Austism: refuses to travel anymore

[Princess Disney Mom]

Hi,
Wondering if anyone has had experience with this. My daughter is now 23 and refuses to travel anymore. She had been traveling since before we knew she had autism at the age of 11 months. From 9 years to about 22 she loved WDW. We had taken her almost everywhere during this span, WDW multiple times, NYC, Disneyland several times, Hershey, touring DC, etc. When she was 22 we were at the GF and the first day she was fine enjoying the pool and shopping. The resort was near empty because of bad weather so was not loud. The second day she refused for anyone to leave the room and by the third day it was apparent we had to get her home ASAP. We tried again to take her to WDW 6 months later and she started to have a meltdown at BWI so we didn't even attempt to board the plane with her.

Right now she refuses to travel by plane or car. She will do local museums, water parks etc.

Does anyone have experience with this?
Thanks,

 

[DisneyOma]

Hi,
Wondering if anyone has had experience with this. My daughter is now 23 and refuses to travel anymore. She had been traveling since before we knew she had autism at the age of 11 months. From 9 years to about 22 she loved WDW. We had taken her almost everywhere during this span, WDW multiple times, NYC, Disneyland several times, Hershey, touring DC, etc. When she was 22 we were at the GF and the first day she was fine enjoying the pool and shopping. The resort was near empty because of bad weather so was not loud. The second day she refused for anyone to leave the room and by the third day it was apparent we had to get her home ASAP. We tried again to take her to WDW 6 months later and she started to have a meltdown at BWI so we didn't even attempt to board the plane with her.

Right now she refuses to travel by plane or car. She will do local museums, water parks etc.

Does anyone have experience with this?
Thanks,

This sounds way too serious for internet advice - except to ask what does her doctor/therapist/psychologist think is going on?

 

[ArwenMarie]

Maybe she is happy just doing local things now? There are lots of people who don't like to go far from home and sometimes that preference can change throughout our lives

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

Maybe she is happy just doing local things now? There are lots of people who don't like to go far from home and sometimes that preference can change throughout our lives

That is what I was thinking. I am glad she still enjoys the local activities.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

This sounds way too serious for internet advice - except to ask what does her doctor/therapist/psychologist think is going on?

I have and she is being treated. Just wondering if anyone else experience this.

 

[ArwenMarie]

That is what I was thinking. I am glad she still enjoys the local activities.

That's great that she still enjoys local activities!

 

[FortForever]

I guess the obvious question is - Did something happen that first night at Disney? Or even the first day, that she didn't have time to dwell on until the night?

Autism is so hard to deal with, I'm very sorry you and your daughter and suffering.

My adult son, 28, has high functioning autism as well as brain injuries (from an accident 5 years ago) that make it even worse. We usually stay at Fort Wilderness, in our camper, but the same seems to apply to resort rooms. When we first arrive, he has a meltdown of sorts. Every single time. We live only a couple of hours away, so obviously drive. I think the anticipation, preparation, drive, check-in, and moving into the room or setting up the camper are just overwhelming for him.

Since this happens every single time, I know he will move past it and just give him his space. He is on meds that help his nerves and I now have him take an extra one shortly before we arrive. It seems to help some and reduces the time of the meltdown from all afternoon/evening to an hour or so. It's still miserable for all of us.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

I guess the obvious question is - Did something happen that first night at Disney? Or even the first day, that she didn't have time to dwell on until the night?

Autism is so hard to deal with, I'm very sorry you and your daughter and suffering.

My adult son, 28, has high functioning autism as well as brain injuries (from an accident 5 years ago) that make it even worse. We usually stay at Fort Wilderness, in our camper, but the same seems to apply to resort rooms. When we first arrive, he has a meltdown of sorts. Every single time. We live only a couple of hours away, so obviously drive. I think the anticipation, preparation, drive, check-in, and moving into the room or setting up the camper are just overwhelming for him.

Since this happens every single time, I know he will move past it and just give him his space. He is on meds that help his nerves and I now have him take an extra one shortly before we arrive. It seems to help some and reduces the time of the meltdown from all afternoon/evening to an hour or so. It's still miserable for all of us.

I can relate to your misery until the meltdown is over. It's tough.
For us on that trip nothing happened at all. The flight was fine, we always get a rental car for her so all good there. She went to the shops and got some toys and clothes. She was so happy in the pool. She had stayed at the GF before. She does not want to go to any beaches anymore either by plane or by car. I think just as an earlier poster said she is just happy staying close to home. While I miss being in the MK with her local stuff is okay too, I just want her to be happy.

 

[Weedy]

If she didn’t have autism and was a 23 year old and decided she no longer liked vacations a WDW would you question it?
Some people just don’t like the crowds.
I worked at WDW for 19 years, still live in Orlando and have no desire to go to the parks.

 

[Princess Disney Mom]

If she didn’t have autism and was a 23 year old and decided she no longer liked vacations a WDW would you question it?
Some people just don’t like the crowds.
I worked at WDW for 19 years, still live in Orlando and have no desire to go to the parks.

Yes good point.

