Feeling discriminated against... :(

[My Grandpa]

I am new member of disboards and I am huge Disney World fan and I mainly go for the characters like Goofy, Donald, Mickey Ect. but I recently just came back from a week vacation at Disney World, I am a sliver passholder, and I felt like I was being judged everywhere I went from seeing Pluto at Hollywood Studios to seeing Goofy and even getting on the rides was horrible because it was like no one wanted to sit next to me. Just because a tall black guy wants to get his picture taken with Goofy doesn't mean I am a freak. I always travel solo and I love it but sometimes I hate it because I have to say only 1 when I meet a character or get on a ride and always get strange looks. I'm there like everyone else there, to have a good time and not worry about reality for a few hours. I was dancing with Pluto at Hollywood Studios to the kiddy tune that was playing and cast members were talking among themselves looking at me and strange looks come again. Some cast members were wonderful and even remembered my name but the rest I wanted to tell off and sometimes my character interactions were short and rushed. I go there because I feel happy and the hugs and it's very comforting. I don't care about the other families wanting a turn because I'm not there for them, I'm there for me. I'm just sick of it and making regret ever buying this pass because if i can't be myself there...I'll just go else where, where I feel accepted and not left out.

Dude TripleB909 .... Great thread you started based on wicked poor experiences. I'm going solo for the very first time at the end of June for my 68th birthday. I can't wait to be somebody's old-fart-grandpa hugging-it-out with Goofy. What can anyone say: people are people and everyone has their own perspectives (prejudices?) on how the world should act. Yours is a GREAT cautionary tale (tail?) I'm gonna work on my positive vibe to disarm CMs and guests ~ letting everyone know that in this World, going solo is awesome! Thanks for Sharing.

 

[janicept]

You don't get that as much at Universal since it's an older crowd. I remember a few years ago I was in line to get Christmas pics w/ Goofy and Pluto at AK and the kid that had been in line behind me for 45 minutes ran past me when the family in front of me was done. I guess he assumed I was with them. The cast member apologized but it was ok since I was only doing it because I had ridden everything a million times.

Another time was when I got pics w/ Anna and Elsa at MK since it was so hard to get FPs for. Anna asked me something about if I liked the movies and I answered honestly that I had never seen it but just wanted my pic since it was so hard to get.

I go (mainly to Universal) alone at least two weeks a year. If you're truly there for yourself just do what you want. If some cast members are treating you poorly just avoid them or move on to something else. It's not right but you're not going to change what people talk about. As I have said many times on this site: be confident, smile, and be friendly and that will get you far. If you look uncomfortable people pick up on that and it makes them nervous.

 

[Westcoastwild]

I'll be going on my 6th solo trip this May, and I have experienced some things that made me feel bad. However, I agree that it's up to you to be strong and like that Eleanor Roosevelt quote says that Euby posted above, ""No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I am going to remember that.

So yeah, I did have one trip in particular where I let it get to me all the times I got asked "How many?" and I got anxiety about saying "1". And it wasn't really anyone else's fault but mine.

The only thing I really, really don't like that cast members do, which is rude, though it may not be their intent, is when I go to restaurants, and it's usually signature ones that this happens at, they really, REALLY, try to push sitting at the bar to me. Like, do you really think I would have went to the trouble of making a dining reservation if I was the kind of bloke that wanted to just grab chow at the bar? To me, when they ask me if I want to sit at the bar, even they they wrap it up in the bow of "Oh, we thought you might enjoy the social experience of dining with other patrons and talking to the bartender!", to me, what I see is "Gee, we really rather not waste a whole table on a single diner, plus his meal and our tip is likely to be much less, so let's see if we can shuffle him off to the bar and make some more $$$". I mean, honestly, am I wrong here? Is it just my cynicism talking here? So, yeah, though I am used to it, and always ready with my response of "Oh, no I prefer a table, thank you.", it still irks me. And I'm sure all the hosts have been told to say that to solo diners, I know, but again, I'm convinced the reason is monetary and not to increase my dining pleasure.

One time, I had the embarrassment, at Jiko, after telling the host I wanted a table after she pushed the bar or the cooking place by the fire on me, she gave me to the waiter, who promptly escorted me right to the cooking place by the fire and I hated to have to tell him but I really didn't want to sit there and she had just asked me! So, I had to tell him, and I made a point of telling him how I just told the hostess I wanted a TABLE after she had just asked me, and I gave quite the look to show I was annoyed and I never do that, but I really was annoyed LOL. Anyway, I felt bad for the waiter, because he was very friendly and the hostess had made a big thing of introducing him to me, and once they moved me to a table, I ended up with a different waiter.

