Amy's "BUT I'M NOT A RUNNER" Journal

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

I'm leaving for WDW tomorrow, but I wanted to let you know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending you some extra for the long run this weekend....Please be sure and listen to your body and always, take good care of you.

I'll "see" you when we get back from WDW!

 

[kimwim8]

Hey Amy. Just sending HUGS to you. I hope everything's ok.

 

[CJK]

Oh Amy, so sorry to hear about your continued pain. You're such a fighter! Do let us know what the update is after your various appointments. We're rootin' for you!

 

[ScoJo15]

Hi Amy!!

CAUTION: The following post contains not-so-great speculation as to the whereabouts of our friend Amy. Amy, if you are seriously injured or are totally wiped out of training right now, please take this entry light hearted and note that it is a feeble stab at some humor to hopefully brighten your day and get you to post for us again. I sincerely hope that everything is ok for you and that you are finding reasons for your pains and are working towards fixing them. With that said.....

WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU??!!??

You went way way over your alloted vacation days earlier this year so I don't think you are out hamming it up on a beach somewhere....you must not be running (or at least not as much as before) or you would have posted something letting me know you'd be taking over the Wednesday title again soon....so that leads me to speculate on your whereabouts. Allow me to propose a few scenarios & you can let me know which one was most accurate when you return (you ARE gonna post again, right?).

Scenario #1: You actually were able to get back out there and run again...so you set out for a long run, enjoyed the runner's high so much that you decided to stay in that state of euphoria and...well....never stopped running. Knowing that you start out headed west, and that you average around 10mpm on the long ones, that should put you somewhere near Harrisburg by the end of the week. A search party will be dispatched accordingly and if that fails, thank goodness Tracy will be back from WDW in time to try and intercept you as you make your way through Ohio.

Scenario #2: You ran for the border. No, no, no...not Mexico...Taco Bell. Who knew that Chalupa with extra sour cream would contain enough E Coli to make you pretty sick (my apologies to anyone who actually got this from Taco Bell in NY/NJ). I'm not sure how that would fit into the overall training plan as I think the bacteria strain has no electrolytes, carbohydrates or vitamins that would benefit us ultra athletes. Should have you back to normal in a few days though.

Scenario #3: I remember last time that I did this, you came forth with the fact that you were an international spy. Gosh, I really hope you didn't get mixed up in that Polonium mess over in Russia. Maybe I need to do a search of all flights out of Laguardia headed to Moscow over the last week and see if your ultra secret spy name ("Mr. Bojangles") shows up on the passenger log. Come to think of it, now that I've outed you and given away your spy name....i thought thaat watteerrrrrrrr tastd arreia; afu;kl;ar *thud*

Scenario #4: Six words: Rampaging elephants drunk on rice beer. *shudder* The horror.

Scenario #5: You have been diligently pursuing the reason for your hip/leg/back pain and are in the midst of visiting an arsenal of doctors, therapists and chiropractors. While in that pursuit, you have been advised/prevented/unable to do cross-training and/or running and you simply don't want to post if you don't have a week of solid training to talk about. Just know that if that is the case, you've got more guts and determination than all of us combined and we are all pulling for you to get this thing figured out and get back on track with your road to the marathon. No reason to hang your head, you should hold it very high and be proud of your tenacity and resistance to failure. Let us know how you are coming along and we'll support you every step of the way. Everyone has setbacks, it's how they deal with them that makes them who they are.

So there you have it. I have taken up enough time and space in your journal and will now move on to actually posting in mine again (if the stupid boards allow me to). I really hope everything is ok with you. Check in and let us know, would ya? (Ok Ok OK...I'll do it...I'll say it...."Amy, here is some PD wishing your speedy recovery and return")

Have a great day!

 

[kimwim8]

YEAH!! Scott is back too! You're too funny, man.

My thoughts were that you AND Amy ditched us all! I'm glad that's not the case!

 

[AmyBeth68]

Post Deleted

 

[kimwim8]

Thank you for the update, Amy! I won't speak for your other supporters, but I know I feel better when I hear from you. Good, bad or ugly! My imagination gets the best of me when I don't know what's going on. I know that this is a personal journey for you, and I don't want to force you in any way to share anything you don't want to. Just know that I (we) care about you!