 

[FortForever]

If she didn’t have autism and was a 23 year old and decided she no longer liked vacations a WDW would you question it?
Some people just don’t like the crowds.
I worked at WDW for 19 years, still live in Orlando and have no desire to go to the parks.

I absolutely wouldn't question it in my nuero-typical kids. Unfortunately, communication is an issue with autism - even high functioning. Parents have to rely on their gut instincts for most things. It's great to have the internet to share experiences and seek support.

I can relate to your misery until the meltdown is over.

Thankfully for us, our son's meltdowns are mostly quiet. He will only get loud if someone bothers him during them, so we let him work it out and get his bearings on his own. We have been at Disney as long as two weeks and he does fine the entire time. He loves it. The only problem is day of arrival, but that is with every trip, everywhere, not just Disney.

We've been in a much worse place and I'm thankful for things how they are now.

 

[Hoodie]

She may just be tired of traveling and *gasp* tired of Disney and doesn't know how to express it. My 8 year old had a complete meltdown when we went twice in one year. That is just NOT how things are done. We only got him to calm down when we said we would ride things we missed the first trip or he could ride with the other parent this time around. And the little bugger held us to it - he remembered exactly who he rode with on which rides and insisted on the other.

I saw this PSA a little after my son was diagnosed and every time I get frustrated or wonder why he's doing something, I go back to this. She's telling you something, but sometimes we can't figure out exactly what that something is. http://www.imdb.com/videoplayer/vi1528994841

 

[SueM in MN]

I know communication can be hard, but is she able to give you any ideas?

It may be that there was something about the resort the first day, or maybe it was the weather and she’s connected it somehow to WDW. Or maybe, it was just a bunch of little things that she can’t really put her finger on that might not be related to WDW at all.

Good luck in figuring it out.

 

[DLgal]

People (all people) change throughout their lives. It's normal. Some people become homebodies. Some people want to travel
more. Some become more social, some more introverted. She's changed. Let her be. Find a way to make her happy, but also keep doing what you love to do too. Get someone else to stay with her so you can keep traveling.

 

[Shanti]

Hi,
Wondering if anyone has had experience with this. My daughter is now 23 and refuses to travel anymore. She had been traveling since before we knew she had autism at the age of 11 months. From 9 years to about 22 she loved WDW. We had taken her almost everywhere during this span, WDW multiple times, NYC, Disneyland several times, Hershey, touring DC, etc. When she was 22 we were at the GF and the first day she was fine enjoying the pool and shopping. The resort was near empty because of bad weather so was not loud. The second day she refused for anyone to leave the room and by the third day it was apparent we had to get her home ASAP. We tried again to take her to WDW 6 months later and she started to have a meltdown at BWI so we didn't even attempt to board the plane with her.

Right now she refuses to travel by plane or car. She will do local museums, water parks etc.

Does anyone have experience with this?
Thanks,

What is her current level of functioning? High enough to hold down a good job & live independently, or not? If not, I recommend talking it over with a therapist/doctor who works with her, to sort out whether this is really just a new preference, or if it's part of a broader gradual withdrawal from the outside world. The latter is something you need to keep an eye on when you have a child with autism. (I have one, as well.)

 

[FortForever]

The latter is something you need to keep an eye on when you have a child with autism. (I have one, as well.)

This is exactly why I would fully explore rather than just accept that "people change."

 

[cattywampus]

Completely random thought (and no expert at all) but since the change was so dramatic Day 1 at the GF and the timing sounds about right, is it possible she overheard someone discussing the unfortunate alligator incident at the GF beach? I could see someone talking about it in the shops or by the pool at a time you might not have heard.

The fact that she wouldn't let anyone leave the room Day 2 suggests a protectiveness or fear for the safety of herself and family?

 

[AdamEfimoff]

She is 22 , legal adult, she can sadly do what she wants, forcing is against the law. It sucks but its the law

 

[Maggie'sMom]

She is 22 , legal adult, she can sadly do what she wants, forcing is against the law. It sucks but its the law

I don't think the OP's concern is with the legal ramifications of a 22 year old refusing to go on trips, but rather, concern for what's behind this drastic change. As the parent of a child with autism, I understand why the OP is asking about this. For a 22 year old autistic adult to go from happily enjoying a trip to not wanting anyone to even leave the resort room in one day is worrisome. I agree with the PPs who think there must have been something that she saw or heard that first day that triggered the change. With my DD, it can be difficult to suss out what's behind some sudden changes in behavior. Luckily, DD is pretty high functioning verbally, but she can have difficulty putting her fears and anxieties into words. Some times when the reason for her fear finally comes out, it's something so small that I didn't even give a second thought to it when it happened. I do wonder if @cattywampus is onto something with the idea that she might have overheard someone discussing the alligator attack at the GF. Something like that would explain her sudden fear of anyone leaving the resort room and her desire to not go to beaches anymore.

Have her therapists continue to address the fears and keep up with the local trips.

 

[LadyD]

I get where your daughter is coming from. I had a bad experience with the TSA at MCO, and now I do everything in my power to avoid flying out of that airport. It wasn’t even anything out of the ordinary that happened.

Take your cues from her and work with her therapist. She may come around again to some level of travel.