Do you have a child going off to college...for the first time?? *Updated 8/19/05*

[Dan Murphy]

***I first posted this post 4 years ago in 2001, still excellent, IMO****

As the summer days shorten and thoughts of school days abound, there are those amongst us who are sending their first, or maybe only child, off to college, for the first time. The year that Vince went off to college for the first time, '95, Chicago WGN radio morning talk-show hosts, Kathy O’Malley and Judy Markey, did one of their late summer shows about 'letting go', that always so tough time in our parent/child relationships when we realize they are growing up, for real.

When our children reach their late teens, early 20's, we all must start to 'let go'. Most of us have a hard time and it can be sad, but it is part of life.

The radio show, which has since become an annual 'event' on WGN, and is talked about for several weeks ahead of the actual show, allows folks to call in and relate some of their difficult times with 'letting go'. I recall the initial show helped me deal with that pending sense of my 'letting go'. I do recall the tears of those days,

(actually sort of have them now)(I wonder if I am writing this because Vince is over at the fire station tonight)

One of the highpoints of that first show is the following song by country singer, Suzy Bogguss. Ugh, is was tough listening that first year, back in '95, such strong lyrics. The short piece you heard on opening this post was an excerpt from this song, which is now the theme song for this particular show each year.

Here are several Real Player files from the year 2000 show (you need to play with Real Player). They collectively are about 30 minutes. If you listen to them, do your work area a favor, have a box of tissues close by. It is really worth listening to, IMO.<center>

http://archive.wgnradio.com:8080/ramgen/wgnam/shows/kathy_judy/audio/letgo1kj.rm 03.27)

http://archive.wgnradio.com:8080/ramgen/wgnam/shows/kathy_judy/audio/letgo2kj.rm
08.53) includes the Suzy Bogguss song, 'Letting Go')

http://archive.wgnradio.com:8080/ramgen/wgnam/shows/kathy_judy/audio/letgo3kj.rm 04.06)

http://archive.wgnradio.com:8080/ramgen/wgnam/shows/kathy_judy/audio/letgo4kj.rm 03.27)

http://archive.wgnradio.com:8080/ramgen/wgnam/shows/kathy_judy/audio/letgo5kj.rm 09.32)

http://archive.wgnradio.com:8080/ramgen/wgnam/shows/kathy_judy/audio/letgo6kj.rm 04.45)

www.wgnradio.com

http://wgnradio.com/listen/index.htm



Letting Go....
(Suzy Bogguss)

She'll take the painting in the hallway,
The one she did in jr. high
And that old lamp up in the attic,
She'll need some light to study by.

She's had 18 years to get ready for this day
She should be past the tears, she cries some anyway

Oh oh letting go
There's nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there's room enough to fly
And even though, she's spent her whole life waiting,
It's never easy letting go.

Mother sits down at the table
So many things she'd like to do
Spend more time out in the garden
Now she can get those books read too.

She's had 18 years to get ready for this day
She should be past the tears, she cries some anyway.

Oh oh letting go
There's nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there's room enough to fly
And even though, she's spent her whole life waiting,
It's never easy letting go.

Oh oh letting go
There's nothing in the way now,
Oh letting go, there's room enough to fly
And even though, she's spent her whole life waiting,
It's never easy letting go.
</center>

And from the WGN website this year........

Get your tissues ready: the annual Letting Go show, when we share a good cry and send your kids off to school, will take place Friday, August 20, at 10 AM CDT!

You can listen in anywhere in the world with RealPlayer.

 

[KimRaye]

GEEZ, Dan, I know this isn't my situation yet, but, Thanks for the warning about the tissue! I also got a lot of laughs, too!

DS is entering 8th grade in Aug., the end of his 1st beginning and, DD is entering Pre-K-3, her new beginning. Man, I'm crying! It might not be college yet but boy, it goes fast!

WHERE do you Get this stuff?! Amazing really. I know K&J but, only listen to AM720 for the Cubs games usually.

(I feel sorry for all the applicable DISers that will read/listen to this at Work Wed. AM!)

Trust Me! Tissue box at hand!!

Thanks, Dan!