Anyway, one of my favorite things about Disney is the Dining experiences and I love sitting at a table - I don't want to socialize with people at the bar or other interactive areas at restaurants LOL. That's not for me. Plus, those bar stools are really uncomfortable and for me, that kind of meal doesn't feel like a real meal and is rushed. I like long meals, where I can take my time, and relax comfortably. I don't want a noisy and uncomfortable bar-stool that I can't wait to get off of. Bars are for drinking or maybe munching on a snack. Not for long meals, as far as I'm concerned. And while I understand some people might consider it an exclusive and cool thing to sit by the fire at Jiko and watch them prepare your meal, again, I have no interest in that, and get hot easily, so I really don't wanna be right on top of a fire! LOL I guess I'm kind of high maintenance.

And incidentally, even though I'm a solo diner, I can assure you they get a high priced meal out of me, with multiple apps, cocktails or wine and dessert. To be honest, most of my solo dinners likely out-cost most families of 4, which is why it's so ironic they wanna push me off to the bar for a quickie meal that would be far less lucrative for them.

Anyway, that's my main pet peeve about being a solo vacationer, the dining. But I am used to it now. And I get my table no matter what!

Just wanted to say it's not just you! I usually hate sitting at the bar. I found Disney pretty good about that, though, actually. There are some restaurants that get really shirty about it, and in that case, I ask nicely for a better spot. If that doesn't happen, I walk out. And that part is really rare. Servers don't like to lose tables- it's almost always the hostess with the problem which is just so weird

Also had to lol at the thing about your bill. So true. Can't tell me that my bill will be less than the party with the two toddlers and their chicken nugget meals lol. Drinks are where restaurants get you!

OP, I really don't think it's YOU! If you want really awkward conversations, next time camp solo at Fort Wilderness, without a car. That really puzzled folks. But even then, it's also a conversation starter.

It could also be that you're just suffering from what I call happy family syndrome. You think everyone is having a better time than you because they are with their loved ones. I have a great cure for that disease-
Plan a Disney trip with no less than 3 generations. Include one hotel snob and one cheapskate. And your sister in law or aunt who is hated by everyone. At least one kid who gets violently motion sick and one kid who wants to ride everything. Your father or grandfather, who hates crowds. That weird cousin who thinks Disney is a foul corporation that brainwashes children to serve the devil. Your mother who just wants to spend the whooole time in fantasyland. Then try to do everything together- lodging, meals, fast passes, bathroom breaks.

Guaranteed cure. You will never want to do Disney with other people again

 

[RADOPT]

Plan a Disney trip with no less than 3 generations. Include one hotel snob and one cheapskate. And your sister in law or aunt who is hated by everyone. At least one kid who gets violently motion sick and one kid who wants to ride everything. Your father or grandfather, who hates crowds. That weird cousin who thinks Disney is a foul corporation that brainwashes children to serve the devil. Your mother who just wants to spend the whooole time in fantasyland. Then try to do everything together- lodging, meals, fast passes, bathroom breaks

Sorry to laugh Westcoastwild as you probable experienced this but... - it sounds like my family!

 

[RADOPT]

I am a sliver passholder, and I felt like I was being judged everywhere I went from seeing Pluto at Hollywood Studios to seeing Goofy and even getting on the rides was horrible because it was like no one wanted to sit next to me

Sorry your trip wasn't better. It sucks when you feel subbed. Sitting on a ride was probable more the CM doing then anything else. When I travel as a partly of 3, I usually have my mom and daughter ride together which leaves me by myself. I seldom have anyone in the seat next to me. While you may feel discriminated against, it is probable more that they deal with less solos on those activities and they don't know how to handle it correctly or it could be their previous experience. Others looking at you - you can't read people's minds so it is your perception. There are probable fewer people like you that travel solo who are confidiant enough and comfortable in their own skin to to be dancing Pluto. I know I am not and I would be watching you wishing I had had kind of confidance.
While I do things solo a lot, I say all of this with the experience of a mom with 2 special needs children. I have years of experiences and have developed a tough skin. Yes, everytime we go out I can feel discriminated against, think people are subbing us, being rude pointed at or talked about - I choose not to. I know these all happen but I choose not to let other dictate my activies, how my day goes or my attitude. I figure it is either my insecurity, they don't know how to act with us or - my favorite - they are just idiots and I never have to see them again. My suggustion - focus on your activity and let those know what you want - don't let others affect you.
I hope you go again and have a trip.

