College Athletic Recruitment

[Boardwalk Jedi]

I guess we just have a difference of opinion and experience here, and that's ok. IME people who are unhappy on teams leave them. I think it would be unrealistic to think that everyone is going to have a great experience - of course not! But for those who stick around and love it, it can be a really great thing, and yes, a privilege. We know plenty of people who wanted to play in college, but for one reason or another, weren't able to, and for some of these people it's been devastating. (Yes, an actual word used by people we know very well.) When things work out just right, it can be a very special thing.

I know your boy has had an awesome experience. Much of that is because his mom is realistic and amazing. I've tried to be that mom too, but boy it could feel lonely during soccer and girls basketball. Having done gymnastics, I thought I saw all the drama possible. Never thought soccer would be more. LOL

 

[bcla]

I used to follow a specific sport where the elite athletes who would be recruited student-athletes almost always would be ahead in an age group completion. They'd be in the 18s group even though they might be 15 years old. There were some elite teams that only went with kids in their actual age bracket, but those were few and far between. Most elite clubs wanted their best players on their top 18 team regardless of age.

I do remember reading something about the best players in Canadian junior hockey where generally the players that got to advance to higher levels tended to be the oldest in their age groups. I don't think they allowed age shifting. It was really odd too as an inordinate proportion of NHL players tended to be born in certain months where they were able to be the oldest players.

As for recruiting, I remember following a certain HS team where I knew the head coach. That was about all I knew about it but I went to games because they were fun to watch. They had a couple of great teams that made it pretty far with players who were going to college programs as scholarship athletes or at least as recruited walk-ons. However, the year after that they had a far different mix of players. This was VB where none of the players was taller than 5'10", yet they managed to make it to the state championship where they faced a Southern California team with height and players recruited by top 10 college teams. Somehow they managed to win by a thin margin. I was really odd too as I read about their post-game interviews. One reporter asked if anyone on the team had any college offers, and the captain of the team flashed a big 0 with her thumb and index finger. I recall later that just one player on the team managed to land a scholarship at an NCAA D-II team. I heard the MVP of that game desperately wanted to come to Cal as a walk-on, but the coach apparently didn't believe she would have really been able to contribute. From what I heard about that team later, none of the players ended up playing at the NCAA/NAIA level except one. Maybe one or two other players played on college club teams.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

1) It's not just soccer coaches. I understand softball (guessing baseball as well) and other college sports coaches aren't going to HS games. What makes more sense to you... spend $x to go watch one (maybe two) kids play a single game at their HS, or use that same money to go to a showcase with dozens of teams all playing in one area over multiple days?


Why can't they be both? Why does one eliminate the other? Do I hope my child continues playing a sport he loves when he goes to college? Of course. Do I *HOPE* he gets some scholarship money? Absolutely. But IMO, it's no different than someone HOPING they win the lottery when they buy a ticket. There's a chance sometime over his HS career that he decides he's done playing. Will I look at the last decade+ that he spent playing soccer as a "waste"? No.

As far as the pomp and circumstance over signing day... who cares? If the parents want to take off work, how does it bother you. If the media is covering it, then it's either a slow news day, or those players were probably among the better ones in the area. Of course the school is going to post on social media, as will the college. That's just PR.

It really sounds like you have an axe to grind against the "travel" team players and parents. Are there some families that expect all this travel team stuff to be an "investment" for a future college scholarship? Yes. But not all of us are like that. My kids play travel because they enjoy the sport. Travel will generally put you with more dedicated teammates and against tougher competition... therefore making you better.

My son got selected out of a camp to play in a tournament in Spain a couple years ago. He got selected to the state team this year and they're going to Germany in a couple weeks. Yes, it was expensive. But I know my son enjoyed playing against teams from around the world... including FC Barcelona.

I get it... "travel" isn't for you, and that's fine. But don't denigrate those of us who do participate simply because you don't like it.

yup...everything you said is exactly what people say who pay the thousands of $$ it takes to keep their kid "elite". No axe to grind, nor am I surprised in the least at your reaction.

As I said...my kids can totally be both. DS18 was pretty close. My POINT was, we didn't seek or or pay for it to happen. If a kid makes it because of his talent and skill, GREAT! I LOVE those stories.

If you think that a DIII or NAIA signing is amazing and wonderful, good! By all means, live it up. Have your day in the sun...you paid for and earned it!

Live and let live...that's what I do IRL. Here, I give my opinion on it.

Carry on....

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I know your boy has had an awesome experience. Much of that is because his mom is realistic and amazing. I've tried to be that mom too, but boy it could feel lonely during soccer and girls basketball. Having done gymnastics, I thought I saw all the drama possible. Never thought soccer would be more. LOL

I understand what you mean. DS had some tough times, too, of course, and had coaches who were sometimes negative. Teammates weren't always supportive or inclusive. But he was somehow able to look past a lot of that in order to keep his focus on playing, and maybe that's where we came in - we were not only able to provide him the opportunity to play, we were able to be there for him when times got especially tough. He realizes he is very fortunate having that. (And it was something DH and I wanted to do since neither of us had much opportunity to do anything growing up.)