 

[wdw4us]

One of the hardest things I had to do was let my son go to college. He was fine and it really helped him grow up. He's in Pittsburg PA and I'm in NH. After 5 weeks at school he had to have emergency surgery. He managed that too and is doing fine. The hardest part of him leaving was knowing (because he told me) that he would never come back home to live. There were no jobs in his field in NH - special effects for movies.

Like all of us he's had his ups and downs in school and has had to manage without the help of mom. The internet has kept us in touch easier and cheaper than the phone.

My advice, get and us AOL instant message. We do not use AOL as our primary internet provider but we do have IM.

I think he chose this field because of his love for Disney and when he was at a real low point last spring with school, a quick weekend with the family at WDW, reminded him why he chose this field. Seeing Rick Baker (the makeup artist for the movies) with his family at a performance of Cirque was the final slap in the head. Didn't help either that he had just gotton done with a Backstage Magic tour.

We all have to grow up some time, but us parents have to too!

Good luck to all our young people about to leave for the first time and to the parents whose hearts will be breaking.

denise

 

[danacara]

The worst is when parents refuse to let go. My boyfriend here at Princeton is 20 and things with his mother have gotten so bad, he refuses to talk to her unless it's in counseling - she shows up at his dorm room door (2.5 hours away) screaming and crying every weekend - she threw a chair through the family TV when she found out that he had a girlfriend (me!) - she got my number from the operator and leaves me rambling voice mail every day about how she will "always be the most important woman in his life" and "I would do well to remember that" and "Am I happy that he's abandoned his family" and "She will make sure that her grandchildren (our kids, if we get married) will not learn slut lessons from me" ... the woman is TOTALLY PSYCHO. As Dan says, it may be hard to let go of your children, but MAKE SURE YOU DO IT!

 

[helenk]

My son goes off to college this year, he is going to Kutztown which is less than an hour away, but he will be involved in the marching band to start so I know he will meet new friends as well as some of his high school friends that will be there too. So I will not be tempted to have him come home on weekends right away.
This is my first experience of having a child leave the nest so I do get misty eyed now and then. I am just so proud of him and how hard he has worked this last year and half to get the grades to be able to go to college. (he is smart, but lazy).
He want to teach history and the new requirements in PA are that they have to keep a 3.0 average or not qualify for the certification.
I knew he was taking this all seriously when, after planning on going to the DIS convention in November he decided not to miss the 3 days of school.
It is very hard to let go, but you know that at some point you are not the center of their universe.

 

[CarolAnnC]

Thank you for sharing Dan. I will take a listen some time when I am feeling strong. As you know, Kristen will be leaving for school next month so this is very applicable for us. She was going to be a commuter but changed her mind in the early summer. I only want her to be happy. We have gone through so much this year losing Mike, that I did not want her to stay home because she felt a sense of obligation to me and Jen. Nevertheless it is going to be very hard. Jen is worried too because she will now have a lot of time where she is alone in the house while I am at work. So I am preparing for another round of change, and hoping that this coming school year will be a happy one for my girls. I am blessed to have such wonderful, kind, loving daughters, and I thank God every day that I do have them to love, nurture and cherish.

 

[Kitty 34]

Dan, I sent my son off two years ago to college. I was holding up real good, all summer until two weeks before he had to be at school. We started "cleaning" out his room and getting it ready to pack things up. I cried and cried!! And then cried some more!! That's the first time I got introduced to the Internet because Tommy showed me how to e-mail him. Boy! Did that help!!!

But now on the flipside.......he's 21 and home for the summer and even though I still love him dearly, he drives me nuts!! He's got his own grown up ideas and agenda!!! It kinda clashes with the rest of the household!!!!

 

[FairyGodfriend]

Thanks for the links Dan! Mine are a few years off yet, one is a junior and another is a sophmore in HS. But, living in a college town I get to see all the parents come and drop off their children (they'll always be children to us ). There are alot of teary eyes and lingering hugs. Sometimes, there's even a bit of bickering going on, ususally between the mothers and daughters. After a few weeks, things are fairly routine and by the time the first parent weekend rolls around everyone is in a very good mood. It's fun to watch the transformation and the role reversal as the kids show their parents around town...where the best place to eat is, to introduce their new friends. So, rest assured parents...if you DS/DD is attending Viginia Tech we have a vey caring community who looks out for them (even when they are not )

 

[bsnyder]

I still find it hard to believe that I'm almost at this stage in life now. The time has flown by. My oldest DS will be a senior, so this time next year, I'm sure I'll be tearing up at every little thing.

