Moms with boys, bathroom question

[maxiesmom]

How many 6 year old boys are running around peeking in stalls and why would that bother to anymore than a strange little girl liking in your stall. In several decades of using the restroom at a large variety of places I have never once had a child put his or her eye up to the crack in the door. Please people be realistic!

We are being realistic. Just because it hasn't happened to you that doesn't make it an urban myth. I've had it happen. I've actually had a child slide under from the stall next door! So while I know some kids will peek no matter what, I'm still up for the adult taking the child in the stall with them. At least that limits the number of people they can peek at to the stalls next to theirs.

I wonder how long ago you were a young girl with your period. Reason doesn't have much to do with how awkward you feel.

 

[Mom2six]

We are being realistic. Just because it hasn't happened to you that doesn't make it an urban myth. I've had it happen. I've actually had a child slide under from the stall next door! So while I know some kids will peek no matter what, I'm still up for the adult taking the child in the stall with them. At least that limits the number of people they can peek at to the stalls next to theirs.

I wonder how long ago you were a young girl with your period. Reason doesn't have much to do with how awkward you feel.

You are funny! Apparently we have hoards of peeping tom 6 year olds and wild sliding children everywhere at Disney! Really was it a little boy in the women's room who popped unexpectedly into your stall? He could not have been too old to go sliding from one to the other.

Are you saying that all parents should take all their little ones in the stall, or are you saying that it is okay for a strange little girl to watch you pee? I'm still unsure of where you all are coming from? I personally think it is disgusting and sick to see a difference between a 6 year old boy and a 6 year old girl. Some people may need counseling!

You don't think that young girl with her period feels awkward anyway? If it is such awkward embarrassment to the point that 6 and 7 year olds poise a threat then her mother needs to talk to her some more about it. A lot of times these negative body images and feelings of shame and embarrassment about natural functions of growing older stem from not being guided enough. I have daughters. 3 of whom are teenagers. And they did not feel this extensive sense of shame about having their period. However, I do admit that they knew how to deal with their periods prior to going to a large public place! And I would discuss any issues with them before going off to a different stall. If they were this worried about it, I would have taken them to the companion bathroom where strange children wouldn't be watching them in the stall.

Not saying that any little kids should be peeking at people in the bathroom! I am saying I seriously doubt it truly happens on a regular basis, and perhaps some people are way too paranoid. Honestly, most people are not paying attention to you or watching you use the bathroom. Are you and your kids peeking at people?

For the record, I do think 8 and 9 year old boys who are typical children do not need to come into the women's room unless there is a problem (like someone lurking around suspiciously!) I also always took my young children into the stall with me unless my oldest daughter was holding their hand. And yes, if someone tried to kidnap them while I was in the stall, I certainly would have run out of that stall and not worried one bit about what anyone thought of it!

I'm sure you and your daughters will have a wonderful trip even if a few kindergarten, 1st or 2nd grade boys are in the bathroom! Have a lovely day.

 

[Mom2six]

But you are saying the same thing, that your girls needs are more important and too bad, so sad if someone has a concern for their sons.
That being said, I just want to say I completely understand giving girls their privacy when at all possible. I have DS(7) autism spectrum, DS(5) and DS(3) and I always try to use "family" restrooms first if DH is not with me. If they come in with me, honestly, they are in the stall longer than I am anyway. There are times, however, when someone has to go quickly and there is no way we would make it to one however, or there just is not one available. On top of that my 7 year old on the autism spectrum does not appear to have any special needs and is tall for his age, so I am starting to feel somewhat uncomfortable. However. DS7 has very high anxiety and I am not sure if he will ready yet to go in by himself by the time we go to WDW. I am hoping that my 5 year old will be ready enough and talk him into it...and I'd feel better with both of them having a buddy. I am also going to try the whistle idea someone brought up.

Please do not send your DS7 with autism and high anxiety into a different restroom. No one, even here on the DIS, has suggested that child with special needs should be made to actually suffer to prevent a few moments of embarrassment. My DS5 will in no way be ready to go off to the men's room when he is 7. Heck, if he pees in the potty while we are there in Sept, I will be jumping up and down with happiness.

