After tirelessly searching the internet and wracking my brain (and DH's), I figured I would stop here and look for some advice.
My sister (I'll refer to her as B) is getting married next summer. I'm her Matron of Honor, and I have been tasked with finding a task for my other sister (I'll refer to her as K) at the wedding.
Both B and I are typically-abled; however, K is on the autism spectrum. She's diagnosed as Asperger's, but her therapist and the mentor who helps my mother navigate the school system's red tape do not think that that is the appropriate diagnosis for her as her abilities are not as high functioning as is expected from someone with that diagnosis. K is 18, but she has the social functions of a typically-abled 10-12 year old on a good day.
While I love my sister to pieces, and I would do anything for her, I'm having a very hard time coming up with a task. B has already assigned program distribution duties to the siblings of the flower girl and ring bearer, so that job is out. B is not having anyone stand up with her and her husband to be at the ceremony, so the role of bridesmaid is out.
Having her do a reading at the ceremony or reception isn't really an option as she has speech delays and is easily flustered reading out loud; I am worried that she will get embarrassed. She is aware of when others are uncomfortable at her expense. Before she was placed in the correct placement at school, she was ridiculed unmercifully when having to read out loud in class; it's not a place I want to take her back to. While our family is familiar with her, the groom's family is not. And, no one wants either of my sisters or myself to sing.
The reality is, I want her to be happy, and I want her to feel like she's helping as she is one of the sweetest people I know. She takes great pride in helping others, and I know she wants to help. If I don't find something for her to do, I know she will feel left out; that breaks my heart. I'm just having a hard time finding a role that is perfect for her. It could be at the ceremony, rehearsal dinner or reception.
I've spent months agonizing over this; I need help. I'm hoping someone out there has an idea that I haven't thought of yet.
My sister (I'll refer to her as B) is getting married next summer. I'm her Matron of Honor, and I have been tasked with finding a task for my other sister (I'll refer to her as K) at the wedding.
Both B and I are typically-abled; however, K is on the autism spectrum. She's diagnosed as Asperger's, but her therapist and the mentor who helps my mother navigate the school system's red tape do not think that that is the appropriate diagnosis for her as her abilities are not as high functioning as is expected from someone with that diagnosis. K is 18, but she has the social functions of a typically-abled 10-12 year old on a good day.
While I love my sister to pieces, and I would do anything for her, I'm having a very hard time coming up with a task. B has already assigned program distribution duties to the siblings of the flower girl and ring bearer, so that job is out. B is not having anyone stand up with her and her husband to be at the ceremony, so the role of bridesmaid is out.
Having her do a reading at the ceremony or reception isn't really an option as she has speech delays and is easily flustered reading out loud; I am worried that she will get embarrassed. She is aware of when others are uncomfortable at her expense. Before she was placed in the correct placement at school, she was ridiculed unmercifully when having to read out loud in class; it's not a place I want to take her back to. While our family is familiar with her, the groom's family is not. And, no one wants either of my sisters or myself to sing.
The reality is, I want her to be happy, and I want her to feel like she's helping as she is one of the sweetest people I know. She takes great pride in helping others, and I know she wants to help. If I don't find something for her to do, I know she will feel left out; that breaks my heart. I'm just having a hard time finding a role that is perfect for her. It could be at the ceremony, rehearsal dinner or reception.
I've spent months agonizing over this; I need help. I'm hoping someone out there has an idea that I haven't thought of yet.