Do You Consider Yourself a Feminist?

Do You Consider Yourself a Feminist?

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Nowhere in our vows does it say that I give my freedom to my husband. We also omitted any reference to "obey" or "till death do us part" in our vows. As I said, has worked for us for 36 years, soon to be 37.

My body, my choices. We respect each other enough that we trust each other's judgement to make the right decisions for ourselves. I don't need anyone to give me permission for anything. I am my own boss, make my own decisions. For better or worse and all that.

You obviously have a different definition for your marriage. Which is absolutely your right. But don't try to push your definition on my very successful marriage. My marriage would not be successful if I thought I needed "permission" from a spouse to do anything. Discussion yes, input absolutely and would be taken into serious consideration and probably listened to, but permission? Absolutely not.

I am in lockstep with you on ethis. My DH and I have been together almost 40 years and married almost 28. My DH has never once tried to tell me what ot do with my own health other than to get pretty upset if I miss routine exams. I hate dr's and have been known to skip them, which makes him worry. Other than that he respects the fact that I am my own person, just as he is.

The woman who needs her husband's permission for a medical procedure is likely the same one who will never get it.
 
Anyone here from Alabama? If so, you probably know the name Terri Collins. I spent time in her home a few weeks ago and all this was discussed. She and I do NOT agree on the issue. :(


thats cool, how do you know her ?
 
Still waiting to hear from dish rag or LuvsJack how you can reconcile a "pro-life" stance with supporting a policy that increases abortions ..... ???

Why do you want to argue something that was blocked by a federal judge? What exactly is the point?

There was more to it than just stopping funding from clinics like planned parenthood. But it doesn’t stand so why discuss it?
 
I want to give a shout out to the Mods who are letting this thread stay open. There had been debate, but it’s been respectful and not devolved into an insult thread.

Also a shout out to the posters in this thread. There are many opinions and I feel like they are being respected, even if it’s not one you believe.
 
Because it's not about decreasing the total number of abortions. It's about controlling women and punishing them and making them "take responsibility" for their actions.

No woman wants to believe they could ever have an unwanted pregancy, so women in that situation must have done something "wrong", otherwise it could happen to anyone, including themselves.

Really? And you would be wrong. I got pregnant at 17. Unplanned, unwanted. Very much a blessing, who is now my 37 year old son who I love more than life itself. But you have alllllll the answers right? At just over 18 I sat in my hospital bed with a tiny baby that I didn’t have a clue how to take care of and cried. But you know what? I learned and we grew together and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

It’s not about controlling women. Or punishing anyone. That is that self absorbed opinion of the pro choice. It’s not about the woman at all. It’s about a life. A tiny baby that has no voice, no choice. That didn’t ask to be conceived.
 
I am in lockstep with you on ethis. My DH and I have been together almost 40 years and married almost 28. My DH has never once tried to tell me what ot do with my own health other than to get pretty upset if I miss routine exams. I hate dr's and have been known to skip them, which makes him worry. Other than that he respects the fact that I am my own person, just as he is.

The woman who needs her husband's permission for a medical procedure is likely the same one who will never get it.

Dh would never tell me what I can and can’t do about anything. I won’t speak for the pp but for me, it’s not about permission. It’s that it’s something that changes his life too.

There is a world of difference between informing your life partner about something that effects them as well as you and asking for their permission.
 
Dh would never tell me what I can and can’t do about anything. I won’t speak for the pp but for me, it’s not about permission. It’s that it’s something that changes his life too.

There is a world of difference between informing your life partner about something that effects them as well as you and asking for their permission.

I believe you, like I am, are in a good marriage w/ mutual trust & respect & love from both partners.

But what about the woman who finds herself in a not-so-good marriage w/ an abusive husband or a controlling husband or a narcissistic husband or a husband that does NOT have his wife's best interests in mind - the kind of marriage that does a woman more harm (emotional, physical, etc.) than good?

What about that woman?

You can't assume everyone is in a good marriage; you can't assume that every woman is partnered w/ a decent partner.

So you have to have write the laws in ways that protect all the women.
 
Be cause so often those in the supposed pro life group dont want sex education in schools, they dont want birth control.readily and easily available, including the morning after pill.
Then after the baby is born they arent intrested any sort of financial or other support to help them survive (including regulating workplaces)

Really it comes down to-if you believe abortions are wrong, then don't have one. But it isnt any of your business if I do.

