disneyeveryyear
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2003
@rodeo65, I have been following your story and am heartbroken for you.
Two years ago my mother wasn't feeling well and went to her primary care physician. He felt a mass on her liver and sent her for an x-ray (I think). Five weeks later she was gone, the last two weeks of which were spent in the hospital. She was admitted due to a UTI with extremely low blood pressure. The biopsy showed her liver cancer to be primary, so I can understand the whirlwind of emotions that comes with such a quick diagnosis and speedy decline.
After her kidneys failed, and her nephrologist told her that due to her extremely low blood pressure, she was at risk of a MI or stroke with initial dialysis, she chose on Saturday not to do dialysis. By Sunday night she had slipped into a non-responsive state and we lost her on Tuesday. Sunday night she lapsed into pain and I threw a huge hissy fit at the nurse's station because she had an incompetent nurse who wasn't getting meds to her in a timely fashion. I told them the only thing we had asked for was a peaceful, pain-fee passing. Ultimately the charge nurse took over her care and got a morphine drip brought in and it took a few hours, but her pain was finally controlled. Of course, she then was totally unresponsive. Due to her unstable condition, she was never moved to hospice, but in a sense was in hospice care in the hospital.
I understand some of the pain, but can't compare the loss of a parent to the loss of a spouse.
I know your DH probably doesn't want the kids to remember him this way, but if they want to see him, then I think they should be allowed to be there as much as possible. I think the not-knowing can be worse than knowing.
Please know that I am praying for your husband, you and your children.
Two years ago my mother wasn't feeling well and went to her primary care physician. He felt a mass on her liver and sent her for an x-ray (I think). Five weeks later she was gone, the last two weeks of which were spent in the hospital. She was admitted due to a UTI with extremely low blood pressure. The biopsy showed her liver cancer to be primary, so I can understand the whirlwind of emotions that comes with such a quick diagnosis and speedy decline.
After her kidneys failed, and her nephrologist told her that due to her extremely low blood pressure, she was at risk of a MI or stroke with initial dialysis, she chose on Saturday not to do dialysis. By Sunday night she had slipped into a non-responsive state and we lost her on Tuesday. Sunday night she lapsed into pain and I threw a huge hissy fit at the nurse's station because she had an incompetent nurse who wasn't getting meds to her in a timely fashion. I told them the only thing we had asked for was a peaceful, pain-fee passing. Ultimately the charge nurse took over her care and got a morphine drip brought in and it took a few hours, but her pain was finally controlled. Of course, she then was totally unresponsive. Due to her unstable condition, she was never moved to hospice, but in a sense was in hospice care in the hospital.
I understand some of the pain, but can't compare the loss of a parent to the loss of a spouse.
I know your DH probably doesn't want the kids to remember him this way, but if they want to see him, then I think they should be allowed to be there as much as possible. I think the not-knowing can be worse than knowing.
Please know that I am praying for your husband, you and your children.
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