But it's him who really did most of the hard work. From the beginning, he wasn't someone who was known where we live or had a parent who coached and such. He was also small and shy, so he had to work extra hard to develop, and earn and keep his spots on teams. That stick-to-it-ness paid off because it became part of his persona to be able to stick around with the toughest and best of them, and that, I think, has helped him develop skills that coaches like and he'll be able to call on in his future. For him, that has been a great thing. When I see the way he carries himself now, and interacts with people, it comes from the confidence he's developed from his years in his sport. Absolutely. With a good helping of a supportive family. And this is what I see a lot of around the sport at this level. Looking back on it I think in many ways it made us closer as a family and we all enjoyed our experiences. I know this isn't true of everyone, some people hate the travel and don't want to interact with other parents and families, etc. I guess it just depends on all of the people and personalities involved, players, families and teams included. (And from what I'm reading it seems as if things could've changed in the almost 20 years since DS started playing, idk.)

 

[Klayfish]

. Maybe I'm just too simplistic, I don't understand all the fuss over this stuff. My kids are out on the fields playing sports instead of on the couch playing video games. I'm happy. Whatever happens as they continue to play will work itself out in due time. I don't really care about what other parents do.

 

[tcufrog]

I have a friend whose daughter was one of the best competitive swimmers in the state. When they'd go on vacation she'd find pools where they went so she wouldn't fall behind on her training. She was recruited by multiple well-respected universities and offered swimming scholarships. She ultimately decided against swimming in college though because she was realistic and knew that she didn't have a long-term future in swimming. She wasn't an Olympic caliber swimmer and no amount of training would get her there. She wanted to major in accounting and knew it would be smarter long-term to concentrate on her studies than to swim at the college level.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I have a friend whose daughter was one of the best competitive swimmers in the state. When they'd go on vacation she'd find pools where they went so she wouldn't fall behind on her training. She was recruited by multiple well-respected universities and offered swimming scholarships. She ultimately decided against swimming in college though because she was realistic and knew that she didn't have a long-term future in swimming. She wasn't an Olympic caliber swimmer and no amount of training would get her there. She wanted to major in accounting and knew it would be smarter long-term to concentrate on her studies than to swim at the college level.

I think what some of us are trying to say, though, is that not every athlete playing in college is playing because they think they're going to go to the Olympics or into professional sports. Playing in college in and of itself has value, and that's why many are playing. Some who can, but don't want to, may realize it's not something they want to take on in addition to the rigors of coursework, or that they want to have more of a social life or more free time, and that's probably smart.

 

[sam_gordon]

my kids can totally be both.

What I'm hearing from you is "MY kids can do both. Any other kid who is playing can't."

My POINT was, we didn't seek or or pay for it to happen.

I am curious... your kids were so good in sports, you didn't have to pay ANYTHING to have them play somewhere? They just played pickup games in the park and they were "discovered"?

If you think that a DIII or NAIA signing is amazing and wonderful, good! By all means, live it up. Have your day in the sun...you paid for and earned it!

Where did I say that? For all I know, my child may play DIII or NAIA. MY point, is you (anyone aside from the family) don't know why they picked that school to attend. Is it not exciting to know your child was accepted to a college, REGARDLESS of the level? Would you feel better if parents told their kids "sure, you'll get to play the sport you love at the next level, but it's a bottom level school, so no big deal"?

 

[Lilacs4Me]

What I'm hearing from you is "MY kids can do both. Any other kid who is playing can't."

No, you have been trying to insinuate that. I am saying that I don't need my kid to be a superstar athlete. I'll settle for them just being a good person. Some kids can be both, pretty much all can be one. Being one doesn't preclude you from being the other, and vice versa. No drama to be had here, so no need to try to cause any!

I am curious... your kids were so good in sports, you didn't have to pay ANYTHING to have them play somewhere? They just played pickup games in the park and they were "discovered"?

First - no...not my kids, my KID. The other two are decent, but not likely to go on past high school. They just don't have the passion for their sport(s) the way DS18 did.