But perhaps having two brothers with autism is why my teenage girls never cringe with embarrassment about anything. They have had to deal with people actually staring often enough that they don't even think about someone possible peeking at them anymore.

 

[Gracie09]

But you are saying the same thing, that your girls needs are more important and too bad, so sad if someone has a concern for their sons.
That being said, I just want to say I completely understand giving girls their privacy when at all possible. I have DS(7) autism spectrum, DS(5) and DS(3) and I always try to use "family" restrooms first if DH is not with me. If they come in with me, honestly, they are in the stall longer than I am anyway. There are times, however, when someone has to go quickly and there is no way we would make it to one however, or there just is not one available. On top of that my 7 year old on the autism spectrum does not appear to have any special needs and is tall for his age, so I am starting to feel somewhat uncomfortable. However. DS7 has very high anxiety and I am not sure if he will ready yet to go in by himself by the time we go to WDW. I am hoping that my 5 year old will be ready enough and talk him into it...and I'd feel better with both of them having a buddy. I am also going to try the whistle idea someone brought up.
But I digress. My point is, all of this is going to depend on the child and situation involved. There is no right or wrong age to put on this and we should not judge others, either way, for doing what is best for their family. When a slightly older boy does need to be brought into the ladies room, all steps should be taken to respect anyone else in there so no one is uncomfortable.
We all just need to be considerate of others needs, whether that be privacy in the bathroom or keeping our sons safe.

Actually in a WOMAN'S room the privacy needs o woman and girls are more important than mommy "protecting" her tween son from the big bad men in the men's room. There is a reason there are gender specific bathrooms. A kid with special needs is different and no is saying other wise. But my former foster daughter also had special needs due to what her father did to her. Are her needs any less important when it comes to using her appropriate gender bathroom? Should she have to relive her abuse because women have this belief that the men's rooms is a horrible place that their sons will not come out of even though there is no evidence that this is the case is Disney. So screw the girls especially those with their own needs and just open the women's room to everyone.

As for running after someone who kidnaps your child while your on the toilet. First you have to realize your kid is gone. Then you will probably call him for a few seconds. Then you have to get up (ill assume you wouldn't wipe but your probably would because you would assume the kid wandered away) pull up your pants and get out of the stall. Your looking at what thirty seconds maybe a minute. Your kid is gone. So unless he's in the stall with you you have no way of protecting anyone while your pants are around your ankles

 

[Gracie09]

You are funny! Apparently we have hoards of peeping tom 6 year olds and wild sliding children everywhere at Disney! Really was it a little boy in the women's room who popped unexpectedly into your stall? He could not have been too old to go sliding from one to the other.

Are you saying that all parents should take all their little ones in the stall, or are you saying that it is okay for a strange little girl to watch you pee? I'm still unsure of where you all are coming from? I personally think it is disgusting and sick to see a difference between a 6 year old boy and a 6 year old girl. Some people may need counseling!

You don't think that young girl with her period feels awkward anyway? If it is such awkward embarrassment to the point that 6 and 7 year olds poise a threat then her mother needs to talk to her some more about it. A lot of times these negative body images and feelings of shame and embarrassment about natural functions of growing older stem from not being guided enough. I have daughters. 3 of whom are teenagers. And they did not feel this extensive sense of shame about having their period. However, I do admit that they knew how to deal with their periods prior to going to a large public place! And I would discuss any issues with them before going off to a different stall. If they were this worried about it, I would have taken them to the companion bathroom where strange children wouldn't be watching them in the stall.

Not saying that any little kids should be peeking at people in the bathroom! I am saying I seriously doubt it truly happens on a regular basis, and perhaps some people are way too paranoid. Honestly, most people are not paying attention to you or watching you use the bathroom. Are you and your kids peeking at people?

