a summer message to parents: watch your children near water

[Gabrielsbigtrip]

My son has Autism and has absolutely NO FEAR of the water.

My sister-in-law asked to taked him to my brother-in-laws pool. I said yes but you really have to watch him. She laughed and said - I will. Then I specifically said "NO, you REALLY have to WATCH HIM" Do not take your eyes off him.

Well, it was time for them to get out and she took the swimmies off his arms, turned to put them in the tote and she heard "SPLASH". Yep, he jumped back in......she got him and he was fine. Now he is pretty much able to swim and was treading water at the beach where if you let him - he would try to swim to England!

When he was 1 1/2 my mother-in-law's pool actually popped. She has/had a huge inground pool. Well, we all pitched in to have it painted and during a record rain month she decided the muddy water was making too much of a mess and put the plugs back in while it was drained It looks like an earth quake hit now.

I often wonder if that happened as an actual Godsend. We lived with my in laws at that time and until he was about 5. The leading cause of death in children with Autism is drowning.

 

[bumbershoot]

When we have parties (we have a pool), we hire someone to sit and watch the pool. I don't announce that it is a lifeguard, because I don't want people to "check out", but I tell the 'guard' that I don't want any bodies at the pool at the end of the night.

That's a great idea!

I have to say something about floaties: don't use them. They are very unreliable, and children are often able to remove them without help. They give a false sense of security and IMO are really downright dangerous. Get a proper PFD (a vest) and use it at all times that you are not actually IN the water with all of your attention on that one child.

As a convert, YES. Just a bit over a month ago I thought "my brother and I had arm floaties, nothing ever happened, I'll get some for DS". OK, well, I'd read a big post about them and so I knew they weren't totally OK, but still, I got some.

DS was in my brother's pool, with me and my brother there with him. Only the 3 of us there, brother and I were watching DS and playing with him. Should have been so so safe! I actually can't remember what happened, but it had something to do with us not having "shorthand" yet for "I'm turning my back, you watch him", and we both managed to turn our backs at the same time, and in that short amount of time (both of us within 5 feet of DS! IN the water!) DS got into trouble while wearing his arm floaties. AUGH.

Oh man I felt so stupid. Next day we went to Target and bought one of those speedo vests, and it was SOOOOO much better. He'd actually been doing quite well figuring out how to swim with his floaties, but his arms were a bit impeded and he had to force himself mightily to get into a swimming position. Within half an hour having that vest on, he was using arms to swim AND he was doing so much better with leg-kicking, because he could actually get into a better swimming position.

OMG, I would have been in that water in a heart beat after your son!! Some people....

But would you have known HOW to save him in the riptide?

 

[surfergirl602]

That's a great idea!



As a convert, YES. Just a bit over a month ago I thought "my brother and I had arm floaties, nothing ever happened, I'll get some for DS". OK, well, I'd read a big post about them and so I knew they weren't totally OK, but still, I got some.

DS was in my brother's pool, with me and my brother there with him. Only the 3 of us there, brother and I were watching DS and playing with him. Should have been so so safe! I actually can't remember what happened, but it had something to do with us not having "shorthand" yet for "I'm turning my back, you watch him", and we both managed to turn our backs at the same time, and in that short amount of time (both of us within 5 feet of DS! IN the water!) DS got into trouble while wearing his arm floaties. AUGH.

Oh man I felt so stupid. Next day we went to Target and bought one of those speedo vests, and it was SOOOOO much better. He'd actually been doing quite well figuring out how to swim with his floaties, but his arms were a bit impeded and he had to force himself mightily to get into a swimming position. Within half an hour having that vest on, he was using arms to swim AND he was doing so much better with leg-kicking, because he could actually get into a better swimming position.



But would you have known HOW to save him in the riptide?

yes, actually, I do. That's why I said I would have been out there. (my username is surfergirl, after all...) What I meant was, that nowadays there aren't enough people that even care to help, even if they could. They just assume that someone else is going to do it!

