Flying Anexities

[derekleigh]

i know a lot of people on this forum do a fair amount of flying. In the past I haven't had issues with flying as I've been flying with both my wife and boys. However my wife and I are flying to Vegas to celebrate our 10 year anniversary! I'm very excited except we'll be flying sans kids.

I'm not sure really how to deal with it. I'm not afraid of flying per se, however I am nervous about flying without them. Anyone have suggestions or helpful tips for me on this subject?

 

[ronandannette]

i know a lot of people on this forum do a fair amount of flying. In the past I haven't had issues with flying as I've been flying with both my wife and boys. However my wife and I are flying to Vegas to celebrate our 10 year anniversary! I'm very excited except we'll be flying sans kids.

I'm not sure really how to deal with it. I'm not afraid of flying per se, however I am nervous about flying without them. Anyone have suggestions or helpful tips for me on this subject?

What exactly about this has you concerned?

 

[derekleigh]

What exactly about this has you concerned?

To put it bluntly, dying inflight.

 

[dotfurio]

xanex

 

[ronandannette]

To put it bluntly, dying inflight.

xanex

I'd have to agree with dotfurio. Your fear is a fairly irrational one, especially if the idea of dying inflight with your children apparently doesn't freak you out. Not trying to be sarcastic, but I'm just not sure how anyone could soothe you - you probably already know the odds of this happening are statistically miniscule. I hope you can find some way to come to peace with it and enjoy your vacation.

 

[Jennasis]

Being told your anxiety is irrational isn't helpful (all of us who suffer from anxiety know our anxieties are irrational).

I'm guessing your worry about dying in flight is more about leaving your children without parents. An understandable worry in general, even though as we all know the statistical likelihood of dying in a plane crash are so miniscule. There isn't much anyone can TELL you that will help you get over the anxiety. But there are things you can do.

1. Xanax. Talk to your doctor about writing you a script for a few pills, enough to get through the flights. Be sure to ask for one or two pills for you to take as a trial before the trip so you know how the pills will affect you. Some people feel sleepy when they take them (particularly at the higher dose).

2. Be prepared with things to keep you occupied on the flight. Books, music games etc.

3. I tend to keep an eye on the flight crew. If THEY look unconcerned, then I try to be unconcerned, especially in turbulence.

4. Book the seat that will make you most comfortable. I like to sit on the aisle, as close to an exit as possible. I don't like to feel trapped.

 

[mj70148]

i agree with the above, and also i want you to realize that those of us with anxieties related to an upcoming event, the lead-up time to the event (flying) is far worse than going thru the actual event itself. I've proven that to be true so many times in my life. you'll be fine, and you'll probably be wanting to take more trips without kids in the future

 

[mom2rtk]

Try reminding yourself that it's safer than driving.

 

[Bluestars]

I would suggest distracting yourself on the flight with something like an audio book or a movie. The audio books really make the time pass by quickly. I like the murder mystery ones. Before I know it, my flight is over. A movie is the same way. Just put your headphones on and watch it. I find that whenever I am anxious about something, I try to get absorbed in something else and it helps.

Also, visualization might help. Think of yourself getting on the plane, flying without a care in the world, and landing at your destination. Go over it again and again.

 

[Maistre Gracey]

Get liquored up before, and during flight.

Enjoy.

MG

 

[georgina]

derekleigh, I understand your anxiety. I have had similar feelings, and my kids are all 21+. It IS different when you are flying without children; there is a different feeling between everyone being in a plane crash together and flying alone and leaving your children without parents. I can push the anxiety to the side and just do it; I worry a bit on takeoff and landing, but the actual flights are fine.

I agree that the lead-up is worse than the actual event. I know a family where the parents take different flights for this reason, but I have not resorted to that!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I drink.

 

[jevs]

i know a lot of people on this forum do a fair amount of flying. In the past I haven't had issues with flying as I've been flying with both my wife and boys. However my wife and I are flying to Vegas to celebrate our 10 year anniversary! I'm very excited except we'll be flying sans kids.

I'm not sure really how to deal with it. I'm not afraid of flying per se, however I am nervous about flying without them. Anyone have suggestions or helpful tips for me on this subject?

Have a great time!

I get anxious when my kids are flying without me, I just keep busy and try not to think about it.

Go to your GP and grab some meds for the flight, then put music on and snooze.

 

[WorldWacky]

I understand your apprehension with this one. We recently flew out of state for a wedding without our three kids and I felt exactly how you do. As previous posters mentioned, the lead-up time was definitely worse for me. I can tell you that once on the plane, I felt much better. It was a very routine flight and I wasn't anxious for the flight home. I did keep reminding myself that there was less likelihood of something happening than on the road. Enjoy your alone time with your wife. Believe me, now that we're back with the craziness, I wish our trip alone had been longer.