And one of my best friends just said goodbye to her "baby" last week, he's off to summer school first and then his freshman year. It seems like just yesterday she and I were newlyweds and then young moms together!

To all those moms going through this in the next few weeks, a big hug to you, and we're here if you need a shoulder!

 

[luvstiggertoo]

Oh, I can't even imagine what I will be like when this time comes for me. DD is in her last year of elementary. I think that will be hard. Heck, I had a hard enough time with her shaving!

I will echo Bet's sentiments and give all of you parents who are going through this a huge {{{{HUG}}}}

Stop on by if you just need to talk. You know we'll all be here.

 

[luvdsny]

I need not wait for college years....I took DD to her first day of school today....she's in 4th grade!!!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I was only one of two parents who personally brought their kids to class this morning. Where is everyone else? Just kiss them 'good-bye' and push them out the car door? I don't think so! I couldn't do it. I had to walk in with her, see where she's sitting, make my presence known to the teacher ( ), and take a few 'first day of school' pictures. Don't people do this anymore???

She was so excited for her first day of 4th grade! I'm happy for her....but I'm sad that she's already in 4th grade!!!

I think college will just do me in! LOL

 

[Mickeyfaniam]

Thanks Dan...that poem had me in tears. A few years back i sent my first to college and it was one of the hardest things i ever did. I cried non stop for a week and he was only an hour away.....then he came home for xmas break and i couldn't wait for him to go back

He was my first off.....I have 2 more and I can't even imagine sending off the last. I have 5 more years and i don't even want to think about it. When the 2 boys are fighting and driving me absolutely crazy I ALWAYS say to myself....5 more years and they'll be gone...then it doesn't seem to bother me so much!!

 

[nativetxn]

I'm past the part where he leaves home for college. Next step is when he relocates to another state for a real job. That will probably happen next summer when he's finished with graduate school.

I didn't have any trouble letting him go off to college, probably because he went to school in Texas about 200 miles from his grandparents and only about 45 miles from our house in Sabine County. We saw him more I think after he left home than when he was a junior and senior in high school

 

[JohnTBap]

Well, our daughter is only 6 (almost 7), but I have had to "Let Go" in a sense. She left tonight to travel with MIL to Oregon to visit family. I can't imagine what it will be like when she goes to college. Perhaps she'll go here in Houston. But, I can see how that might be worse!

*Big Sigh*

 

[Teacher510]

I have one more year "til DD goes to college, probably 3 hours away. I'm trying to make the most of the time. I even booked the Swan for next August already as a graduation present-just the 2 of us. She may not want to vacation with me once she starts going with friends.

 

[swatts1]

Thanks Dan. My daughter leaves for her first year at Vanderbilt in exactly one month. I cry every time I think about it, but all the while I'm so excited for her! It is nice to know that there are plenty of other parents who are experiencing the same feelings.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just bouncing this to the top as a reminder for those who would like to listen next Monday, the 20th. It IS a great show every year, but do have those few tissues I mentioned if you do.

 

[minniecarousel]

Good timing, Dan. We move our boys' furniture on Sunday. They are both going to school in a Northern Calif town about 2 1/2 hours from us. Although neither is starting their first year, they are both moving into apts for the first time. (not together) this means more responsibility. They'll both actually move up north later next week - classes start on August 27! I have mixed emotions - they're close enough to come home for a weekend, and all the major holidays, but it sure will be quiet around here without them!

 

[Patrick IL.]

Thanks Dan- Lets not get me going again Just had DS leave for his third year- next year DD, my baby, goes for he 1st year. The house will be pretty empty at that point.

 

[Jison]

Thanks Dan.

This is SO nice. My oldest is only a sophomore but..........man.............it will be here before I turn around.

Thanks so much.

The tears are flowing.