 

[Westcoastwild]

Sorry to laugh Westcoastwild as you probable experienced this but... - it sounds like my family!

Lol! Well...I have family like that, but I quietly vacation by myself for that reason. My mother is the kind of person who would plan a trip like that- she's big on family togetherness. Before college it would have bothered me to travel solo, because I assumed other families were more...normal, shall we say. But no. The people who do those multigenerational trips are crazy and a lot more miserable then solo travelers like me. (Although admittedly, the only reason I get out of taking them along, is that they know I stay in cheap hotels or camp, and spend a disproportionate amount of time in museums or outside. My entire family is the hotel snob. I've stayed at luxury hotels, and I appreciate them, but I'd rather go somewhere for 2 weeks than 4 days).

 

[MelanieRI]

I totally feel discriminated against at restaurants at WDW. I've been going alone with my DD since she was 4 to Disney (she's 18 now) and we've always had a hard time at the restaurants. I feel like since we're only a party of two, they could care less about us b/c their tip won't be as big as with a larger party. Most of the time, it's something small like never getting a drink refill but this past year at Tony's I didn't even get silverware! Sure, I'll eat this big bowl of hot pasta with my fingers???!!! Forget trying to flag someone down. No one will even look at you. Eventually the waitress came back to ask how it was and would we like dessert. Um, yeah, I don't have silverware. How about we start there first. We tell those stories with laughter now, but while it's happening and you're exhausted from the park, not so funny.

However, the plus of being a party 1 or 2, is that we do get the jump the line a lot at things like Space Mountain, Soarin' as they are looking to fill slots.

 

[Chuckers]

I am a 51 y.o. fat gay guy.. I have always been single. I would say about 80-90% of my vacations are solo trips. I have been doing Disney solo for over 10 years. I am SURE that I have gotten strange looks when I do some things - especially character pictures. But you know what, I don't pay attention to other people because it's my vacation and I am going to have fun. They're not living my life or sharing my home, so who cares what others think. I normally don't get paired with another rider when I solo rides, unless it's a low capacity/long line ride.
When someone remarks, usually with some surprise, that I am traveling Disney alone, I always reply "Yup! It's the best way to do Disney.. I can do what I want, when I want." Many times I can see the look of 'I wish I could do that' on their faces.
At restaurants, I can't remember being coerced to sit at the bar, but I know, if they ask, it's because they have to worry about seating. I rarely sit at the bar and I can only remember sharing a dinner table twice. Both instances were because the table were meant to be shared (seating 10 or more).

Don't let it bother you, just enjoy yourself and always have a smile!

 

[bryanb]

I am new member of disboards and I am huge Disney World fan and I mainly go for the characters like Goofy, Donald, Mickey Ect. but I recently just came back from a week vacation at Disney World, I am a sliver passholder, and I felt like I was being judged everywhere I went from seeing Pluto at Hollywood Studios to seeing Goofy and even getting on the rides was horrible because it was like no one wanted to sit next to me. Just because a tall black guy wants to get his picture taken with Goofy doesn't mean I am a freak. I always travel solo and I love it but sometimes I hate it because I have to say only 1 when I meet a character or get on a ride and always get strange looks. I'm there like everyone else there, to have a good time and not worry about reality for a few hours. I was dancing with Pluto at Hollywood Studios to the kiddy tune that was playing and cast members were talking among themselves looking at me and strange looks come again. Some cast members were wonderful and even remembered my name but the rest I wanted to tell off and sometimes my character interactions were short and rushed. I go there because I feel happy and the hugs and it's very comforting. I don't care about the other families wanting a turn because I'm not there for them, I'm there for me. I'm just sick of it and making regret ever buying this pass because if i can't be myself there...I'll just go else where, where I feel accepted and not left out.

I think it takes an unusual amount of confidence to dance with Pluto in front of a large group of people. Honestly, kudos to you. And if that uninhibited joy attracts attention, I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. I don't know if your height or your skin color makes you stand out more than anything else. And it's okay for you to just be apologetically you. Yes, some people might not understand you... but those are the same people who conform to the crowd and blend into the background. I'll bet just as many people wish they could be free, outgoing, and uninhibited.

