What I'm hearing from you is "MY kids can do both. Any other kid who is playing can't."
No, you have been trying to insinuate that. I am saying that I don't need my kid to be a superstar athlete. I'll settle for them just being a good person. Some kids can be both, pretty much all can be one. Being one doesn't preclude you from being the other, and vice versa. No drama to be had here, so no need to try to cause any!
I am curious... your kids were so good in sports, you didn't have to pay ANYTHING to have them play somewhere? They just played pickup games in the park and they were "discovered"?
First - no...not my kids, my KID. The other two are decent, but not likely to go on past high school. They just don't have the passion for their sport(s) the way DS18 did.
Costs: We paid $150/each year for the first 2 years of youth football, $75 the 3rd because DH had gotten laid off and we asked for financial help and got it in exchange for volunteering at every home game, nothing the 4th and 5th year because DH coached and in that league coaches kids were free (but it would have been about $200/year if I remember correctly), and $375 the last two until he was in high school because we moved and the area we moved to has a higher cost of living and everything is more expensive.
Cleats and mouthguard were about another $60-75/year.
High School football cost the pay-to-pay fee of $200/first sport of the year, $150/2nd, $100/3rd.
two week-long summer camps in Middle School at UM for $300/each time (that DH was also paid to coach at) just because he loved the game and wanted to go.
2 one-day camps/showcases before he got hurt that were $60/each.
Had he not gotten hurt, he probably would have done about 2 each year of HS at $60/each,
I'll let you do the math on the total costs for the decade, but in total, I don't think it amounts to as much as what some people pay for one year of a travel sport. And yes...his HS play spoke for itself because the last camp he attended was between freshman and sophomore year right before his first injury, and after he came back from that he didn't go to any. He still had recruiters coming to his school and calling him out of class and coming to watch his games and talking to him his senior year. I'm not saying they were all from Alabama or Michigan or anything; what I am saying is that by us doing virtually NOTHING, he was still being looked at by *someone*.
DS13 and DD14 both pay lacrosse for free because they are goalies. Around here, almost all leagues will waive the fees for goalies because they need kids to play! It's just rec...we don't do travel
But it was good enough to give DD a little experience and get some playing time on her HS team this year as a freshman. That's really all we cared about. She's not going to play in college and that's ok.
However, I do understand that football is different than soccer and very few soccer recruiters will come to high school games...from what I've heard, and I have many family members that played soccer, they will mostly only pay attention to the "elite" travel teams, which is one (but not the only, I get it) reason families are so driven to get their kids to that level AND pay for it. Personally I think that is crazy that parents are practically forced to do that just so their kid can have a shot at college play, and honestly I wouldn't pay for it. Apparently, a lot of people are willing to (you included). Spend your money how you want, and hopefully your kid is having fun doing it!
Where did I say that? For all I know, my child may play DIII or NAIA. MY point, is you (anyone aside from the family) don't know why they picked that school to attend. Is it not exciting to know your child was accepted to a college, REGARDLESS of the level? Would you feel better if parents told their kids "sure, you'll get to play the sport you love at the next level, but it's a bottom level school, so no big deal"?
Yes, very exciting to know a kid is accepted to a college! My big issue is not that you are proud (because you should be proud of ALL accomplishments your kids make!), or want to celebrate a milestone, etc, but that (some) people act like, on signing day, that getting a partial academic scholarship to play club lacrosse at Sienna Heights College is the same as getting a full-ride, all expenses covered DI scholarship to play football for Ohio State. To me, personally, it seems an awful lot like 8th grade graduation vs. high school graduation around here...and I don't care for that either. But judging from the amount of celebration some people put into it - cap and gown processions, ceremonies, parties, gifts, professional photo shoots, etc - not everyone feels like I do. I'm not looking to change anyone's mind or make it not happen, but I can absolutely feel the way I do, about it.
You seem very defensive and way more invested in this than me, and yes we did have that talk and my kid decided over a year ago that DIII/NAIA football was not something he wanted to destroy the rest of his body for (personal decision of HIS, not saying it's better or the right decision for every 18 year old out there), so I'll just agree to disagree and close this by saying - no matter what you decide to let your kid do, just enjoy every second of the ride. Your kid(s) seem younger than mine, so just enjoy whatever you decide to do with them. I miss seeing my boy out there on the field every time I'm at the school or pass a football/lacrosse field, but neither he or I will ever regret giving him the opportunity that he did have.