And from me, you are still the strongest woman I know! (you always will be)

 

[keenercam]

Amy -- I am convinced that you will be fine come January 7. You have built such a solid base and have been putting in the steps. Just keep doing whatever you are able to do, even if it is upper body strength training and get yourself to the start line. Remember the WISH team motto -- Dead Last Finish is Better than Did Not Finish which greatly trumps Did Not Start.
Sending prayers and pixiedust, sweetie! :

 

[AmyBeth68]

Thanks Kim and Cam! You girls are so special to me , thanks so much for all the support and encouragement.

I'm doing pretty good all things considered. I'm busy...getting ready for the holidays and still dreaming about making it to Disney for the marathon. I managed to take a pilates class today and the chiropractor appt went better than expected. I got some short term relief from the pain which was so wonderful...just felt like a new person finally...even if it was only for an hour or two.

It gets tough sometimes...and I start to feel sorry for myself which is entirely counter-productive.....but it's times like these when I'm alone with my thoughts that it gets really discouraging. It seems that my body has been trying to tell me this all along...and now finally it says.."no Amy...you were right and you really are NOT a runner"....Stupid body . It does seem though that I just wasn't meant to run. It will be pure determination that will get me through the 26.2 if I can walk to the starting line on Jan. 7th. It's such an intimidating prospect. I had hopes of completing the marathon with a strong finish and a good time...maybe break the 5 hour mark. I had those dreams and this summer I was really beginning to think I could do it. Unfortunately tonight I just feel broken . The idea of failure...no matter what the reason...is a bitter pill to swallow . So I guess that's why I've been staying away from here. I'm so proud of everyone for their accomplishments and victories around here...I really truly am....but it just reminds me of how far I've slipped at this point. And I'm consumed with my worry again tonight...

If I do make it to Jan. 7th...I'll be painfully unprepared. I won't have the base....the experience...the proper training.....the confidence .

If I don't make it to Jan. 7th...well....that's just plain depressing. Put it on the list. Another thing I tried and didn't accomplish .

Sorry to bum you all out lol. I try all day to be positive and upbeat. But in the late hours I start to self-doubt and worry. So here I am tonight...putting my thoughts out there for all to see. I'll snap out of my self-obsessed whining sooner or later lol. I just appreciate anyone who takes the time to read my ramblings and offer support. It helps tremendously, and I deeply appreciate it! So thank you so much.

 

[kimwim8]

Amy, I'm BEYOND proud of you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I know it's SO hard. But (and I'm only gonna say this once)...

you ARE a runner!!!

You are an amazing runner! Maybe not a marathon runner (and that's not because you can't do it, it's because you CAN'T do it because of a physical reason). You're not being lazy. You're not giving up or quitting. Your body isn't letting you because of a specific reason. But that doesn't mean you're not a runner. You kick a$$ on those other runs (5K's, 10 miles, whatever!)

Not everyone is cut out for marathons. But that doesn't mean (once you're healed & feeling better) that running is completely done for you. Look at me, I get out there some days for 20 minute runs. It's nuts...I probably don't even finish 2 miles sometimes. But I love the running, and that's what it's about. I know you love it too, and I know that's why this is hard.

Maybe, just maybe, we can do the 1/2 marathon together sometime!

I love ya, lady. You're completely allowed to feel the way you feel. Just know I'm here for you, anytime. No matter what!

 

[ScoJo15]

"It's very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit."
- George Sheehan

I read this somewhere.

I think that little voice inside your head is screaming loudly right now, especially during those late nights.

I know it's hard, but you have to realize that it's not your body's inability to be a runner...but it's just bad timing, finding out structural issues in the 16th week of marathon training. It does sound hopeful though that the chiro helped things out (even if it was only for an hour or two)...I hope that you have more appointments with him set up as he may be the best bet at this point.

I'm sorry that you are having so many difficulties, but I do know that you are a fighter and will not give up. Please don't consider yourself a failure...you are anything but that.

I really hope that things get better for you...hang in there and don't be afraid to post here for support. It's why we are here in the first place.

