks.

I'm really curious...do you mind sharing what public school your child attends? I can only assume your region has some policy in place that allows parents to "choose" their school even if not in boundary? - Like a charter, but with a public school. Curious as to what they do with a student who is districted for their school - how a public school would get around the red tape and be allowed to push them out...also curious as to how the receiving school wouldn't balk at this. We've lived in many different states, however have never heard of a public school being allowed to refuse a student who is districted for their building - not based on pattern of severe/extreme behavior issues resulting in expulsion. Wondering how the funding is covered in these situations when talking about a public school.