Costs: We paid $150/each year for the first 2 years of youth football, $75 the 3rd because DH had gotten laid off and we asked for financial help and got it in exchange for volunteering at every home game, nothing the 4th and 5th year because DH coached and in that league coaches kids were free (but it would have been about $200/year if I remember correctly), and $375 the last two until he was in high school because we moved and the area we moved to has a higher cost of living and everything is more expensive.
Cleats and mouthguard were about another $60-75/year.
High School football cost the pay-to-pay fee of $200/first sport of the year, $150/2nd, $100/3rd.
two week-long summer camps in Middle School at UM for $300/each time (that DH was also paid to coach at) just because he loved the game and wanted to go.
2 one-day camps/showcases before he got hurt that were $60/each.
Had he not gotten hurt, he probably would have done about 2 each year of HS at $60/each,

I'll let you do the math on the total costs for the decade, but in total, I don't think it amounts to as much as what some people pay for one year of a travel sport. And yes...his HS play spoke for itself because the last camp he attended was between freshman and sophomore year right before his first injury, and after he came back from that he didn't go to any. He still had recruiters coming to his school and calling him out of class and coming to watch his games and talking to him his senior year. I'm not saying they were all from Alabama or Michigan or anything; what I am saying is that by us doing virtually NOTHING, he was still being looked at by *someone*.

DS13 and DD14 both pay lacrosse for free because they are goalies. Around here, almost all leagues will waive the fees for goalies because they need kids to play! It's just rec...we don't do travel But it was good enough to give DD a little experience and get some playing time on her HS team this year as a freshman. That's really all we cared about. She's not going to play in college and that's ok.

However, I do understand that football is different than soccer and very few soccer recruiters will come to high school games...from what I've heard, and I have many family members that played soccer, they will mostly only pay attention to the "elite" travel teams, which is one (but not the only, I get it) reason families are so driven to get their kids to that level AND pay for it. Personally I think that is crazy that parents are practically forced to do that just so their kid can have a shot at college play, and honestly I wouldn't pay for it. Apparently, a lot of people are willing to (you included). Spend your money how you want, and hopefully your kid is having fun doing it!

Where did I say that? For all I know, my child may play DIII or NAIA. MY point, is you (anyone aside from the family) don't know why they picked that school to attend. Is it not exciting to know your child was accepted to a college, REGARDLESS of the level? Would you feel better if parents told their kids "sure, you'll get to play the sport you love at the next level, but it's a bottom level school, so no big deal"?

Yes, very exciting to know a kid is accepted to a college! My big issue is not that you are proud (because you should be proud of ALL accomplishments your kids make!), or want to celebrate a milestone, etc, but that (some) people act like, on signing day, that getting a partial academic scholarship to play club lacrosse at Sienna Heights College is the same as getting a full-ride, all expenses covered DI scholarship to play football for Ohio State. To me, personally, it seems an awful lot like 8th grade graduation vs. high school graduation around here...and I don't care for that either. But judging from the amount of celebration some people put into it - cap and gown processions, ceremonies, parties, gifts, professional photo shoots, etc - not everyone feels like I do. I'm not looking to change anyone's mind or make it not happen, but I can absolutely feel the way I do, about it.

You seem very defensive and way more invested in this than me, and yes we did have that talk and my kid decided over a year ago that DIII/NAIA football was not something he wanted to destroy the rest of his body for (personal decision of HIS, not saying it's better or the right decision for every 18 year old out there), so I'll just agree to disagree and close this by saying - no matter what you decide to let your kid do, just enjoy every second of the ride. Your kid(s) seem younger than mine, so just enjoy whatever you decide to do with them. I miss seeing my boy out there on the field every time I'm at the school or pass a football/lacrosse field, but neither he or I will ever regret giving him the opportunity that he did have.

 

[sam_gordon]

No, I am saying that I don't need MY kid to be a superstar athlete. I'll settle for them just being a good person. Some kids can be both, pretty much all can be one.

Here's the thing... *I* don't NEED my kid to be a superstar athlete either. I don't think he IS a superstar athlete. He is better than some (obviously). What I NEED is to have him enjoy whatever he is doing. That can be sports, academics, drama, art, whatever.

Personally I think that is crazy that parents are practically forced to do that just so their kid can have a shot at college play, and honestly I wouldn't pay for it.

While some parents do go the travel sports route (and pay for it) with the end goal being college play, that's not us. Why did we do travel? Because the kids were better than others and we wanted them to have challenges. I don't believe putting them in a recreational league so they can be the "star" is a good life lesson. I'd rather have them go up against tougher competition and be challenged. Yes, that them better athletes as well as better people... knowing how to overcome adversity is great life lesson.

(some) people act like getting a partial academic scholarship to play club lacrosse at Sienna Heights College is the same as getting a full-ride, all expenses covered DI scholarship to play football for Ohio State.

If people are acting like that (and I'm sure some do), you're right, it's ridiculous. But to paint all travel sports families with the same brush isn't fair. If that's not what you meant, I apologize.

Do I hope my kids get a scholarship? Sure. Do I care whether it's at DI, II, III, or NAIA? No. Do I care whether it's academic or athletic? No. If he decides he's done with soccer before going to college, will I think of the last 10+ years as a waste? Absolutely not. Our GOAL isn't the scholarship.

 

[JimMIA]

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