I hope today is a better day for you

 

[keenercam]

Amy -- let's take a look at one critical thing.
1. Have you ever trained for a marathon before this? If yes, then you know what it takes. If no, give yourself a pat on the back for bringing yourself to the training process.
2. Have you ever started a marathon before?
No,right? Well, just getting yourself to the start line puts you literally miles and miles and miles ahead of the majority of the population.
3. Have you ever finished a marathon before?
No, right? Well, guess what, chickie! No matter how much we all plan and train, when it comes right down to it NONE of us knows how we will do on THE day.

I think your objective MUST be to FINISH, regardless of your pace or time. No matter how long it takes you to get to the FINISH line, it will be a PR for you. Give yourself credit for all you have already accomplished and be proud of what you will ultimately accomplish.

The cold, hard reality, Amy, is that many people sustain injuries and have to "settle" for doing something other than what they know is their optimal performance come race day. But giving up entirely is NOT an option.

Unless the doctors tell you that you shouldn't even WALK 26.2 miles, then you must re-orient your mindset that for this, your first Disney Marathon, you are just going to cover those 26.2 miles and love every minute and every mile. Walk it if you must, take pictures with the characters, take pictures of the awesome mile markers, wave to the spectators, look for WISH Scream Team members along the course -- HAVE FUN!!!

As John Bingham said at the Expo last year -- "You're at Disney. You have 7 hours. Why Rush? Enjoy the course and the people."

Okay, I've rambled on long enough. Amy, you ARE a runner. But runners suffer injuries and illnesses and conditions that don't always allow their bodies to perform at optimal level on race day. It doesn't make them any less of a runner. It simply means they are "running" longer.

Hang in there, hon. You are going to have a fabulous time. And remember, we are doing the same race. There isn't even a chance of you being DLF as long as I am on the course, too.

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy,
Sorry your feeling so low at the moment & as a fellow dis friend who is also housebound at the moment & hating it, i know how you feel!!! daytime tv!!!!!

I hope you get to the marathon, you sound like a runner to me - only a dedicated runner would be so disheartened at the thought of not getting to run,
& remember the harder something is to reach the more rewarding it is to achieve,
go to wdw & if the worst happens at least your still in wdw
Try to keep positive, i'm a big believer in positive thinking, good luck
Tracey

 

[CJK]

Oh Amy. I am so sorry to hear that you're feeling down and that your training has had to be put on hold. I wish I had something profound to add, but the others have said it better than I can. You've worked so hard and despite everything, you AMAZE me with your dedication and determination. Hang in there. I hope today has been a better day.

 

[AmyBeth68]

Hi Guys. Thanks a bunch for all the kind words, encouragement and well wishes. It means a lot. I'm still here....still not training....and trying to get healthy. I have been doing some yoga and pilates but I think I'm ready to try KBX again. Even if I can't really do it like the old days...maybe I'll build a little cardio endurance over the next few weeks. *shrug* Let's hope anyway .

I'll update again when I get a chance. Have a good weekend .

 

[kimwim8]

Big hugs to you, Amy. Thank you so much for the update. You're in my thoughts an prayers as always.

 

[traceycooper]

Sending lots to help a speedy recovery

 

[CJK]

I just wanted to drop in to let you know I'm thinking about you. I hope your recovery is going okay and that you had a great weekend!

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh Amy,

Sweetie, I am so sorry that you have been in so much pain. I'm glad that the doctors have been able to diagnose the problem and I hope that they find a way to fix it soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Amy, please do not doubt for one second that you are a runner.... You ARE a runner! What you have accomplished this year has so inspired me. You are dedicated to your sport and you have persevered through it all. You ARE a runner!

We are here for you, Amy. We are cheering you on to healing and to VICTORY!

,
Tracy

 

[ScoJo15]

Hey Amy -

Where are ya buddy?

I know that the injury has brought you down and I hope you are getting the appropriate amount of rest/attention to get it back to normal. I do miss your witty posts and words of encouragement. Hope you are on the road to recovery and will join us again soon.

Also, don't know what you are doing for the holiday but just wanted to wish you and yours a very safe and happy one!

Have a good day!