As always, we are only noticed when something is not perfect
Then you’ll never go unnoticed.
(It is still a given though that you can only do so much at a time and then only what’s been authorized and more importantly… funded)
Get ready for much more crap in the rest of the TR!
It’s what we live for…
Apparently.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
Exactly…
I may be slow, but I try to always finish what I started!
That makes me a bit of a failure then.
Nothing new about that assessment either.
Actually, as long as Julie is teaching full-time, we're stuck with the summer travel. They seem to frown upon teachers using vacation days.
Can’t imagine why…
(especially given that teachers are generally seen as punching bags for a plethora of ills)
We're not quite that dumb. But how about showing up 3 weeks after said "Land" opened?
Like you said…
You still be smarter than I.
I don’t know…
I think we all know the answer to that question.
Parenthood?
Try 7 days of PB&J and see if you still feel that way.
I’ve seen the pictures.
Worth it!
(besides, I’m not allowed to eat anything good right now anyway)
Montana warrants further study. The other two...
Pretty sure that Showmen's Rest in Hugo, Oklahoma would be a must do…
As for Iowa, I imagine there’s a corn field or two that may need investigating.
I like to think there are some rather stellar examples of men out there, too. I'm just not one of them.
Me neither…
And I haven’t seen much evidence that anyone else is making much of an effort on that account.
Well...we're not that way all the time.
But can this assertion be proven?
Oh, it's long gone. I don't even remember what that was like.
I’ve read stories about it, but I think those are just fiction.
Or maybe fantasy.
I'd ask you about it, but not if speaking about it out loud would produce said jinx.
Potential multiple plans, but much else has to fall in place first.
Much…
Not all the time. Mostly for storm events.
Beats my 0% of the time…
I’ve also seen only one COLA in thirteen years (with no raises at all).
Can you beat that one?
L'Chaim
Oh look!
A bright, shiny new chapter that I haven’t assaulted yet…
Chapter 1: Its 970 Miles To Disney World, We Got A Full Tank of Gas, No Cigarettes, It's Dark...And We're Wearing Sunglasses.
Hit it!
It's hard enough planning a Disney trip for your own family. Planning for 13 people is a whole new level.
Of pain and suffering.
I was told by my extended family that I could take the lead since I knew the ropes, and they would just follow our lead, by which they meant they would ignore my suggestions altogether.
Sounds about right.
Pretty much how all folks with experience and learning on a given subject are treated now-a-days.
My brother told me he didn't want to plan every single meal in advance and he'd try and walk up at the spur of the moment when they were in the parks. I told him to enjoy Cosmic Ray's.
Now, let’s be fair here.
That plan will also work at the Golden Oak
(assuming it’s open at the time)
My brother told me he didn't want to bother setting times for rides, anyway. He said he could just wing it when he was down there. I told him to enjoy the Country Bear Jamboree.
And Figment; don’t forget about Figment.
The D.C. Beltway at rush hour moves at roughly the same speed as my boys when Julie asks them to empty the dishwasher.
The same goes for getting young’ens to even put dirty stuff in the dishwasher.
The sink is nearly 22 inches closer and doesn’t require one to actually open a door.
If it was any slower, it would be moving backwards.
Or fossilizing…
If I'm going to be spending my kids' college money, I want to wring every last bit of value out of that money as I can.
And they’ll agree with this completely.
(for now…)
Then we started thinking some more (dangerous, I know).
Well, this is true for one of you at least.
If we left at 3:00 a.m., we could make the entire 15-hour, 970-mile drive in one day. It's so crazy...it just might work!
Then we started thinking some more
No!!!! Stop!!!
This could cause a tear in the cosmic fabric of time and space!
I'm 43 years old. Things hurt for no reason.
Add thirteen more years and consider the possibilities…
This seemed like a bad idea for my family's safety.
Such an odd concept…
We got dinner at a Denny's just south of Fredericksburg, mostly because they were offering Super Slam breakfasts for $5.99. Hard to beat breakfast for dinner.
Breakfast makes one of the best dinner options known.
Denny’s however…
(a little bit like choosing Lifebouy over Palmolive)
We stopped for the night in Petersburg, VA at a Country Inn.
I’m sure that worked well, but let me say this about that…
Never… ever… ever… stop in Petersburg without already having a confirmed reservation at a motel with an acceptable level of quality.
Just don’t…
You might think that's hyperbole, but it's not. We Philadelphia-area residents take our Wawa seriously.
