DH and I worked together and were both dating other people initially. But we talked a lot in the course of our work and found we had so much in common in terms of background, family, pets, work ethic, outlook on life, sense of humor, etc. It made for very easy conversation and things to do together, etc.
My German Shepherd at the time had this funny habit of putting his whole mouth on your leg and keeping it there, digging his teeth in in spurts (things I didn’t know back then that I wouldn’t allow today, lol). I told the dog to knock it off but now-DH said no, he didn’t mind at all, lol. Poor guy‘s pant leg was soaking wet from the dog sitting that way for a half an hour, and he took it in stride. My kind of guy!
His compassion was not just with animals, but with people, I learned, even though on the outside you might not expect it from him. But all the older ladies we worked with knew it as they always loved him, all the time. He’d tease them and they’d eat it up. And he’s never strayed from either of those qualities all these years. We’ve never disagreed on either pets or relationships. He was very good to my mother who lived with us for 25 years! And a really great husband to me and Dad to our kids - always there for them, every day, and still today.
When we were young I’d say politically we weren’t super far off from eachother, but we weren’t exactly on the same page, either. It wasn’t an issue for us, at all, though my views evolved independently over the years and are now more in line with his. But I do think that today, for most people, political views have taken on more meaning than they perhaps did in the past. Views can be so volatile now. I know a couple who is married with young kids and they are completely opposite and it’s a big problem, mental health wise. One of them has even threatened divorce over it
so it’s a constant source of stress in their relationship. So today it’s probably important to figure that out early on. I think vacation style is important, too.
@Lord Manhammer We never had passports early on, and still don’t. I met DH when I was in the first of seven years of college, and was working two jobs just to help make ends meet, etc. For the first ten years of our married life what vacations we had were spent renovating something in the house, one project at a time. We didn’t really have much money to go somewhere local, let alone internationally. We used our last $3K to pay for our wedding, and started savings from scratch again; interest rates were 11.5% when we bought our first house in a high COL area, and it took us putting another $10K down in order to refinance when interest rates dropped, so it seemed we were always behind the eight ball financially.
The first Disney vacation we took was 14 years into our marriage when our kids were 3yo. And the only reason we did that is because my mother encouraged us to go, showing us an ad in the newspaper for a Disney special, “Kids fly and play for free”. That trip cost us about $1500 and that was huge for us. We gave up things like buying coffee and brown bagged lunches for months in order to save for it. But the rest is history, as we decided to prioritize those family vacations, which we all really loved, and have never regretted. You’ll be glad to know that a European visit is on our bucket list. I don’t like flying, so it will be a big step for me when we decide to go (and with luck, my son will be flying the plane), but we will make it there someday
and will get passports then. Just to maybe give another perspective on that topic. Even when I think of retirement travel isn’t the high priority that it seems to be for some people, but to each their own!
