Austism: refuses to travel anymore

[AdamEfimoff]

Nope never forced her on a trip. (not to get into the law but she is not functioning to make adult decisions, we have guardianship) The trips we took were centered around her because she wanted to go to NYC, the beaches, WDW, Disneyland etc. She loved WDW the more than anything from 2003-2016. I would do whatever she wanted which included riding the People Mover over and over and over and over. Sitting for an hour watching the jumping water in EPCOT or enjoying the trash can with bubbles that came out.

I do wonder if one day she will snap out of it and want to travel again. She does talk about going to eat at Goofy's Kitchen in CA.

so sorry did not mean to be so judgemental. I am sometimes such an idiot and say idiotic things. Please I am very sorry for writing that. I did not think of the grand Floridian drowning . I am glad however you have taken her to care. I am 'trying' to go to South Africa. And I am failing to convince my mum to take me and I am 30. I have Aspergers . I think I will never go. Want to see safari. My mum says is too dangerous. I think she is worried I do not have 'street smarts' . I would love to go to South Africa. But respect my mom's 'decision' . The thing is I actually have enough money to go . But I respect my mum's input.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

We also find ourselves in a similar situation with our son, 16. He is refusing to do any local activities lately. He is excited to go to Disney, but right now is no longer willing to go bowling, to the local zoo, parks, etc.

Part of me thinks that he this is his way of exhibiting control. I am sensitive to the fact that he has very little say in what he gets to do compared to most kids his age. I think that his refusals are his way of letting us know that he wants to be a little more independent in his own decision making skills. I think back to when our daughter was his age and the push-back that she gave us about things (staying out with friends/ social events, etc.). In comparison between my 2 kids, we received pushback from both, but with very different situations.

I also have done a little research as it bothers me that our son is refusing to do some of the activities he loved so much as a little boy. I found this chart to be a little reassuring that this behavior may be "normal" and that one day he will move past it. Our son is 16, but developmentally delayed. If you look at the "Autonomy" row under the column of "Early Adolescence", one of the milestones lists "Things of childhood rejected". In my son's situation, he may not be yet rejecting his childhood toys, but is rejecting his childhood experiences.

I wonder if you allowed your daughter to believe that she was in "control" of planning a Disney (or other) vacation, if she would be more open to travel. Allow her to research the resorts (internet, books or pictures) and pick where she wants to stay. Allow her to pick out restaurants and attractions. This is the same strategy we are using with our son next week for Spring Break, only with local outings. I am hoping it will work.

Good luck to you OP! You are an amazing mom and I am hopeful that your sweet daughter finds her love for travel again soon!
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Thanks! Crazy thing is she plans so many local activities that we do on the weekends. She keeps saying she wants to go to "Goofy's Kitchen" (in the Disneyland Hotel in CA) ; I respond with okay, start packing then she laughs and says no. I guess if one day she does start packing I better be ready to trek across country. Wishing you all the best with your son.

 

[mlunsford]

Such an amazing thread! As a parent of one severely autistic 19 year old and also a severe 6 year old.... I can relate to each of the stories posted. We are getting ready for our next trip to Disney in May (this will be our 5th trip). I am starting to get nervous that we will be last minute convincing our 19 year old. He normally resists vacations at first then says ok ok and his happy to make the trip. Then a short meltdown 2 days in. Hugs to all you amazing mothers.

 

[Cloudy]

Wanted to follow along. I am a mother of a non verbal autistic 22 year old son. No advice, just wanted to say I understand. We have a trip planned to Disney in May as well. Flying by myself and DS alone this trip as DH is driving and meeting us there. I am very nervous about making it though security with DS alone. Normally we sandwich him between 2 adults. Sometimes TSA is understanding but most times they just dont get it. Wish me luck.

 

[mlunsford]

Wanted to follow along. I am a mother of a non verbal autistic 22 year old son. No advice, just wanted to say I understand. We have a trip planned to Disney in May as well. Flying by myself and DS alone this trip as DH is driving and meeting us there. I am very nervous about making it though security with DS alone. Normally we sandwich him between 2 adults. Sometimes TSA is understanding but most times they just dont get it. Wish me luck.

You got this girl! I know the very fear you have for sure. TSA is always so rushed, drives me crazy! My husband now insists on driving because of it. I hope you have a wonderful trip. We are May 30th - June 3rd with a first time split stay!

 

[Mamabun]

Wanted to follow along. I am a mother of a non verbal autistic 22 year old son. No advice, just wanted to say I understand. We have a trip planned to Disney in May as well. Flying by myself and DS alone this trip as DH is driving and meeting us there. I am very nervous about making it though security with DS alone. Normally we sandwich him between 2 adults. Sometimes TSA is understanding but most times they just dont get it. Wish me luck.