Articles have been written about our devotion.
They have those down this way as well…
They’re just call: Quick Trip
It's like Canadians with Tim Horton's. Or so I hear.
Hard not to have heard about that one…
Can’t prove nor disprove it though.
I'm happy to say we achieved our biggest goal: getting through North and South Carolina by lunchtime. Apologies to those of you who live in the Carolinas, but if you look up "mind-numbing" in the dictionary, it shows you a poster for
The English Patient.
True story…
But then right next to that is a picture of I-95 through North and South Carolina.
Also a true story.
I live here, and although we have a long history of picking fights (and usually on the wrong side of a given issue at that), I’ll whole heartedly agree with this assessment.
(excluding a couple of stellar BBQ joints that are just a short detour off of the road, of course.)
When this qualifies as the only recognizable landmark, you have a serious problem:
By the way, don't ever stop there. Trust me on this.
Like I said, we live here…
we’re smart enough to know better.
We even stopped at a Wendy's for lunch, so at that point life was really testing our will to live.
PBJ would likely have been better.
I’ve always suspected that building was actually the inspiration for it.
At that point on I-4, we started getting traffic reports on Google Maps that indicated Orlando was a parking lot. In other news, water is wet.
Water… Wet!
Good Lord, that’s a catastrophe! All our science is based on lies!
What’ll we do!!!!
We trusted Google with our lives and took FL 414 to FL 429. It worked like gangbusters
Interesting…
Only about 4 miles more and no parking lot.
Question, though:
How much was the Toll at each station and how many toll stations did you have to stop at along the way?
By this time, the anticipation was so palpable that the kids actually turned off their electronics.
And in other news, the Loch Ness Monster has agreed to pose for a full
National Geographic photo spread.
Yeah, I ain’t buying it…
You got’s proof of this
I can't prove it, but I do feel like you can feel an actual weight lift off of your shoulders when you pass through those gates.
Now that…
That I believe.
Not much else though.
The first thing you do when you walk into a Disney Resort lobby is stop and inhale. It has that Disney Resort Smell®.
Ok, ok…
I’ll believe that one too.
We'd never gotten a text that our room was ready, so I had to go to the front desk to check in. When I'd made the reservation, I'd requested a room in buildings 8A, 8B, or 9A. I figured it was close to the main pool, the front desk, and the last bus stop on the loop.
We were assigned a room in 7A.
It was worth a shot…
Nearly all of our trips have included stays in the single farthest point form every amenity.
Between that fact and the rising cost of staying on site, we may not be spending near as much time in the bubble in the future. Could change my mind, but I’ve got’s me doubts.
As it turned out, Drew noticed this one and turned out to be incredibly adept at finding Hidden Mickeys throughout the parks. I feel like this means we're doing something right as parents.
A parenting win if ever I’ve heard one.
They must have known we were coming, since they brought out the jack--uh, they had the gift shop open for us.
It’s like they’re psychic or something!
I figured when in an Artificial Recreation of Generic Mexican And Southwest Culture, I should get an artificial recreation of Mexican cuisine.
Obviously…
Proper etiquette would dictate such.
Sarah and I let Julie have the refried beans to herself, since we feel they have the appearance, texture, smell, and consistency of poo.
More for Julie.
We managed to convince the cast member to put the beef for the tacos on top of the nachos as well, so that was a win.
Toco Bell is currently taking notes.
Like I said, refined palates.
Unquestionable judges of haute cuisine, you are.
The kids and I spent the majority of our time riding the waterslide.
About halfway down there's a figure of a jaguar perched over the slide like he's about to pounce. But he's just vomiting water on you as you slide.
Wow, just like in real life.
Those Disney blokes got this stuff down to a science, don’t they?
We even got Drew to go down the slide, which was a good omen for attempting the rides later in the week. However, after the second run, he went underwater for a moment at the end, and then he decided he didn't want to slide anymore. So that was less positive as an omen.
Foreshadowing…
Another integral part of the TR writing process.
Such a wealth of knowledge and information…
(must mean that we need to ignore you)
Anyway, we had a blast at the pool.
Didn’t they confiscate the explosives when you checked in?
They’re security is slipping a mite.
We had a whole week at Disney World ahead of us. The real world was just a distant memory.
And that is why we foolishly and willing empty the savings accounts and spend the college funds.
‘Cause we’re stupid.