For those who remember Tinkerbell and eeyor update

[TheIncredibles!]

But he was okay in cheating? I think that's worse.

But one is illegal and the other is not.

 

[CdnCarrie]

But one is illegal and the other is not.

Guess it depends where. My lawyer told me to change the locks on my ex and I did so.

 

[Marrila]

Guess it depends where. My lawyer told me to change the locks on my ex and I did so.

It's possible many laws are different in Canada.
Still, it sounds like you contacted a lawyer for legal advice on how to proceed within the law.

 

[CdnCarrie]

It's possible many laws are different in Canada.
Still, it sounds like you contacted a lawyer for legal advice on how to proceed within the law.

Honestly many of these responses seemed like they supported a cheating spouse and she was supposed to just accept it,

We don't know all the details of the situation. Just seemed to me posters were piling on the OP who was going through a difficult time.

 

[Wendy1985]

legitimate question for those who think my family and I are in the wrong

How many of you would continue to provide for your daughters or sons ex and or help him/her


My mom is not only calling around for temporary housing she is actively searching for a safe apparent for him to live in as well

Also paying for any necessities that he needs I don’t know anyone that would do that

 

[Starport Seven-Five]

Honestly many of these responses seemed like they supported a cheating spouse and she was supposed to just accept it,

We don't know all the details of the situation. Just seemed to me posters were piling on the OP who was going through a difficult time.

Most of the responses seemed to be more about protecting OP from making a potentially illegal move in a time where judgement could be clouded by hurt/rage/etc.

 

[Wendy1985]

Most of the responses seemed to be more about protecting OP from making a potentially illegal move in a time where judgement could be clouded by hurt/rage/etc.

Thanks for your concern on top of everything else my mom spoke to a lawyer and we are in the clear

Do I believe we are morally in the clear no but neither is cheating and verbal abuse not only towards me but to my family is not morally acceptable

Before anyone says it two wrongs don’t make a right and I know that

 

[DisneyHardin]

Honestly many of these responses seemed like they supported a cheating spouse and she was supposed to just accept it,

I don't think anyone was supporting the cheating spouse - I think most were just saying that she needed to tell him that the marriage was over and she wanted to split up, not just sneak his things out of the house and into a hotel while he wasn't home.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Most of the responses seemed to be more about protecting OP from making a potentially illegal move in a time where judgement could be clouded by hurt/rage/etc.

It sounds like there was some abuse. I would think the priority would to keep the abused wife safe.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

But he was okay in cheating? I think that's worse.

Let us not pretend this man was out bed swerving when the OP didn't even accuse him of it. The original post accused him of not cheating physically but emotionally. That is at best an ill defined and ill conceived concept. At it's worst, and often it is at its worst, it's a toxic attempt at emotional manipulation and control on the part of the one making the allegation. He's not here to defend himself. And I can't observe his behavior. But I can observe the posts of his accuser. I was initially sympathetic, but given the the constant and convenient additions and changes to the story, and given the refusal to even entertain, let alone listen to those trying to help her out, I'm no longer convinced he necessarily did anything wrong at all.

 

[Wendy1985]

It sounds like there was some abuse. I would think the priority would to keep the abused wife safe.

There was my mom was thrown off thinking if you are willing to talk to my daughter like that in front of me I don’t want to know how you speak to her when I am not around

 

[TheIncredibles!]

It sounds like there was some abuse. I would think the priority would to keep the abused wife safe.

Then you call the police and THEY handle it. If there's no grounds for a call to the police then you have to evict properly.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Honestly many of these responses seemed like they supported a cheating spouse and she was supposed to just accept it,

We don't know all the details of the situation. Just seemed to me posters were piling on the OP who was going through a difficult time.

Completely opposite of what I was seeing. If you look back at the first parts of the thread you'll see high support for the OP.

The switch came when the OP mentioned collecting the belongings and throwing the person out. Whether that's morally wrong or not I can understand discussions on that but largely the conversation shifted into ensuring the OP was not doing something against the law according to her area and thus suggested getting legal council involved.

There's a lot of complexity involved here from the legal standing of their relationship to legal protections afforded to the ex by means of establishing a residence.

There is another layer in such that the OP has a disability that adds to it all and IMO would further the strength in the "please get legal advice" comments from posters.

You could just switch it around and say you don't really care whether the OP could get in criminal trouble or at the very least financial trouble by doing what they are doing without knowing they are 100% in the right legally speaking. I think everyone generally is caring about making sure the OP is doing right in this awful time just different components being discussed.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Then you call the police and THEY handle it. If there's no grounds for a call to the police then you have to evict properly.

Correct, there's a difference in arresting someone because they have physically abused someone (not sure how this got added into this thread as I don't recall there being physical abuse mentioned before) thereby removing the present threat at that moment and then doing things like a restraining order and just up and moving someone's stuff without their knowledge to a different place also without their knowledge. The latter is of high concern to people here on this thread because it stands a high chance of not being legal.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Honestly many of these responses seemed like they supported a cheating spouse and she was supposed to just accept it,

We don't know all the details of the situation. Just seemed to me posters were piling on the OP who was going through a difficult time.

We have some very strict housing and eviction laws, especially after Covid. It's good... and bad.. LOL You simply cannot just decide that somebody can't come home anymore and that they now live anywhere but there. If there's abuse you call the police, you get a TRO and they are swiftly and legally removed from the home. And believe me, it's sadly VERY easy for women to get a TRO in a matter of hours. If there are no grounds for a restraining order, you have to end things a different way.

It's not about whether he "deserves" to be kicked out or not. Tink has decided their relationship is over so it just is over, doesn't matter why or what he did etc. She could decide she hates looking at him and it's over but there's still HOW they get to the final goodbye and parting, that is going to take some time because they do have intertwined lives and there are laws and rights that they both have.

 

[handinpocket]

But he was okay in cheating? I think that's worse.

I don't think a developmentally delayed guy talking to a co worker is cheating......

 

[CdnCarrie]

I don't think a developmentally delayed guy talking to a co worker is cheating......

Not our relationship. We dont know what happened.

 

[kyton]

Three sides to every story - at this stage it is solely Wendy’s side we have been told and it is murky at best. The young man may or may not have done anything wrong - over the last few years Wendy has posted about the changes to her life that she has made which is great for her. Her (ex) partner has not wanted to change along with her from those previous posts which is his prerogative but this has upset Wendy in the past.

Every parent wants to protect their child but sometimes our children can also exaggerate or blow small circumstances into larger ones. This man deserves to be treated with respect when it comes to his living arrangements, whether he has “sinned” or not.

 

[disneychrista]

@Wendy1985 it is best that you temporarily move out of your shared living space and back into your mom's. Have you and your husband discussed the separation? Does he know you are temporarily moving out? Does he know you want him to move out? Does he know that you are working on having his mom help him in doing so?

 

[Wendy1985]

@Wendy1985 it is best that you temporarily move out of your shared living space and back into your mom's. Have you and your husband discussed the separation? Does he know you are temporarily moving out? Does he know you want him to move out? Does he know that you are working on having his mom help him in doing so?

No but I feel like it is very simple maybe we are different then most couples we don’t have shared belongings
And things like a tv I believe either he is getting the living room one

Dining room table we are getting him one


Our bed can go from a king to a single because two different farm and mattress