I have never spoken to anyone that is pro life that felt that way about sex Ed or birth control. Or that don’t care about children and families. Ever.

I googled and found that you are actually wrong. Most pro life people do think birth control should be easy to get. I am sure that’s not what certain organizations will tell you. And politicians aside, as they rarely get anything right anyway; every day normal people that believe abortion is wrong, do know that there has to be something to counteract it and birth control is that.

Most people (again NOT politicians) realize that government assistance is necessary. And the number one place it’s necessary is for women and children.

Do people resent what they perceive to be people taking advantage of the system? Yes. But that doesn’t mean they think the system shouldn’t be there. That doesn’t mean they think that children should go without.
 
I believe you, like I am, are in a good marriage w/ mutual trust & respect & love from both partners.

But what about the woman who finds herself in a not-so-good marriage w/ an abusive husband or a controlling husband or a narcissistic husband or a husband that does NOT have his wife's best interests in mind - the kind of marriage that does a woman more harm (emotional, physical, etc.) than good?

What about that woman?

You can't assume everyone is in a good marriage; you can't assume that every woman is partnered w/ a decent partner.

So you have to have write the laws in ways that protect all the women.

So no man should get a voice in any of it because of a few bad apples? That doesn’t sound like equality. There are men that are married to women like you describe. What about him?

And sadly that is the way most argue these laws and policies. The father or husband gets no voice.
 
  1. So no man should get a voice in any of it because of a few bad apples? That doesn’t sound like equality. There are men that are married to women like you describe. What about him?

    And sadly that is the way most argue these laws and policies. The father or husband gets no voice.
    This is not true. All of these posters have included reciprocity. They have stated the husband should not be able to dictate medical procedures for the wife nor should the wife dictate for the husband.

    You support government regulation and intercession into very personal areas of life. Adults can make these decisions without calling a lawyer or reading daily if new legislation has changed the relative rights of husbands or wives.

    The wife says to the husband-I need to call the lawyer this morning before going to the Ob Gyn this afternoon. Can you conference in about 10 am and help me get the state and federal paperwork in place to protect both of us from violation of state or federal statutes before my examination. What do you think-maybe best to take the lawyer and two independent medical consultants with me to the exam? My cycle is late and I didn’t report it to the police so very stressed right now.

    Conservative used to apply to a person that was suspicious of large government but has morphed now to apply only to social conservatives that want legislation dictating much of private life and decision making. (Is this position allowed? I don’t know let’s call the lawyer and check. In case of divorce both of us need protection from criminal charges by a vengeful spouse). It’s not Sharia law in extent but similarities in intent. How horrified these legislators would be when compared to Imams passing Sharia laws.
 
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I googled and found that you are actually wrong. Most pro life people do think birth control should be easy to get
I googled and found this statement to be inaccurate https://www.americanprogress.org/is...hoice-advocates-redefine-limit-contraception/ If pro-life supporters are birth control supporters, get them away from Planned Parenthood. Have them contact their legislators.

The wife says to the husband-I need to call...
Different day, husband says nothing out of the ordinary to his wife, keeps scheduled appointment with urologist, refrains from sexual activity for the recommended period. Oh. Pays 600% to 750% less than a tubal ligation would cost. https://thedoctorweighsin.com/13-reasons-why-vasectomy-is-a-better-choice-for-men-and-women/
 
I googled and found this statement to be inaccurate https://www.americanprogress.org/is...hoice-advocates-redefine-limit-contraception/ If pro-life supporters are birth control supporters, get them away from Planned Parenthood. Have them contact their legislators.


Different day, husband says nothing out of the ordinary to his wife, keeps scheduled appointment with urologist, refrains from sexual activity for the recommended period. Oh. Pays 600% to 750% less than a tubal ligation would cost. https://thedoctorweighsin.com/13-reasons-why-vasectomy-is-a-better-choice-for-men-and-women/
The husband said nothing in my post so not sure what you are driving at. I said nothing at all about a ligation nor a vasectomy. Do you mean there should be a law prohibiting tubal ligation? Vasectomy in no way guarantees a wife will never in her life be pregnant again but only that she is very unlikely to be pregnant by him.

In ancient times apparently under Sharia law if a third party killed a fetus then he paid to the husband a healthy male slave or female slave as blood money.
 