 

[AZMermaid]

I used to be the director of a large private swim lesson program here in Phoenix. We had 200+ kids a day in lessons- most aged 3-6. Every year we would get parents of 8 year olds (usually boys for some reason) that had tried lessons when they were 3-4, cried the first time (like at least a third of the kids do) and the parents pulled them out. Now, at 8 they are invited to pool parties and things and can't swim at all and are terrified and embarrassed. So, they would come for lessons. But, they wouldn't want to be in a class with the 3 year olds, which is their level (We grouped by level, not age. Most in the beginner class were 3-4 years old). I would do my best to get those kids to come at the same time so I could group them together, but some parents just wouldn't/ couldn't cooperate. "Oh. There are other 7-8 year olds in the 6:00 class. Well, that is our dinner time. We want to come at 4:00. But he must not be in a class with the 3 year olds." It was very frustrating. Anyway, so the moral is, which I would tell the parents of the screaming 3 year old when they wanted to quit until he was ready, "Swim lessons are not soccer lessons. There is a real danger to quitting. Give it a week and I have never had a kid screaming after the 4th lesson, usually not after the 2nd one."

Oh, and I was the 9 year old adult in OP story! While my 7 YO sister was at swim team I was playing in the pool and my 1.5 year old sister was sitting on the steps. I was "watching" her while my mom watched us from the deck. Well, I swam away and my sister tried to follow me. My mom saw it happen, jumped up and started running. Another mom who was closer saw my mom and then my sister and jumped in first. She was under for maybe 10 seconds but my mom says it was the longest 10 seconds ever!

 

[surfergirl602]

I used to be the director of a large private swim lesson program here in Phoenix. We had 200+ kids a day in lessons- most aged 3-6. Every year we would get parents of 8 year olds (usually boys for some reason) that had tried lessons when they were 3-4, cried the first time (like at least a third of the kids do) and the parents pulled them out. Now, at 8 they are invited to pool parties and things and can't swim at all and are terrified and embarrassed. So, they would come for lessons. But, they wouldn't want to be in a class with the 3 year olds, which is their level (We grouped by level, not age. Most in the beginner class were 3-4 years old). I would do my best to get those kids to come at the same time so I could group them together, but some parents just wouldn't/ couldn't cooperate. "Oh. There are other 7-8 year olds in the 6:00 class. Well, that is our dinner time. We want to come at 4:00. But he must not be in a class with the 3 year olds." It was very frustrating. Anyway, so the moral is, which I would tell the parents of the screaming 3 year old when they wanted to quit until he was ready, "Swim lessons are not soccer lessons. There is a real danger to quitting. Give it a week and I have never had a kid screaming after the 4th lesson, usually not after the 2nd one."

Oh, and I was the 9 year old adult in OP story! While my 7 YO sister was at swim team I was playing in the pool and my 1.5 year old sister was sitting on the steps. I was "watching" her while my mom watched us from the deck. Well, I swam away and my sister tried to follow me. My mom saw it happen, jumped up and started running. Another mom who was closer saw my mom and then my sister and jumped in first. She was under for maybe 10 seconds but my mom says it was the longest 10 seconds ever!

I agree with the longest 10 seconds over! Some are saying I'm over reacting, but as the OP, and never having this happen to any of my children before, it truly was the longest 5 seconds of my life! I know she was and still is fine, but when you see that happen it just startles and shakes you up as a mom. My children weren't fortunate enough to have swimming lessons where we lived last, but this year they have been able to have instruction, and its been worth it!

 

[Schmeck]

Never, ever go out into a riptide unless you have your own personal flotation device and a separate one for the victim. If someone who wasn't a strong swimmer went out to save the kid with the boogie board caught in the riptide, the rescuer might have ended up swamping the kid and knicking him off the baord, causing the kid to go further out and possibly drown. Riptides are deadly, people drown in them every year up here where I live.

Best thing to do is swim perpendicular to the riptide (parallel to the shoreline), until you swim out of it, then head for shore.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

A three year old drowned yesterday nearby, in a backyard pool at a family party. No one noticed that he went in the water until it was too late.

 

[toesmom]

Now that summer is in full swing and people are going on vacation, heading to water parks, and swimming in the pools having fun, PLEASE do not be careless on water safety. Do not make the same mistake that I did today, by putting too much trust in my older children. Now, let me explain.

