a summer message to parents: watch your children near water

[surfergirl602]

Now that summer is in full swing and people are going on vacation, heading to water parks, and swimming in the pools having fun, PLEASE do not be careless on water safety. Do not make the same mistake that I did today, by putting too much trust in my older children. Now, let me explain.

My two older children are my little helpers. They do everything to help me out, right down to mothering my two year old when I am busy and she needs something, like juice, a snack, someone to play with. They are the best big sisters in the world, and, at my own fault, I have put too much trust in them over the years. They are 9 and 6, but both act 18. I am not blaming them for anything that happened today, I fully blame myself. And I may be flamed for even posting this, but if I can help just one family, then by telling my scare will have been worth it.

We went to the pool today. We practiced our swimming. The two older girls wanted to go to the other end of the pool to go down the water slides. (the shallow end) My six year old asked if she could walk the two year old down the cement pathway of the pool and I agreed, telling her that she needed to wait for me by the chairs. (way away from the edge in the grass) In the 15 seconds that it took me to get the floaties and myself out of the pool, I heard that frantic, "Mommy!" and my two year old was in the water. I have never had so much fear and panic race through my body all at once. I could not run those 20 feet fast enough.

Thankfully, there was a man there on the edge that pulled my daughter from the water in about 6 seconds. She was absolutely fine.

Never have I felt like such a bad mother in my life. I haven't been able to stop crying, and I'm still shaken up about it. I watch my children like vultures. They aren't even allowed to play outside without me. My friends call me overprotective. I call myself cautious. S many children are taken, or hit by cars these days.

When I talked to my six year old about why she didn't listen to me (an ongoing problem), she didn't know why she didn't. And it brought me back to the realization that she's six. She's not a grown up, she's not a teenager, even though she acts like it. She's still a child herself. Why did I let her walk her down to the other side of the pool? Because I thought it would be perfectly fine. Later, she was crying and said that she was just so sorry about what happened and we had a very long talk about how I should have made her wait for me to get out, I wasn't mad at her because I am the mommy, I am the adult, and it was my fault, and I love her, etc. She said that she wanted to sit on the stairs because it was so hot, and thought that there were stairs on both sides of the railing (there aren't) and the baby's fingers were wet and slippery and she couldn't hold on to her when she stepped down. She went fully under. If that man (my angel) hadn't have been there, I can't even fathom what would have happened. The lifeguards didn't even notice, believe it or not.

So, everyone, lets use me as the perfect example of what NOT to do around those pools, even those zero entry pools. Don't work on that tan and assume that they are going to be okay because they have arm floaties on or are with their older sibling. In the split second of an eye, your life can be turned upside down. Water safety should be taught more these days, and even though my children are good in the water and know the rules, they are still kids, and they don't always think things though.

Don't ever think that it couldn't happen to me, because it did. It happened to me, and I almost lost the love of my life today, because I thought that ten seconds didn't matter. Ten little seconds, and my life could have been changed forever.

Please everyone, be careful, and always watch and be there for your children. It amazes me how many parents (and this is on a military post) let their children go to the pool by themselves. I've learned from this simple mistake, and I hope that some on here can as well.

So there's my life changing mistake.
Thanks for reading.

 

[bellebuzzntink]

What a rough day for you! I've been in the same position - DD11 fell in the water when she was about 3, and her uncle jumped in, fully clothed, to pull her out. I think I cried for about an hour just thinking of what could have happened. This past 4th of July weekend my whole family was in the pool/poolside with all of the kids playing in the water. Despite all of the eyes, my 3yo niece stepped off one of the steps and got in over her head. It was only for a few seconds, but I wasn't the only one whose heart stopped until we knew she was okay. Don't beat yourself up. Lesson learned, and I'm sure you won't let it happen again. Glad to hear she is fine!

 

[BC Disney Lover]

Thank you for writing this very important reminder and I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I have an 8 yr old son who is a great help but I do sometimes forget he's just a kid and realize I may be putting to much on him with the little ones.
All of us go through those kind of moments as parents where we realize a split second and life could be changed forever.

Don't be too hard on yourself and have a great summer!

 

[Stacerita]

Thanks for posting this as a reminder. I work in a Children's Hospital and see accidents around water happen. Once is too many for me since most can be avoided. Incidents such as your's need to be put out there so everyone will take the necessary steps to insure their children are safe around water.