For the record, I do think 8 and 9 year old boys who are typical children do not need to come into the women's room unless there is a problem (like someone lurking around suspiciously!) I also always took my young children into the stall with me unless my oldest daughter was holding their hand. And yes, if someone tried to kidnap them while I was in the stall, I certainly would have run out of that stall and not worried one bit about what anyone thought of it!

I'm sure you and your daughters will have a wonderful trip even if a few kindergarten, 1st or 2nd grade boys are in the bathroom! Have a lovely day.

I've had a boy peek at me at Disney. I wacked the door and it hit him in the nose. His mother was none to happy. Too bad I told her I control her child.
It's not te periods are something to be embarassed about but when files first get them they often dot want boys to know because boys are embarassed an make faces,noise make fun of them etc. probably because the boys don't get it.

 

[Nancyg56]

But you are saying the same thing, that your girls needs are more important and too bad, so sad if someone has a concern for their sons.
That being said, I just want to say I completely understand giving girls their privacy when at all possible. I have DS(7) autism spectrum, DS(5) and DS(3) and I always try to use "family" restrooms first if DH is not with me. If they come in with me, honestly, they are in the stall longer than I am anyway. There are times, however, when someone has to go quickly and there is no way we would make it to one however, or there just is not one available. On top of that my 7 year old on the autism spectrum does not appear to have any special needs and is tall for his age, so I am starting to feel somewhat uncomfortable. However. DS7 has very high anxiety and I am not sure if he will ready yet to go in by himself by the time we go to WDW. I am hoping that my 5 year old will be ready enough and talk him into it...and I'd feel better with both of them having a buddy. I am also going to try the whistle idea someone brought up.
But I digress. My point is, all of this is going to depend on the child and situation involved. There is no right or wrong age to put on this and we should not judge others, either way, for doing what is best for their family. When a slightly older boy does need to be brought into the ladies room, all steps should be taken to respect anyone else in there so no one is uncomfortable.
We all just need to be considerate of others needs, whether that be privacy in the bathroom or keeping our sons safe.

I realize that many of us have already said this several times, but I will repeat it again. This discussion pertains to older boys who have no special needs and whose mothers have an overbearing need to haul them into a ladies room in order to satisfy their own need to protect them from some unknown disaster that may occur in the men's room despite the fact that there are generally several fathers, brothers, husbands, who would not turn a blind eye to a child being abused, abducted, or molested.

When it comes to those circumstances, yes. It is all about my DGD's comfort. It is about my not having to deal with lack of privacy. we are using a ladies room. There is an expectation of privacy when a woman or a girl enters a gender specific bathroom, and as many here have suggested, if anyone should lose that expectation of privacy, it is the mother of that tween boy.

I agree that mothers of special needs children are presented with challenges in which they make choices that are int eh best interests of their kids. I have not seen one poster on this thread who does not support those choices.

 

[Granny square]

I agree. As those boys with special needs grow older it absolutely is a circumstance for companion restrooms. That is the essence of what they are there for.

 

[CaraMiaBelle]

I realize that many of us have already said this several times, but I will repeat it again. This discussion pertains to older boys who have no special needs and whose mothers have an overbearing need to haul them into a ladies room in order to satisfy their own need to protect them from some unknown disaster that may occur in the men's room despite the fact that there are generally several fathers, brothers, husbands, who would not turn a blind eye to a child being abused, abducted, or molested.

When it comes to those circumstances, yes. It is all about my DGD's comfort. It is about my not having to deal with lack of privacy. we are using a ladies room. There is an expectation of privacy when a woman or a girl enters a gender specific bathroom, and as many here have suggested, if anyone should lose that expectation of privacy, it is the mother of that tween boy.

I agree that mothers of special needs children are presented with challenges in which they make choices that are int eh best interests of their kids. I have not seen one poster on this thread who does not support those choices.

I understand what you all have been saying, but I really was not mentioning my son as an example, just to illustrate that many of the boys everyone has seen in bathrooms may have indeed, been special needs. You would not necessarily know if a child has high anxiety, autism etc. I certainly not judge ANY mother/son I saw in one without knowing this information.
If I HAD to put an age on it however, I think that Disney was good to choose 10 to account for some of these children with invisible challenges.