I hope you won't regret buying the pass. I'm assuming you haven't always had this kind of experience at WDW, which means this was hopefully an unusual situation. I can definitely see how one bad experience could make someone more self-conscious, and then that leads to being more sensitive to real (or even perceived) slights in other parts of the trip. Some years ago, I was a CM at Disneyland. I've spent a lot of time there solo, and I've also taken a few solo trips to WDW too. The number of solo travelers to each resort is higher than some might think (and there's even a whole board dedicated to it here on Disboards!). I've also seen the most exuberant of Disney fans at the parks. From a CM and longtime visitor standpoint, Disney fans come in all heights, skin colors, and personalities... and most CMs should appreciate that. Please give it another chance and let us know how it goes!

 

[georgina]

As a solo visitor I generally prefer not to be seated on a ride with a stranger - I will do the few single rider lines when they are available, and expect to get put with someone on 7DMT, but other than that it would be awkward to be seated with a stranger, on BTMRR you would be sliding into them, or Dumbo, teacups, Splash Mtn, Haunted Mansion, Peter Pan, Pooh, etc - give me my own space! Sometimes they do go overboard - like Pirates or Small World could fit more than one in a row, but that is the way they seat people.

 

[daae3]

I solo at Wdw and mostly have positive experiences or a positive attitude...but I think we all have those experiences that make you say umm...really? I was once waiting for my solo ressie at Coral Reef- a restaurant I hit every solo trip because I like the food and the love watching the tank...on this visit, I had to wait an hour for my table- which was unusual...and then it just happened that the parties I was sitting between got called and a family proceeded to sit in the areas around me- before I had a chance to move...and then complain loudly that I was interrupting their family time. Of course I decided in that moment I would sit in that spot til the restaurant closed...luckily they got called before me, but I got a tankside table.

 

[TripleB909]

Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright! I get your points I didn't expect so many replies to this discussion, wow. I know I was just letting my insecurities get to me which I should have never let happened and I will continue to go no matter what. I always enjoy my solo trip because family trips to Disney World is not my idea of fun and sometimes I think the parents are a little jealous of me because I have no one and it make things a whole lot easier and more fun. Just because you guys were so nice to me on my first time here and given me support I will go ahead and book a 2 day get away in May at the all-star music resort. I've stayed there so many times and I love it I wouldn't won't to stay at any other hotel. Thank you. More dancing with Pluto!

 

[kwdw]

Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright! I get your points I didn't expect so many replies to this discussion, wow. I know I was just letting my insecurities get to me which I should have never let happened and I will continue to go no matter what. I always enjoy my solo trip because family trips to Disney World is not my idea of fun and sometimes I think the parents are a little jealous of me because I have no one and it make things a whole lot easier and more fun. Just because you guys were so nice to me on my first time here and given me support I will go ahead and book a 2 day get away in May at the all-star music resort. I've stayed there so many times and I love it I wouldn't won't to stay at any other hotel. Thank you. More dancing with Pluto!

Good for you!!!!

Occasionally, I feel like I need to stand up for my rights as a solo at Disney. No - I'm not going to move after I waited in this spot for fireworks/parade, no, I'm not going to cut my character interactions short, no, I'm not going to take the absolute worst table in the restaurant if have an ADR, and no, I'm not going let your kid go down the waterslide in front of me unless they were in line in front of me (interestingly, its usually the other little kids that correct this issue with the offender - "hey - she's in line"). Oh, and yes, I will tell the manager if I get obviously horrible service at a TS meal because I'm a solo - though this has only happened once for me. Though - I do feel I get only so-so service more often as a solo than I do with a group.

Now - for rides - CM's seat parties together the best they can - so except for Mine Train and Test Track - they aren't going to fill in seats next to you - especially on things like boat rides and other continuous movers.

Enjoy that pass! Disney isn't perfect when it comes to making everyone feel equal - discrimination/microaggression happens there on a daily basis to a multitude of guests. But I think there is less of that at Disney than at many other places.

 

[Chuckers]

Now - for rides - CM's seat parties together the best they can - so except for Mine Train and Test Track - they aren't going to fill in seats next to you - especially on things like boat rides and other continuous movers.

.