 

[surfergirl602]

Thanks for posting this as a reminder. I work in a Children's Hospital and see accidents around water happen. Once is too many for me since most can be avoided. Incidents such as your's need to be put out there so everyone will take the necessary steps to insure their children are safe around water.

And that's why I posted it. People need to know that it DOES happen. Even in a pool full of people, are you really watching everyone else? I am so grateful that that man was standing there to help. And I'll tell you, it never will happen again. (I'm a bit terrified of the pool now)

You'd think I'd be more careful since I nearly drowned when I was around 8, I got caught beneath a wooden dock and couldn't get out and panicked. My brother saved me. I've been leery and scared of water ever since, but I don't want my kids to pick up on that, because they really do follow your lead. I am a vegetarian, and when I fuss about meat, they tend to do it, too, and I want them to have their own beliefs, you know? Not just dislike something because mommy does. Anyway, I digress.....

 

[RMulieri]

Sorry you had such a bad day and an awful experience.I have definitely been there too. .I have a pool in my yard and a 5 yr old that is just learning to swim.Last summer there were 3 adults in the pool (including me)and my husband standing on the house deck.My 5 yr old ,In front of my very eyes, got in the pool.No swimmies,life jacket,etc.She sunk to the bottm.Not one of us noticed she was in the pool.My Dh who was watching from the house deck, had to jump in and get her.She was ok, but I felt awful and to this day punish myself.It is so easy to forget,get caught up in other things, and get complacent.I know now to be hyper-aware and double check to see who is near the water and who is watching whom.

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

It makes you stop and think, doesn't it. I know I did. I am so glad that everything turned out ok for you, and it makes you stop and think how life can be changed in a second.

 

[kevschickee]

I am so glad the baby is ok wow that must have been awful. People put so much responsibility on children its crazy(not you but people in general). You are right we have to remember that these are children not little adults.

 

[mjkacmom]

This has happened to all 5 of my kids. I actually had my first child go in the pool without floaties when she turned 3 - she kept telling me she didn't need them, because she could swim. After she sank, she never insisted again (she was swimming without them by 4). We were at the Y at family swim when ds, 3, had to go potty. I took off his floaties, and didn't put them on, because it was almost over. When I went to get dd out of the pool, the lifeguard jumped in to get him - he forgot he wasn't wearing them.

I've also been the person who jumped in the pool fully clothed to save a child. At the pool club, a mom went to put her stuff on a table while her kids were by the pool - first day. Her ds walked right in, and sank. Apparently, the previous summer, he was terrified of water, so she had no idea he'd go in.

Now, I'm not even close to overprotective - I think that just sets kids up for trouble later on. My ds11 spend yesterday biking around town with friends. However, when it comes to water safety, you can never be too careful. My kids get mandatory swim lessons starting at the age of 3, and continue until they know their strokes. My teen dd had friends over to swim yesterday - I was in the yard (and they are all strong swimmers).

 

[GoofyFairie]

Don't beat yourself up. Life happens to all us, no matter overprotective we are. Say a little thank you prayer and give all your kids a hug.

 

[3boymthr]

Yes, but what amazes me is how many people WON'T help. Last year we took the kids camping at the beach for a week. This was an unguarded beach and so while this was not a crowded beach there were probably 25 or 30 people on it. DS#2 got on his boogie board and went out into the water. DS#3 was next to me playing in the sand, running down to the water to get a bucketfull every so often. DH & DS#1 were off on a tour elsewhere. I was watching DS#2 play in the waves. I turned my head to check on DS#3, make sure he hadn't wandered off - 30 seconds MAX. In the amount if time it took for me to check on DS#3 DS#2 had been sucked into a riptide and was 1000 feet down the beach but luckily was still close to shore - over his head but not mine. He was Screaming and crying! He couldn't get free, was struggling, and kept getting further and further away. There were as I said at least 25 other people on the beach and at least 20 of them were gathered inbetween him and me. I went running after him and was able to get to him in time but not one other person moved to help some were within 50 feet of him. Very Very Scary. It was a BIG HUG moment when I finally got to him.

 

[bratmomma]

I am so sorry. Some of these stories are scary and I am SHOCKED what a selfish society we have become that people would stand idly and watch a child be carried away in a riptide. OMGOSH, that INFURIATES ME!

To the OP, please don't beat yourself up. Your DD is fine, thank God! Take this as a lesson learned. Please don't dwell on the woulda, coulda, shoulda's and the what if's. I had a similar incident happen and I tortured myself for YEARS over it (in fact I still have an occasional nightmare about it).