 

[Nancyg56]

I agree. As those boys with special needs grow older it absolutely is a circumstance for companion restrooms. That is the essence of what they are there for.

I have never used a companion restroom, but from the numerous posts on the boards, it seems that there really are not enough of them, nor are they conveniently placed. As Disney renovates portions of their parks, it would be nice if they added some unisex bathrooms, and more companion restrooms. I was surprised to read that this is an area in which Disney is lacking, because there has been so much care to accommodate people whose needs keep them from many theme parks and vacation destinations. Personal comfort is one area that I would have thought Disney would ensure was addressed.

 

[CaraMiaBelle]

Please do not send your DS7 with autism and high anxiety into a different restroom. No one, even here on the DIS, has suggested that child with special needs should be made to actually suffer to prevent a few moments of embarrassment. My DS5 will in no way be ready to go off to the men's room when he is 7. Heck, if he pees in the potty while we are there in Sept, I will be jumping up and down with happiness.

LOL! And any men in the men's room would be WAY more uncomfortable in the men's room if they heard my son screech during a sensory/anxiety meltdown!
I do realize most people are understanding of special needs though, I just wanted to make clear to everyone that it is not always obvious, and not to judge a mother/son in the ladies room without further knowledge of that child.

 

[CaraMiaBelle]

I have never used a companion restroom, but from the numerous posts on the boards, it seems that there really are not enough of them, nor are they conveniently placed. As Disney renovates portions of their parks, it would be nice if they added some unisex bathrooms, and more companion restrooms. I was surprised to read that this is an area in which Disney is lacking, because there has been so much care to accommodate people whose needs keep them from many theme parks and vacation destinations. Personal comfort is one area that I would have thought Disney would ensure was addressed.

I agree, but that is across the board in all public places, including other amusement parks. I do always attempt a "family" type bathroom first, if they are available. Honestly, they are more convenient for us to use anyway. It is a shame there are not more of them.

 

[Nancyg56]

I understand what you all have been saying, but I really was not mentioning my son as an example, just to illustrate that many of the boys everyone has seen in bathrooms may have indeed, been special needs. You would not necessarily know if a child has high anxiety, autism etc. I certainly not judge ANY mother/son I saw in one without knowing this information.
If I HAD to put an age on it however, I think that Disney was good to choose 10 to account for some of these children with invisible challenges.

I know that because my DGD has social anxiety, and at 11, she is finally managing it well. Until very recently, even going to school if she was not feeling well took planning for her so that she would be comfortable if she needed to visit the nurse. Let's not talk about her traipsing off on her own. My DD would always try to find a way to minimize her anxiety, but she also had to balance her DD's personal challenges with the other people who may be impacted by her challenges.

I do not think this would even be a discussion if we did not also have to contend with parents whose own anxiety overshadows any information that negates all of the misinformation about bathroom horrors. It is my belief that we have been limiting the discussion to those parents and their tween boys

 

[Gracie09]

LOL! And any men in the men's room would be WAY more uncomfortable in the men's room if they heard my son screech during a sensory/anxiety meltdown!
I do realize most people are understanding of special needs though, I just wanted to make clear to everyone that it is not always obvious, and not to judge a mother/son in the ladies room without further knowledge of that child.

An the meltdown my former foster daughter would have had upon seeing and older boy in the woman's room would probably be equal to if not worse than your sons. But she's a girl so she doesn't matter in this equation.

 

[Granny square]

I have never used a companion restroom, but from the numerous posts on the boards, it seems that there really are not enough of them, nor are they conveniently placed. As Disney renovates portions of their parks, it would be nice if they added some unisex bathrooms, and more companion restrooms. I was surprised to read that this is an area in which Disney is lacking, because there has been so much care to accommodate people whose needs keep them from many theme parks and vacation destinations. Personal comfort is one area that I would have thought Disney would ensure was addressed.

I think that disney needs to work with the current group of moms that base their choices in fear and make more so that there enough for those with physical needs, and others.

