Any tips on how to become a better wife

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I feel like I am a monster my DH disagree. I feel like he deserves someone else he can do so much better.

 

[Auggietina]

Read: Dr Laura's Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Read: Dr Laura's Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

I will see if I can find it at the library

 

[happygirl]

I feel like I am a monster my DH disagree. I feel like he deserves someone else he can do so much better.

You are just barely married, It takes a while to get used to each other habits and quirks.

 

[kwelch10377]

What are some of the specific things where you think you are a "monster" or that you aren't a good wife?

 

[prncess674]

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-wary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quite. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. Some don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax-unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

http://vintymag.wordpress.com/2007/05/07/1950s-homemaking-tips-a-crash-course/

 

[marthachick]

I feel like I am a monster my DH disagree. I feel like he deserves someone else he can do so much better.

If your DH disagrees, you must be a good wife. Just treat him how you would like to be treated and things should be fine. People say the first year is the hardest.

 

[ImDMous]

Those are from the 50's right? I love websites that have a view of what was normal in a different time. I'll have to poke around on there more.

My poor husband!

 

[Pigeon]

Read: Dr Laura's Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.

Where's that puking smilie?

Being a good wife is about being a good partner and friend. It's not about being a doormat or checking your brain at the door.

When you say you aren't a good wife, what does that mean? Why do you feel that you aren't one?

 

[EmmyL258]

Are we serious here? Make dinner? Minimize noise?

Clearly the OP has some serious self-confidence issues here. What makes one wife good to one husband would make another wife annoying to another husband. Being a good wife is relative to each personal relationship.

OP, i think you should speak to a professional about why you feel like you're not a good wife when your husband doesn't seem to be giving her any inclination that that is true. I'm sorry you're going through this but a therapist, or counselor would be able to help you through these issues much better than a bunch of judgmental people on a message board. Good luck, it will get better I promise.

 

[Buckalew11]

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-wary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quite. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. Some don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax-unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

http://vintymag.wordpress.com/2007/05/07/1950s-homemaking-tips-a-crash-course/

We had a whole thread on this a few weeks ago. However, this has left out some of the more offensive parts!

 

[mikehn]

Things get better? Says who? The odds are stacked against things getting better. Everyone here knows the divorce rate.

 

[ead79]

I recommend "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. And cut yourself some slack! Marriages require work and compromise on both sides.

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

I am way harder on my self then I should be and it has been a hard summer both working are butts off on the house still have a lot of work to do and a lot of but kissing to my boss to keep my job to the point I am ready to pull my hair out

 

[happygirl]

Things get better? Says who? The odds are stacked against things getting better. Everyone here knows the divorce rate.

Don't listen to this. Sounds like sour grapes to me

 

[Poohforyou]

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-wary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quite. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. Some don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax-unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

http://vintymag.wordpress.com/2007/05/07/1950s-homemaking-tips-a-crash-course/

Seriously?

OP, if your husband and/or you aren't happy with how things are you should talk about them and come to some mutual decisions on how to change your arrangement. If he says everything is ok but still seems unhappy than that's on him.

 

[tyniknate]

Have dinner ready: Plan ahead even the night before to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-wary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quite. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. Some don’ts: Don’t greet him with problems or complaints. Don’t complain if he’s late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax-unwind.

Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

http://vintymag.wordpress.com/2007/05/07/1950s-homemaking-tips-a-crash-course/

Seriously? This whole statement make me sick!

 

[tinkerbellandeeyor]

Seriously?

OP, if your husband and/or you aren't happy with how things are you should talk about them and come to some mutual decisions on how to change your arrangement. If he says everything is ok but still seems unhappy than that's on him.

You are right but he hardly talks

 

[kwelch10377]

I am way harder on my self then I should be and it has been a hard summer both working are butts off on the house still have a lot of work to do and a lot of but kissing to my boss to keep my job to the point I am ready to pull my hair out

Instead of focusing on being a better wife I think you need to focus on being a better you. If your job is stressful maybe you need to start looking elsewhere. I would also look into a hobby or something that will help relieve some of your stress.

I don't think the issue here is figuring out ways to be a better wife, but just be a better you and how to manage your stress.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Instead of focusing on being a better wife I think you need to focus on being a better you. If your job is stressful maybe you need to start looking elsewhere. I would also look into a hobby or something that will help relieve some of your stress.

I don't think the issue here is figuring out ways to be a better wife, but just be a better you and how to manage your stress.

I agree...I am one of the people who feel like if you can't love/like yourself, who else can?

Sounds like you are down on yourself OP