Interesting note: When I was a daily Disneylander, I questioned why they removed the single rider line form Toy Story Mania (it really irked me.) I was told that many parents complained that their child was seated with a stranger on the ride. So, CM's tried hard to seat singles only with adults. But that didn't work. I guess parents don't mind their kids sitting with strangers on other rides tho.. like California Screamin'.... (maybe because it wasn't a dark ride where 'things could happen')

 

[Donna3271]

Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright, Alright! I get your points I didn't expect so many replies to this discussion, wow. I know I was just letting my insecurities get to me which I should have never let happened and I will continue to go no matter what. I always enjoy my solo trip because family trips to Disney World is not my idea of fun and sometimes I think the parents are a little jealous of me because I have no one and it make things a whole lot easier and more fun. Just because you guys were so nice to me on my first time here and given me support I will go ahead and book a 2 day get away in May at the all-star music resort. I've stayed there so many times and I love it I wouldn't won't to stay at any other hotel. Thank you. More dancing with Pluto!

Whoo hoo!!! Hugs to you!! I wish you the BEST TIME at All-Stars!!!

 

[TexasPete]

I really admire all of you solo travelers and hope to do it myself one day! I can guarantee you parents with little ones are probably jealous of you! Keep on dancing with Pluto!!!

 

[cigar95]

Having gone solo many times since '92, I've picked up some habits. One of which is that I never say "one", or even more so "just one". At restaurants it's typically something like "just me today". On attractions, I'll often gesture towards myself without saying anything, as if to say "you're looking at the group right here." Or I'll just hold up one finger. But always with a relaxed smile. Never as if I'm feeling self-conscious or guilty.
In simplest terms, I don't give anyone else the power to make me feel like I'm any less of a Disney guest than the prototypical family that appears on the trip-planning videos. If it seems like a restaurant host is trying to turn my table quickly, those hints get ignored. if an attraction host thinks I'm some sort of dork, not my problem.

Actually, probably my single favorite "solo traveler memory" was the time at Kali River when there was a full group of cheerleaders (not in uniform, but it was a cheerleader week) right in front of me who filled an entire raft - except for one seat. When the ride loader found out I was a single, his first reaction was to send me to that empty seat.
Now that would have been a little creepy on a lot of rides, but on a ride where a bunch of teenage girls are all about to get soaking wet while wearing who-knows-what under their outer garments, it would have been super creepy to put a forty-something guy who they've never met in with them when there weren't any other parties to interact with. So I didn't have to say a word - I just gave the guy a "that's NOT a great idea" look, again with a grin, and once he realized what was going on, i was the first one sent to the next raft. My wife thought it was hilarious - in no small part because of the dread she knew I had to have felt.

 

[bryanb]

Interesting note: When I was a daily Disneylander, I questioned why they removed the single rider line form Toy Story Mania (it really irked me.) I was told that many parents complained that their child was seated with a stranger on the ride. So, CM's tried hard to seat singles only with adults. But that didn't work. I guess parents don't mind their kids sitting with strangers on other rides tho.. like California Screamin'.... (maybe because it wasn't a dark ride where 'things could happen')

If i were to guess the difference, it's that Toy Story is more of a social experience than most rides. You're basically playing the game with the person next to you. Even if you never say a word to each other, the game makes it a shared interaction which adds at least a little more awkwardness.

 

[arminnie]

I've been to WDW many, many times in the past 25 years - mostly solo. I used to travel to Orlando (from San Francisco) on business multiple times a year. No way I was going to be in Orlando and not go to a park. Now my DH travels with me, but he doesn't go to the parks as often as I do so I'm still solo a lot.

My only observation is that I have never once had a character interact with me at a character meal. For a long time I thought it was only for children. I remember years and years ago when my niece (who was not with me) loved Pluto. I was at a character meal when Pluto was there and I would have loved to have gotten a picture to send to her.

It is kind of odd to be seated on one of the "boat" rides with room for multiple people in the row and to be the only one. But it doesn't really bother me.

 

[Sweettears]

I've been to WDW many, many times in the past 25 years - mostly solo. I used to travel to Orlando (from San Francisco) on business multiple times a year. No way I was going to be in Orlando and not go to a park. Now my DH travels with me, but he doesn't go to the parks as often as I do so I'm still solo a lot.

My only observation is that I have never once had a character interact with me at a character meal. For a long time I thought it was only for children. I remember years and years ago when my niece (who was not with me) loved Pluto. I was at a character meal when Pluto was there and I would have loved to have gotten a picture to send to her.

It is kind of odd to be seated on one of the "boat" rides with room for multiple people in the row and to be the only one. But it doesn't really bother me.

I have had several solo interactions with characters. Low key but interaction nonetheless. It's my opinion that they have been trained on how to respond to adult solo guests. On several occasions I went for the atmosphere and didn't want interactions. A simple waive generated one in return and they went on their way.