My two older children are my little helpers. They do everything to help me out, right down to mothering my two year old when I am busy and she needs something, like juice, a snack, someone to play with. They are the best big sisters in the world, and, at my own fault, I have put too much trust in them over the years. They are 9 and 6, but both act 18. I am not blaming them for anything that happened today, I fully blame myself. And I may be flamed for even posting this, but if I can help just one family, then by telling my scare will have been worth it.

We went to the pool today. We practiced our swimming. The two older girls wanted to go to the other end of the pool to go down the water slides. (the shallow end) My six year old asked if she could walk the two year old down the cement pathway of the pool and I agreed, telling her that she needed to wait for me by the chairs. (way away from the edge in the grass) In the 15 seconds that it took me to get the floaties and myself out of the pool, I heard that frantic, "Mommy!" and my two year old was in the water. I have never had so much fear and panic race through my body all at once. I could not run those 20 feet fast enough.

Thankfully, there was a man there on the edge that pulled my daughter from the water in about 6 seconds. She was absolutely fine.

Never have I felt like such a bad mother in my life. I haven't been able to stop crying, and I'm still shaken up about it. I watch my children like vultures. They aren't even allowed to play outside without me. My friends call me overprotective. I call myself cautious. S many children are taken, or hit by cars these days.

When I talked to my six year old about why she didn't listen to me (an ongoing problem), she didn't know why she didn't. And it brought me back to the realization that she's six. She's not a grown up, she's not a teenager, even though she acts like it. She's still a child herself. Why did I let her walk her down to the other side of the pool? Because I thought it would be perfectly fine. Later, she was crying and said that she was just so sorry about what happened and we had a very long talk about how I should have made her wait for me to get out, I wasn't mad at her because I am the mommy, I am the adult, and it was my fault, and I love her, etc. She said that she wanted to sit on the stairs because it was so hot, and thought that there were stairs on both sides of the railing (there aren't) and the baby's fingers were wet and slippery and she couldn't hold on to her when she stepped down. She went fully under. If that man (my angel) hadn't have been there, I can't even fathom what would have happened. The lifeguards didn't even notice, believe it or not.

So, everyone, lets use me as the perfect example of what NOT to do around those pools, even those zero entry pools. Don't work on that tan and assume that they are going to be okay because they have arm floaties on or are with their older sibling. In the split second of an eye, your life can be turned upside down. Water safety should be taught more these days, and even though my children are good in the water and know the rules, they are still kids, and they don't always think things though.

Don't ever think that it couldn't happen to me, because it did. It happened to me, and I almost lost the love of my life today, because I thought that ten seconds didn't matter. Ten little seconds, and my life could have been changed forever.

Please everyone, be careful, and always watch and be there for your children. It amazes me how many parents (and this is on a military post) let their children go to the pool by themselves. I've learned from this simple mistake, and I hope that some on here can as well.

So there's my life changing mistake.
Thanks for reading.

I'm very glad to hear that your little one was safe. This is a great lesson that should be applied not only around water.

Lots of parents leave little kids outside with older siblings. No big deal right? If anything should happen to the youngest, the siblings will probably always carry the guilt.

We've had tragedy in our family under these circumstances and I never ever leave my dd10 to take care of ds5 for more than a few minutes (and that's always in our house, never outside).

Just recently a young girl (8) was kidnapped and murdered after leaving school with a stranger. Her older brother (10) was supposed to walk her home. He didn't. I can't imagine the terrible guilt this poor child will carry all his life. And it's not his fault at all.

Thank you for posting. Older siblings should not take care of the younger ones unless in a strictly controlled environment, because anything can happen.

Enjoy the rest of your summer.

 

[Leajess99]

It's also a reason why everyone should learn infant and child CPR. I know it because of my job and it's reassuring to know.

I learned this with my first child and it was a blessing.

 

[stacy6552]

A few summers ago, my son was held underwater by a paniced child at SAB. The boy was too young to be in the whirl pool and I pulled him out of the pool and took him to a life guard. It turns out this boy was sent to the pool alone while his parents had lunch in one of the resturaunts.