I used to dread airport/tsa security checks too. Then I heard about TSA Cares (free service provided by the TSA to help those with disabilities). They provide an escort to help you get through security with minimal lines and they are very understanding about what you may need to do to get everyone through the scanner. You just call them a week or so before your trip and they’ll help you set everything up. I’ve never used them at MCO, but have used them at multiple other airports and they have always been helpful, and I don’t dread TSA so much any more.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Wanted to follow along. I am a mother of a non verbal autistic 22 year old son. No advice, just wanted to say I understand. We have a trip planned to Disney in May as well. Flying by myself and DS alone this trip as DH is driving and meeting us there. I am very nervous about making it though security with DS alone. Normally we sandwich him between 2 adults. Sometimes TSA is understanding but most times they just dont get it. Wish me luck.

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. For TSA what works so well for us is I have my daughter wear a bright yellow shirt printed on the front “I have Autism. If I’m alone call 911”. TSA loves this shirt. I don’t have to explain anything in all the rush. They know right off the situation and keep her in my view. They have praised me on many occasions saying they want to be helpful but don’t always know when a person needs help. The shirt is great for that. Also she can easily be seen in a crowd. On the plane it is helpful as it alerts persons and flight attendants.

 

[MrsBlovesDisney]

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. For TSA what works so well for us is I have my daughter wear a bright yellow shirt printed on the front “I have Autism. If I’m alone call 911”. TSA loves this shirt. I don’t have to explain anything in all the rush. They know right off the situation and keep her in my view. They have praised me on many occasions saying they want to be helpful but don’t always know when a person needs help. The shirt is great for that. Also she can easily be seen in a crowd. On the plane it is helpful as it alerts persons and flight attendants.

GREAT idea!!

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Such an amazing thread! As a parent of one severely autistic 19 year old and also a severe 6 year old.... I can relate to each of the stories posted. We are getting ready for our next trip to Disney in May (this will be our 5th trip). I am starting to get nervous that we will be last minute convincing our 19 year old. He normally resists vacations at first then says ok ok and his happy to make the trip. Then a short meltdown 2 days in. Hugs to all you amazing mothers.

Hugs to you too. Wishing you all the best with your boys.

 

[JessicaW1234]

so sorry did not mean to be so judgemental. I am sometimes such an idiot and say idiotic things. Please I am very sorry for writing that. I did not think of the grand Floridian drowning . I am glad however you have taken her to care. I am 'trying' to go to South Africa. And I am failing to convince my mum to take me and I am 30. I have Aspergers . I think I will never go. Want to see safari. My mum says is too dangerous. I think she is worried I do not have 'street smarts' . I would love to go to South Africa. But respect my mom's 'decision' . The thing is I actually have enough money to go . But I respect my mum's input.

Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sure everyone understands now.

 

[DisneyOma]

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories. For TSA what works so well for us is I have my daughter wear a bright yellow shirt printed on the front “I have Autism. If I’m alone call 911”. TSA loves this shirt. I don’t have to explain anything in all the rush. They know right off the situation and keep her in my view. They have praised me on many occasions saying they want to be helpful but don’t always know when a person needs help. The shirt is great for that. Also she can easily be seen in a crowd. On the plane it is helpful as it alerts persons and flight attendants.

GREAT idea!!

Hopefully the terrorists don't see this thread.

Remember, TSA is trying to keep us all safe - they have to screen for our safety, and people who want to hurt/kill/terrorize are very clever. They could try just about anything, and they have no qualms about using innocent people, etc. I love the idea of TSA Cares - I'm assuming they do a complete screening, but they are more sensitive about issues?

 

[MrsBlovesDisney]

Hopefully the terrorists don't see this thread.

Remember, TSA is trying to keep us all safe - they have to screen for our safety, and people who want to hurt/kill/terrorize are very clever. They could try just about anything, and they have no qualms about using innocent people, etc. I love the idea of TSA Cares - I'm assuming they do a complete screening, but they are more sensitive about issues?

Yes. They still go thru a complete screening. TSA workers are much more sensitive around our special needs children when they are made aware of the situation, and it is greatly appreciated. We have never used TSA Cares, wish we had known about it when our son was younger....we could have really used it. We are so thankful for TSA precheck these days!

 

[budgie]

I obviously can't answer as to someone else's intentions, however, as an adult with autism (Aspergers) I can say that I can relate to this situation with myself. Outside of a specific incident happening which would make me avoid a repeat scenario, sometimes I just go through 'moods' as we have come to call them in my family. Travelling away from home brings a lot of sensory conflicts. New room, new bed, dealing with the security of TSA, fear of flying, crowds, noises... on and on... There is also the common problem of the fears that I conjure up in my mind that maybe were never there before. I fixate on it and the thought of it happening sometimes is so strong it makes me avoid like the plague. They are silly but they won't leave and become obsessive. As an example, I was convinced that I wouldn't be allowed into Disneyland if I had dyed my hair. So I guess what I'm saying is that it could be any number of a million things that could make someone with autism change their mind even on something they have done a few times before.