 

[derekleigh]

I'd have to agree with dotfurio. Your fear is a fairly irrational one, especially if the idea of dying inflight with your children apparently doesn't freak you out. Not trying to be sarcastic, but I'm just not sure how anyone could soothe you - you probably already know the odds of this happening are statistically miniscule. I hope you can find some way to come to peace with it and enjoy your vacation.
View attachment 203999

I shouldn't have said dying while flying with my children doesn't make me nervous because it does. Flying without them and possibly dying and leaving them parentless frightens me to no end, even thought we have set up how that scenario is to be played out in the event the wife and I pass.

Being told your anxiety is irrational isn't helpful (all of us who suffer from anxiety know our anxieties are irrational).

I'm guessing your worry about dying in flight is more about leaving your children without parents. An understandable worry in general, even though as we all know the statistical likelihood of dying in a plane crash are so miniscule. There isn't much anyone can TELL you that will help you get over the anxiety. But there are things you can do.

1. Xanax. Talk to your doctor about writing you a script for a few pills, enough to get through the flights. Be sure to ask for one or two pills for you to take as a trial before the trip so you know how the pills will affect you. Some people feel sleepy when they take them (particularly at the higher dose).

2. Be prepared with things to keep you occupied on the flight. Books, music games etc.

3. I tend to keep an eye on the flight crew. If THEY look unconcerned, then I try to be unconcerned, especially in turbulence.

4. Book the seat that will make you most comfortable. I like to sit on the aisle, as close to an exit as possible. I don't like to feel trapped.

You hit the nail on the head with the bolder part above. I don't take any kind of medicine or pills aside from multivitamins. I do however plan to bring plenty of stuff to do while on the plane.

I drink.

Me too!

I understand your apprehension with this one. We recently flew out of state for a wedding without our three kids and I felt exactly how you do. As previous posters mentioned, the lead-up time was definitely worse for me. I can tell you that once on the plane, I felt much better. It was a very routine flight and I wasn't anxious for the flight home. I did keep reminding myself that there was less likelihood of something happening than on the road. Enjoy your alone time with your wife. Believe me, now that we're back with the craziness, I wish our trip alone had been longer.

The lead-up time for any flying is always stressful for me also. About two weeks prior, I start to become all worked up. Then the day of, I'm calm as my usual self!

 

[mya1k9]

My husband and I just got back from Vegas and I could've wrote your post word for word. I told him next time we were booking separate flights. I have to agree with the above posters, once we were in the air I felt better and I was fine on the flight home. I hope you have a great vacation, and if you need to, get some medication to take the edge off.

 

[low-key]

Get liquored up before, and during flight.

Enjoy.

MG

correct, I get 3 5 hour energy drinks, empty out, fill with Jim Beam, people are thinking you need energy and when you land got a big grin on your face

 

[dotfurio]

I feel the same way, OP - It's why I never travel out of town without the kids (well, I did once, but it wasn't far). Logically I know anything can happen any time - DH and I could die on our way to the grocery store when we leave the kids at home. But something about being far away from them makes me anxious.

I also have anxiety about flying. It's a combination of mostly fear of heights,some lack of control, and a little claustrophobia. In a car I'm on the ground and in control. On a train I'm on the ground. Yes, I know air travel is safer than cars or trains. No, that doesn't help my anxiety.

We flew to Canada a couple years ago for a cruise. A friend recommended I get some Xanax because I was so anxious. I'm the girl who cried on Tower of Terror, and I didn't want to embarrass myself on an airline like that. I also didn't want to be incapacitated by alcohol (I have no problems drinking, but that would make me feel even more out of control and might have made it worse).

My doctor prescribed me 10 Xanax. More than enough. I tried one out a week before the flight to see how it would affect me. I took one about half an hour before boarding. It took the edge off my anxiety without making me woozy. It really did help, and I plan to get another prescription when we fly to DC next summer.

 

[ols386]

xanex

Or Dramamine, it makes me sleepy.

 

[Sabeking]

I used to be really bad about flying!!! Listening to music helped, a book series that I love, etc... I have eight flights between now and July, some without my kids. Prayer helped me get past my irrational thoughts! On a side note, I have been to Vegas several times and the landing can be bumpy. I understand it is due to the heat. After someone told me this, I felt very comfortable being prepared for that and knowing it was normal. Good luck to you, you will be totally fine!! Enjoy your time together!!