 

[CaraMiaBelle]

An the meltdown my former foster daughter would have had upon seeing and older boy in the woman's room would probably be equal to if not worse than your sons. But she's a girl so she doesn't matter in this equation.

I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT say that her feelings do not matter. In fact, I have close, personal experience with someone abused. I get it and I do feel for her. A lot. I'm just trying to make everyone aware that we ALL have things we have to deal with and we all need to be considerate of others.If someone is bringing a perfectly capable 12+ year old into the bathroom, that is one thing and I would most certainly be upset too, but how would I know if he were "perfectly capable"? But if there are no "family-type" bathrooms nearby and available for a 7 year old with special needs are you saying they should be left out in the cold? Find a tree to pee on?
If someone in the bathroom came up to me and stated an issue like you are describing I would have absolutely NO problem walking out to find another location, or wait until she were done. Please ask.

 

[mom2rtk]

How many 6 year old boys are running around peeking in stalls and why would that bother you anymore than a strange little girl looking in your stall. In several decades of using the restroom at a large variety of places I have never once had a child put his or her eye up to the crack in the door. Please people be realistic!

Not to you in particular, but if you are all worried about little boys having some kind of sexual thoughts about you peeing you have a lot bigger problems than a child being in a restroom .... And if it is just privacy then it would not matter if it was a six year old boy or a girl watching you.

It may also be an opportunity to teach your daughters that the world is really not paying attention to them. The bathrooms are so huge and there are so many people in them that the 11 year olds calling to their mom for help with her period will be embarrassed to say it out loud in front of a room full of strangers and it won't matter if there is a boy in there, especially a little boy who does not even know about a period! I have four daughters and not one of them would complain about a 6, 7 year old in the bathroom. 9 is really pushing it to silliness if not disabled. Even my ds14 who has mild autism was out of the women's room before 8.

Before jumping all over and trying to belittle both me and my daughter next time, you might want to keep up with the thread before you post. Nobody that I'm aware of is talking about 6 year olds. You might have caught this post from me just a page or two back. You might have found out our feelings on this aren't that far apart:

I didn't take my boys into the ladies room after they reached school age. They would have thought I'd lost my marbles. Still, I don't have any problem with younger grade school boys in there. But once they hit 9 or 10 that's just too old. And it's more about mom's insecurity than a boy's perceived "safety" (barring special needs).

 

[Gracie09]

I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT say that her feelings do not matter. In fact, I have close, personal experience with someone abused. I get it and I do feel for her. A lot. I'm just trying to make everyone aware that we ALL have things we have to deal with and we all need to be considerate of others.If someone is bringing a perfectly capable 12+ year old into the bathroom, that is one thing and I would most certainly be upset too, but how would I know if he were "perfectly capable"? But if there are no "family-type" bathrooms nearby and available for a 7 year old with special needs are you saying they should be left out in the cold? Find a tree to pee on?
If someone in the bathroom came up to me and stated an issue like you are describing I would have absolutely NO problem walking out to find another location, or wait until she were done.

Of course you did. Look back a few pages. And at Disney which is where we are discussing, there are alternatives. They may not be as convenient as you would like but there are alternatives. They are even on the map.

 

[bartleby1]

Before jumping all over and trying to belittle both me and my daughter next time, you might want to keep up with the thread before you post. Nobody that I'm aware of is talking about 6 year olds. You might have caught this post from me just a page or two back. You might have found out our feelings on this aren't that far apart:

The OP's question was originally regarding a 6 year old...

 

[Nancyg56]

I think that disney needs to work with the current group of moms that base their choices in fear and make more so that there enough for those with physical needs, and others.

I absolutely agree. I have no idea about the logistics that go into the planning an placement of bathroom facilities, but I imagine that a company that has access to the resources that Disney has access to would be able to include enough companion and unisex restrooms to ensure that their guests have options that they are comfortable with.

 

[mom2rtk]

The OP's question was originally regarding a 6 year old...

Then the PP should have quoted the OP. But she quoted me as if I had an issue with 6 year boys in the ladies room.