When my oldest DS was 3 he was sitting on the edge of my mom's 4ft above ground pool, at the ladder. He was wearing a life vest and there were 5 adults, and two teens all within sight of the pool. When I last checked on my son the two teens were in the pool and two of the adults were standing next to the pool. I guess somehow a water balloon fight started which made the teens jump out of the pool, over the sides (I was unaware as my back was to the pool). After God knows how long, DH turned to me in a panic and said "Where's DS?" At that point we all panicked and ran to the pool. My husband cleared the side, fulled clothed to retrieve my son who was floating in the middle of the pool face down. He was still conscious and breathing but choking and coughing up water. I will never forget the feeling of seeing that he was still alive. I remember collapsing with him in my arms next to the pool but I don't remember much after that. Seeing my baby boy floating face down in the pool and not knowing, even if only for a second and a half, whether or not he was still alive, was the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life. I can still close my eyes and see him floating. In fact just typing this out has brought me to tears again.

Now I am super attentive whenever we are near any water. Dh keeps talking about wanting to move somewhere closer to an inlet or on the water and I told him absolutely not until all the kids are at least teens and VERY good swimmers.

Please don't hate yourself, don't question what you could've done differently. Perhaps your lesson was learned BEFORE something tragic happened. I absolutely understand what you are feeling and hope that you are able to recover from the self doubt and second guessing faster than I did.

 

[daisyduck123]

I wanted to tell you that I do think it's a good thing that you posted your story. My children are older (14 & 11) but I'm sure that you "scared" plenty of moms of toddlers and that they will be extra vigilant around water with their children.

Btw, I checked out your blog....your three daughters are precious! I'm so glad the little one is fine.

 

[NotUrsula]

I am so sorry. Some of these stories are scary and I am SHOCKED what a selfish society we have become that people would stand idly and watch a child be carried away in a riptide. OMGOSH, that INFURIATES ME!

Don't be too quick to judge on this scenario. Lifeguards will tell you that they really prefer that swimmers inexperienced with open water NOT try to help when a rip current is involved, because the would-be rescuer almost always ends up becoming another victim. If the folks standing around were tourists and didn't know how to handle a rip current, then it is for the best that they didn't try to help. I was on a pier in Florida fishing with my son a few years ago, and I watched as three adult male bystanders tried to go after a 3 year old -- all of them ended up dead.

I have to say something about floaties: don't use them. They are very unreliable, and children are often able to remove them without help. They give a false sense of security and IMO are really downright dangerous. Get a proper PFD (a vest) and use it at all times that you are not actually IN the water with all of your attention on that one child. (I put DD2 in hers as soon as I get her out of her carseat, and she stays in it until we leave the pool area entirely, except if I am actively working on teaching her to swim.) With open water, the vest you use should always have a flotation collar until the child is at at least 4 years old, and for any child under 2 you should use a collared model in ANY body of water. (The collar will automatically turtle a small child; they instantly flip to their backs.)

 

[surfergirl602]

Yes, but what amazes me is how many people WON'T help. Last year we took the kids camping at the beach for a week. This was an unguarded beach and so while this was not a crowded beach there were probably 25 or 30 people on it. DS#2 got on his boogie board and went out into the water. DS#3 was next to me playing in the sand, running down to the water to get a bucketfull every so often. DH & DS#1 were off on a tour elsewhere. I was watching DS#2 play in the waves. I turned my head to check on DS#3, make sure he hadn't wandered off - 30 seconds MAX. In the amount if time it took for me to check on DS#3 DS#2 had been sucked into a riptide and was 1000 feet down the beach but luckily was still close to shore - over his head but not mine. He was Screaming and crying! He couldn't get free, was struggling, and kept getting further and further away. There were as I said at least 25 other people on the beach and at least 20 of them were gathered inbetween him and me. I went running after him and was able to get to him in time but not one other person moved to help some were within 50 feet of him. Very Very Scary. It was a BIG HUG moment when I finally got to him.

OMG, I would have been in that water in a heart beat after your son!! Some people....

 

[surfergirl602]

I wanted to tell you that I do think it's a good thing that you posted your story. My children are older (14 & 11) but I'm sure that you "scared" plenty of moms of toddlers and that they will be extra vigilant around water with their children.