Really? And you would be wrong. I got pregnant at 17. Unplanned, unwanted. Very much a blessing, who is now my 37 year old son who I love more than life itself. But you have alllllll the answers right? At just over 18 I sat in my hospital bed with a tiny baby that I didn’t have a clue how to take care of and cried. But you know what? I learned and we grew together and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

It’s not about controlling women. Or punishing anyone. That is that self absorbed opinion of the pro choice. It’s not about the woman at all. It’s about a life. A tiny baby that has no voice, no choice. That didn’t ask to be conceived.

I am glad you were able to make the decision that was best for you.
 
Still waiting to hear from dish rag or LuvsJack how you can reconcile a "pro-life" stance with supporting a policy that increases abortions ..... ???

Why do you want to argue something that was blocked by a federal judge? What exactly is the point?

There was more to it than just stopping funding from clinics like planned parenthood. But it doesn’t stand so why discuss it?

No, the gag rule is alive and well, not blocked by a federal judge, reinstated on January 23, 2017 and has stood since then. I think you are thinking of the attempted "domestic gag rule" and I am referring to the one that's been around much longer - the "global gag rule" aka the "Mexico City Policy." Studies show this policy actually increases abortions.

My point is I want to understand why people who insist they're "pro-life" support things like this that actually have the opposite effect of what they claim to want.
 
I always say I am pro choice BEFORE pregnancy. Flame away...
After 46 years, I’ve heard it all. But it’s funny, I don’t believe in legal restrictions except in the most extreme cases of infanticide being proposed lately in places like NY and VA. I believe in changing hearts.

But when the woman had no choice about becoming pregnant? Should every female who has her period be on birth control in case she gets raped?

The answer for me is very nuanced.

I consider myself to be a #NastyGentleman -- I tell it like it is. :flower1::butterfly

If we're talking about the definition of "classical feminism" -- yes, I support systemic reforms so that women attain equality with men in areas such as the workplace, our nation's courtrooms, medical access, etc.

However, I don't subscribe to the third-wave-esque mindsets of "neofeminism" -- which is essentially a trendy doctrine of "female exceptionalism." It is a supposition that women "in general" have superior judgment and skill level compared to men in most areas of life, and, for that reason, males should be deferential to females in a majority of cases. This warped worldview is harbored, for example, by many of the women on The Talk (and, to a lesser extent, some of the women on The View). It's the type of mentality that frames #MeToo from a gynocentric perspective, such as Minnie Driver's comments from two years ago.

One example of how the concept of "feminism" gets warped: last season, on Shahs of Sunset, M.J. Javid bragged about how -- in her prenuptial agreement -- she'd convinced her then-fiance to agree to a contract where she would be entitled to half of his property if they divorced, but he would be entitled to 0% of her property if they divorced. She then proceeded to refer to this arrangement, on-camera, as a "feminist" principle. :rolleyes2

However, it isn't just high-profile female celebrities who vapidly absorb such dogma. I see/hear it oozing from girls/women outside of the public sphere in everyday life. And if you call them out on it, you get accused of "mansplaining" (or, if you're a female calling out another female on it, you get accused of being a "self-loathing" gender-traitor).

So, in other words: some people would call me a "feminist" while others would call me a "misogynist."

I self-identify as NEITHER.

You watch some very whacked TV. Maybe step back from the faux-reality stuff? Head down to some women's shelters, free health clinics and see what it's really like? I've seen some horrid situations at our local women's/family shelter, and the nurse at our school is very busy with teen health/sex issues.
 
I am nor sure why anyone is harping on persoal anecdotes about dying giving birth. Especially on a website that is dedicatd to spending a lot of money on vacations. I imagine the better the medical care you receive, the less likely you are going to die in childbirth. Though that is just a guess on my part.

Anyway, all of this is beside the point. You either think it's murder or you don't. The middle ground is all about what to do in a country where there are people who think it's a capital crime (presumably punishable by death) and those who don't think it's a crime at all. Not one bit.

I believe we should all work together to support the reduction of unwanted pregnancies, and that is with an emphasis on sex education. I think Roe v Wade was decided correctly, and it was not a decision made alone or quickly. There was a series of decisions over a long period of time that lead to Roe, including Griswold v Connecticut. Once you get to Griswold, Roe was only a matter of time.

Antonin Scalia famously said once, when asked about the 9th Amendment, that he didn't know anything about it because they didn't study it in law school. Yeah, that sounds about right.
 
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