 

[married2mm]

I obviously can't answer as to someone else's intentions, however, as an adult with autism (Aspergers) I can say that I can relate to this situation with myself. Outside of a specific incident happening which would make me avoid a repeat scenario, sometimes I just go through 'moods' as we have come to call them in my family. Travelling away from home brings a lot of sensory conflicts. New room, new bed, dealing with the security of TSA, fear of flying, crowds, noises... on and on... There is also the common problem of the fears that I conjure up in my mind that maybe were never there before. I fixate on it and the thought of it happening sometimes is so strong it makes me avoid like the plague. They are silly but they won't leave and become obsessive. As an example, I was convinced that I wouldn't be allowed into Disneyland if I had dyed my hair. So I guess what I'm saying is that it could be any number of a million things that could make someone with autism change their mind even on something they have done a few times before.

Most insightful.
Thanks for sharing xxx

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

TSA always does a complete screening on both her and myself. The difference is they know she should not be separated from me so they will send her through the scanners before me so they are on one side and I am on the other. They speak more slowly and directly to her. We were randomly chosen once for extra screening and they were so good with her when I said for them to use simple language. They did speak clear and simple commands that she could follow and it was fine. We used TSA Cares only once and while the service was very good, I didn't feel we needed extra help like that going through security. One thing I remember that TSA really liked is when she was under 18 I had gotten her a state issued id card. Maryland gives these for free for the disabled and no paperwork was necessary to prove she was disabled. They also issue them for all youth so got my son a state id as well. TSA really liked these id's for the kids.

One kind of funny story is we were stopped at security and they kept going through our bags over and over. I couldn't figure out what it was they were looking for. I asked if it was my son's asthma inhaler and they said "no". Then I saw them really going through my daughters bag and all it had was a bunch of Disney stuffed toys. Finally they looked at the toys and said "You were in Disney". I said "Yes". They said "Did you go to the fireworks". I said "Yes, the Epcot ones the evening before." Turns out we bought her a Tiger toy at Epcot that she held all evening and some of the fireworks dust got on it and set off an alert.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Most insightful.
Thanks for sharing xxx

Thank you so much for this!

 

[MagicGeek]

There is so much to read on here, but i can relate to this. i am sole carer to my 23 year old daughter. who is Downs and has Autism dual diagnosis, her mum died when she was 14, we have been taking her to WDW and Florida since 2003 and after her mum died i carried it on, she was comfortable with it all, she could relate to the characters, she tolerated the noise and crowds to a certain degree, ear defenders helped as she got older, i took her to Disneyland in California last November, which was our first time there, i was excited to see the first ever Disney Park, but the crowds we're unbelievable! much more crowded than WDW, probably the fact that it's only two parks next to each other in a city the size of Los Angeles, but i've a feeling it's that that's put her off going to Disney, but i've managed to persuade her to go to WDW again in September, i made a lot of fun and games about the issue, i got Disney Life on her ipad for her which she loves, and i just keep talking about Disney and our favourite rides, i'm just hoping it was the bad expirience at Disneyland that had put her off, and hoping it's a better expirience at WDW, i would be heartbroken if i couldn't go again, and i could never go without her, obviously if she was absolutely adamant then we wouldn't be going.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

MagicGeek,
God bless you, you sound like such an amazing dad to do all this!

 

[blondietink]

My 26 yer old son with Autism loves to travel along with my 28 year old son with Down syndrome who is non-verbal. We are planning on going to WDW for the first time in 4 years in October. We have been to DL in California twice in the last 4 years. We had been to WDW so many times that we just needed a break and DL gave it to us. However, since my son with Autism likes routine and is trying to assert some independence, he was yelling a couple of weeks ago (yes, it was the full moon) about not wanting to go to WDW and could not give a reason other than he wanted to win a trip and stay at the Polynesian resort with Stitch. This continued on for several days and then he dropped it, although he has been somewhat agitated since. Yesterday he came home from being with staff and ran up to his room. All of a sudden he started yelling "Yippee" and other things. I didn't know what he was yelling about until he came down stairs and asked him. He said that Tom? from WDW called and told him he won a trip and we would be staying at the Contemporary Resort (we have a ressie at BLT). He was so excited that he was hugging everybody and jumping up and down. Of course he pretended that somebody had called, but I think this was his way of processing the fact that we didn't win the Wheel of Fortune trip that we entered every day. Now he is making a list of all the rides he wants to go on. I haven't got the heart yet to tell him the Stitch ride is closed. He will find out when he looks up the ride schedule for October online and he will accept the ride closure better than if I tried to tell him.

The moral of the story is that I can't figure out very often what is on his mind until he able to process something and is able to verbalize it, which can take days or weeks or months. Perhaps your daughter just can't tell you what is wrong until she herself can understand it.

 

[MagicGeek]

MagicGeek,
God bless you, you sound like such an amazing dad to do all this!

Thankyou Princess