Btw, I checked out your blog....your three daughters are precious! I'm so glad the little one is fine.

Aww! Thanks!

 

[dyna]

I never could believe how neglectfull parents was with their little ones around water. One summer when I still had to use the public pool to swim there was a mom who brought in her not yet walking baby with a walker every day the walker was set in the baby pool (it was more than a foot deep at the shallow end) the baby was put in the walker mom would go lay on her lounge chair and sleep. I expected that baby to flip that walker over any second an be under water.

When mine was little until I knew they could swim well they wore life jackets unless I was in the pool with them. I had 1 my DD#2 who was going off the high dive at 3 yrs old but EVERY DAY before going to the deep end of pool to dive she had to show me she could swim across the pool it was a HUGE pool but the rule with the life guards before going to diving boards was swim across pool 1 time with them watching.

I made mine swim across pool every day before going to diving boards till they was like 7 an 8 yrs old. When they was preschoolers I also had other rules I had to go with them an watch them go off diving board an their could not be more than 3 others at the diving boards with them which made a total of 5 for the lifeguard to watch.

Believe me there was times when my 3 yr old landed wrong off the high dive an the guard wanted to go in after her. Guard was told as long as she isn't face down don't go LET HER DO IT ON HER OWN IF SHE CAN! Believe me had we actually saw she was in trouble the guard an both parents would have been in that pool.

My youngest was almost 3 when we got our own 4ft deep pool my older ones was 13 an 14 yrs old an while they helped with their baby sis an baby sat her frequently I did not allow them to take baby sis in pool even with a life jacket on unless dad or I could be in the pool too. It wasn't that I did not trust them it was I did not want them to have the responsibilty of thinking they did not watch sis close enough an anything happening to baby sis an my older DD's having to live with that.

Until DD #3 could stand flat footed with head out of water in pool she had to wear life jacket even when I was in pool if I was just going to float on my float. I usually timed it 15 mins on float an 15 mins off playin an workin on swimming skills. Even with the lifejacket on if I had to get out of pool to go potty DD got out an went with me.

The gbabies are now 2 an 3.6 yrs old I can tell they not mine neither one likes to go under water yet even if being held onto. They been babied in the water to much lol Mine learned to swim by diving for pennys an I got to keep the pennys at the end of the day used the same 10 pennys all summer LOL The gsons not interested in diving for anything. The 2 yr old still wants to be held the whole time he in pool.Not a bad thing just tiring Doesn't want to stay in pool long . 3 yr old he's all over the pool in his life jacket loves chasin after his balls an toys. He never ready to get out of pool.

Kids an Gkids alike has all fell in at some point we all lived to tell about it. Not saying don't be careful..... I sayin BE AWARE!!!!

 

[mjkacmom]

Don't be too quick to judge on this scenario. Lifeguards will tell you that they really prefer that swimmers inexperienced with open water NOT try to help when a rip current is involved, because the would-be rescuer almost always ends up becoming another victim. If the folks standing around were tourists and didn't know how to handle a rip current, then it is for the best that they didn't try to help. I was on a pier in Florida fishing with my son a few years ago, and I watched as three adult male bystanders tried to go after a 3 year old -- all of them ended up dead.

I have to say something about floaties: don't use them. They are very unreliable, and children are often able to remove them without help. They give a false sense of security and IMO are really downright dangerous. Get a proper PFD (a vest) and use it at all times that you are not actually IN the water with all of your attention on that one child. (I put DD2 in hers as soon as I get her out of her carseat, and she stays in it until we leave the pool area entirely, except if I am actively working on teaching her to swim.) With open water, the vest you use should always have a flotation collar until the child is at at least 4 years old, and for any child under 2 you should use a collared model in ANY body of water. (The collar will automatically turtle a small child; they instantly flip to their backs.)

I agree - jumping into a riptide is totally different than jumping in a pool. If you don't know what you are doing, you're not going to be much help. Every time we go to the beach, I tell my kids what to do if this happens, and I refuse to go to unguarded beaches.

 

[mommyceratops]

Scary! My 2DS are just learning how to swim after being afraid of water, I am a nervous wreck the whole time they are in the pool!

 

[RMulieri]

Unfortunately even kids that are good swimmers still need to be supervised.We recently had 9 yr old drown at a local pool and she was an excellent swimmer.Open water is always dangerous.Riptides in the ocean are not something to mess with and I have seen grown adults get into trouble and not be able to get back in.